AN: This was written for the Every Women 2015 exchange for mourn on AO3.

...~~***~~...

Pearl's crystal is large and white and fits perfectly in to the palm of Rose's hand. It's warm to the touch.

She's used to gems throwing themselves into the heat of battle for her but the amount of times that she has held this one gem in her palm recently is getting out of hand. Garnet has taken to smiling just a bit too wide, which is a concern in and of itself but Pearl herself is no help either, getting flustered and ducking her head before changing the topic when Rose asks. The only good thing is that it's obvious to everyone that Pearl is getting better at sword fighting.

Rose raises the gem to her face. "I'm waiting for you," she whispers. Pearl probably can't hear her when she's like this, only rarely can a gem be woken to usefulness in this state, but it makes her feel better to say the words. Easier to say them now when Pearl can't hide from them. "We need to talk."

...~~***~~...

She remembers the first time she saw Pearl at the farm. All of the other Pearls were lined up in a big open room, each one of them the same as the last. Pearls were knowledge keepers, an important piece in any gems' battalion. Pearls learned at a young age the history of their world, their tactics, their missions. She had been walking for awhile looking them over as they waited for her to pick out the ones that she wanted. Acquiring a few Pearls was one of the first step to glory; it's just that with all of them lined up like rows and rows of statues, no one stood out.

When a new Pearl tripped out of a door and into the line, the other Pearls turned as one to glare. It was the first emotion Rose had seen from them.

"Sorry I'm late," that Pearl said glaring back as she tried unsuccessfully to find a space in the line. She was flustered and upset. "Some Pearl told me that my attendance wasn't required but after checking, that was clearly not true."

The Pearl managed to squeeze herself between two others but she was quickly pushed slightly back as they closed back in cutting that Pearl off from being up front, she huffed in annoyance but stayed where she was one step behind the others. Rose's guide, a taller carbon copy of all the other Pearls picked back up where she'd left off explaining the functions that a Pearl could complete. Still, Rose found her eyes following that one Pearl throughout the trials, it wasn't hard. She stuck out; just a bit too tall, too loud, too weird, too different. Her Pearl gem was oval instead of round, her face more pointy and sharp, and her movements more smooth.

The Pearls were asked for simple facts and all of them recited the basics but that Pearl gave long rambling answers as if lecturing the others. Rose hid her smiles behind her hand watching the growing dissatisfaction of the statues around that Pearl. As a bonus some of that Pearl's thoughts were different and interesting.

"It's not surprising, when looking at the historical mining of planets, that gems sometimes have to fight the existing planet's species. We should probably wipe all life off of the planet before we start the process. I'm not sure why we don't," that Pearl rambled at the end of one question. They quickly moved on to the next Pearl but Rose was still stuck wondering why the process that crippled a planet was done where other creatures lived.

Every Pearl showed off their natural ability to transform, smoothly shifting into other shapes. The flow of light morphing them from one form to another, like a reflection off a facet. Big, small, tall, scary and then smoothly back to a Pearl. The odd Pearl tried and failed to change even a little. "It's a work in progress," she laughed hollowly and then slunk back to stand slightly behind the line of Pearls her head down. The statues seemed pleased, and that Pearl refused to look at Rose for the rest of the trials.

She didn't fuse either. The other Pearls connected themselves into a chain, each adding their power to the others while that Pearl stood alone. They didn't want her included and she didn't even try.

At the end of the day Rose made her choice easily. She never regretted it, though the others questioned her thought process and whispered that she was too soft. The odd Pearl looked up at her with such amazement that Rose knew she'd been right to pick her.

...~~***~~...

She feels the swell of power as Pearl's gem glows and the shape of her body reforms, perfect once more. Pearl crouches in front of Rose her head bent. This is something new that Pearl has picked up from humans. It makes Rose feel off balance but at the same time like she could ask anything of Pearl. That maybe Pearl wants her to, she smiles down at her Pearl. They've both become so different here on the Earth than when they were under the watchful eyes of Home World. "My Pearl," Rose says.

"Yes?"

"This is the fifth time this week you've had to reform. What's going on?"

Pearl looks away, Rose isn't good asking about feelings but this is nothing new to them. They dance this dance often, Rose throws her questions like a net and Pearl dodges, slipping away. Rose wishes that she could be like Garnet sometimes and just see what the problem is.

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"You have to tell me what's wrong, Pearl. Why are you doing this?"

Pearl bows her head and hugs herself. "I'm— I'm just not useful enough to you."

"That's not true."

"It is! I'm not strong, I can't see the future, I'm too weak."

Rose shakes her head, her curls shaking back and forth. "You don't have to be those things because I need you to keep being you, my knowledgable Pearl. Is this why you've picked up the sword?"

"Anyone can learn a weapon, and this way I can protect you!" Pearl says.

Rose steps forwards and puts her hand on Pearl's face. "I can protect you and myself, I just want you to be you, Pearl."

"I want to be me, but better."

"You're wonderful already," Rose says but Pearl steps away from Rose and looks at the ground.

"I'm afraid," she says.

"Of what?" Rose says.

"Home World isn't satisfied with our work. Our excuses aren't going to be convincing for long. They're getting suspicious that we're not showing enough progress."

"I know. I'm still thinking of how to deal with it."

"It's going to be bad if they come out here. You've looked in the mirror, it's shown you what has happened before. All the other times that Home World wasn't happy with progress."

"I know."

Pearl turns back to Rose her expression determined. "I won't have the luxury of staying out of the fight when they come. All of us have to be ready for battle."

Rose steps forward reaching out her hand again to cup Pearl's face. "You're getting so much better at fighting but you're already keeping us safe. We wouldn't have been aware there was a time table or what the response could be at all without you Pearl. You were the one that thought to ask the mirror. You were the one that considered that someone had to have rebelled before."

Pearl laughs and shakes her head. "It's hardly special to ask questions."

"Is it?"

Pearl doesn't answer and the silence hangs until Pearl nods her head and reaches up to cover Rose's hand with her own. "Rose, what are we going to do?"

"We're going to keep everyone safe. You're going to keep me safe. However you can, even if you need to fight."

"Okay. I can work with that."

"But you have to be more careful."

"I'm always careful."

"Oh Pearl, my Pearl. You're really not and I need you. Who else would I share the things I can't share with anyone else?" Rose looks at Pearl, willing her to understand. She is important, all of her gems are important. But Pearl most of all, there's no other Pearl like her anywhere else. "Do you understand? Only you Pearl."

"Yes, my Liege," Pearl replies, still she doesn't look convinced.

But Rose has time. If her plans work and they live through the up coming battles she'll have all the time in the world to convince Pearl that she is worth everything. For now it's enough that she can pull Pearl close and hold her.

They gaze up at the stars for a long time.