Everyone has a secret - a secret that you hide from your best friend and your family, too. This is the secret that affects your whole life; the secret that you can't let go.
Everyone wants this kind of secret to be hidden for good.
Have you ever felt like you're a liar? Have you ever felt like the best thing you can do is staying quiet? Have you ever felt like you're the worst person in the world?
Yes. I know that everyone, at least once in their lifetime, feels this way. But me? I constantly feel like that.
It's because I have my own sweet little secret. The same secret I've hidden from the world for the longest of times. I feel ashamed because of this tiny stumble.
The worst thing about having secrets is that you can't tell it to anyone – not even to the people who know everything about you. It's absolutely miserable and soul-draining to keep a secret, but we still have them, don't we?
I didn't really want things to be like this, but people can't control their feelings. And we only realise we've made a wrong decision when we have already done it, anyway, when there's no going back.
I know, I was hypocritical, but what could I do? I can't escape from my feelings.
My sweet little secret was the most disgusting thing I could ever have. When I talk about it, people always ask me, why have I done this if I think it's disgusting? The answer is simple; It's because I was in love; It's because of the colour of his eyes and the way he looked at me when no one else was around. It's because of his soft hair and his tangy flavour.
We've always acted like the little children who hate each other. We were always so immature when there was someone else with us. He glanced at me in the most contemptuous of ways and he always made sure to insult me. He was my bittersweet affliction.
I will always remember the way he said the word 'Mudblood' and how much it hurt me every time I heard the derogatory term from him. It still breaks my heart when I think about it. I will always remember the way it felt whenever he hugged me - his hug was tight and warm and tempting. He only didthis a few times, after a big dispute or when I cried because something has gone terribly wrong.
He always apologized for being so rude to me in public, but he also always said that we can't be together. And he was right. It would have been strange for everyone.
But the difference between us is, I could tolerate the contempt and he could not. His father would have killed me most probably, but I didn't fear any of the Unforgivable Curses. I didn't fear his father. I wasn't afraid of what other people would think about us. My only fear was losing him.
I will always remember the passionate kisses and the secret dates. They're burned into my memory forever. They're now a part of me - a part of my past.
Everyone has a secret - a secret that we don't talk about because it hurts. But we can never forget it at all. A secret that has to stay in our past, but it still affects our present.
And my secret was Draco Malfoy.