NOTE!: Hey guys, been a long time. What the hell am I doing writing a new story when I haven't finished my old ones? Selective writers' block, apparently. Sorry. I'll finish the old ones eventually. Anyways, fangs (geddit? Cuz I'm funny?) to everyone who ever reads what I put down on here, even if you don't like it. I appreciate it. I really do. Gimme some reviews so I knows how I did, okay? Anyhoo! On with the show~
Dethklok played a brutal show, everyone agreed. Sure, there were plenty of deaths, but there always were, and it was brutal. Brutal was good.
The band was hanging out backstage for a little while, but they were nearly done. Nathan wiped his makeup off on a towel and threw it at Murderface. "Okay, I think we're done here," he said.
Just as he said that, a figure came into view. "Oh jeez," Pickles said. "Crazed fan alert." He looked at the person who had just showed up. "What d'you want, kid?" he asked.
The kid stumbled towards them, groaning, mouth gaping.
"I thinks it's some kinds of retards," Skwisgaar said.
"Aw shit, that means we gotta be nice to it," Nathan said. He glared at the kid. "Uh… hi… guy," he said. "You're getting a little too close there… what the FUCK?!" he yelled. He stared at the kid in disbelief. His cheek hurt like a motherfucker and the kid was just standing there with his mouth all bloody.
"Dids you see thats?" Toki said. "The retards bit Nathans! Wowee!" He blinked. "Oh, hey, it's comings this ways." Then he screamed as the kid bit into his arm. "No! That's not funnys!"
"Well, somebody kill the damn thing!" Pickles said, pushing Skwisgaar in the kid's general direction.
"Stops that!" Skwisgaar said, but he was already in motion and fell near the hungry kid. "Oh, shits," he said. "I hates you, Pickle," he said as the kid dug into the flesh near the base of his neck.
Murderface started running towards the kid, knife in hand, but Pickles was running too. Pickles tripped over Murderface's foot, twisted in mid fall, and landed butt-first on the kid's face. "Shit," he said. "This won't end well." He tried to stand up, but the kid started gnawing on his ass cheek.
"That'sh enough!" Murderface said, pushing Pickles away from the kid. He pinned the kid down and started stabbing him in the chest repeatedly. The kid groaned and managed to get up and bite Murderface in the leg. Murderface promptly stood up and started stomping on the kid's head with the uninjured one.
When the kid's head was reduced to a gory pulp, Murderface stepped back. Nathan stood up. "What the hell was that?" he said, gritting his teeth, which were also visible through the bloody hole in his cheek. "What the HELL was THAT?" He clenched his fists.
"Zombies, dude," Pickles said, twisting around, trying to inspect his butt. "Kid had to be a zombie. Damn retarded dead guys, come around and chomp on ya. He got my butt. That sucks."
"Well, that'sh jusht great! Sho what now?" Murderface asked with a sneer.
Pickles shrugged. "Ask the robot, I guess," he said. "He'll probably know something. He is the robot."
"Okay, what happened?" Charles asked.
"A retards bites us and it hurts," Toki said. "Look. There's bloods all over me. It's brutal." He made a face. "No, it sucks and I hates it."
"Stops beings a baby, Tokis," Skwisgaar said.
"Fucks you, Skwisgaars," Toki said.
"I need new pants," Pickles said, and left to go grab some.
"I don't think I'm quite getting what happened here," Charles said. "Someone… bit you?"
Nathan stared. "Uh, yeah."
"Yeah, it was a zombie," Pickles said, returning clad in an intact pair of pants, although blood was seeping through the back on the left side. "They're the ones who just start chompin' ya."
"Whats about vampires?" Toki said, waving his uninjured arm around. "They bites ya too!"
"No, they got fangsh," Murderface said, crossing his arms. "Wait, who caresh, anyway? We're fucking bleeding!"
"Uh, guys? I'm gonna hur—" Nathan started, then started to puke blood. The others followed suit.
"Wowee!" Toki said. "Blood puke time fives! That's one that should also bes a songs." He nodded and wiped his face with the back of his hand.
"That's it," Charles said, looking at his blood puke-covered shoes. "You're all going to the doctor."
"This is fascinating!" said the new doctor, a rather nondescript 30-something man in a white lab coat. "I've never seen anything like this before!"
Nathan glared at the doctor. "Just tell us what's going to happen!" he said.
The doctor cringed. "Well, it seems that who or whatever bit you has… infected you somehow."
Murderface stared at the doctor. "Well, that'sh jusht great! Tell ush how to fix it!"
"You… uh… you don't," the doctor said. "You're all going to die."
The room fell silent.
"Um… sorry," the doctor said.
"I don'ts want to hamburger time!" Toki said, eyes wide.
"You… uh… you can't fix it?" Pickles said.
"Dildo," Skwisgaar muttered.
"Sorry!" the doctor said. "We just can't. We don't know what this is; it's never been studied before. But… uh… well, you're going to have to be quarantined. We can't risk you spreading the infection. Sorry."
Despite their protests, the members of Dethklok ended up shut in an empty white room.
"Shit," Nathan said, glaring at the blindingly white wall.
Toki curled up on the floor and closed his eyes. "I'm going to sleeps," he said. "Then I don't haves to know when I hamburger times."
"That ams not brutal," Skwisgaar said.
"I don't cares anymore," Toki mumbled. "Not about anythings."
"Actually, that's pretty brutal," Pickles said, leaning on the wall, careful not to let his butt touch the wall. "Not caring. Wish I could not care about my butt so I could sit, but it's killing me."
"Idea for the last song that won't actually happen," Nathan said, pretending to speak into an imaginary tape recorder. "White… quarantine… death. Yeah." He groaned. "How long we got?"
"I don't know!" Murderface said. "They didn't call me up and tell me!"
Nathan sighed and sat down on the floor. He stared at the wall opposite him and waited.