This was just a little idea that I had today. Hope you like it
I do not own the Mighty Boosh.
When people look at us, they don't know. I don't blame them. After all, we aren't the best suited of pairs, to the casual onlooker at least. They see the odd looking couple – one young, fashionable and gorgeous, one an old buffoon who should be wise enough to know better but somehow isn't. I can see what they are thinking, because I often catch myself thinking it too, why would one so young and full of life; more interested in the latest shade of make up than the dull pedantry of my world; even look twice at me. Our clothes are different, our interests, our entire worlds could not be further apart. But a small sly hand slips into mine and we share a secret smile and then I know.
As we walk together down the street, followed by admirers, sometimes even the press, I am never the centre of attention, never even a blip on the radar of those who come to bask in the reflected glory seems to always shine from my love, nor would I want to be. My love adores the attention – dressing in ever tighter, more revealing Lycra and rubber clothes, ridiculous jump suits, to court the attention of those fools. Sometimes it makes me proud beyond measure, and sometimes it makes me just want to shout at them all to leave us alone, to put my hand over the lenses of their cameras. And yet, if ever I feel sidelined or neglected, I notice one pair of eyes on me, the only pair that matters and then I know.
My friends, if you can call them that, the few people I associate with, think that I'm an idiot, and that I have fallen in love with a stupid, vain clothes horse. But they don't know, they don't see the real me, the me that is reserved for when we are alone, just us together and I can relax, slipping off my cloak of pride and pomposity. They don't see the fun, the innocent playfulness that I do. And as for stupid, my love is more than a match for me, tying me up in verbal knots until there are no more words and nothing left but to fall into each other's arms. And then, then I know.
Yes, I know that sometimes I can be jealous, wanting to hide my treasure away like a foolish king hoards his gold but that is only because I don't know what I did to deserve such a prize. Sometimes I wake in the middle of the night, breathing heavily from a nightmare that my love has been taken from me or worse, has gone willingly. But before I get a chance to reflect on my fears, I am enveloped in warm arms and words of comfort are whispered in my ear from sleep-weighted lips and I can relax into the embrace of my love, able to forget that I have worries and concerns that would break a normal man - until the morning at least - and then I know.
And besides, jealousy is not an emotion reserved only for me. I have seen the green fire flash across my love's face on the rare occasions that someone shows an interest in me. I see the look that I know means that the fool who dared to talk to me is in severe danger of having their face ripped off, or be beaten to death with a stiletto. But it is painted over in a second with a fake smile, so quickly I almost think I imagine it. But I didn't imagine it because in those seconds, I know.
When I hear my name gasped in a breathless whisper, so full of desperation and wanting. When I put my arms around the slim waist, revel in the androgynous curves and press my lips to the ones that fit mine perfectly. When I feel the trembling of desire rippling through both of us. When I feel my love's lithe body moving against mine as though we were two halves of the same whole, then I know.
Yes, all these times, and more besides, I know, more than I know why the sun rises every day into the sky, why I married an extreme sports calendar model.
There you go, it was none other than the Head Shaman, Dennis himself. I was watching the Party episode for the gazillionth time and I just suddenly started thinking about what an interesting couple they were and how they reminded me a bit of Vince and Howard. Plus I just love the way Methuselah says, 'Oh Dennis'
I truly cant tell if this is terrible or not, so please review and let me know what you think.