Frustrations
Inspired by MythicWolf04's: Frustrations of the Wrong Kind.
And there he stood all broody like and stern, what a hunk, with his back at me.
He peered into the window, his soft face in the reflection, while rain pelted down.
I clutched my pounding chest as my heart fluttered.
There's no way it's been this long...
My tail tucked between my dang, wavering legs before I stumbled towards him, which I have to admit, I probably looked like a complete fucking idiot.
He stared lost in thought, the cup in his hand steamed while I snuck up behind him.
Each step clattered against the floor, so much for subtly...but hey, you try sneaking in boots.
I extended my hand towards him. My fingers twitched and curled before I recoiled back because these dang, intoxicating emotions kicked my teeth in; I stood behind him like a dweeb or if anyone in the bus stop could see, they'd probably would've thought that I'm a creep...
Wolf glanced over his flamboyant spiked shoulder pad, which I have to admit is cartoonishly evil, before he nudged his head towards the window—his warm smile cradled my heart.
Cheeks burned. Rapid baited breaths lashed at my throat. I stepped beside him.
His amethyst eyes like leftover wine in a glass sheened. Ah shit, I forgot to buy some!
I fixated on the window while droplets pattered against it and trickled down it as they left a trail behind.
My tail wagged, I glance up at him.
Even though it's been years, he still the same...the same as when...that day...
I shake my head before I averted my gaze: a twinge plucked at my heartstrings.
His stoic stare is adorab-I mean admirable! Granted, he is absolutely adorable with his smeared eyeliner that contradicts his whole masculinity persona.
Oh geez, is it hot in here?
Wolf glanced over his shoulder at the lobby...because of the stupidest reasons...and I get it but I fucking hate it. He stared at the window while he sipped his coffee as his ears flattened and the end of his lip curled down.
I edged my wavering, sweaty hand next to his palm and before I laced my fingers by his, he jerked back and stared at me in disgust. Like loving another man in public is disgusting because you have to think of the fucking goddamn kids.
He lowered his head between his shoulder and whispered, "Sorry."
His ears pinned back and he glanced at me with that puppy dog eye and his eyepatch: the damn reminder.
Wolf sipped his coffee.
We stood in putrid silence. Neither of us budged, we stared out the window and watch the cars drift by.
Blistering, biting, blinding ire clutched my mind and a keen twinge wrapped itself around my temples.
I hate this.
I really hate this.
I really fucking, lylat dammit hate this!
My quivering lips hung as I choked on the words: I love you because that's not acceptable.
I rubbed the back of my hand against my eyes and wiped the stinging, welled tears.
All I wanted was to feel close but I can't even when you're beside me.
All I wanted was to feel your love and have you with me.
All I wanted was to show you that I love you.
But I can't...because...
It isn't acceptable.
It's offensive to kiss in public. It's repulsive to show your love in public. It's disgusting to be who I am in public.
I glanced over my shoulder and stared at the other occupants, who mind their business like I mind mine and we all should: so fuck it.
"Wolf?"
He turned to me. "Ye-" His eye rounded and ears stood.
My lips embraced his, the bitter taste of coffee and his sultry breath enticed me.
I don't care, they shouldn't care, no one should care what we do because it doesn't matter.
I step back and glance at the lobby.
But three of eight occupants stared...in that weird microaggression way when they glanced at us and shook their heads or rolled their eyes like we're some kind of filthy degenerate but at least no one said anything: thank fuck.
We stared at each other but his soft eye rounded as his brows parted.
My heart raced when his skin flushed beneath the fur.
He tucked his lip under his fangs as his eye darted away.
Wolf flicked his pointer finger towards the exit before he peeked at me with a pitiful expression.
I faced away, clasped my lips, and rubbed the back of my neck while an uncomfortable sensation surged through my body.
We stood there for minutes as neither of us said a word or bothered to stare at one another. So, we stepped into the frigid rain but because of my dumbass, we're soaked while our boots squeaked and squelched.
