Just as warning I will explain that I write House episodes as hobby for my friends to read in my spare time. They have demanded me to share them with everyone else. So if you think this work of fiction is impersonal or written like a screenplay that's exactly how it's meant to be! : )
Opening: House is sleeping on surgical table. His portable hand held television is on the floor on its front but you can clearly hear General Hospital is on. House is snoring slightly. Suddenly he rolls over and off the table! Wakes up to see scalpel just inches from his face.
Cuddy walks in while House is staring at the weapon that came so close to being in his eye.
Cuddy: It's a scalpel, it won't turn into beef jerky at any other angle.
House looks up.
House: Someone ate lightbulbs for breakfast, too bad there are bits in your teeth (Cuddy subconsciously rubs tongue over them inside mouth). Are those yesterday's clothes?
He winks at Cuddy. She blushes and changes the subject.
Cuddy: I have a case for you. 48 year old wo-
House: (makes retching noise) Too old. Probably has footache or gonorrhea. Sounds like a clinic case.
Cuddy: She's the same age as you.
House: Exactly.
Cuddy: It says here that she's having fainting spells and is having trouble clotting.
House: That's all? A first year in med school could diagnose that. Easy stuff.
Cuddy: If it's that easy then do your job and diagnose her and get paid for doing it. And get off the damn floor.
House props himself up.
House: The angle changes your skirt into an umbrella. It's just magical! Like the scalpel… only better.
House leans forward as if he wants a better look. Cuddy leaves.
Next scene: House has moved on to coma patient's room to eat Wilson's lunch early. He is watching cartoons and talking to the coma patient.
House: So I told her, her bra was revealing and -
Wilson enters.
Wilson: Is that my lunch? It's not even 11:30!
House: Why wait for the inevitable?
A woman wearing dark glasses and waving a cane accompanied by a nurse enters. The nurse then leaves. Wilson senses danger, gives House a comical look and then leaves also. House takes a bite from Wilson's sandwich.
Blind Woman: (sniffs) I smell arrogance. (sniffs again) With a hint of jerk. You're House.
House: No I'm not. I'm Wilson (He looks at her with interest).
Blind Woman: I bumped into Dr. Cuddy. She warned me about you after I told her why I was here.
House: Let me guess how you "bumped" into her. It was always obvious that her boobs could stop traffic, but blind people?
Blind Woman: She warned me about your "humor" too.
House frowns.
House: You know Cuddy?
Blind Woman: She and I are… associates.
House: (smiling) We all know that's lesbian for friends with benefits.
House gets up and walks over to the woman.
Blind Woman: You're leaving. Good.
House: Take off your glasses.
They are both so close now they could touch noses.
Blind Woman: I won't see either way.
She reluctantly removes them to humor House. There's silence.
House: Your eyes, they're… What's your name?
Blind Woman: You can call me CGF.