Disclaimer: If I own HSM, Troy would call Sharpay "Shar" and they would be together.
Sharpay walked on the sidewalk. It was sunset.
No sound of heels and no pink in sight. She didn't know where she was headed, she just walked.
Eventually, she found herself settling down under a tree on that familiar green lawn in from of East High.
Four years ago, she would never have allowed herself to sit down there. She never would have allowed herself to get those grass stubborn grass stains on her shorts (even though they were black). She never would have gone out of her house in shorts, anyways.
She was always embarrassed at how pale her legs looked.
There wasn't anyone there anyways, if that helped.
Four years ago, she would have lived her life without feeling. Without harm, or loss, or…
But the fire destroyed everything. The fire that burned her house down. She still remembers.
How could she forget?
Sharpay and Ryan were throwing a graduation party at their house. They invited everyone. Taylor, Chad, Gabriella and… even Troy.
Although she'd hate to admit it, she was quite excited that he would be there.
Something went wrong with the flame-thrower they hired to perform and the house flamed out. It happened too fast
It happened way too fast. All she felt was that someone grabbed her hand and dragged her out. She ran as far as she could, and never looked back. She worried about them; the house, her friends, her brother, but she never looked back.
She then, at that moment, realized why she came to that tree.
Ryan loved it.
The tree, not her.
He always said that that tree gave him a sense of security. It shadowed all his fears and drove them away. All his sadness would just… cease to exist.
Just like him.
The tree would protect him, and when he was under it, he felt… at peace. Like nothing bad could ever happen.
Even though worse did.
He felt like even if the world came crashing down on him, the tree would bear everything and he wouldn't hurt.
She felt just like that about Ryan.
Ryan died. Taylor died. Chad died.
She just had to say something.
What do you say to your dead brother?
Sharpay took a dead breath.
"Hi."
The leaves rustled. A sign of acknowledgement? She tried again.
"Hi."
Suddenly it all came out. It all came pouring out.
"I'm sorry. I'M SORRY!" Tears started to fall. "It's mad nowadays, without you, and everybody. After four years, you would think that we're… you know… pretty much over it. But we aren't. I'm not. I should be. I should have let it pass, but HOW COULD I?! How could I pretend for one second that all this hasn't been taken away from me?!"
Tears were pouring now. Hard.
"All I used to want… the lead, being perfect, TROY! I don't care anymore."
Yes you care about him.
"I don't! Everyone died. Everything I ever had has been taken away from me and I never even had a chance to…"
Say goodbye?
"We're so different now. Me and Troy. You would think that if Gabriella were gone, we would be together. But I was so distraught, and so torn up on the inside. You left. How was I supposed to handle it?"
It was getting hard to talk now, between talking and sobbing and choking on her words.
But she kept on.
"How was I supposed to pretend, like all I've ever done, that I'm FINE?!! How!?!"
She needed closure, but she wasn't going to get it on her own.
She was screaming at this point.
"I JUST WANT TO GO BACK! TO WHERE IT WAS…safe. We were happy. But we can't go back. We can't. I sick of it. I'm sick of having this pain in my chest, of thinking that I have nothing left. I'm sick of living."
"Can we go back?"
A leaf fell on her head.
Comfort, maybe?
Or…disagreement.
It didn't matter; she knew the answer the moment she asked her question.
"Shar?" Only one person ever called her Shar now.
"Troy?"
"Why are you out here?"
She must have looked dreadful. Mascara streaked face, and black shorts. Rumpled hair. Gosh, how things have changed.
"Why are you?"
"You were missing from the house, so I got worried… and I just…I came and…uhhh."
Yes, she stayed at Troy's house now. She had nowhere else.
And…no one else.
There was this awkward silence. There were lots of awkward silences now, between he and Troy.
But she couldn't deny the feelings she used to have for him.
And still do.
She couldn't. But, it was too much for her to get together with Troy now, with everything falling apart. Ryan was the one who always held everything together.
"Are you okay?" The answer stopped mattering when Ryan died.
"Yeah, I guess."
Troy just go away.
"I think we need to talk."
What about? Everything just fell apart when Ryan died. What in the world do you want to talk about?
"I know it's hard for you. It's hard for me too. I was crushed when it happened. But we have to move on."
She started crying again.
"I don't know what to do, but we have to get on with our lives. I've seen how you lived these past four years. You don't know how much it hurts. How much it hurts for me to see you like that."
I hurt him? He was the one who hurt me first. He was the one who drove me to be senseless, to have no feelings.
"But I thought you hated me?"
"I never hated you. I'm sorry for…you know."
He couldn't bring himself to say it.
"For treating me like shit."
"Yeah, about that, I'm sorry. I guess I got too caught up with my friends and everything and everyone around me that I just neglected you because-"
"Because I was not significant?"
"Sorry."
They just sat there, watching the sunset, and listening to Sharpay's quiet sobs.
Then Troy spoke.
"I love you."
WHHATT?
"Sorry, could you repeat that? I wasn't listening."
Gosh I hate it when my daydreams mix with reality.
"I love you. I love you, Shar. I love you like I've never loved anyone before, not even Gabriella. I liked you for quite some time now, even before Gabriella came, but I guess everything just distracted me. I'm sorry. And I know you made advances and everything, but I couldn't. Do you understand? I couldn't. And I know that it's awfully pathetic of me to come to you when everybody's gone. But I realized, that from this experience, from these four years, I can't live without you. I can't. I could leave without Gabriella, and even Chad. But not you Shar. I love you."
And he actually looked sincere.
I actually believed him.
I actually love him.
But he was speaking the truth.
He loves me too.
"I'm sorry Troy. I'm sorry from hiding these past few years. I just…"
"I understand."
He understood.
"I love you too, Troy."
He cried then. He was so happy.
"We'll get through this together, Shar. Don't worry, I'm here."
He was my closure.
He was my tree.
Four years ago, she would have lived her life without feeling. Without harm, or loss, or…
Love.
A/N: Hey there. I just wanted to write this, and please please review and comment on it. It would be really appreciated. I worked on this, so I just want to know that my effort hasn't gone to waste.