The day had been slow and lazy and Anja let herself fall into the beautiful leaves the trees had been shedding. Everything was in shades of red and orange and yellow in the Rift and it looked gorgeous as ever. Brynjolf sat next to her and whistled.
- You were right, lass. Beautiful sight out here. Shame we thieves stay inside so much.
- It's up to you to come out more often.
He sighed and turned his gaze to the nature around them again. A deer was passing through the trees on the other side of the lake. The water was whispering its sweet music. Anja took his hand in hers and played with leaves with the other. They were still wet from the rain earlier that day and a bit cold against her warm hand but at the same time felt good under her body, like the only mattress she was meant to have under her. Outside was really where her heart belonged.
- You should go on a trip with the children, he said suddenly. Hunting and camping, they'd like that.
- I really should. Before winter comes.
- I'll take care of business while you're gone.
- I know you will.
She smiled at him, rubbing his hand palm softly. He turned to her, reciprocating her smile, and leaned to give her a quick kiss before watching the waters again. She grabbed a handful of leaves and began to throw them back to the ground one by one, as if dismissing them. Every now and then, she glanced at him. Finally, she found the right one and dropped all the others. Putting it next to Brynjolf's head, she chuckled.
- Found the one that matches your hair just right.
- Hope you're not planning on having me do anything about it, lass, cause you'll be disappointed.
She giggled and tried to put it on his head like a crown but he grabbed her hands with a grin on his face and climbed on top of her. Instead of trying to push him off, she made him roll and turned them around.
- You know I like to be on top.
- That you do.
They shared a knowing look and she was about to lean down when they heard the raspy voice of Khajiit caravan travellers a few yards from them, talking to wanderers. She stopped, her face hovering over his, merely inches away from his mouth, and licked her lower lip.
- That never stopped us before, did it?
Her voice was far too seducing for his own good and he hastily closed the distance between them. She whimpered against his mouth and ground her hips against his. They both knew where this was going to go, right there, next to the caravans, and could not have cared less. The moment was too perfect to let them be bothered by silly details such as being in an open space. Night was gathering anyway, and soon they would be part of the shadows.
- Pants, she whispered, her lips so close to his he could feel her words, open, now.
He ran his hands against her sides, taking her curves in as he had a million times before, but stopped before reaching her waist buckles, settling on her butt instead.
- You know, lass, I might just be tired of seeing you on top all the time.
His hands gave a squeeze and she threw him a half-amused, half-wanton glare, which he answered by a charming smile.
- Can't stand the sight of a strong Nord woman?
- Oh you know that I more than stand the sight.
- Come and get me then.
With a cat-like motion, she slipped away from his hold and trotted away much too lazily. Best not make him believe she threw him a real challenge. It would only delay the moment and frustrate the both of them. She had barely reached the nearest trees, right next to Lake Honrich, when Brynjolf pounced on her, tackling her to the ground in the most delicate manner possible in the circumstances.
- Caught like a common thief, he whispered in ear.
Damn him and damn his sexy voice. She would go to Oblivion and back again any time just to hear him once more. His stubble on her jaw was the sweetest of itches and he knew it, he had to know it, the way he kissed his way from her ear to her neck.
The lass was wriggling under Brynjolf and he enjoyed every second of it. A real treat, that's what she was, and he intended to make the best of their short time. As if reading his mind, the lass pulled on his belt, unbuckling it before he thought to react or help her. He lifted his head from her neck and smirked at her enthusiasm.
- Oh, don't you play Mr. I-want-to-take-it-slow, she replied and took him in her hand. You know we don't have time for this right now.
He let out a soft sigh of pleasure as she stroked him to hardness.
- Yeah. Astrid waiting for you there.
- Astrid can wait, it's Maven I was thinking about.
- Damn that woman. She never had any notion of patience. Reminds me of someone.
