the happiest moment of my life
-x-
It hasn't happened yet, but I can see it. I can see it almost perfectly. It's the last day of school, the last day of junior year. I'll be tangled in my Frette sheets, unassumingly sleeping, when my alarm clock will blare Firework. My eyes will shoot open and I'll get out of bed without pressing the snooze button. I'll have a bounce in my step. I'll put on some old dress I found at Urban Outfitters, no brand new designer shit. I'll rake a comb through my hair and maybe add a dab of hairspray. I won't heat-style and I won't spend an hour mushing products into it. After that, I'll go eat breakfast. No makeup today, thank you very much. Just a huge breakfast of bacon and eggs and oatmeal and pancakes and belgian waffles and ruby red grapejuice. I won't pick at my food, I'll take huge forkfuls, forgetting about the calories.
I'll run outside, and Isaac won't be waiting. Instead, Derrick will be there, his arms open wide. He'll forgive me for everything. The lying, the cheating, the cutting, the puking... and he'll just, I don't know... he'll just love me. I'll run into his arms and he'll smell like Diesel cologne and he'll whisper in my ear that I'm perfect and beautiful and have a wonderful life that I need to live. We'll walk into BOCD holding hands, and we won't give a damn what people will say. He'll kiss me everywhere. At school, in the park, at my house, on the street, at the mall.. we won't care if anyone stares. He'll be a gentleman. He'll look at me like... like I've always looked at him, but more. Much more.
My friends will pay more attention to me as their friend, not their leader. We'll laugh and go places and make memories that'll spam up all of our Facebook news feeds. Maybe we won't be the most popular bitches as school. Want to know what I think about that? WHO FUCKING CARES. We can be the weirdest kids at school, I'm done giving a shit. After I make nice with my friends, I'll go back to hang out with my amazing, magnificent, incredible boyfriend.
We'll talk and talk and talk and maybe talk some more. And we won't talk about stupid things, like Black Ops or the score of the latest basketball game. We'll talk about my issues and how I can fix them. He won't get freaked out if I start crying, and he'll even wipe away my tears with his fingers. He'll say things like "everything is going to be okay."
Summer will come. We'll spend every second together planning for the future. I don't care if this is unrealistic and I don't care if I'm being cheesy, but this... this would be the happiest moment of my life, knowing that somebody out there cares. That would be enough. That would be more than enough.