A/N: Well it has been quite a while since I posted anything at all on here... I blame my sister for this because I had an idea in my head that I wrote out because of anxiety and she wanted to read it. So here we are. Enjoy :)
xxx
The Teen Titans never really knew what to do when their leader was called upon by Batman. Well, they knew to carry on business as usual. However, every member of the team had to wonder what goes on in Robin's second life, or perhaps more accurately, first life. One teammate, in particular, was in quite the slump with the sudden absence of her long-time friend yet relatively new boyfriend. When Starfire discovered that Robin had snuck off in the night, she felt a pang of emotion in her chest that she could not quite place.
Starfire was not angry. That would never be the case when it came to Robin's trips to Gotham. As heroes, they all had a duty to protect and help those in need. He could not control when Batman needed him, but he had a duty to go to his hometown and help protect it. The whole team understood this, but it did not keep their curiosity at bay. So Starfire could not be angry with her boyfriend.
Robin had even left her a note telling her that he had to leave, in addition to the simple message he would normally leave for the whole team. He let her know that he did not know when he would return and that he was sorry for the sudden exit.
This emotion that Starfire was feeling was new, something that terrified her to her core as someone whose powers operated under extreme emotions.
The team had been strangely quiet all morning, and Starfire had kept vigil on the couch waiting for any kind of message from Robin.
"Hey, Star. How are you feeling?" asked Beast Boy as he plopped himself next to her on the couch, startling her from her thoughts.
"I," Starfire sighed, "do not know. The Batman has called on Robin before. I know he must go to help, but why must he not tell me the reason that he goes?"
"He's never really told anybody about what goes down in Gotham when he's there. But don't worry Star. He's probably kicking ass and taking names with one of the most badass heroes in the world."
"I am well aware of the kicking of the asses. I just do not understand why he does not talk to me about it. We all know Batman did the raising of Robin, but nothing more. If I am to be his emotional companion should I not know more about his life outside of this tower?" Starfire could not put a name to this emotion, but what she knew for sure was that the only thing she wanted to do was cry. So she did.
"Oh, Starfire," whispered Beast Boy as he hugged his crying friend. "You know Robin, probably better than anyone else on this team. You know he has his secrets and he hides behind that mask..." he trailed off, not knowing how to find a bright side for her.
Starfire felt Beast Boy shift and look at someone entering the room, and judging by the footsteps she heard she could accurately predict who came in.
"Hey now! Why is the little lady crying?" Cyborg asked, gently sitting on the other side of Starfire and placing a hand on her back.
"R-r-r," Starfire tried to get out in between heaving breaths, but couldn't speak.
Beast Boy quickly explained what Starfire was upset about to Cyborg while he listened intently.
"Starfire that boy has been in love with you since he first laid eyes on you. I'm willing to bet any money that he has wanted to tell you those things countless times, but Beast Boy is right, he hides behind that mask and uses it to keep a lot of things a mystery. You two have been together for only a fraction of the time that you have known each other. It takes time to bring those kinds of walls down. Give him time," Cyborg said while soothingly rubbed her back.
Starfire's sobs had slowed, and she looked at her friends gratefully. She slowly stood up.
"I think I would like to be alone for a while. Thank you Friend Beast Boy and Friend Cyborg for trying to make me feel better," she said solemnly and began to walk to her room.
She knew that Cyborg was probably right, but she still could not shake this sadness that she felt. She loved Robin, this she knew for sure. While it was never said out loud between the two of them, it was fairly obvious that they loved each other.
However, he knew so much about her past and she knew so little about is. It hardly felt fair. It was as if she were in love with a total stranger!
'No,' Starfire said to herself and shook her head. That was simply not true. She knew her Robin, just not the secrets that he hid behind his mask. She always knew that these secrets existed. Just knowing that they exist as a girlfriend is a lot harder than knowing as a friend.
She looked up to find herself outside of Raven's room. Their conversations rarely gravitated toward the touchy-feely because Raven's empathetic abilities made those conversations unnecessary. Raven just understood, and sometimes that is all anyone ever needs.
Starfire sighed and raised her hand to knock.
