Hi everyone! This is my second attempt at writing a multi-chapter story, but feel free to be harsh, just try to be smart about it. Fell free to say "your story sucks" or "this is terrible", just give a reason. And it's shounen-ai, boy love, don't like, don't read, don't review to tell me it's gross or whatever...if it's gross, why are you reading it?

As for updating, it really depends on my mood, but I generally do not update more than once a week, if that.

That's pretty much all...please review, I want toknow how you guys like it. Any suggestions are welcome. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Twilight series...this is only fan fiction. I'm not making any money sadly...could really use it for all the manga...

Kill me.

I had made the promise, hadn't I? To kill him when it was all over, when Bella finally died. I had promised and the event we had all feared had finally occurred. Bella, unable to withstand the rough pregnancy any longer, had been battered and bruised (however unintentionally), drained day by day of her life force, as the creature used it to grow, until she finally…she finally…

She finally died.

I shudder just thinking the words, nausea flooding my senses. Never again will her smile light up as I walk into the room, never again will I hear her voice, never again will I be temporarily relieved of the pain she has put me through since I first fell for her and realized she would never love me back the same way. It is permanent now. I feel frozen, absolutely stiff, dead, and cold despite the fact that I still must, in reality, have a body temperature of 109.8 °F, as usual, but it sure as hell does not feel like it.

My state isn't helped by the fact that he's there, crumpled on the ground in front of me, head buried in his arms, asking…no…begging for me to kill him. At any other time I would have leapt at the chance to destroy the one who had stolen my Bella's heart, or any of his family of vampires that I so deeply disliked. Yes, disliked, such a weak, word is used for a reason. After working with them for several weeks, and growing to tolerate them, I can no longer truly say I hate any of them. Loathed, despised,andhated: they are all words of the past.

But maybe I should hate him, this one in front of me, because it is entirely his fault that she died; he was the one to implant the hideous murderous spawn inside her. The vile creature that grew up to be her killer. Even if it died after birth, too malnourished and undeveloped to survive.

However, I can't find it in myself to hate even him, the catalyst behind her death. Perhaps it's because he looks so broken, sobbing, entire body shaking, though there are no tears because vampires can not cry. How strange, how freakishly alien...though I can't find it in myself to give the concept more than a moment's thought at this point. But again and again, he repeats those words—kill me, kill me—like a possessed being intent and thinking only of death.

His family is still inside, frozen by shock, trying all they can to think of a way to bring Bella back, but there is none; the venom had not spread fast enough to save her. They will be out here soon though, to stop any intervention on my part, to stop Edward from doing what they all know he will do. A suicidal immortal. How ironic.

But what to do. I should kill him, for all he's done, but…Bella wouldn't want him to die. Of course, she would never have wanted him to suffer either, as he surely must be now. If I feel this bad, it is more than likely he feels ten times worse, if such a degree of emotional pain is even possible. What would Bella have wanted? I don't know, I can't think straight. Too much is happening at once.

Maybe I should let him live. Just for now, just until I have time to think this over, time to decide his fate. I can always kill him later but…what if killing him would go against Bella's wishes? It doesn't really matter now. She's dead, sent to heaven by his and her monstrous offspring. But the dead can't be brought back to life. She'll never be among us again, and, if I kill him now, neither will he.

It's quite likely this will be my only chance, though. There's no doubt in my mind that the rest of his family will try to stop his suicide attempts. I may never get another opportunity, and her murder will be left unavenged. But he didn't know…he hadn't known when he had…that she would…that she would die. But does that make him innocent? Does that mean he should be able to live? I can't decide…I can't…

He's looking at me now, gazing at me with those mad shadowy eyes, the bags under them so dark he could have just been socked in both a few hours previously. "Why won't you kill me?" he asks, voice broken and shaky in so many places. I remember when he used to be so calm and composed. That façade is long gone, replaced by this burning, deranged creature, only wishing for death. He must not have been lying when he said how much she meant to him.

And he pauses for a minute, before gasping out, the pain in his voice so clear, yet no match for that in his eyes. "She would want me to die, Jacob…she wouldn't have wanted me to live on like this. She wouldn't have wanted me to suffer…such torment…" He trails off, staring at me, pleading with me to understand. "I know you want your revenge, Jacob, so kill me. Kill me, please. I'm begging you. Please."

