"WREX!" Roared the mighty voice of the faceless, worm-like creature that had destroyed the beautiful, white, wooden door of Wrex's newly installed kitchen.
He would make the Thresher Maw pay for that; how else was he to bake biscuits and make tea without a little door to hang his rose patterned shades from to stop the bitter winds from destroying everything? Plus, looking out at the spans of ruin of Tuchanka was always such a downer in the morning. Having a nice kitchen instead really painted a better picture.
But that would wait for now. For standing...slithering...whatever before him, was his lover, in all his tubish glory. Wrex stared and licked at his lizard lips as he saw the glisten of what was probably blood dripping from such masculine muscles twitching beneath the monster's flesh. His own twitched in excitement.
"Ooh...Thresher Maw." He cooed as coyly as his dull, monotonous voice would allow. "Oooh~" And then he fell backwards, feeling the swipe of the Thresher Maw's body behind him, before he was pulled right into those very muscles he had been admiring earlier. Wrex reached and dragged his fingertips over it, grazed along it. "Let's do it." His voice was but a whisper.
The Thresher Maw's face, or at least what was supposed to be one, almost trembled at the notion.
"Yes." It roared, causing Wrex's good china to rattle in his new vintage cupboards. "And I will keep my scales on." He continued, meeting Wrex's smoldering gaze with one of his own.
Meanwhile, in a radius of approximately 20 miles, Miranda's shirt spontaneously burst again. She flailed and grabbed at the fabric, huffing at all the wild glances the Normandy's crew gave her. "Get back to work, you ingrates!" She growled.
And then she went to the elevator to change her outfit, only to find Thane and Jacob making out inside of it.
It was amazing.
The End.
A/N:
Yes this was a request.
Deal with it.