Zora's Disease

Sonny happily skipped away from the western set as Tawni caught up with her asking, "Hey, have you seen Zora?" Frowning, Sonny put her hands on her hips, "Actually...no! I didn't think that she ever missed rehearsal!" Tawni rolled her eyes as they entered their dressing room, "That's the point, Sonny! Zora hasn't missed rehearsal in five years." Sonny stroked her imaginary goatee and wondered, "We could check her vent?" Tawni groaned dramatically as she applied more pink lip gloss, "You can, but I'm not going up there! The last person that went in never came out!!!" Sonny froze and squeaked, "What happened to them?" Tawni shrugged, "No one knows. But once during a blizzard, I cranked the heat on high, and a human skull and a dried husk of a leg shot out and landed in Nico's soup."

Sonny gasped and clutched her heart saying, "REALLY?!?! Well, we could always check her dressing room."

Tawni still lazily decided to stay behind and marvel at her beauty as Sonny and Grady cautiously knocked on the door of Zora's dressing room.

"Zora?" Sonny called as Grady nervously looked around him, "Zora, its Sonny, can I come in?" Without a reply, Sonny entered and nearly shrieked at what she saw. Oinkers (the pig), an iguana, and a naked mole rat munched on sushi rolls in a cage made of human bones as a AA battery sculpture of the Colosseum stood tall and fragile in the center. A huge, purple coloured water filled tank was lining the back wall with stuffed animals and ink cartridges strapped onto jellyfish's backs. Finally seeing something that made sense, Sonny walked through the knee deep sand dunes and over to a lawn chair with golf cubs and rolls of bum wad leaning against it.

Seeing that Grady had escaped in sight of the strange petting zoo, Sonny rose from the lawn chair and turned toward a ladder leading into the vent. Taking a deep breath, she pushed back the metal frame and crawled inside.

Moving through the metal tunnels squished and squashed was hard enough, but fearing that you'll come out a husk or a just a skull made it downright terrifying for Sonny as she squeezed through the vent calling Zora's name.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STTTOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!!!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! ZORAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"

The two hooligans screamed in sight of each other.

"What are you doing here?!?!" Zora exclaimed in her hysteric nasal voice, "haven't you ever heard of the husk and soup story?"

Sonny panted from the terrified entrance Zora had made and noticed something odd as Zora cuddled a spray bottle of Windex and had a picnic blanket covering her face from Sonny's sight.

"Zora," Sonny began as Zora cowered away muttering something about Tupperware, "Why did you miss rehearsal today? Tawni said you haven't missed it in five years." Zora shook her fist crying, "That spoon! I....I can't tell you!! Heh heh heh heh...no...my sweet we say goodnight!"

Sonny watched the cackling seventh grader strangely asking slowly, "Are you okay?" At that, Zora stiffened and spun around exclaiming, "No I'm not okay! I have a disease, Sonny! A DISEASE!!!!"

Before Sonny could respond, she felt her body plummet down into the battery Colosseum with Zora aiming her cold-cut catapult at her face.

Feeling the wet slap of bologna and hearing Zora giggle evilly, Sonny asked pushing aside the catapult, "What disease? Cancer? Conjunctivitis? Sinus infection??"

The lights dimmed as Zora shook her head saying in a deep British accent, "No, Sonny. Its worse than that. First, I turn red. Then, I turn orange. Then yellow, and after that green. Slowly, my body dries out and becomes blackened with a plague smelling of tropical fruit. In a few days time, I die a corpse as black as licorice, sprouting fruit trees, and smelling like a tropical breeze..."

Horrified, Sonny squeaked in a small, barely audible voice, "What is it called?" Zora's head spun around, and with a mad gleam in her eyes, she yelled, "MANGO TANGO!"

Sonny began crying as Zora covered her slowly reddening face with her hands saying, "I'll be ruined, Sonny! RUINED! Who will look after dear Oinkers or Genesha or Willard? Who will unveil the last 9,837,465,277,364,528,292,039,576,759,403,048,576,777,749,930,304,395,757 numbers of pi? NOT Me! Cause' I'll only be a blackened, mango smelling husk!!!!"

Sonny dried her tears and asked, "Is there a cure, Zora? Is there anything that can help you?!" Zora sighed, and sighed. And sighed. And sighed some more until Sonny asked, "What?! What is it?"

Zora shook her head murmuring to a pack of Lima bean flavoured Altoids, "It would be asking too much, dear friend. You see, the only cure for Mango Tango is dipping a sand bucket into the chocolate fountain of a teen drama show and using a plastic Barbie doll hand to drink every last drop until your colouring returns to normal."

Sonny held her head higher as she announced to the weeping, depressed actress, "I'll do it! I can save you Zora! I won't let you down, I'll find that teen drama show! I'll find that chocolate fountain! And I'll get that Barbie if its the last thing I'll do!!!"

With another slap of bologna for good luck, Sonny left Zora's overwhelmingly random dressing room and snuck onto the tragic, depressing set of Mackenzie Falls.

"I know you are confused, but it has to be this way...the bottled water means too much...it cannot mend a broken heart Penelope, goodbye."

As the actress sobbed and ran off the set, Chad Dylan Cooper abruptly stopped the dramatic scene and made his way down to the meditation room where his chocolate fountain was waiting for him frothy, creamy and delicious.

However, he gasped in disgust as he saw Sonny use her grubby, comedic mitts to scoop his chocolate into a yellow sand bucket.

"Sonny? he asked as she held her brown dripping hands up in the air as if she was getting arrested, "what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be back hitting someone with a rubber chicken in Chuckle city?"

Sonny rolled her eyes and picked up her halfway full of chocolate sandbucket saying, "No, I'm doing this for a good cause Chad, now could you please help me find a Barbie doll?"

Chad raised an eyebrow and asked, "Are you trying to cure someone of Mango Tango?" Sonny nodded and victoriously found a brunette plastic Barbie under a bowl of fruit.

Seeing the comedian's funny hands on his Barbie, Chad yelled, "No! You can't use Teresa for that! She's my favorite, Sonny haven't I ever told you that?!" Sonny laughed and said, "Chad, you still play with dolls?" With dignity, he snatched his prized possession out of her hands and pulling out a blond haired doll in a pink bathing suit from his pocket said, "Here take Skipper, she's too babyish for me."

Taking the doll from Chad, Sonny said angrily with the chocolate sloshing in her sandbucket, "Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

"So we're good?"

"Oh we're so good!"

Zora hesitantly took another sip out of the Barbie's hand as she asked, "Do I look any better?" Sonny grinned and patted her on the shoulder, "Actually, yeah! The red has become more of a faint pink." When the plastic hand finally scraped the bottom of the bucket, the cast of So Random celebrated Zora's health and they all lived happily, randomly after!