Pa'far Chp 01
The world is awash in a winter storm ravaging the Cascade's. I'm lost and driving down a dirt road, lost in the storm battled woods. The trees bend and break onto the road. I swerve dodging the deadly limbs. Thought of why I should try to avoid fate. The headlights shrink from the onslaught of Mother Nature. Rain begins to rise up mud soaked, to coat the windshield. The wipers begin to stick and streak rather than clear. I try to muscle the car around a crashing tree limb.
Rain pounds my face, sharp jabs, stun my brain. The world is upside down. I hang in the last grip of the seat belt. Dad's going to be pissed I wrecked the car. Oh, great another step to military school in Michigan. It's best if I die here in the wrecked ruins of my life. Alone in the woods. Alone in life, alone in my soul. Tears rundown my brow. I see mom, Ella, walking towards me. I fade out, letting the night claim me again, sure I will never wake.
Xxxxx
The sun light breaks thru rag-cloth drapes. I try to sit up, but my body revolts. I lay back down. Where am I? my eyes can't seem to focus, everything is a blur. The pain seeps in, I fade back to sleep.
Strange dreams of a brown hair goddesses holding me, singing to me, touching my scars and healing me. I smile in the dream into deep blue eyes, so big and perfect. she dances me, leading me thru meadows of flowers. Happy as children with copper hair with blue eyes race about us.
The heat of the sun on my face wakes me, I feel a cool cloth draped over my face. Letting the coolness, wake me. I feel a spoon to my lips. A warm savory soup, quiets my stomach and revives my strength. I let the cooling touch and hot soup relax me. I dream Ella is feeding me. I stroke her brown hair, silky and fine. Like I did as a boy, while she laid drugged on the couch.
I wake as the last vestige of day retreats into dusk. I feel her cool hands touching my brow. I focus my eyes on a petite girl with deep blue eyes. Soul crushing blue orbs. They warp the world to just us. I wonder why? Why her hand on my chest is soothing and not painful. I flash on the past, recent and dark. I let the night's darkness cover my eyes, fading me into peaceful sleep.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Eliana slaps my face, then sucks my cock. Later she spells out how to get sex from her. I rebel, can I let someone beat me, even for sex. I ponder the choices. I give it a try. She beat the crap out of me. I lay on the cold floor of her torture chamber.
My eyes focus on the red toy car under the couch in the hell hole I lived in with Mom. The vision changes to me looking at her eyes, vacate, drugged out. But the pain and sorrow seep thru her eyes to me. I remember laying on the floor, beaten and burned. Looking at her, begging for food, love, for safety from the pimp.
I fade, jerking awake. I see myself as my mother, beaten and dead on the floor. I try to roll away, stand, do anything. It's impossible. I just lay there staring at myself in the reflections of the wall mirrors. Broken in body and soul; withering in the last moments of my mind. I've become Ella.
"Aghhh!" the bitch just kicked my ribs.
"Get up and go home, remember tell no-one or next time it will be worse. Remember I have pictures of your submission. Behave and next time I'll fuck your brains out." She coldly turns and leaves. I lay there awhile longer. Slowly, I crawl to the whipping bench, dragging myself up. I stare at the boy, bloodied and bruised in the reflections of the room. I have become nothing. I wander out into the night.
I stagger the four-miles home. I simply don't have the energy to crawl up the rope to my room. I just collapse in a lounge chair on the patio. Watching the dawn break behind me; sunlight chases the waves sparkling like million diamonds and fading shadows across the lake. I realize that I can't continue to be a victim. I can't take being beaten, I won't become my Mother.
Grace finds me crying on the patio; broken I cling to her. Holding her tight to my body. I unleash the decade of fears and pain. Letting myself fade away to sleep. The last thoughts, why did I let Elliana beat me.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I wake to Mom and Dad arguing over me. I'm in my bed, my body bandaged. I stare at my letterman's jacket on the chair at my desk. I know; I left it bundled under the bed in Eliana's sex room. How did it get here?
They notice I'm awake. The heated argument explodes in words I can't take back. Words hurtful and brutal has I burn the last rope binding me to this family. Abandon and alone adrift in the world; I simply stare out the window at the lake, waves are chaotic as the winds whip them about the shore. A massive storm is brewing off the coast. Soon to crash into the city and mountains. Like my life in this family.
I escape from the house, steal the family car. Heading to the apple farm of my grandparents. I must escape the city. I must get to the farm. I must get lost and die.
Xxxxxxxxxx
I wake to sunlight peeking into the room. I feel a warm body cradled in my arms. Soft breathes on my neck. A mop of brown lush's hair encases me. The soft hair caresses my face. Leaving me sated and calmed. I wonder why?
