A/N: This just came out of me on a rainy day. It contains femslash and mentions "deviant" sexual practices (e.g., BDSM, multiple partners) in one line of dialogue. You've been warned.
Now that I've got you intrigued, enjoy. ;)
Nothing Unusual
=A=
She comes to Janeway's quarters late one night, brain tangled up in questions about human nature. That's not unusual.
Very little seems unusual at this point, at any rate; Seven is brimming with curiosity lately and has relentlessly pursued several taboo subjects with the crew, searching for explanations. Janeway attributes it all to her lessons with the Doctor—these subsequent questions are just a harmless (albeit slightly uncomfortable) side effect that forces everyone to reexamine the way they look at a few things.
So when Janeway calls a visitor into her quarters, she's not altogether surprised to note that it's Seven, and she's clearly perplexed. The ex-Borg simply takes a step and stands just inside the door, hands at her sides.
When the tall blond doesn't immediately and directly state the nature of her business, as is her habit, Janeway gracefully steps in to fill the silence. This is probably going to be another long discussion, and she wants some sleep. The reports don't do themselves and her coffee is getting low.
"Something to discuss, Seven?" She's not brusque, but upfront.
Seven shifts restlessly and looks at her superior with some uncertainty, brow furrowed as she tries to process something Janeway doesn't understand. But she makes the decision to share, briefly glancing away at the stars as the words spill out.
"I have a question."
And there is nothing unusual about that.
"Fire away."
The tall blonde takes a deep breath, swallows, and makes direct eye contact, true to form as ever.
"I have a question about human sexual ethics," she clarifies.
Janeway's recently-sipped coffee almost escapes her mouth as a cough rises. She gulps it painfully back down and manages to choke out a response.
"What on Earth is the Doctor teaching you?"
Her cheeks color slightly. "I apologize if this topic is inappropriate…"
Janeway has to smile now—Seven has done so many inappropriate things that it's almost a regular source of comedy on the ship. They can just add this one to the list.
She sets her coffee down on the table and walks over to Seven, laying a gentle hand on the younger woman's shoulder.
"No—please, let's sit down for this particular subject, Seven." The Captain heads to the couch and Seven pauses for a moment before following suit, settling down next to Janeway. The older woman chuckles quietly as they sit. "Next time, give the other party a bit of warning before you launch into a question about sex, Seven." A crooked smile crosses her face before she turns serious once more. "Well, I'll do what I can to answer your question. What exactly is it you want to know?"
"The Doctor and I have been discussing dating and sexual relations over the past four days, and I have been contemplating the rules of sexual expression."
Janeway is unaware that there are specific "rules" for these things, but supposes that they refer to norms. She hopes they refer to norms.
Still in the dark about where this is going, she nods for Seven to continue.
"We have discussed consent, rape, the characteristics of a potential partner, sadomasochism, bondage, domination, sexual communication, multiple partners—"
"The point being?" Janeway is a bit impatient to get to the bottom of this laundry list for the sake of sleep. And mildly disturbed at the thought of the Doctor and Seven having this conversation.
Seven's jaw tightens and a vein pulses in her neck. "The point being that despite my knowledge of such topics, I am…inexperienced."
Well. The Captain chooses to remain silent and wait for Seven to explain. Obviously, this fact of her existence has caused her some issue that she feels she cannot share with the Doctor, and although Janeway hardly feels ready to have this potential discussion, she will if it's what Seven needs.
Seven's eyes gaze directly into hers, piercing in their intensity. She elaborates slowly.
"I am aware that it is improper for there to be…sexual conduct between officers…"
The calculated way in which the ex-Borg speaks causes the older woman's intuition to buzz quietly. Something is not as it seems here.
"…and that you are also one of my primary mentors…"
A slow burn steals across the bottom of Janeway's stomach at the word you.
Is this really happening?
"…I know you are older…"
It is.
Suddenly Janeway is very aware of the darkness in her quarters and the small distance between herself and the other woman. Seven's eyes remain clear as she speaks carefully, deliberately.
"…but I was informed that occasionally, those who are inexperienced may ask someone close to them to serve as a teacher…and so my question is..."
