It's been three weeks since Blaine went to New York. Three weeks since he had a boyfriend. Three weeks since he was happy. Everyday was the same. He woke up with about 30 seconds of relief until all the memories and emotions flooded back into his mind. He had to motivate himself to even get up for school. He gelled his hair like always but didn't really care about his outfits. His large quantity of bowties lay back in their shelves, untouched for weeks. Blaine went to class and did his work like usual. Except it was just a shell. He only spoke when spoken to, and only terse answers. He didn't try for solos in glee and hasn't sung except when his feelings grow too intense in his head as a certain memory implodes in his head. He sits in the back of class and keeps his head down in the halls. He knows that Grease auditions are in two days but he doesn't see the point in trying out.
It's Wednesday and Blaine is sitting in the back of Glee, like usual. Finn is talking about the musical, and Blaine is barely listening.
"Alright guys, so I thought to help get ready for the musical, we could get a little help. So I asked some people to come visit" The whole club was quiet and very curious who was coming to help.
"Guys, come on in!"
Mercedes and Santana came in, followed by Mike, then Rachel. Lastly, Kurt ended the trail of graduates. Squeals of excitement and cheers broke out. The high schoolers stood and hugged their old friends. Blaine stayed seated with the confused Newbies. He wasn't focused on the conversations flowing around him, just a face in particular. A face he hasn't seen in weeks. A face he loves dearly and wishes would look at him. But Kurt is talking to Brittany. Blaine just stares, tears forming in his eyes. Then Kurt glances towards Blaine. His grin drops, then quickly replaces with a tight lipped, small smile. Blaine tries to smile back but he doesn't think he achieved it. Finn starts to quiet everyone down and the glee club goes sit back down. The old glee clubbers stand beside Finn grinning and looking at their old friends, all except Kurt, who is staring at the floor.
Finn explains why he brought his friends and then disperses the group who go their own groups. Blaine stays seated again and just stares at his lap. He feels someone stand beside him.
"hey"
Blaine looks up to see Kurt looking at him, concern and sadness written on his face
"Are you alright?"
Blaine stares at Kurt, unsure what to say. He ends up just saying the truth.
"No" He doesn't elaborate.
Kurt just looks at Blaine while he stares back at his lap. Blaine realizes Kurt isn't leaving so he asks him. "Can-can we talk, please?"
Kurt nods and starts to sit down but Blaine puts his hand out, he looks around.
"Alone?" he says, barely a whisper.
"okay"
Blaine stands and walks to the door, he keeps his eyes to the floor and heads to the auditorium. They get to the stage and Blaine finally looks up at Kurt.
"What did you want to say Blaine?" Kurt asks, his voice pained.
Blaine takes a breath, trying to find the right words to say.
"Kurt, I- You know I'm sorry. So so sorry. I regret what I did, I regretted it as soon as it happened. I know you hate me for what I did, I hate me too. I did the worst thing I have ever done and I hurt the most important person in my life." Blaine paused, waiting for Kurt's reaction.
"What you did, it hurt me. The worst pain I have ever felt. You made me think that you don't care about me, that you don't love me. How am I supposed to forgive you for this?"
I don't expect you to forgive me, especially when I can't even forgive myself. I just want you to know how sorry I am and I love you. Only you. I won't, I can't love anybody else. You were it for me. And I screwed it up. I'm so sorry" Blaine finished with tears running down his face and him looking down in shame. "I told you once that sometimes talking doesn't work and you told me I should say how I really feel in the best most honest way I know how. So, if you let me, I would like to do that." Blaine looks up at Kurt, almost pleadingly, looking to see if he can sing the one song that's been running through his head on constant repeat for days. Kurt stares at Blaine and just nods. Blaine turns and puts his Music player on the speaker. Kurt sits on a stool and Blaine turns and looks at him as the song starts.
Blaine takes a breath and puts his entire soul into the words he is about to sing.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You
and the reason is You
I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you
Blaine finished the song, his eyes barely left Kurt's the whole time. Both men had tears rolling down their faces. Kurt stands and walks over to Blaine. He opens his mouth then closes it, unsure of what he could possibly say. After a second of silence, Kurt wraps his arms around Blaine. Blaine freezes for a moment in surprise, but quickly reciprocates the hug as more tears fall down his cheeks.
Neither one of them know how long they stood there for, engulfed in each other. Eventually Kurt pulled back, but left his hands on Blaine's shoulders.
"You are not forgiven….yet. But, I am willing to work through this."
Blaine nods his head quickly, afraid to speak until Kurt finished speaking.
"Just know, if you ever cheat again, I'm done. Okay?"
"It will never, ever happen again. I promise."
Kurt just smiled and Blaine smiled back. After another moment of them just looking at each other, both boys leaned in and connected their lips. It wasn't needy or lust filled. It was slow and sweet.
It was pure love.
What did you think? If you liked it, please tell me. If you didn't like it please let me know so I know to either improve or stop writing.