Even as we strolled through the packed sidewalk, Wolf distanced himself from me because he pretended he isn't with a guy or that he happened to fall for one since we all know that's not masculine or maybe I'm not getting it because...honestly. I sighed.
Can't blame him, not after that day...
It's hard to swallow that one thing ruined it all.
Just one random douche, who had a stick up his ass and couldn't stand what he saw.
Maybe that's why? It'd make more sense than the whole masculine thing but fuck, he's hard to read.
I clenched my teeth and lowered my head by my chest as the venom sunk into my thoughts.
But for a second, a genuine one, Wolf's hand reached for mine and he enveloped it while he squeezed my palm. His claws pressed against my skin.
He stepped beside me, his shoulder brushed against mine.
...Or maybe he's just scared...?
But at least for a few seconds, everything normal: the way it should be...until his fingers slipped from mine and he distanced himself again.
It's strange, I never noticed it until...it all went to shit.
A frigid chill plucked my heartstrings.
I shut my eyes and exhaled while my pace faltered until I strolled behind him with my head slumped between my shoulders because it really fucking hurt.
Wolf ears slanted, his tail curled between his legs.
He glanced over his shoulder. His glistening, half-lidded eye pierced my heart.
I opened my mouth but the ire burrowed into my throat.
My chest pitted and crumbled before I faced away while I clenched my teeth.
I huffed, my eyes narrowed.
It's not his fault, not after what happened. I'd be scared too but it's that... I clenched my teeth and shook my head.
We strolled in silence. My heavy eyes fluttered and the white sound of the avenue droned.
I trailed behind him as my body ran on autopilot.
Deep inside, I wanted to tear out my hair as I screamed from the top of my damn lungs.
'Can't you love me the way the hetero couples love each other!' But I know why...
No one wants to see two men kissing or showing affection to one another.
Then you hear: I'd stop anyone! And no you wouldn't, you're blind to it.
Man and women holding hands? That's okay. Same sex? Fuck no!
But the kids! Queer propaganda! It makes me uncomfortable!
Get over yourself, it's not your problem: fuck off.
But that's just how it is so I have to shut up.
Because that's what they want you to do.
Out of sight, out of mind.
...Don't exist...
I snapped out of my daze. His boots rapped against the sidewalk as Wolf bolted towards a ticket booth under a structure's recess.
We jogged up the flight of stairs, passed the toll, and strolled to the vacant train station's platform roof while rain buffeted against the tinfoil.
I rubbed my fingers against my tensed temples.
Can't let that shit get to me. Besides, at least I'm not alone.
I crossed my arms while I sighed and shivered.
I rubbed my gloved hands along my unkempt arms.
A gust of wind lashed against me. I scrunch up.
My eyes widened and jaw hung when he lapped his arm around me and pulled me into the side of his chest. His body heat mended the loneliness.
He didn't glance over his shoulder. He didn't hesitate. He held me close.
Wolf stared down at me with a meek smile. " I've missed you." He patted my shoulder.
My brows parted, I gazed into his eyes but the words fumbled out of my mouth, "I'ehve m-missed you too." My outstretched smile dimpled my burning cheeks.
"Heh." He tilted his head back. "Forgot how dorky you are."
"Please, you're just as bad." I nudge his chest with my fist.
"How?" Wolf raised a brow.
"Your singing."
He stared at me and bit his lip. Got him!
I raised a brow.
"Bullshit."
"Oh?"
He nodded.
"This is what you sound like." I exaggerated his voice as mine cracked, "YOU Arrreee SO beautiful, tooooooo MEEEEEeeee." I coughed as blissful laughter tickled my lungs.
Wolf covered his face with his palm as his ears pinned back and cheeks flushed.
His bottom lip quivered.
"What?" I tiptoed to rest my forehead against his.
He flicked his tongue against his lips. "I..." He lowered his palm and pulled me into his chest as we cuddled. His sweet musk caressed my nose as his breaths brushed against my forehead.
