Based on Next Contestant by Nickelback. Slash (duh), and some...select language. I do suggest listening to the song while reading this. It gets the mood across quite nicely.
"What'll it be, big boy?" Hermione asked the guy, tall and burly, giving a snap of her gum.
"You on the menu, baby?" He asked, guffawing at all of his buddies.
Hermione, too polite a waitress to be rude, merely grinned. "We'll see about that. In the meantime, what can I bring you?"
The bastard's hand was on Hermione's ass for just a second before Ginny flew from her spot at the bar and wrenched it away, grabbing him by the throat with the other. "She's not for sale, asshole." She scathed, dragging him bodily from the table and towards the door of the pub. "Thanks for stopping by." She said, shoving him out the swinging doors. Ginny went back to the table, where Bastard's friends where goggling at her. "Anybody else feeling frisky?" She asked, glaring. Nobody answered her, and she wiped her hands on the back of her jeans, kissed Hermione, who was shaking her head with her hands on her scantily clad hips, on the cheek, and returned to her drink at the bar.
I
judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off
of assholes coming on to her
Each night seems like it's getting
worse
And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to
fight off
Every asshole coming on to her
It happens every night
she works
It wasn't as if Ginny disapproved of Hermione's current career choice. Okay, fuck it, she did. No point in pretending...but Hermione loved this job, the tips, the people she worked with, and it fit well with the classes at the University she was taking. So Ginny spent her evenings here, after she left her job at the Ministry, to look out for her unaware girlfriend. For Hermione was, as she had always been, rather naive, especially when it came to a) her looks and b) how she dressed. It was common for the waitresses in pubs to wear tight, risque outfits, it helped generate tips, no matter what the feminist conservatives liked to argue.
Here comes the next contestant
The door of the pub flew open, and in walked contestant number two. He wasn't as tall nor as strong as the first jackass Ginny had manhandled tonight, but he made up for that with his arrogance. He was by himself, probably meeting some friends. He swaggered behind Hermione as she led him to a table, and he was making is move before she even asked him if she could get him some pretzels from the bar.
The only thing that Ginny had heard was something about the backseat of this guy's car and Hermione's panties, much more than she needed to to knock the shit out of him. "That's enough pal, the lady isn't interested in pencil dicks."
"No need to get sore, princess. I've got enough room in my Camino for both of you." The guy said, throwing his arm around Ginny's shoulders, and went to do the same to Hermione.
"Any part of you that touches her, you're not getting back." Ginny said, fuming. She grabbed him by the collar, twisted his arm behind his back, and shoved him down onto the table. "Nobody wants what the fuck ever you're trying to sell. If you don't want your balls shoved up your ass, I'd suggest getting hell out."
She released him, and he made a bee line for the door, without looking back. Hermione sighed, rolling her eyes. "How are we going to make the rent if you run off all of the best tippers?" She asked, though she couldn't quite make a straight face. It really was rather cute how protective Ginny was of her.
"Rather be living on the street than have these creeps keep trying to get into your skirt, love." Ginny said, gesturing towards Hermione's black, pleated skirt, that came up to her mid-thigh.
"Look, Lou is making you a sandwich, go, will ya?" Hermione said, gently pushing Ginny back towards the bar.
Ginny went, but no sooner had she sat down to the pastrami melt Lou had placed in front of her than fuck head number three had pulled Hermione over to the jukebox, and had her up against the wall. Hermione looked over to Ginny, shaking her head, trying to tell her that she had this situation under control.
"Please don't smash my bar, Ginerva." Lou said, pouring out a fresh round of shots and placing them a serving tray.
Ginny looked to Lou and smirked. "Then keep these dipshits out of here."
Ginny crossed the room in easy strides, and tapped the man who was trying to charm Hermione with his cheesy pick up lines on the shoulder. He turned around, his eyes widening as he saw Ginny's fist swinging for his face. There was a sickening crunch as his nose broke, blood spurting everywhere. Ginny threw a cocktail napkin at him, then as he made to swing back at her, she ducked, and hit him with a right upper cut to the stomach. He groaned, and fell to his knees, blood still spilling from his nose. Without a word, Ginny heaved him over her shoulder, walked out of the pub, tossed him onto the sidewalk, and was lighting a cigarette on the way back to her seat.
Is that your
hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it
again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it
again
I'll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next
contestant
Number four, far from worrying Ginny, was actually making for a pretty entertaining show. She was blond, with thick lashes and blue eyes, her skirt just as short as Hermione's, her top just as low-cut and tight. Hermione had taken to this job very well, and that included flirting with whomever was flirting with her. The chick had just placed a hand on Hermione's arm and was scribbling something down on a matchbook when Ginny asked Lou for a refill.
Lou looked at Hermione, then to Ginny. "Pervert." He said, shaking his head, as he poured Ginny more vodka. But he was smiling while he said it.
I
even fear the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as
bad for coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work
Each time she
bats an eyelash Here
comes the next contestant
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps
coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt
Blondie left, blowing a kiss Hermione's way. Ginny rolled her eyes and took another drink. Hermione made her way back to the bar, hopping onto the stool next to Ginny. "Enjoy the show?" She asked, pulling her tips from the pocket of her apron and beginning to count them out.
"Quite. But if that slut had kissed you, I'd have to interfere after a minute or two."
"You're worse than a man, honestly." Hermione said, shaking her head.
Number five approached them, eyeing Hermione's curvaceous hips and toned legs, but at the sight of Ginny cracking her knuckles dangerously, he decided to divert his attention elsewhere. He'd seen this redhead beat up countless men, sometimes more than three times her size, and chuck them from the place with ease. His ass wasn't going to be next.
There goes the next contestant
It was almost two in the morning, but Hermione and Ginny were taking their time walking back to their flat, enjoying the warmth of the summer night air. "How'd you do on tips tonight?" Ginny asked, enclosing Hermione's hand with her own.
Hermione shrugged. "Could've done better, if you hadn't beaten three of my customers senseless and gotten blood on the jukebox. But, not too bad, for a weeknight."
Ginny grinned. "Good."
"Gin?" Hermione said, pulling Ginny to a stop.
"Yes?" Ginny answered.
"Thanks." Hermione said, tipping her head back to kiss her lunatic girlfriend, without which she would find her job unbearable.