"Come in," droned Raven's voice and she quietly entered the room. "Would you like to meditate with me?"
Starfire gave a small smile and nodded. The two girls assumed the familiar position and a comfortable silence fell between them.
"Starfire?" Raven asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes, Raven?"
"I know this is hard for you. I also know that what Beast Boy and Cyborg said has not convinced you to feel better. I can tell you what I know, and that is that it is very difficult for him emotionally to keep a certain secret. He is also very good at masking his emotions, especially around this. So all I know is that he feels guilty about it."
Starfire sighed. "Thank you, friend, for telling me. Robin's absence has never been an issue before, but as his girlfriend, it is hard to realize that he still has many secrets from me. My mind does the running wild."
"How about we go out for dinner?" Raven suggested which is something she rarely does, so Starfire could not refuse, knowing that her friend was trying to make her feel better.
Dinner was interesting, to say the least. Jump City was very used to seeing the five teenagers out together, so they were immediately questioned about Robin's whereabouts which quickly transitioned into questions about Batman. Anybody who does not live under a rock knows that when Robin leaves Jump City on his own he is likely visiting the notorious hero of Gotham.
Beast Boy and Cyborg were able to shoo off he curious civilians while they secured a more private table at their favorite pizza shop. By the time they were all seated, their waitress brought them their usual order. The rest of the team tried to talk about different things to distract Starfire and it worked for a while, but the thought of Robin's secret life nagged the back of her mind.
Maybe Batman wanted him to come home for good, and he was trying to find a good way to tell them all. He probably felt guilty because he felt like he was abandoning the team that he loved. Abandoning the girl that he loved.
Luckily, she was able to fully ditch these thoughts when they heard the sounds of glass breaking. Her head snapped up and she saw two suspicious men breaking into a store across the street.
"It seems to be a robbery!" Starfire exclaimed. "Titans, go!"
Starfire was never one to take the lead when Robin was gone, but no one would dispute her natural leadership skills. She was royalty, after all.
The situation was dealt with annoyingly fast for Starfire, and the men were detained and ready for Jump City Police to come to collect them. She was almost upset; going into battle mode was the best way to distract herself from her own intrusive thoughts.
Flying has always relaxed her, so she flew back to the tower on her own, hoping to clear her mind some more. However, a heart dropping thought came to mind.
What if Robin did not go back to Gotham for Batman. He rarely spoke fondly of the man, so why would he go home so quickly? Perhaps he had friends or family that needed him? Did he have a girlfriend when he lived in Gotham? Did they break up when he left? What if Starfire was the 'other' girl so to speak?
"I am losing my mind!" she yelled out to nobody. Obviously, Robing kept his secrets but he would never do something like that to any girl. He was too good of a person. She knew he would tell her about his life in Gotham someday, but that knowledge did not make her feel better at the moment. Her own thoughts were taking such painful turns, and all she wanted was to cuddle up to her boyfriend and feel safe and secure.
Starfire considered training when she returned to the Tower, but on her way to the training room, she passed Robin's door and stopped.
A quick snoop through the room could prove her intrusive thoughts wrong.
'No,' she thought to herself. 'That would be an intrusion of his privacy.'
However, Robin gave her special access to his room, and she had already spent plenty of time in there with him. If he did not want her to go in, he never would have given her the ability to go in when he is not around.
She decided against her better judgment and slipped into the room.
She wanted to be nosy, she truly did, but it just felt so wrong to go through Robin's things. So instead, Starfire quickly found a cozy-looking sweatshirt amongst the clothes that were not additional uniforms and snuggled into it. Almost immediately, the familiar scent calmed her.
With another glance around the room, Starfire shook all of her nosy thoughts from her head. As she walked back towards the door, a flash of purple on Robin's bed caught her eye and the memory made her smile.
The new couple was cuddled up on Robin's bed talking about nothing in particular when Starfire made an observation about her boyfriend's living space.
"Your room does not have any fun color!" she exclaimed.
Robin looked at her with a smirk. "What are you talking about, Star?"
"Look around. Everything in here is boring colors."
"I think the word you are looking for here is neutral, which is totally acceptable as a decor choice. Plus, there is some color." He pointed towards his hanging uniforms with a fake indignance.
