Akatsuki Buys a House

Some Background…

Well, Akatsuki has finally gotten to a point where they have outgrown their apartment. Between Marisol and Dana being there practically all the time, Lola coming in on weekends and Tobi's Mr. Potato Head collection, it was time for Akatsuki to make some changes…

"That's the last time I'm going to tell you! Oh my god get out, get out, get out!" itachi screamed from inside the shower.

"But Itachi, I'm out here and it's just..AAAAGGGGGHHHH, AGGGHH, AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH, AAGGGHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD! That's the first time you've used in fire techniques in the apartment since you lit the candles on the leader's birthday cake, yeah! Oh my god Itachi you could have singed my eyebrows, yeah!"

"Then get the fuck out of the bathroom!" Itachi yelled. Deidara walked into the living room fanning himself after the fire incident.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, yeah." Deidara said trying to cool off.

"Deidara, remember that conversation we had about you getting COMPLETELY dressed before you are anywhere around me.

"I'm sorry Sasori, really I am but you don't understand…Itachi is especially on edge today, yeah. He just practically lit me on fire because I was trying to shave while he was in the shower, yeah. I mean it's not like I was trying to get in the shower with him or something I mean my god yes our bathroom is small but it's not like he and I parade around in there naked, yeah and come on is it really so much of a problem to….." Sasori cut Deidara off.

"Deidara, moments ago I was sitting here reading the paper in peace, now you have come in to this living room half naked with sopping wet hair and a hairbrush, you sat down beside me and now me and the paper are wet from you flipping wet hair everywhere. And what's more…..now you won't shut up. I'm going to have to add you to my puppet collection if you don't leave right now." Sasori instructed calmly.

"Sasori, I can't get dressed until Itachi gets out of that bathroom, yeah. I have to shave!"

"Deidara, I don't care." Sasori said. Meanwhile, in the kitchen Kakuzu was getting ready to unload the dishwasher.

"Um, did Tobi wash the dishes with Mr. Bubble again?" he asked Sasori. Sasori put his paper down and sighed.

"Are you serious? Is there soap scum all over the plates?" Sasori asked.

"Yes."

"I wrote very clearly on a post it note, USE CASCADE." Sasori said.

"Well, I'm going to rewash them, he somehow translated that into 'use bath soap' and these dishes look awful." Kakuzu said. Kisame, Zetsu and Hidan were currently all gathered in Zetsu's room listening to the speech Marisol had written as a 'thank you' speech she would recite at the Sports Illustrated opening gala in Cancun, Mexico. Itachi, Dana, Deidara and Marisol would leave to Marisol's photo shoot the next morning.

"Okay, tell me how this sounds. This speech has to be perfect! Here's how it starts: I want to start by thanking my hot boyfriend. He's here tonight to support me in this photo shoot. I would not be here tonight if it weren't for him helping me stay on my 1000 calorie diet and working me over nearly every night. He is amazing in bed. I also want to thank my best friend in the whole world Dana! She has always been there for me when I have on ugly clothes and has always given me the best advice on accessorizing! I'm thrilled to be here today and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my hot boyfriend and my best friend. Thank you! Alright, so how did that sound?" Marisol awaited the responses.

"Seriously, that was one of the most powerful speeches I've ever heard." Hidan said.

"Um….are you supposed to mention anything that isn't about sex?" Kisame asked a little confused.

"You know what, I loved it!" Kakuzu said.

"It was okay I guess." Zetsu said shrugging his shoulders.

"Yay! I can't wait to recite it!" Marisol beamed.

"Alright, I have to get down town, who's taking me down town?" A very dramatic Itachi stated entering the living room.

"Get a cab." Sasori said.

"Get a cab!? Get a stinky cab!? As if! I'm going to pick up the most important thing of my life and you're telling me to get a cab!?" Itachi panicked.

"Dude, what are you going to get?" Sasri asked.

"If you don't know then you're going to have to wait and see!" Itachi scolded him.

"Kisame! Kisame get out here and take me downtown!" Itachi hollered for him. Since Kisame knew that messing with Itachi today wasn't a good idea he gave up and drove Itachi downtown in the AKTSUKI van.

"Hey, why's Itachi so wound up today?" Zetsu asked following Marisol into the living room.

"I have no idea. Maybe it's his time of the month." Sasori said sarcastically. Sasori's RAZR started ringing his new Kelly Rowland 'Like This' ringtone.

"Hi honey." He answered it. It was Lola. "Oh my god! You're serious, you are not serious are you serious!? Lola that's….that's wonderful!" Sasori was on his feet with excitement. "Okay, okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. Well how about I rent a U-Haul and come help you pack up?" Sasori said. "Okay, okay honey well I will talk to you later and see you tomorrow." Sasori hung up the phone and announced the news…. "Guys, Lola got the job 30 minutes outside of town, she's going to move in with us until she gets settled in." Sasori said.

"Oh cool! I imagine that she's excited about moving closer!" Kakuzu said.

"Yes she is."

"You know, really, we are starting to get cramped for space in here." Hidan stated. It seemed as though Akatsuki would have a little less space once Lola moved in.