The Return

Part 1 - Gone

The time passed as a blur – there were so many things to be done. After the fall of Houtou castle, the Sanzo-Ikkou had been quite popular, the fact that they had been the ones to dispel the Minus Wave had done wonders for their reputations. So the three remaining members were welcome in all villages they happened to pass through during their return trip.

With no attacks and no detours, the return trip was much quicker, taking them mere months rather than the near two years it had taken for them to get there. Not much was said while on the road, each member lost in their own thoughts and pointedly not looking at the seat that remained empty. During the nights in towns, they didn't play any games. Mah-jong was out of the question, but the card games seemed too quiet- too quick and it was nothing short of depressing.

After the six month journey, there was just the meeting with the Sanbushin left. They had insisted on meeting with all three of them – and it hadn't gone all that well. After angry words (many of which not suitable for polite conversation) and veiled threats the three went their separate ways, trying to make their lives as normal as they could.

~ ~ 0 ~ ~

The door closed and the heavy footfalls of boots sounded as he walked further into the room. Barely sparing a glance at the empty bed in the corner of the room, he sighed and made his way to the window as he pulled out a cigarette and lit up.

Alone now, Sanzo had to face the facts. Goku was gone. Piercing purple eyes closed as his mind assaulted him with memories.

The night before the final battle. They'd run into Kougaiji, and instead of attacking them, the Yokai prince had done something unexpected – he asked for help. At first, Sanzo hadn't believed him – pointing his Smith and Western at him warningly – but after hearing the man's story he'd relented.

Plus, Goku had vouched for him.

So they'd agreed to help Kougaiji and were set to leave the following morning.

When they'd woken both Kougaiji and Goku had disappeared and they had taken Kougaiji's flying dragon.

It'd only taken the other three only a few hours to catch up but by that time the battle had already begun. The castle sat in ruins, bodies strewn around everywhere – all of them Yokai and armed to the teeth. It didn't look like they'd had time to give much of a fight. Blood and guts painted what was left of the corridors in a sickening red and most of the soldiers weapons hadn't even been drawn.

Panic quickly set in and the three of them had hurried to find Goku. If he had been in enough of a hurry to do this much damage, then there was always the possibility that he had taken off his limiter. Eventually they found him on the topmost floor. He was backing slowly towards the edge of the building his eyes focused on the woman who was baring down on him, Nyoibo held in his shaking grasp and a glare on his face. Golden eyes lifted and he briefly looked at Sanzo, his expression was that of profound sadness but a small smile flickered on his face as he stared at the monk. Sanzo could only watch in horror as Goku raised his arms and slammed the weapon into the ground, a crack forming along the joins in the floor behind the woman, spreading until they reached across the floor and broke off.

Both Goku and the woman fell. They had been unable to recover either body.

Later, the group had been informed that the woman Goku had taken down with him had been Lady Gyokumen Koshu herself – the person behind pretty much all of their problems. After that there had simply been the clean up and scouting. Goku had been the only allied loss.

Every time Sanzo closed his eyes, he saw that last look on Goku's face. A peaceful, saddened look, like Goku knew he was going to die.

~ ~ 0 ~ ~

Alone now, Sanzo felt it like he'd never felt it before. Even after his master had died he hadn't quite felt this lonely – his head was silent. The quiet hum of Goku's voice was gone from the back of his mind. It had been there for so long that he'd grown used to it, and now not having it was just as annoying as it had been to begin with.

He wouldn't admit it out loud but he missed Goku. Missed him terribly and his heart ached whenever he thought about the youth. Meal times had been particularly hard – even now he expected the constant begging for food from the monkey.

For a few months, Hakkai and Gojyo had made every effort to help him adjust. They'd visited the temple so much that they had practically lived there and secretly he appreciated their effort but it was time that they moved on. Goku was dead and nothing could change that. It was bad enough that Sanzo was constantly reminded of their missing comrade. There was no sense in the two of them missing life too.

Sanzo wasn't an idiot, he could see what was blossoming between his two friends – he'd been seeing it for a long time now. And now that they didn't have anything standing in their way but him... Well...Sanzo didn't want to stand in the way any more. As much as he wanted everyone to believe it, he wasn't a complete dick.

So after only four months, Sanzo had ordered them to go home – to live their lives. After that their visits became fewer and fewer until it was a simple once a month thing (at Hakkai's insistence).

Finishing his smoke, Sanzo flicked it out of the window and settled himself into his bed.

~ ~ 0 ~ ~

A/N:
There is more to come. It's been so long since I've written anything for Saiyuki but after getting back into it this was constantly circling in my head, hitting me more often than Sanzo's fan hits Goku.

And no. Goku isn't really dead. I'm not that mean.

Also- if you leave me a review telling me that you want one of my old Saiyuki fics to be redone – let me know. I'm thinking of maybe revising "The Lost Little Boy" as that's one of my favourites.