Wolf sniffles as he choked up.
My brows parted as I stared up at him; my eyes welled with tears as I gazed into his and my lip quivered.
And he shows me that side, the side he buried deep in himself because I know he's scared.
Wolf wavering jaw hung as his eye scurried away because for some reason it's hard to be yourself...even with your loved one. He clasped his lip before he wiped his tears away and sniffled. "I..." He paused, Wolf shook his head.
Forgot how cold he is...even when we're clo-
"I thought I lost you." Wolf rested his palm against the back of my head and ran his claws along my fur.
My blunderous baffoon self asked, "Why?" I rested the side of my head against his pounding chest.
Silence.
"Sorry." I tightened my grasp as our chest compressed.
Probably shitted on his day, great...
"Fox."
Oh fuck...My ears pinned to my head and I faced away for a moment before I stared up at him as our eyes locked and...he lifted me off of my feet while our noses brushed against each other until we embrace our lips.
An ecstatic, intoxicating sensation teemed within my wracked mind.
His sultry breath penetrated my muzzle and nestled within my lungs.
Wolf ran his claws against the back of my head exactly the way I loved it.
My shaft swelled and twitched against his stern chest. I can't help it, I moaned.
I latched onto him because I'll be damned if anyone harmed him ever again.
I've really missed this.
...I've really missed him...
And I almost lost him because of some random jackass.
I glanced over his shoulder.
"I'm not worried." Wolf nuzzled my nose with his.
"...Sure you don't want to wait?"
His heavy breath brushed against my fur. "Been waiting."
I chuckled before he wiped a strand of tear from my cheeks. "Oh...crap."
My feet touched the ground while he lowered me.
"Hm?"
"I look like an idiot." My wavering smile dimpled my burning cheeks, oh fuck, I covered my face and lowered my head while my ears pinned to it and my tail tucked between my legs.
Wolf bent his knees, our muzzles met and his damn breath caressed my fur.
He nudged my wrist and our eyes locked.
"That's what makes you cute."
He kissed me.
"Oh? So I'm dumb?" I raised a brow while his titillating breaths brushed against my fur.
I'll be damned, I can't get over his intoxicating breaths!
He grinned and bobbed his head side to side as he hummed.
A silver of his teeth peeked from his lips. "A little."
"So rude!" I jabbed his chest with my finger.
"It's what you get for loving the big bad wolf." He pulled me into his chest and I rested my head against it.
"Big bad wolf my ass!" I glided my hands down his back and squeezed his firm rump.
Wolf sunk his fangs into his teeth. His eye darted away while he chuckled.
"Later, foxy."
"I know, I know..." I stepped beside him but I held his hand as his enveloped mine and I have to say, it's like a teddy bear but rougher because of his paw pads.
And this is what I live for, if I woke up to him every day, I wouldn't give a shit how shitty it is. What? I'm a simple man who needed love...I mean, don't we all?
We wallowed in each other's warm present until our ride arrived.
. . .
We strolled out of the monorail station as the rain died down, stepped through the downtown, and headed into the... desolate park but at least we're beside each other.
Our footfalls rapped against the sidewalk.
I glanced at him and snickered because his unkempt fur stood out when he shook his body.
It's cute fluffed out but he looked like a hobo...an adorable one at that.
A grove of trees shrouded us while the droplets of rain on the leaves pattered against the ground. If it wasn't for the damn chilly air and frigid rain, I would've loved it: but I don't.
I scrunched up and shivered before I glanced at him while he crossed his arms with a blank expression, which I can't take my eyes off of.
"Hey," I said.
He blinked and stared at me when he snapped out of his daze.
"Didn't want to get food?"
Wolf shook his head.
"Why?"
"Rather cook ya something."
I cupped my hand on my chin. "Spaghetti?"
"How'd you know?" He turned to me.
I snickered.
"What?" He raised a brow.
"It's cute." I swayed my head side to side.