The sunrays creep across the window sill. She stirs, stretching and kissing my neck. I move her hair, cradle her face and kiss her sweet lips. She deepens the kiss, crawling over me, straddling my stomach. I can't get enough of her. She is everything I need. Everything I want.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Later, I lay abed as she cooks breakfast. She walks over. Young, very young. I wonder as the stupid words escapes my lips, "How old are you?"
She smirks at me. "A gentleman would never ask such a question." She shakes her hips. "I'm older than a mouse and younger than the mountain. I'm just right for here and now." She sits and we eat. She looks happy and sexy. I wish I could touch her.
She takes my hand and lays it on her shoulder. Leaning in, we kiss. I drag her against me, feeling her perky breasts and heated loins. I feel my cock rock hard as she strokes me thru the sheet and blanket. I swivel laying her beside me. Soon we are naked and nothing stands between us. I stare into her eyes. lost in the moment. She nods; my world explodes in brilliant and vibrant colors and music, heavenly music.
She licks my neck and nibbles on my ear. I worship her neck and breasts. We are soon poised to have sex. She steels herself as I enter her, she gasps and locks me to her. I worry I've hurt her. She holds me for a long time. Then she slowly rocks and rides me. We pace and explode; again, and again till blissful sleep and dreams transport us away from the world, the families, the pain.
Xxxxxxxxx
Dusk wakes us. Cleaning up, I walk about for the first time in days. She helps steady me about the small cabin. I sit and read a worn paperback about Japs bombing Pearl Harbor. "From Here to Eternity", the book says a future blockbuster movie is in the works. I wonder if it was made.
She sits on the bed, reading a thick book about proper English society. Madding Crowd or something like that. I can't focus on the tome, while this delightful girl, in a long night shirt; knees poking out the sides. Reading, engrossed in the words, emotions flirt and flee across her face. An open book my Mother would say. Open to me. she looks up, licks her lips and leans over kissing me. I drift into neverland as she reads to me.
The thought of mom, brings the words and insults of our last conversation. I cry. Startled by Anna's embrace, I unleash my pain, confess my sin's. I let the burden, the beast escapes the cage I keep it in. I let the girl with deep blue eyes carry me from hell to heaven.
Later in the dark, we whisper the words and thoughts beyond our years. Our whispered thoughts, demons, deepest secrets encase us in the cocoon of our exiled existence. We wake so much younger than yesterday. I walk outside as the morning twilight fades into daylight.
Walking about the rain soaked glen, a view of the distance Mt. Rainer to the south. Glacier peak is to the north according to signs nailed on the tree, next to a propane tank. Turning to the small cabin, it's modern, expensive. New? I never questioned the indoor plumbing, or the lights. Where am I, and why is Anna here alone?
Xxxxxxxxxxx
I stare outwards across the mountains, as a steaming cup of tea is placed in my hands. I feel her arms encase me, tenderly on my battered body. We stare out into the ethereal green woods of the Wenatchee Forest from the shoulder of Mt. David. Letting the dawn creep towards the far distance Sound. I can't gain the courage to ask the questions. Fearing the answers. My body is short circuited by her sweet caress and tea scented breathe.
After we eat, we lay in the last vestiges of early fall's warm sun. Soon the snows will blanket the range. But for now, we lay naked in the warm rays, on a blanket among the tree needles of the evergreen covered mountains. William's sonnets echo about us. Taking turns finding ones to tease and caress the other. Watching the Sun change our sickly skin. Anna is very pale, much too pale. I wonder why?
Later she teaches me to cook, making grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. We read the afternoon away. Soon night will chase us into bed and each other arms. I wonder what tomorrow will bring, worse what returning to the world will cost us. I hold her tighter. Letting the night wrap us in the blissful ignorance of our future.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The dawn herald's a rainy day. We huddle in the bed, reading and just touching. I find her skin a wonderland of sensations and thrills. She chases every demon of my past away. I just lay here in the cabin surrounded by the evergreen woods of Mt. David. For the first time in my life; I feel happy, loved, and accepted. It's strange that after all the things in my life. I start to feel normal.
A-pov
I stare at the boy in my bed. New, raw emotions surge thru me. I need him, want him. I must have him. The world is bright in his love. I cuddle deeper in his embrace. Pondering the recent past.
Two week earlier:
Carla is pissed that I refused to date her perfect picked, acceptable choice for my first boyfriend. Does she not see the twerp is a pervert, all face and no morals! He tried to stick his hands down my pants the first second the adult left us alone.
The aftermath of Paul Clayton crying on the floor holding his balls. I stomp to my room, grab my copy of Pride and Prejudice. Escaping to my tree house dad built in the ancient oak tree near shore Lake Washington.
