Disclaimer: Tis disclaimed.
Summary: And Naruto drew a heart on his wrist, imperfect and deformed and ugly, but in Sasuke's eyes, the message was clear.
Warning: UnSasuke like behaviour... kind of. I think it's a bit ooc. Otherwise, yaoi.
Pairing: SasukexNaruto, SasukexSakura

Something Like
i. control center

"Insolent. Stupid. Useless. Naive. Loud. Obnoxious. Crazy. Obsessive. Caring. Beautiful... compassionate, adorable."

Naming little faults, trying to convince himself that he made the right decision.

It's 12:01 a.m on the nose, and he's lying awake, chewing his nails to the meat, twitching just enough for it to be apparent, and his throat is so dry it would bleed sand if you slit it.

If you look down, nothing is really out of the ordinary.

But there's a heart in black ink on his left wrist, badly drawn and ugly, and it's slowly tearing him apart from the inside out with guilt. He deserves this.

Naruto drew it last night, when he told him he was marrying Sakura next Spring.

When he ripped out every last shard of security from him, piece by piece.

The Uchiha bloodline needs an heir. Needs to be rebuilt, reborn, to be the clan it once was. Only he can do that, and Naruto is no woman. He can't bear his children, give him the only thing that stands in their way.

He does not regret this.

He never thought it would turn out like this, he should have never cared. He knew what would happen a long time ago when they were children, he knew that if he opened up, it would be the end. He could never allow himself, forgive himself, if the Uchiha clan died out completely with him.

It would have been fine, his life would have worked out if it wasn't for Itachi. Sometimes, Sasuke likes to imagine the happiness that was so firmly in his hands. He could of had it all.

But now, Itachi is dead and gone, his presence never torturing Sasuke's soul again.

But last night, Sasuke did a bad thing.

He watched the only person he ever truly cared for walk out of his life.

With no... regrets.

Uchiha Sasuke is shopping for food. His refrigerator is bare. The last bit of something edible was a strawberry... and a cup of instant miso. Sasuke hates strawberries.

So he pushes the cart through the aisles, glaring down at the dirty tiled floor. His arm reaches out and swipes a few cans of vegetables in, wincing at the loud clunking sound. His sleeve is hiked up a little, exposing the heart he hasn't washed off yet.

Half of it is almost perfectly drawn, while the other side is bumpy with mistakes, crude and deformed. Sasuke turns away and keeps moving.

It's like a chore, moving his feet. Every step seems like mile when someone isn't there, pushing him on to get to the good things, like chips and candy and ra -

Sasuke frowns and shakes his head.

Fuck, I don't need this.

The Uchiha mansion is cold and lonely.

The antiques continue to collect dust, the floor has the same creak as it did when Sasuke was a child. He deposits the food on the overly large table, putting everything away.

With his mind unguardedly blank, visions from the previous night singed across his mind.

Naruto's livid, broken face.

Naruto's anger fading into shock.

Naruto slumping onto the living room floor, tears streaming out of his eyes and sobs wracking his body.

Naruto ripping off the ring on his finger and throwing it at him as he ran out the door.

Sasuke screams, punching the wall and efficiently breaking his hand in the process. Strangely the pain feels good, it lets him know he's really alive in this complete nightmare.

"Itachi! Itachi you fucking bastard! I'm going to dig up whats left of your corpse and piss on it!"

It isn't supposed to be funny, just nonsensical things Sasuke shouts, but he ends up laughing until he is crying, sliding down the wall into a puddle of himself, of his ruined life.

"Fuck."

He can't regret this decision. There needs to be Uchihas. Naruto will never be what Sasuke needs him to be. Besides, maybe this way, Naruto will find someone who can openly express their love for him, and not be afraid to throw any and everything away just to be with him.

And Sasuke will accept that. No really, he will. He won't hate the person who will capture Naruto's still raw heart ( unless it's Sai because he definitely already hates Sai ) or threaten them or anything.

Sasuke sighs and shakily stands, threading thin fingers into the midnight hair women and men alike swoon for. Wouldn't it be funny for everyone to know that he hasn't washed it in three or four days, the strands losing their usual beautiful shine and settling into a dull black. There's no point anymore.

If he closes his eyes, he can hear that loud, sharp voice cutting through his thoughts and demanding attention.

SAKURA! MARRY!? SASUKE YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE I DECIDED THAT, OH YEAH, I LOVED YOU!

Flash.

Naruto slamming a priceless antique at the wall, barely missing his head. The pieces flying in every direction, slicing shallowly through his cheek. The pain was welcome. He needed it.

I FUCKING HATE YOU UCHIHA SASUKE! I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET YOU EVER, EVER TOUCH ME! ALL YOU DO IS HURT PEOPLE, THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GODDAMN GOOD FOR! Quieter, chest rising and falling and bleeding and aching, Naruto whispered, never again.

Never again.

The date seemed to loom closer each time Sasuke had looked at the calender, and now it's finally here. The trees sway in a gentle motion, the sky free of clouds.

She is exceptionally lovely this day, with the soft caress of the sun extenuating her sharp features, glaring off her bright pink hair. She smiles at him warmly, and he can only nod. To her, this is the greatest moment of her life.

To Sasuke it is the worst.

Every boy in the village would be thrilled with Sakura for a bride. Lee is in the crowd, a small smile on his face. He's happy for her, even when she didn't pick him.

Sasuke feels like vomiting.

Sasuke can't meet his eyes.

Numbly, he stands there and listens to the minister speak the words he has been dreading.

"You may kiss the bride."

There is cheering and clapping when he carefully leans down and brushes his lips with hers, pretending that she is not really there, that she has whisker scars and wind chapped imperfect lips. But she doesn't, and he must learn to accept that.

"Uchiha Sasuke and Sakura."

Through the applause, Sasuke can hear it. Just a faint hitch in breathing, trivial to anyone else.

His heart is lying on the expensive red carpet, blood mixing with the velvet.

He caused this.

Blue eyes burn into his back, and as he turns, Sasuke catches the detached smile on Naruto's barely shaking lips. There is no happiness or joy within those intense eyes, nothing but disappointment and regret.

Regret.

Sasuke hates Sakura in that moment for rubbing this in, unintentionally or not. Naruto couldn't not come, they were best friends, right? Right...?

There is laughing and smiles all around, but Sasuke remains his stoic self, sitting and watching the party unfold. His friends, all coupled together and moving on with their lives dance and enjoy themselves. Kiba and Hinata, Neji and Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji.

They had a choice.

Sasuke swallows the sake bitterly.

The heart on his wrist bleeds black.

He will never wipe it off.

tbc.

: Stupid Sasuke. -sets him on fire- there we go.
Basically I wrote this because I wanted to write Sasuke shopping moodily. seriously. that's all.

ahah, random, ne?

I want to continue this, I even planned ahead! Sasuke living a lie with Sakura and such, but I'm not revealing anything... so you'll have to review if you want more? Yes!