Starfire laughed. "Your clothes don't count! Everyone else's rooms reflect parts of themselves and things that they like."
"Well, I like you. Just stay here forever." Robin pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.
"Ooh I have the idea!" she shrieked and quickly jumped out of the bed and ran out of the room.
When she returned, she carried a small purple throw pillow that normally sat on her bed as decoration. She thrust the pillow at Robin and returned to his inviting arms.
"Star," he laughed, "I am so glad that you are mine." He quickly closed the distance between them and Starfire melted into his kiss.
Her original plan on leaving was now thwarted. She did not feel so alone when she was in his room. She laid down on the bed an clutched the small pillow. She felt the most content since she found out Robin had left that morning.
She didn't realize that she had fallen asleep until she was awoken by pressure on her temple. Her eyes blinked open and tried to take in her surroundings before she realized where she was and who had woken her up. She stiffened slightly when she felt him lay down next to her, afraid of what Robin would say about finding her here, but she immediately relaxed when his arms wrapped around her and pulled her close to kiss her shoulder.
"You know I was really hoping that the first time I saw you waking up in my bed I would have had the pleasure of spending the night with you first," he murmured into her back.
Starfire snorted at his comment and turned to face him only to be met with blue eyes. His bright blue eyes. Her breath hitched and she placed a hand on his cheek. He closed his eyes and nuzzled into her hand.
"No," she said, lightly tapping his cheek," You do not get to hide those eyes from me anymore."
He chuckled and looked at her in a way that made her heart melt. Who knew human eyes could convey so much emotion? She loved it. She loved him.
"Robin - " she started but was immediately cut off with a kiss.
"I think it would be much more appropriate from now on if you called me by my actual name when we are alone together," he said after pulling away.
"Actual name?" Starfire questioned, all of her crazy thoughts from the day coming back to her at once. She knew he had a mysterious past, but a secret identity? Suddenly, the mask made a lot more sense.
"Yeah, well, 'Robin' is a crime-fighting persona that was created to assist Batman. He was never supposed to have his own friends or relationships but here we are," he chuckled. "Having my girlfriend call me the name that should be associated with fighting criminals just feels wrong. Obviously, when it comes to Robin in Jump City, I am a lot more myself, but being back in Gotham made me realize that 'Robin' is just a fraction of myself and in order for us to work, secrets can't hold me back anymore. Potentially telling anyone who I am worried Batman because he is paranoid and thinks that anyone could make a connection and find out who he really is. I'll tell the others in due time and with his permission, but you deserve to know with or without that permission."
Unsure of how to feel, Starfire asked, "So what do I call you?"
"My name is Richard Grayson, but my friends and family call me Dick. I lost my parents when I was young, which caused Bruce Wayne to take me in as his adoptive son. I promise someday I will tell you everything about my past and my life in Gotham and why it is so hard for me to deal with my own emotions-"
"Dick," Starfire cut him off and he smiled at hearing her use his name for the first time.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to ramble. Star, you are my family. I can't keep things from you anymore. I love you too much to put you through that."
Starfire smiled, blinking happy tears out of her eyes and leaned forward to capture Dick's lips with her own. His hands tangled in her hair and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
She pulled away and murmured, "I love you as well." They held each other in a comfortable silence, not wanting to ever part.
"Not that I'm complaining or anything, but what exactly brought you into my room tonight?" he asked with a sly smirk.
"Oh," Starfire blushed, "I just really missed you"
He gave her a quizzical look. "I know there's more to it than that, but I missed you too so I'll accept it... for now. Also, you look really cute in that sweatshirt. You are more than welcome to steal my clothes more often."
Starfire laughed and leaned close to him to say menacingly, "I will steal all of your masks so I can stare into those eyes forever."
Dick laughed with her. "Don't worry, Star. I'm all yours. Eyes included."
A/N: This makes me happy. Just for some background, I lived for Teen Titans as a kid (like we all did obvi) but I am more recently getting into more of the actual comic book storylines. Mostly because I realized that I love Nightwing. I hope you all enjoyed because this was nice creative therapy for me and my anxiety :)