The Dance of the Dead
A/N: Hello people! It is I, the Grand Shadow Ryoku, here with one of my two first stories, and like the other it's a humorous , I'm only going to say one thing about the content of this story: If you have played Majora's Mask, then you should get what this thing is about just from the title. Without further ado, let's get this show on the road!
The Dance of the Dead
Link, the so called Hero of Twilight, was having just a little bit of trouble finishing the Temple of Time. One reason was because there were all of these annoying skeletons who looked like the descendants of the creatures of legend who screamed and then brutally raped you.
Another was that his statue, which was supposed to be following his orders and his orders only, kept hitting him on the head over and over again. For some reason, Midna, the irritable little imp who accompanied him on his quest, kept giggling every time the statue hit him on the head. The knocking on the head, along with the nonstop giggling, was making Link a little brain dead.
After about a half an hour of knocking Link in the head every five minutes with the statue, Midna decided that Link had suffered enough and, after knocking him on the head once more for good measure, returned the Dominion Rod that she had stolen from Link's bag while he wasn't looking to it's rightful place. Well, she thought that he wasn't looking.
"MIDNA!" Link yelled, with a little slurring, "You were the one knocking me on the head? That hurt!"
"Well, technically it wasn't me." Midna said with a straight face.
"Well then, WHO THE FUCK WAS IT?" Link yelled, starting to get a little fed up. He wanted to kill someone and he wanted to kill them now.
Midna pointed at the statue. "It was him." She said, still managing to keep a straight face.
In his somewhat delirious state, Link actually believed her. He turned to the statue with bloodlust in his eyes. "So, you think you can mess with me, huh, big guy? Well, I've got news for you, buddy! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL, AND I'M SENDIN' YOU THERE!" And with that, Link charged at the statue, and started swinging at it with his sword.
Midna couldn't keep a straight face any longer and burst out laughing. She laughed so hard that tears were streaming down her face. They made so much noise that a nearby ReDead heard them and decided to go get back up. That swordsman was fast.
When Midna stopped laughing, and her eyes cleared up, she was greeted with the sight of hundreds of ReDeads, all surrounding her and Link.
"L-link?" Midna said, "We have company." Link was oblivious to all of this. He was still busy trying to kill the inanimate statue.
Midna punched him in the face. This seemed to get his attention.
"What the hell do you wa-" Link stopped talking when he looked around and saw their predicament. "Oh."
"Yes, oh." Midna said, "Now get out there and do your hero stuff."
Link stepped bravely into the center of the circle of ReDeads. He took a deep breath, and took out his most feared, most powerful weapon of terror, his…pipes?
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Midna screeched, "GET OUT YOUR STABBY THING AND DO HERO STUFF!"
"No, trust me, these will do the job much better." Link said, shaking his head at her naivety. 'Silly Midna.' Link thought.
Midna was sure that they were going to die. 'Wait, maybe there's a special song that will turn night to day, thus freezing the ReDeads!' Midna thought, now fully believing in Link's abilities.
Link took a deep breath, put his pipes to his lips, and started playing YMCA.
'Well, I had a good run.' Midna thought.
The ReDeads started to advance, but before they could start attacking, one suddenly cocked its head and started nodding its head to the beat.
One by one, they all started nodding their heads to the beat, with Midna staring at them, forever scarred, and then one suddenly started breakdancing, while another started doing the disco, while strobe lights, a disco ball, and refreshments appeared out of nowhere. Midna did what any sensible person would do: she passed out.
Link was weaving in and out of the crowd of ReDeads, playing the music and dancing at the same time. They had a grand old time, and Link was made an honorary member of the Hierarchy of Eternal ReDeads of Old, or H.E.R.O. for short.
When the party was over, Link picked up Midna and threw her into his shadow, and was helped by his new ReDead friends with completing the temple. The ReDeads killed the giant spider, and then it was time to go. They said goodbye and Link left, never to be face fucked again.
A/N: So, how did you guys like it? I know it was short, but it wasn't meant to be very long. Again, this is one of my first stories, so any feedback would be appreciated! And if you liked this story, I''m uploading another story for Naruto around this time. GSR, out!