Stuck up Medina, in bum-f*%$#k Bellevue Washington. I long for the days back in Tacoma with the nearby university library or Montesano; where sweet Mrs. Moore runs the library. Always handing me a new book to challenge, excite, enlighten me.
The idyllic days of just dad and me. Before Dad's company when ballistic. Before Mom remarried number four. Worse Mom's husband is the newly minted CEO of Fairchild Industries here in Seattle.
So, dad's multimillionaire, Mom fourth husband Adams is multimillionaire. And that makes me the prized trust-fund debutante of the Seattle Social Scene. Skinny, bookworm, 13-year-old Anastasia Steele: debutante? I would cry except Carla would have the most expensive headshrink in Washington state check me out.
I sulk till Mildred comes and gets me. The house has long past gone to bed. The moon is falling towards the horizon. Tomorrow is another school day is the all-girl high school: I must endure freshman boredom. The classes are a joke, the academics goals are preparedness for matrimony.
I beg the adults to let me go at least to Seattle Preparatory High School as a sophomore, which I tested out at; a real college prep high school. But deaf ears hear more than they listen to me. I waste the week hiding in the library, reading real books. Till mom calls me on the carpet for cutting class. How will I ever be a proper debutante if I don't learn social graces. I laugh all the way to my escape place.
I stare and fume at the freshly plant oak tree: where my might old oak once stood, yesterday. The tree is gone, the tree house. My control quickly follows. I stomp back to the house. And start a temper tantrum no one has ever see me do! All of mom's expensive china plates, vases, figurines are smashed and scattered about the house. I sleep locked in the armored SUV in the garage. It takes a locksmith and the jaws of life to pry me out.
Dad come's up from Tacoma to talk with me. I've had enough of Mom and Seattle. But I'm stuck here. period. No amount of begging, demanding or just asking will move me home to Montesano. I'm grounded for the month, and just to make sure they lo-jack me with an ankle locator.
Stewing in my room, I listen on the cell phone. I planted in mom's office. I'm being sent to an out of state all-girl delinquent school. Mom is discussing the corporal punishment, I will endure. I plan my escape.
I will hide away to the old cabin in the woods on Mt. David. My Godfather willed me the cabin, I wish he was still alive, not dead four months now. My first big allowance, I had the old cabin replaced and updated. He would talk some sense into Dad, bully mom. I call a have the cabin stocked up. A car waiting down the road.
A storm is coming in a day or two, perfect cover. I pack my things. Cutoff the lo-jack and walk into the darkness.
Xxxxx
The storm is raging, the trees are bending over breaking. The road must be impassable. Perfect! I strip naked. Neatly set everything in its place. I walk out into the storm, my only possession a bottle of pills guaranteed to end my miserable existence.
The wind whips me about the trail. I stare at the falling limbs, begging God to let one take me. I can't go on in this life. I don't belong here or anywhere.
I stare at the headlights barreling towards me. How the hell did a car show up here. It must be security come to drag me back. Fuck them, as the car dodges a limb and rolls down the hill. Crashing into a tree. Walking down to the upside-down wreck.
I stare at the boy hanging from Mercedes. I gawk at the fallen angel. Adonis, no Michelangelo's david is more like this boy. Perfect. He mumbles his own death wish. But I can't let him. Something about him drags me back into the reality of living. I head back to the cabin, get the ATV wagon and work down to him.
It's a chore getting him back to the cabin. But I manage, it's not till he's in my bed, do I realize I'm still naked. I dress and strip my Adonis. His bandaged bruises speak of some terrible abuse. I remember husband #3 leaving marks like that on me and mom.
I redress the soaked bandages, cuddle up to him. For the first time in years, I sleep peaceful and loved. I wake to a furnace next to me. I feel his brow. He's burning up with fever. Ice his head, clean his body and care for him. On day four, the fever has left, and he stare unseeing at me. I think he may be seriously injured, more than I can care for. I fear he will not live. If he dies I will follow. Without him my existence, my very life is worthless.
The next morning::
I stir, kissing his neck. He cradles my face and kiss my lips. I let the world go and just melt into him. Everything I've dreamed is coming true. Emotions ripple thru us, surrounding us. Making us one. I find myself straddling his groin. I can't get enough of him. He is everything I need and want. My safe harbor in the storm of my life.
The days pass as he gets stronger, I know soon, we must return to the world of Seattle. Christian Grey holds me his arms as we stare out over the visage of my mountains. We are lovers, friends, soulmates. On Monday we will trek back to the world. One more week, in our cocoon of evergreens and mother nature. One more week of heaven. I lean into him, cradled in his arms. Just feeling his love and emotions. Embracing the knowledge that he is mine, forever.