She swallows her anxiety, then proceeds softly, almost breathlessly.
"...would be it be completely unethical…"
Janeway cannot breathe.
"…to ask you?"
The Captain is silent for what seems like an eternity, disbelief clouding her thoughts. Her gaze stays rooted on Seven. Eventually, she notices that one question persists above the others, and it is much easier to ask that question than answer the actual question.
"Why a woman, Seven?"
The ex-Borg sighs and places her hands on her knees, looking down at the floor. "I do not know. I do not even know what the nature of my relationship is with you. Sometimes our interactions feel…"
She searches for the right word, but Janeway completes the thought for her.
"Intimate?"
Seven's eyes meet Janeway's. "Yes."
Janeway nods. "I've felt that too."
A feeling of shame finally settles in her chest, heavier than the silence hanging in the air. As the superior officer, she now feels obligated to admit her error in potentially leading the younger woman astray and causing this embarrassing situation.
"Seven, I want to apologize if I ever gave you the wrong impression, or engaged in conduct unbecoming—"
"Do not apologize."
Janeway continues, undeterred by Seven's blunt interjection. "Some of the liberties I've taken with you are entirely outside the scope of my duties, and I know this. It's inappropriate."
"It is natural," Seven counters, equally stubborn. "It is also not your fault."
An impasse.
There is a strange feeling exploding inside of Janeway's chest—her private longing for this moment reacting violently with the sheer impossibility of their circumstances. The woman beside her is beautiful, willing, and completely unattainable. Anguish slides down her throat, choking her.
And yet the question still has not been answered. Is it unethical?
The silence begs for an answer. Janeway feels it being ripped from the abyss in her chest, painful in its consequences.
Yes.
The tension snaps as she watches Seven's even, deep breaths, and it's with full consciousness of her actions that she moves closer to the ex-Borg. There can be no mistake about her intentions.
Seven watches, waiting. Their eyes lock in a silent communication of trust, honesty...and suddenly morality slips away like sand off a rock.
Janeway will not withhold this from Seven. It cannot continue, but for this one time...
The Captain's hands express their meaning softly, lightly—she is conscious of Seven's inexperience. She too doesn't quite know what she's doing, but discovers that she doesn't need to have all the answers. There is something instinctive, something natural about the way she touches Seven of Nine.
Her fingers carefully take Seven's hair down, trace her jawline, feel her lips, softly trail down her neck. Her eyes are open, accepting. She takes in everything Seven has to offer.
Seven's own inherent biological instincts become her guide as she fluidly pulls the Captain astride her body. Janeway smirks just a little.
"I thought I was the one in control here," she murmurs, looking down at the fascination in Seven's face. "And are we in a hurry?"
She could swear that the younger woman's eyes twinkle in response.
Janeway's grin widens, and then she sobers. "I'm going to kiss you, Seven."
As she leans in gently and skin meets, Seven relaxes into the movement of their lips, and her hands finally find Janeway's back. She has not known the feel of another person like this, in such an intimate situation, and finds the physical proximity both comforting and exciting. Her hands cascade across the unknown surfaces of Janeway's body in an act of curiosity and simple love.
When she feels the Captain's tongue enter her mouth, there is a flutter of intense feeling in her abdomen. With some effort she identifies it as desire. It feels good; it is powerful and...hungry. Dangerous.
Janeway breaks the kiss slowly, keeping her lips next to Seven's ear and her voice just a whisper in the dark.
"One time, Seven…"
The warmth of her breath on Seven's ear sends up a feeling so intense that Seven trembles involuntarily and cannot order her thoughts coherently for several seconds. This scares her for a moment, and she is about to demand an explanation when Janeway's voice comes softly back to her, both reassuring and seductive.
"Trust me."
Seven does so at her command, without hesitation, like she has done so many times in the line of duty. She surrenders completely to the Captain because, somewhere, she knows that she will never experience anything like this again on Voyager.
This is highly unusual.
A/N2: I am just on a ROLL with J/7 lately! Reviews highly appreciated, as usual.
Couldn't continue without getting into an M rating there, so I cut it off. :)