A/N: Finally, I return with something. I never seem to upload new chapters, so I decided to try something different. This new story is set in the Pokémon universe, but uses original characters (aside from Pokémon or course), only referencing existing ones. I am also writing it with my brother, who I will have use italicized text in these notes. I also plan to include "bloopers" at the end of each chapter using scrapped ideas that my brother and I thought were funny.

hello im a brother am happy 2 b hear

And that is all he has to say apparently. With the horrendous grammar intact...

Feel free to send a PM with any questions/suggestions, but note who you are asking the question to at the start; I can relay any questions to my brother if needed. Reviews are appreciated as always.

(approx 1630 words long without A/N)

CHAPTER 1
ARival in Alola

"Even before we got to the docks, I could detect the scent of freshly baked confectionery, wafting over the great blue sea, all the way onto the deck of the ship on which we are travelling to these strange islands... "

"Alright, looks like we're finally getting close to land," I noted. "But Kirlia, could you please stop narrating everything? That's supposed to be my job..."

"What do you mean?" Kirlia retorted.

"Nevermind." I looked off the side of the boat at the rippling water below. "I wonder what we should do when we get to the po-"

"Food!"

"Kirlia, I know you like food, but it might be better to check in at our hotel first."

"It's never a bad time for food. We should get a sample of the local cuisine!" Kirlia pulled out a brochure. "I've actually researched this quite a bit. There should be some stores that interest you as well…"

I sighed. "I'll think about it, but I'm not making any promises."

Kirlia has always been like this, ever since I met him as a little Ralts on a family trip to White Forest. Supposedly, he was abandoned while young, since when I gave him one of the pieces of jelly-filled donuts I had, he started following me around and trying to get more food from me. We've been friends ever since, but he acquired a strong passion for food, especially sweets. I kind of wish I had stopped him from developing such a problem, but I just found it so cute when he nibbled on the snacks I gave him.

"Hey~! Can I have some candy?" Kirlia "asked", before reaching into my bag and grabbing some sweets.

"Sigh..." I said out loud, to further express my exasperation and the futility of trying to fight black. I am rather glad that we'll be getting to the shore soon…...

"Now how did we end up here…" I pondered questioningly, looking around at my surroundings, realizing Kirlia and I were in a caffé of some sport.

"No one can resist my cute charm!" Kirlia responded.

"I know I like cute things, but your ability is Telepathy, is it not?"

"I don't feel like answering that question."

This happens sometimes, I've realized. If I find something especially cute, I tend to fall into some sort of trance. I've asked people who've seen me about it, but I never get a straight answer about it. All I know is that i randomly wake up in strange places. It's been a bit of a problem on occasions.

"So, how many of those things did you order, exactly?" I asked Kirlia, noticing a stack of plates on our table.

"Um," Kirlia paused, "ten?"

"I'm not quite sure I believe that…" seeing that there are definitely more than ten plates on the stack.

"Miss, is everything all right? Your Kirlia has eaten quite a lot…" a waitress asked in a concerned tone after arriving at the table.

"Yeah, he does this a lot…" I explained, "he should be fine though. I sometimes honestly wonder if he was a Snorlax in a previous life or something; it might explain the amount of food he eats…"

"I wish you the best of luck…" I could have sworn I saw a pitiful expression on the waitress' face as she walked off. I don't have too much of a problem with it, though, since I have the money to pay for all the food he eats.

After paying for the food, I noticed a poster on the wall by the door announcing a Pokemon battling club.

Pokemon Battling Club

Meet at the field east of the Pokemon School

each Saturday at noon for fun battles with other trainers!

Newcomers welcome!

-Prof. Kukui

"Hey, that looks interesting, why don't we check it out?" I asked Kirlia.

"Why not, it's not like we have anything planned," he responded.

"Let's head over there now. It's already started, but we should be able to make it there before it's over."

We quickly ran over to the location using a map I brought.

As Kirlia and I arrived at the specified location, we noticed a battle about to start, and decided to watch.

"Ugh… Go! Golbat! Counting on you!" A guy about my age sent out a Golbat. "Use Poison Fang on Pawniard!"

I held my face in my hand as Golbat tried to sink its fangs into its steel-typed opponent. The Pawniard, unfazed, headbutted Golbat. It and its trainer laughed.

"Is that all you've got?" the other trainer called out.

The first one grunted. "We can't let him win this time. Go! Wing attack!"

"Nice try! Go, Pawniard! Counter with Fury Cutter!"

I covered Kirlia's eyes and ears, so he wouldn't have to witness such a disgrace.