Leaving him alive, though, would be a better punishment, I finally realize. His family will restrain him. He won't be able to runoff to the Volturi. Not like last time. This time he will have to suffer and pay for what he's done, what he's taken from the both of us. Eternal life would be a fate far worse than death…

"I know," he admits, the agony and desperation lacing those two words so great it's a wonder he does not die there and then of the pain, despite his immortality. It would be cruelty to leave him like this, complete wickedness. He must be suffering so greatly so deeply, worse than even I am. Maybe I really should put him out of his misery now, quickly, before he is condemned to perpetual damnation. As a last favor to Bella…as a last, and only, kind act towards the creature she had fallen so irrevocably and profoundly in love with. "Yes…please, Jacob, please…for her…" and I'm almost convinced, shifting to my wolf form, readying myself to strike…moving forward, teeth barred…

But my attack is intercepted by the big vampire, Emmett, as he deflects my assault. I fall back, still, glazed, watching as Esme wraps her arms around Edward and holds him to her, stroking his hair and trying to calm him though he continues to sob without tears, screaming incoherently. He tries to break away, and he does, pushing away from Esme, making a run for it, and I have half a mind to run with him and help him escape to the Volturi, his only remaining option.

But Carlisle catches him by the wrist, and Emmett is there soon after with Jasper, holding him, stopping his flight. Yet, he keeps struggling, trying to break free, pleading them to just let him go, let him die. And still he is restrained by the three, Alice, Rosalie, Esme, and I watching on in dumbfounded horror, as he doesn't give up, even under the impossible restraints. He's begging them now, asking for them to kill him, please, because they know that he's suffering, and do they want that?

Carlisle would be crying also, if vampires could do so, but he's shaking his head, and speaking to Edward in that soft gentle voice of his, trying to reason with him, trying to calm him down. And Jasper is frowning in concentration, trying to calm the frenzy of Edward's agony, struggling against the overwhelming force.

Eventually, he wins out, and Edward falls to the ground, tired, defeated, weary, and exhausted. They're all huddled around him now, trying to hug him, or speak with him, or offer any reassurance, any comfort that they can, though Jasper is slightly off to the side, silently contributing to the effort.

I watch dully, like I'm watching a movie or something, not seeing this happen with my own two eyes. Strangely detached, and alienated in this close-knit group. Minutes pass, hours maybe even, and still Edward is not placated. He's been torn up and mutilated to shreds, and the pieces will most likely never be placed back together. The pity I feel is almost tangible, and I find myself wishing I had killed him, because I understand how much he must hurt, and I know how maddening it must feel. But I missed my chance. I missed my chance, and now he has been damned to eternal hell: life without Bella, the love of his life, soul, and heart.

Leah and Seth show up sometime later, both in wolf form, nuzzling against me, even Leah, asking with their thoughts if I'm ok, though I know they know the answer. Seth is in pain too, Bella having been a friend of his as well. But perhaps greater is the sympathy and worry he feels for both me and Edward, his longing to help, and the secondhand hurt of the magnitude of our agony. Leah is blank, on the other hand, just blank and oddly indifferent, though I get the slight feel of remorse from her, knowing how dear Bella was to me, despite her dislike for the girl. With her and Sam and Emily…she must understand to some extent.

The vampires are moving now, carrying Edward inside, though I can't tell who is holding him exactly, or how he's doing. Tears are beginning to cloud my vision, and all I can make out are blurs of color as the sky darkens. Never again will Bella be among us, never again…

It hurts so bad to think such things. To think Edward is hurting worse than I am is frightening. And I've robbed him of his only escape, forever maybe. Until his family finally gives in, or are somehow unable to stop him, so he can make it to the Volturi without being intercepted. Or if, by some rare circumstance, I get the opportunity to kill him. I'm sorry to have broken my promise, and the guilt is almost unbearable as it amounts. Seth whines at my train of thoughts, afraid and sad, but understanding all the same. And Leah remains unaffected, staring out at the trees, still.

Wanting to spare Seth the pain of my depression and any horrid nightmares I might have, I switch back into my human form, before curling up against the house, an uncomfortable position as a human, and closing my eyes. I try to sleep, and recommend that Seth does as well, after Leah agrees to run the border for the two of us.

Seth is out like a light; his breathing soft as his fur-covered form rises and falls steadily with each breath in and out. Sighing to myself, I get as comfortable as I can before putting my gift of quick sleep to use. This, in all my years, is the first time it has ever failed me; it takes several hours for me to finally drift off into the realm of unconsciousness.