Eli
I stare at Clare from a safe distance across the hall. She's eyeing up the club rosters and no doubt thinking about which one she can add to her already huge list of extracurriculars. Heat in my chest rises, and I can tell I am flushing. I want to tell her I'm sorry; I need to tell her that I was wrong for trying to manipulate her into staying with me. A month's worth of therapy and some meds really have given me some insight about my thoughts and actions. I can still remember the epiphany I had during session with Dr. Nihart.
"Eli, you are transitioning into a new phase of your life. This is going to be a life that you will never have experienced, and you will have to make changes in your behavior. You need to confront yourself. Clare has been there for you to lean on, and frankly, you've never addressed your issues on your own."
"I know Doc, but I really don't want to lose Clare. I still love her. She's my passion; my fire in my spirit."
"But Eli, Clare- she's…"
"Already gone."
Her delicate curls shape her child-like face, and I want to kiss her. 'No,' I think to myself. I need to let Clare go. I slowly make my way towards Clare when I trip over my own cast. "Ah damned thing," I spit frustratingly. I continue, but am instantly deterred to approach her as Allie rushes to her side. I awkwardly catch Allie's eyes. She gives me this 'Go-away-you-freak' look, and I reluctantly turn away. I'll try to talk to Clare later.
Clare
"Oh my god, Clare. Don't turn around, but Eli was just staring at you."
My heart flutters. Eli hasn't tried to get a hold of me all spring break; not since the night of the accident. He is all I've been thinking about; I wonder if he's been thinking about me just as much? I was scared that night I broke up with him. He tried to hurt himself because he knew I'd be by his side. That twisted thinking was just too much for me to handle, and I freaked out. He was going through his issues, and I should have gotten him help when I felt wrong with him. I got arrogant and thought I could handle Eli's issues on my own- that I was strong enough to not let it affect me. And then when I got scared, I dropped him in an instant. I do blame myself for his accident.
"Allie, is he still there?" I ask, trembling a bit.
She shakes her head.
I turn around, almost hoping he still was there staring at me. I feel out of breath as a sense of urgency to talk to him washes over me.
"Allie, I need to talk to him. I need to tell him I'm sorry."
Allie looks at me incredulously. "What do you mean apologize? What are you sorry for? He should be apologizing to you, Clare; not the other way around."
I don't want to explain myself to her, and I start making my way towards the drama room where I know Eli has first period.