Your name is Dave Strider and this game is bullshit. Jaw clenched, you slowly insert your last 50 cents into the slots' black holes, your right hand numb from how hard you've been squeezing this goddamn joystick.

It's like the stick was some kind of poisonous snake that tried to bite you, but of course you're not having that, so you strangle that dirty bastard until it coughs up the prize you so rightfully deserve. You have persevered! Nothing can stop you now, not even the dorky store manager asking you to leave. Like heck you'll leave! Just one more try, this time you'll snatch that bugger for sure! You lean in.

The clock is ticking down, only 18 seconds left. The claw slowly swings out as you push the joystick up, then down, a bit to the right. A quick glance tells you the alignment is perfect. There's no stopping this bitch now, oh no. You take one last look, your thumb hovering over that red button like a bomb over Hiroshima. Shit, whatever. You press that button.

The claw slowly descends over the small, yellow, plush toy. It clenches that squishy salamander thing and rises up. Your heart starts pounding as you literally smash your face against the machine, waiting for the toy to fall into the winners box. It's inches forward, but the little rascal keeps slipping further and further out of the metallic claw. The great trapper stops, swinging precariously. You hold your breath as the toy springs free. It does a fucking 10 point pirouette off the chute wall and face plants right back into that fluffy mess.

"..." You stare at the yellow sadist with hate until the store manager forces you to leave. You push through the glass double doors silently, rain splashing against your Gorillaz tee and soaking you in minutes. The rainy March weather wouldn't normally bother you, but at the moment it happens to be setting the perfect mood for a downhearted teen trudging back to his shared apartment after a less than decent go at some shitty arcade games.

The world just love's to screw with you, doesn't it? Everyone just wants to see you squirm.

You slam the door to your flat when you arrive, kicking off your ratty sneakers and removing your top before you even make it to your room. Not like he'd care anyway. By 'he' you mean your Bro. He's a pretty cool guy, but most of the time, like now, he's out picking up girls at the pub. It's been this way for as long as you can remember, which means you're used to it.

Once in your room you change into pajama pants and a tank top and settle into your computer chair for some hardcore pestering. Your chum handle is turntechGodhead, and you tend to type in a very laid back way. At the moment no one is on, but that doesn't mean you can't bug people. You open up a chat with a random guy from the troll slum, gallowsCalibrator. You've never talked to any of the 'trolls' purposefully before, but you figure a few stabs in the right direction might keep that carcinoGeneticist douche away.

- turntechGodhead [TG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 21:03 -

TG: sup

TG: ok lets cut to the chase here

TG: i dont want any shit with you guys so why dont we just be friends or something

TG: sound good

- gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:25 –

GC: H3Y, 4R3 YOU SOM3 K1ND OF COOL K1D?

TG: what?

GC: 4R3 YOU ON3 OF THOS3 GUYS WHO GO3S 4ROUND PL4Y1NG K1DS G4M3S 4T 4RC4D3S 4ND LOS3S FOR TH3 S4K3 OF 1RONY?

TG: are you some kind of psychic?

TG: this is like crazy right now

TG: its almost like

TG: i give a shit what you think

GC: 1 TH1NK YOUR3 B31NG 4 SM4RT4SS, M1ST3R COOL K1D :]

TG: oh yeah

GC: Y34H

TG: well i think youre right

TG: congrats dude, you won the prize for making me not care

TG: i knew this was a stupid idea

TG: see ya

GC: L13S

TG: come again?

GC: TH4T 1S 4 L13, YOU DO C4R3

GC: 1 C4N SM3LL TH3 D3C13T L1K3 TH3 L4M3 4TT3MPT YOU M4D3 4T TROLL1NG M3 JUST TH3N

TG: seriously?

GC: Y3S. 1T ST1NKS D4V3

TG: how do you know my name

GC: TH3 L13S YOU SP3W ST1NK 4ND 1 W1LL FOLLOW TH31R SC3NT UNT1L 1 F1ND YOU :]

TG: okay then

TG: im just gonna go block you now

TG: bye

GC: YOU WONT BLOCK M3 D4V3

GC: 1 KNOW YOU WONT

GC: BY3 BY3 ;]

- gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] at 1:11 -