Warning: spanking (hand), language
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or any of the characters. My birthday is coming up, anyone want to gift them to me?
A/N: Set late Series 2.
Serves to fill hc_bingo Card square (prompt: corporal punishment).
Happy Birthday cookielaura!
Her birthday wish: "Anything disciplinary for Jack/Gwen from Torchwood would be awesome. It doesn't have to be long and it can just be a grabbing-by-the-arm-for-a-few-smacks thing if you don't want to do the whole OTK route (though that also would be lovely). No Gwen bashing though as it makes me cry :'("
Gwen is furious.
She could have saved... Jack should have saved... Instead, he grabbed her and held her down as the Tuk'atu consumed the child.
The little boy was within grabbing distance, she could have held on; they both could have held him tight and he would have lived. He was only six, too young to die such a horrible death.
"Jack—"
His voice is filled with ice as he speaks, "Don't."
She's on the verge of tears but holds them back as fury bubbles to the top. This wasn't like Jasmine, he didn't want to go to the alien and he didn't want to die. The alien controlled the boy's bodily movement but she saw the terror in his eyes; his mind raged against the control. The fate of the world didn't depend on this child's death. It was all meaningless…
And Jack just watched him burn.
"Jack—"
"Leave it Gwen." His voice barely a whisper but it leaves no room for argument.
She sits silently in the SUV as Jack drives back to the Hub, the ashes of both the boy and the alien sit in a container in the boot. After the flames consumed the little boy, a white light seemed to flow from him into the alien. At that point Jack shot a round of bullets into the being, and then the flames seemed to travel from the child and engulf the alien as well.
They watched them both burn to ashes.
She turns toward her Captain and opens her mouth to try and get him to talk, open up to her. Instead, she closes her mouth as she sees his every muscle tense, eyes ice cold as they focus on the road.
She grips the sides of her seats, knuckles turning white. She wants to rage at him, at the injustice, the horror she had just seen. Instead she closes her eyes and takes a breath. She doesn't know this man next to her, maybe she never really knew him.
They arrive at the Hub and she silently follows him inside, her muscles stiff from the ordeal. She'll confront him in front of the others, needing their support. He won't be able to shut her up with an audience.
She wonders if he's finally lost the last remnants of his humanity. The Jack she knew wouldn't let a child die needlessly. No decent human would… and Jack, well, Jack's supposed to be more than that, a hero.
In the depths of the Hub, she finds Tosh typing vigorously at her computer station, Owen sequestering himself in the autopsy bay, and Ianto making coffee in the kitchenette. Good, they are all here. Better do this now.
She speaks loudly enough for all to hear, "Jack, talk to us. Why did you let him die? Why didn't you fight for him?"
Jack pauses in front of her; all she can see is his back go rigid.
Tosh pauses her typing but doesn't look up.
Owen peeks out from the autopsy bay, staring.
Ianto hovers by the coffee machine, a distant whirl of the machine the only sound in the vast cavern-like space.
Without turning Jack speaks again, in the same stern whisper, "Gwen, my office."
"No!"
The intensity of her own voice surprises her but she must stay strong. She won't let him make the 'I-am-your-boss-you-will-not-question-me-but-follow-my-orders' speech again. She hopes the others will support her when the time comes.
He turns slowly to face her; his eyes could turn her into an iceberg. "It was too late for him, Gwen. There was nothing I could have done."
"But you didn't even try, Jack! There had to be something!"
His voice could chill a glacier. "What Gwen?"
"We could have saved him and then figured something out to defeat the alien. A six year old boy didn't have to die."
She looks around but the others just linger quietly. Why won't they support her?
"I could have held him down, not let him walk toward his own death but you stopped me!"
She slaps him.
Where the hell did that come from? She's surprised by her own actions as the skin on skin smack still echoes as it circles through the empty space. Her hand tingles from the ferocity of the contact.
Everyone is frozen in place, as if time itself has stopped flowing around them.
Silence.
Jack's growl slices through the stillness, "Gwen, my office. Now!"
"No!" She stands her ground but her voice quivers from uncertainty and maybe a little bit of fear… fine, more than just a little. She's terrified now.
A shadow passes over his eyes and before she can blink he grabs her arm, turns her around so fast her head spins, and spanks her hard three times.
