Hey peoplez!! I've come up with a list of problems I've found in almost all AxS fics.

1. In about 85% of them have a wimpy Seras, and she irritates me. I will now refer to the Seras I write about as MySeras in my A/Ns. (don't worry Seras will still shine through occasionally)

2. Everyone seems to assume Alucard hates Christmas, which I don't believe ((who can hate Christmas?!?!?)

3. Seras usually is a Twitard. She is a vampire, therefore she should be insulted over sparkly "vegetarian" vampires as much as her Master (well almost)

I solemnly swear (that I'm up to no good) that I am going to fix every last one of these problems in this fic.

Kay, now that that's over… Thanks to everyone who got this far! I hope this story will make up for any irritations that my complaint list caused. Any ways, I don't own Alucard, Seras, Integra, and I only half(eighth)-own MySeras. ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A dark shadow drifted up on the wall behind a platinum haired young woman, apparently unbeknownst to her. A wide grin spread in a crooked line across the shadow, finally he had won. Every time he tried to sneak up on the woman she always, always, caught him, but not this time. The grin widened.

"There you are, Alucard," the young woman said not looking up from her paperwork. Ah, appearances surely could be deceiving. "I called you up here more than five minutes ago."

"Forgive me, Master," Alucard smirked, mock bowing. "Do you have an assignment for me? A FREAK that needs slaughtering, an enemy you would enjoy seeing impaled?" he asked his excitement growing with every word. "Tell me my master and I shall destroy anyone or thing you ask!"

Integra sighed. "No, Alucard" she said "I just need to speak with you."

"May I inquire as to the subject? It's not every day you simply feel the need to just speak with me."

"It's about the newest recruit in Hellsing," Integra started cautiously.

"I fail to see how the going ons of your human soldiers affects me," Alucard interrupted.

"Because this particular soldier will be your partner."

"Pardon me?" Alucard asked his eyes widening in disbelief.

Integra smirked. "You heard me."

"Why exactly do you think I need a human partner?" he growled softly.

"You had Walter as a partner once." Integra reminded him. "With him you didn't create half as many problems as you do now."

"What is his name?" Alucard scowled, already planning his "partner's" demise.

"Not he, she."

"She?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Seras Victoria."

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my list at the beginning, I just wanted to give my readers a heads up for what's ahead. Absolutely no offence was intended. So please don't flame me for it.

Kay, back to my usual A/N topic. So, did you guys like it?!?!? I hope you did, I've been toying with this idea for over a week now, and my plot bunnies are about to revolt. So, to appease them I feed them their favorite treats: REVIEWS!!! Unfortunately, I'm fresh out, so please donate? They might cooperate and let me get a chapter out faster if you do, but Genii (who is in charge of this story) is violently allergenic to fire, so no flames please.