"Huh?"
"I find it cute how easy you read."I grinned. When it comes to food.
"Tchah, it's because I'm your favorite." Wolf smiled.
I swear, he's cheesy.
"Are we just...walking?" I shrugged.
"Kinda."
"What's that mean?"
Wolf shrugged because his sorry ass hid something from me.
We strolled up to a flight of stairs that lead up a steep hill.
I clicked my tongue. "Fuck."
Wolf blinked.
"Legs are killing me." They're not, but I'm so sick of walking!
He leaned back and scratched the tuft of fur on his chin. "Thought it's easier?"
I narrowed my eyes as I turned my head halfway to the side and raised a brow. "What is?"
"You know...?"
"I don't."
"EHHHHhhhhh." He clasped his lips and nudged his head towards the steps. "I'll carry ya."
"Na, tell me."
We stand in silence.
"Well?" I crossed my arms and tapped my boot against the floor.
"Promise to not be mad."
"Kinda too late." I grinned.
Wolf clicked his tongue.
"Just tell me."
No reply.
"Wolf."
He sighed. "Your boots."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Still hurts my thighs."
Silence.
Wolf slumped his shoulder and faced away while his ears pinned to his head. "Sorry."
"Hey, it's okay. I'm just fucking with ya." I reached for his shoulder and squeezed it.
"I know..."
I ran my hand along his muzzle and nudged it for him to turn to me. "Hey."
"Yeah?"
"I love you because you're an idiot." I snickered and my heart fluttered when he playfully smiled.
"I love you too."
We kissed before we strolled up the stairs with our fingers enlaced.
The trees cleared out as we ascended to the top.
My ears stood and eyes rounded when my dumb-ass realized where we are.
My baited breaths seared my aching lungs.
I grinned, my heart skipped as I squeezed his palm and edged myself closer.
My stupid smile dimpled my burning cheeks and my tail vigorously wagged while my mind teemed with ecstatic bliss. I cupped my hand over my lips.
We reached a flat platform with drenched railings before we stepped up to them and leaned on them as we basked in the soothing sunlight, which peeked through the grey clouds, while I studied the vista of the distant landscape.
To the north, Corneria city with all of its glory and achievements that stood tall and united against the war; to the west, the Academy where I found my true love; to the east, the pristine ocean that reflected his melancholy.
I shuddered when he snuggled against me and lapped his arm around me.
My ear flicked when his damp breath caressed against it and he whispered.
"You're the reason I've kept on going. When I was drowning, you were there for me."
Wolf kissed my forehead. "I held on because of you." He pulled me into his beating chest. "I never thought I'd be with someone as perfect as you." His sniffled.
"You're my sunshine, my reason to keep on, and my world."
Our eyes locked but his glistened; his voice ebbed.
"When I'm with you, I can be me, the real me."
"No armor, no shields, I can be vulnerable."
"And It's only with you because..."
"Fox, I..." He coughed. "I-I.."
"I love you and will you..."
He rummaged his pockets.
I gasped: frozen in place.
He pulled a box out.
Wolf opened it.
"Marry me."
Heartfelt, hypnotic adoration teemed within my mind; mended my soul.
My trembling body stumbled from the head rush of exhilarating adoration.
I panted while my heart pounded against my aching chest and yearned to touch his.
I covered my face with my wavering, sweaty palm while torrents of tears streamed down my cheeks before I tilted my spinning head back and sniffled until I removed my hand and gazed into his soft, lustrous eye despite my blurry vision; I smiled as wide as I could because I didn't give a fuck about how dumb I'd look.
He slipped the silver ring on my finger. I said yes. We embraced each other as we cuddled.
"I love you." I nuzzled the side of my head against his beating chest and held on tight.
"I love you too."
Author Notes: HISSSSSSSsssss, fluff, needs more angst and...and plot twist! Nah, I kid, this will be nothing but fluff and also...smut for its second chapter but this will be the only fluffy thing you'll get from me!