She kissed him silent to avoid his teasing smirk but soon proved him right by pulling his hand to lead it against her crotch in a blunt attempt to make him go faster. As much as he loved those instances of her being eager and receiving, he did not have time to make her beg him today like she so often made him, and obeyed the silent demand.
Brynjolf's nimble fingers unbuckled her pants, pulling them to her knees. Fine, they would not need much more skin bare. The ground was cold and damp against her but it made no matter for she would die if they stopped now. Soon she pulled his hips toward hers and, although she winced a little when he entered her with no preparation, she sighed in contentment and began rocking against him immediately.
- Quite the sabrecat today, lass.
- Mmh, faster, Bryn.
He circled her head with his forearms like he always did when he was on top and she was overwhelmed by the feel of him on top of her and inside her. As much as being on top gave her control, being on the bottom made her feel safe, loved and special. She felt eighteen again, playing the seduction game with him and discovering that pleasure for the first time in his arms. She looked up and met his gaze. They exchanged sweet smiles and he put his forehead against hers, not quite kissing her.
- I love you, they both said at the same time.
Chuckling, she felt her cheeks warm up and looked away. Everything about the moment was good and familiar, yet put together, completely new. She'd laid on these grounds so many times before, and made love with Brynjolf even more, but the two of them combined felt like a taste of Sovngarde. She closed her eyes, wrapped her arms around Brynjolf and focused on their pleasure, on thrusting her hips in a rhythm with his. The sounds all around them made everything so much better, and the scenery, though she was not looking, was the perfect place. She did not know how they had managed to only choose to look up at the damp stone ceiling when they could have had the evening sun, the trees and the blue skies of Skyrim as witnesses to their love.
They would do it here again, he swore to himself. They simply had to. The beauty of the Rift was one he rarely got the time to behold and never felt he needed, accustomed as he was to the beauty of a full purse or of an expensive piece of jewellery. Had he known how awesome it would be, it would have been him dragging her here and not vice versa. Everything felt overwhelmingly good. He was completely relaxed, able to hear every sound, to feel the soft wind against his face, to let go of all his tension. He looked at the lass, who still could not meet his eyes, and found himself grow closer to release when she wrapped her arms tight around him, as if she never wanted to let him go. They worked great together, always had. The problems they had been through could have broken them up, but had brought them closer together than ever before. He felt one with her, even more when they were joined physically. Their love had never been stronger.
- Brynjolf, she sighed lovingly and that was the point of no return.
He kissed her like never before and thrust a few last erratic times, slowing to stillness, and she purred as she pulled him flush against her breasts, cradling him as she would often do. It took him a while to get his heart to a normal pulse, and longer still to realize what he had just done and ruin the quiet vibe he loved to maintain after lovemaking, if only for a few minutes.
Brynjolf scrambled to a sitting position and backed away from her, looking almost terrified. She sat up slowly but his gaze only grew more anxious.
- What's the matter?
- I... I can't believe I forgot! Damn it, damn it, damn it, I haven't forgotten before, not once!
- Forget what?
- To pull out! Argh, I'm such an idiot!
He took his head into his hands, and realization dawned onto her. She was the one feeling stupid, only now realizing that Brynjolf had taken all the responsibility of being safe for them both for so many years, that she had never done anything to prevent what might happen. She moved to just in front of him and stroked his thighs softly. He looked at her between his fingers, which made her chuckle. He did not seem ready to try to smile just yet but at least uncovered his face.
- It's okay, she said.
He said nothing, still frowning, but put his hands on hers.
- What's the worst that could happen?
- Lass… you do know what happens when a man… you know… inside a woman?
She blushed and swatted his hands away, crossing her arms and pouting. She knew on his face she must have looked ridiculous, with her pants still halfway off, and quickly pulled them back on, ignoring his seed dripping out of her, though Brynjolf certainly hadn't forgotten about it, by the look of him.
- Of course I know that.
- Then how can you not freak out?!
