It was never supposed to end this way. Things were supposed to be fine. It should've worked out. He loved her and she needed to know that. He took it for granted that she did and now he was going to lose her. It's just that he wasn't used to this, having to say I love you to someone. It was hard and in protecting himself he was breaking her heart. That was something he never wanted to happen. She meant so much to him, more than he let on.
It's funny how not saying three simple words can do this to a person. I mean she knew that he did right? She had seen it in his eyes many a times but there's some comfort, some security that comes with hearing those words spoken to you. She could bear it. She knew she could, if they were to return to being just friends. She was fine with it. It was just the memory of what had been would hurt her. The memory of how it couldn't work out. It was the fact that she loved someone so completely but she wasn't sure if he had felt the same way but in all honesty, here she was having a problem with that and, he never knew it himself if she felt that way.
Things were so uncomplicated when you didn't have to think about stuff. When things could just go without being said, but certain things in life didn't work that way. Relationships didn't work that way. If you had one person that was willing to talk, willing to say something well then that wasn't so bad, but when you had two stubborn people, things were going to get rocky.
Take his relationship with his father for example. They were two people you had to see. Neither of them was used to the whole concept of saying I love you. They never did it, not once. It should've been an unspoken thing right? Something they should've known. A father always loves his son and a son always looks up to his father with complete adoration and love. There was this inborn feeling that they had to be just like dad because dad is the best. It was one of the things that annoyed him the most. After all that they had said and done to each other, he still cared. That was why Henry was so able to get under his skin every time and that got him even more annoyed simply because no one was supposed to get under your skin like that. No one, if you allow that then they have power over. Henry's words exact, but as usual he screwed that one up and he now he was screwing up another relationship. That's why he didn't like having those long term stuff. Something always happens to screw it up but he wasn't going to let it happen simply because it shouldn't end that way, simply because he loved her.
Juliet sighed. What really was she having a problem with? She was doing the same thing he was doing to her. It's just that it was hard to say it. Three little words she was so used to saying to he mom and dad. Why was this different? Why did she hesitate in telling them to him? It wasn't as if it were a lie. She does love him. So what was wrong?
She was afraid, afraid that she would be saying it to someone who didn't feel the same. For three simple words, they had great meaning and should never be taken lightly. But why was she afraid? She knew he loved her. She knew it even though he didn't say. There were always those little gestures that he did, that proved it to be so. It came back to security, for you're never really sure of something until it happens. There's always that small amount of doubt hidden back there that can only be removed by experiencing it. That was what she needed from him.
He stood there for quite a while, looking at the blank door, wonder whether or not he should do this. Maybe he was just reading too much between the lines. Maybe there wasn't anything between the lines. Maybe it was as she said.
"It won't work out between us. One day something will happen to compromise our work and this relationship," She paused for a moment and shifted. She was uncomfortable saying this and it was evident by the look in her eyes she didn't want this to happen. "And I think it would be best for both of us to just remain friends."
He refused to believe that. It was crap really. They had been together for a while, they went through most of the stuff a long term couple goes through and neither work nor their relationship was compromised.
He stood at her apartment door, not really sure what he was going to say. Before he could knock on the door, it opened.
"Shawn, what-"
"You know that really is a good question." He laughed to brush of his nervousness. Something Juliet saw through. Being his friend for four years and girlfriend for a year allowed her to see through most of the things he did. He now took a sudden interest in his hands fumbling with them.
"Shawn." She said hoping to get back his attention.
He snapped his head up. "Yeah. Why am I here? Umm can I come in for a second?" He then added, "If Mrs. McKeon sees me standing out here she might have my head."
Juliet let out a soft chuckle. "Come in."
Though the air around her was getting less tense, she still had no idea as to why Shawn was here. Well maybe she did, because this certainly was not about work and there was only one other thing that he would hold which such gravity. Them. "God, wasn't that enough for me to know that he takes us seriously?" she thought to herself. She was torn really. To know that should've been enough. She really wanted it to be enough, but it wasn't.
"So…" she looked at him waiting for an explanation.
"You know that thing." He paused and focused his attention to one her sleeping cats. "Is it just me or does Cheerio look like he's packing on a few pounds."
"Shawn." She let out a sigh. "What am I going to do with you?"
"Gus asks the same thing." He stated, quite proud of himself on that one. "But it's not necessarily it's a bad thing you know."
She looked at him quizzically unsure of where he was now.
"Cheerio. It just means that he's-"
"Shawn." She said again this one more exasperatedly than the other.
"I love you."
Juliet stood there, unsure if she was hearing things, surprised that he said it, taken aback (but in a good way) at how it had just popped out and most of all relieved and happy, elated actually.
"I just thought you should know that." His hands dropped to his sides. "Because, you know," he continued. "I've never said it before but it's true." His green eyes pierced through her blue ones. "And you deserve to know that."
"Shawn," she said softly.
"You should know that." He breathed in and he looked her straight in the eye. "I do love you."
She looked up at him and smiled warmly and brushed her lips against his. There foreheads touched and she knew that things were going to be fine.
"I love you too." She sighed and looked back up to Shawn. "I'm sorry about that whole thing I said earlier, I guess I just--" but she was cut off by Shawn's lips. Her arms snaked around his neck as he pulled her closer to him, not breaking the kiss.
They would make it. There was no doubt about it. It was funny how three unspoken words could change everything once they were spoken.