Eventually, the Golbat lay on the ground defeated. The Pawniard continued to strike it mercilessly, until its trainer ran over, kicked it away, and cradled the golbat in his arms, glaring at the two.

"You were foolish to think you so much as had a chance to beat me. Even if you had actually tried!" The rude trainer remarked. For some reason, I just really wanted to punch this guy in the face…

"B-b-but… I did try…" the other trainer replied.

"Hey, you!" I called out, confronting the guy.

He turned around, frowning. "Autographs later. I'm a bit busy at the moment.

"Why would I want your autograph, you piece of-"

"Now, now, if you want a picture instead that's fine. But you'll have to wait, ok?"

"I really hate people like you, you know that? No respect for other people's Pokémon, and you use Dark types on top of that…" Kirlia glared at the Pawniard.

"Ha ha ha!" He returned Pawniard to its Poké Ball. "Your sarcasm is amazing."

I could feel my inner rage building fast. "How can you be so oblivious? And in that horrendous outfit…"

"It is rather tacky, isn't it? And yet, as you've noticed, I'm still able to pull it off. That is just how fabulous I am. I get all the ladies."

"You're wearing a giant slice of bread…"

"Or so. You. THINK." He ripped off the glutinous monstrosity to reveal another outfit so hideous and disturbing, I have decided to spare you the suffering that comes with knowing the details. Yet, most of the audience swooned, even some of the guys…

I felt like my mind went blank for a second before coming to a decision on what to do next. "You have proven yourself to be a menace to this society[1]! Prepare to witness my true power in fated combat[2]!"

"Not this again…" Kirlia sighed, preparing for battle.

The *******'s eyes lit up. "A battle? So these people can continue to witness my amazing battling skills in a battle? You're on! Sableye, do your thing!"

"Kirlia, come forth and demonstrate your ultimate prowess!" I threw Kirlia at the gleamy-eyed life-form.

"Sigh…" Kirlia said as he teleported to catch himself, ending up in front of me on the battlefield.

The other trainer called from the distance, "Use Psyshock! Then follow it up with Tackle!"

"I'd tell him that neither of those moves will have an effect and I don't use them anyway, but it'll just sound like 'Kirlia Kirlia' to him. Or something like that." Kirlia sighed again.

"Kirlia," I announced, "Pass through the void and ambush the enemy!"

"Sableye! Find out what she means by-" The ********* tried to utter.

But before "it" could finish its pathetic utterance, Kirlia had teleported behind the ENEMY [3]. "I am sorry for my partner's 'intensity'..." Kirlia quickly said to the shadowy imp [3] before landing a Fire Punch to the back of its head. It was over before it could react. Or so I thought…

"UM, I DON'T THINK SO HONEY." Without returning the nearly defeated thing [3], Zander grasped his other Poké Ball and sent out the knock-off sentient knife [5] from before.

"So you're going to play like that, are you?" I asked rhetorically. "Kirlia, show them the forbidden move!" Kirlia showed them the forbidden move.

Kirlia then said to the spiky object [5], which seemed to be blushing somehow, "By the way, I'm male." The walking chess piece [5] then fainted. The long-eared, big-headed, no-nose creep [3] fainted as well due to its burn.

"Pawniard! Sableye! Why did you guys go easy on her?" he growled as he returned them to their balls.

"Oh, look, the obnoxious guy's in doubt. That must've been a blow to his pride. Or not. That human seems to have enough for the whole region…" Kirlia mentioned to no one in particular.

I… I had a sudden feeling like waking up from something. I looked around...

"How could she just beat Mr. Xander like that!?" a bystander cried in utter shock.

"Don't look, my offspring, that is a weird person," a mother warned, covering the eyes of her children and glaring in my direction.

The rest of the onlookers (that is, the ones who hadn't fainted earlier) were speechless.

"Not that again…" I muttered to myself. Having summed up the situation, I covered my face with my hands in embarrassment, then ran off in a direction that I hoped was toward the hotel I would be staying at.

"Hey, wait for me!" Kirlia called out, running after me.

This was not how I intended for my vacation to start. Hopefully tomorrow will be better...

BLOOPER SCENE

...The rest of the onlookers (that is, the ones who hadn't fainted earlier) were speechless.

"Not that again…" I muttered to myself. Having summed up the situation, I covered my face with my hams in embarrassment, then ran off in a direction that I hoped was toward the hotel I would be staying at.

"Uh, where did you get those haaaams?" Kirlia asked.

I stopped. "I don't know..."