He certainly looked freaked out. She gathered her thoughts together, thinking of anything she might know that would make him feel better.
- I told you, it's okay. There are solutions.
He shot her an expectant look. She smiled and got closer. Her hands ran up his thighs and for a moment, he thought she was going for a second round, but she simply tucked him back into his pants and buckled his belt. She lifted herself just enough to sit on his lap and snaked her arms around him. It made him feel slightly better to see her so confident, though the worry was still very present.
- First of all, you calm yourself a little bit, mister.
His frown deepened and she chuckled at him and pecked him on the lips. He put his hands on her hips and waited for her to speak.
- Then, I ought to thank you for being so careful all the time. I never really thought about protection with you and it could have turned out much worse if you weren't such a good man.
He tightened his grip on her ever so slightly and tried to smile.
- There isn't a way to know if anything might happen even after today's mistake, Bryn.
- Ma used to say even just one time can lead to a… a baby.
The word was out. It made him feel both relieved and terrified to have uttered it.
- And my mom had sex with dozens of men all fifteen years I was with her and she only ever had me.
Her voice was dry and would not allow any reply.
- And even if it does lead to that, she said in a slightly quivering voice, there are solutions.
- Only solution I know is raising it.
- Babette's an alchemist. There are ways to make sure there isn't a baby in the first place.
- How would you know about that?
- Astrid and I had that talk.
He snorted and Anja realized the oddness of what she'd said, two women like them having the talk about birth control. As if they'd need that.
- Well not like that! she said defensively. We just talked about her and Arnbjorn.
- Oh.
- She used to ask Babette that specific potion all the time. Dirty beast wasn't one to pull out like you.
- So that's one option… he said and looked very hesitant.
- Well I'm just listing our choices there. There's also adoption.
- That's out of the question, Anja, the orphanage literally is in Riften. We'd see the child all the time. Might as well keep it if we're going to live in the same city.
He instantly looked guilty to dictate her what to do and quickly spoke.
- I mean, if you don't want to, there's always that potion. You choose. But I don't want you to have a baby then give it up for us to see grow every day in the city. If you don't want to… end it, it's your call, but you don't want to raise it either, I will, but not Constance.
She pondered on the possibility. When she was younger, she had sworn to herself that she would never bring a child into the world, but that was when she was still living with her mother and in misery. Later, she'd met Lucia and decided that giving a little being love and protection wasn't so bad after all. But there was a huge difference between taking in the ten-year-old and giving birth to a little baby. She did not want to think about that possibility just now and shook her head. Brynjolf tried to meet her eyes, but she looked away and felt him sigh more than she heard it.
- I don't know either, lass. I'm just trying to process what happened.
- And how did it happen anyway? I mean, I'm not blaming you or anything, but it's the first time it's happened since we ever started doing it.
He looked at her sheepishly and sighed again.
- I got overwhelmed. It's so beautiful out here, you were beautiful and I was thinking about how much I love you and I just… It happened.
He had such a guilty expression that she couldn't help stroking his cheeks and giving him a soft kiss. He deepened it and hugged her closer to him and she lost herself in his embrace.
Holding Anja in his arms, Brynjolf could only picture a possible future life for them as a family, holding a small babe in their arms, coming home to a mischievous child after a long day's work, laughing off the guards when they would bring back home their thieving offspring after a failed burglary. The thoughts were unbidden and yet delightful, and he felt terribly guilty for feeling that way when Anja was still more than ambivalent. He felt guilty for feeling that way when five minutes ago he was freaking out but now entertained the idea more than he should, for feeling that way when the possibility of having a flesh and blood family of their own had never been on the table even once. Stroking her back, he silently grieved the future that they might never have.
- How do you think Lucia and Aventus would take it? she asked after several long silent minutes.
- You mean if we… if we did have a baby?
