I do not own Spyro the Dragon and deny rights to any of it's characters. The following "Out takes" are non-profitable, original, and completely fan made. Rated "S" for Stoopidafied.
Take 1:
Over the vast fields of the Dragon Realms, one small dragon
"Hey! Who you callin' small?!" Spyro yelled.
Sparx rolled his eyes and said,
"Sorry, narrator. I'm sure he's finished. You can continue."
Anyways, back to the story; a small dragon runs
"Can somebody PLEASE explain to me why I always have to be running? I mean, I don't have to run in every stupid story, do I? It's not even one of my favorite past times!"
"Aww, Spyro. Will you just shut up and let the narrator tell the story?"
"Sorry, Sparx, but I think I have a point. I mean, who writes these things, anyways?!"
"Who cares?! Just enjoy the publicity and–"
"FORGET the publicity! Seriously. And why is the bad guy ALWAYS Ripto? Is anybody but me noticing how this guy among others never dies?!"
"It's a thing; the bad guy never dies. If you don't believe me, play a Sonic the Hedgehog game."
"How come? If anybody should be called small and running, it's Ripto."
"I heard that!" Ripto yelled.
"Just get on with the story, narrator. Ignore Spyro." Said Sparx Right well... where was I?
"Aww Spyro, you made him lose his spot!"
"Me? What'd I do?!"
"You are SO immature..."
"Buzz off, Sparx. I'm telling the story, now."
But it's my job! I'm the narrator!
"Take a vacation. I'm taking over this story."
"Spyro? I don't think that's such a good idea..." Sparx said.
"How come all my ideas aren't good ones to you?"
"Simple. Because they aren't."
"How could I mess this up?! I was the one there, not him!"
"What story are you telling?"
"Uhh... the one."
"Which one?"
"THE one! Come on, Sparx, you don't remember?!"
"How did it start?"
"Umm... I just beat 60 rynoks in 60 seconds fo the second time you dared me to."
"Good luck."
"Okay, so I just beat 60 rynoks in 60 seconds for the second time Sparx dared me to, and won a vacation of my choice. So then Im like, 'Okay Sparx. I wanna go somewhere new.' and Sparx was all mean and stuff and said, 'We've been through this before. You gotta be more specific.' So I thought for a minute and said something weird and random. Strangely enough, he thought it was a real place. So did Zoe. In fact, everybody thought it was real!"
"That's because "Phonypony lane" is a real place!" Sparx interrupted.
"Hey, who's telling the story here? Me or you?"
"Sorry, Spyro. You continue telling your story."
"That's what I thought. Anyways, so me and Sparx went to the place, and Zoe said something stupid was inside. We ignored her and boldly went into the portal of death. Valiantly and bravely we faced a land of gay, pink little ponies trying to be scary. I said, 'Sparx, could things get any gayer?" and he said, "Nope. You should kill them." since I never turn down the chance to kill something the color green, purple, red, or pink, I attacked all the gay little ponies in phony pony palace... or was it avenue? Street? City? Dude, I SO lost my train of thought. Oh yeah. So we left and I said, 'Okay, I know I just killed 60 rynoks in 60 seconds, but how many ponies do you think I just killed?' And Sparx just rolled his eyes. Then Ripto came, and I told him all about my pony killing accomplishments. And he's like, 'That's cool but–'"
Time out, Spyro. Didn't you say that Ripto shouldn't be in the book?
"No, I said he should stop being the 'bad guy'. We're friends, man! We're amigos!"
"Okay, now that we've all heard Spyro's version of the story, Spyro, will you please let the narrator tell it?" Sparx asked.
"Fine."
Take 2:
Over the vast fields of the dragon realms, one small dragon runs swiftly among the hills.
"Oh, the sound pains me! Who wants to run on a hill?" Spyro said.
"Oh, my, gosh. Spyro, would you please–"
"I know, I know... shut up."
"Thank you."
Take 3:
Over the
"River and through the woods! To the next portal, we go!" . Spyro said.
"SHUT UP!" Everybody yelled.
"Hey, who else is there?" Spyro asked. Sparx looked and said,
"Uhh... Hunter, Bianca, Ripto, Crush, Gulp, Zoe, me, Sheila... pretty much everybody you're holding up by interrupting the narrator."
"Fine, you know what, then? I'll just stop talking."
Everybody broke out in applause and Spyro sighed, annoyed.
Take 4:
Over the vast fields of the dragon realms, one small dragon runs swiftly among the hills. He ran to his home portal, and said,
"Great, Sparx. We're home."
"Oh, Come on, Spyro! Say it like you mean it!"
"You're lucky I'm even talking at all! But when you're threatened with magic, you can't really say no can you?"
Bianca and Ripto glared at him.
"I... wasn't supposed to say that, was I?"
Take 5:
Over the vast fields of the dragon realms, one small dragon runs swiftly among the hills. He ran to his home portal and said,
"Woo, what a workout! It's great we're home!"
"I'll say. Hey look, it's Hunter and Bianca. We should stop and say hi." Sparx said.
"Stupid witches." Spyro muttered.
"I'm sorry, Spyro. I missed that. What'd you say?"
"I– I said my leg itches."
They walked over to the 2 and said,
"What's new?"
"Well, I can think of one thing, but it's not that recent." Said hunter.
"Like the Salem witch trials?" Spyro blurted out.
"Why do you always mess it up?! You did the other stupid stories fine!" Bianca yelled.
"This one's different. It's like, no matter how hard I try, I can't resist the urge to... speak up, and be more open and opinionated."
"Well, nobody wants to hear it."
"Somebody does. They're wasting their lives reading one of the most pointless, out of order, demented stories in the world, voluntarily."
"Well, we're under contract to deal with you, okay?! You're just making things more stressful."
Then Spyro started laughing.
"What's so funny?!" Bianca asked.
Then he fell on his stomach, kicking and laughing. He rolled around, but couldn't stop laughing. Everybody else exchanged glances and shrugged.
Take 6:
Over the vast– over the... I mean, over, over.. AWW, SCREW IT!
And... CUT!
Rated "S" for "Stoopidafied".