She pushed on his torso softly to be able to look into his eyes and her face betrayed her anxiousness. She nodded, never looking away. He had to thread through this very carefully. The lass might be considering the options. He did not want to pressure her into anything she would be uncomfortable with, but still, he had his own opinion and would not make her turn away from it if he had an opportunity to try to convince her.
- I think Lucia would be all over a baby. She'd take it everywhere with her and want to hold it and show it everything she knows. Just like she did Aventus when he became part of the family. I don't think she'd have a problem with it at all.
- What about Aventus?
He grunted, unsure of what to say.
- That kid really is a mystery to me sometimes. I mean, Lucia, I get her, she takes after you in a way.
- Aventus is really like Astrid in his own way. And she…
She stopped talking abruptly and her eyes widened. Taking her head in her hands, she breathed heavily, but as he gently rubbed her hips and pressed a kiss on the top of her head, she seemed to relax.
- Astrid won't be angry, lass.
- I don't know, she moaned. She never wanted a child, she prevented it her whole life with Arnbjorn.
- She won't be angry because she loves you. As I love you. She's part of the family.
- I'm afraid she'd leave…
- Lass, she won't leave. She's been living here for months, she loves you, she loves Riften. She also really likes Aventus, by the way. So who knows what she'd think if we ended up with a baby.
- Yeah. If we did…
- What do you want, lass?
Snuggling flush against Brynjolf again, she closed her eyes, taking in the calm he always instilled in her. He began to stroke her hair and she relaxed enough to think with a clear mind. She did not know if Brynjolf really didn't mind having a child with her or if he just didn't want her to make a decision she might not want. She wasn't sure what she wanted of life, but she knew who she wanted to spend her life with.
- I want you. I want Astrid.
- You have us. You'll always have us.
- Then I can take anything life throws at us.
- Anything?
She pictured herself with a baby in her arms, carrying it on her back to go to work, soothing it at night, teaching it everything she knew as she'd taught Lucia and Aventus, seeing it grow and supporting it like her own mother never did. Somehow, the idea appealed to her, and even more when she tought of Brynjolf as a father. Sure, he had been present for Aventus and Lucia their whole time in Riften, but never had they been his children, they were hers. She was sure he would be adorable. She wondered what Astrid would think of the situation if it were to happen. Of course, she would want Astrid to be part of the potential baby's life as much as her, as much as Brynjolf, but would her lover actually want it?
- Anything, she said.
Astrid and she had a strong relationship. She felt confident enough that they would be able to take it.
Night had already fallen by the time they went back to Honeyside and only then did Brynjolf remember that he had missed his appointment with Maven Blackbriar. She would be completely furious. He wrote a mental note to make it up on the next day, although it would probably be extremely hard. Maven was not a woman to forgive easily.
Anja was sheepishly red when she stepped through the back door of her own house. Astrid was sitting cozily in a chair, reading a book about the history of the Thieves Guild. She looked up at them and gave Anja a soft smile that Brynjolf suspected his lass was the only recipient of.
- You two were out for such a long time, she said, but her tone was not as reproachful as her words. What happened?
Brynjolf looked at Anja expectantly. She braced herself, inhaled deeply and walked to the bed, sitting on it next to Astrid's chair.
- Should I see myself out? he asked.
- Just for a minute, please? You can go check on the children.
- Is something wrong? Astrid asked and Anja took her hand.
- There's something we need to talk about.
Brynjolf went down the cracking wooden stairs to the children's room. They weren't sleeping yet, and neither was Iona, it seemed. She was sitting on Lucia's bed, reading them a story about the Companions and they barely looked at him when he sat next to them on the floor, acknowledging him but not wanting to get their attention away from the wonderful adventures of the warriors of Jorrvaskr. Lucia leaned against him, taking him by the elbow, and Aventus sat on his lap, so naturally that their eyes hadn't even turned from Iona's book. Brynjolf had grown very close to these children and would do anything for them. Thinking about Anja, about the life they might have created, he smiled and hugged the kids to him. Nothing could go wrong.