Without hesitation he lets her go and snarls, "Everyone, out! Go home, now! Gwen, not you." He points at her, his face unreadable. "My office, ten minutes and not a second later. Ianto has a stopwatch, borrow it if you must but don't be late."
He turns and calmly, silently saunters to his office.
The door bangs shut.
Gwen looks around, stunned.
Her gaze falls on Tosh who is shutting down her computer, hands shaking and avoiding eye contact. She'll get no help from her friend.
Her eyes move toward Owen and she's not surprised as he smirks at her, a corner of his mouth upturned. He doesn't speak as he puts the body away but she can tell he is laughing at her silently. The bastard.
Lastly she looks at Ianto to find his back turned toward her. He's again fiddling with the coffee machine. Of course, she shouldn't expect any help from him either, Jack's loyal love-sick puppy.
But their rejection still hurts. She was their leader when Jack buggered off with the Doctor. They followed her then. But now that he's back, it's like he never left in the first place. Their loyalty is to him no matter what.
She sighs as her eyes close.
Shivering, she realizes they've all abandoned her. Why'd she had to poke the beast with a stick? And in front of an audience?
Suddenly she feels a calm presence before her. Eyes opening, she sees Ianto standing holding two coffee mugs. A corner of his mouth twitches as he passes her the two cups, "This one is for you and the striped one for Jack. Take it to him when you go up. Oh, and you have three minutes twelve seconds left."
As quickly as he appeared, he's gone the second she takes the coffees into her own hands.
She's all alone.
After putting Jack's coffee down, she inhales the aromatic liquid from her cup. Taking a tentative sip, Gwen moans. The liquid spreads through her veins, relaxing tense muscles and spreading warm calm. In no time her mug is empty.
She starts to dread her meeting with Jack but… she sighs.
Assuming the time has passed she heads upstairs, putting one foot in front of the other slowly, the mug shaking in her hands almost spilling the liquid. This is it, she's either going to get Jack to open up (and she has a good track record for that) or he's finally going to retcon her.
But she won't back down. For the sake of all future alien victims, she can't.
Steeling her resolve, Gwen holds up her head high, takes a long, deep breath, and opens the door.
Jack sits in his chair reading something from files in manila folders. He doesn't even flinch when she enters.
Rustling of papers interrupts the otherwise silent room. Gwen wonders whether she should say something… make her presence known to Jack, as he continues to be engrossed in his paperwork.
After what seems like eternity, she walks up to his desk and places the coffee down, clinking the cup against the old wooden surface. He continues to ignore her completely but at least now she knows he's ignoring her deliberately.
"Jack, I'm sorry but I just can't let this go. A six year old boy died and we should have done something to help him."
Still, Jack ignores her as he flips through another folder open. The simmering anger under the surface boils over and she bangs her hand on the desk spilling a few drops of coffee and shouting, "Jack! You wanted me in your office and I'm here but you're ignoring me. We either talk about this or I go home!"
Her ultimatum makes Jack look up and she takes a step back when she sees his eyes burning with pain, fear, disappointment, sorrow… Quickly they turn cold again and she gasps at the sudden change in his mood.
He folds his hands on top of the desk, his gaze penetrating her soul. When he speaks his voice is even and calm but cold, "You disobeyed a direct order in the field, Gwen. I had to physically restrain you so that it was followed again. Do you think that is acceptable behavior?"
Yes, she disobeyed him… but she went after the boy. How could she have not tried to save him? "Jack, I had to save the boy. I just couldn't stand back and let him die."
Why can't he understand this is only about the boy, about the innocent life lost?
"Gwen, who is the leader here?"
Her mouth opens but no sound comes out… she has no idea where he's going with this question. Finally she manages a weak, "You are."
"Why?"
"W-what?" She hates that he can makes her feel so uncertain, like a lost little girl.
He stands up and walks around his desk to stand directly in front of her. Folding his arms in front of his chest he leans his hip against the edge. She can't help but stare at his gorgeous, long body on display like this. Even fully clothed, he is one sexy man when fully in Captain mode.
His brilliant blue eyes search her face for… something. She wants to give it to him, oh God, she'd give him anything right now. Briefly she wonders when exactly he was able to break her but then his lips move and she's lost again.
"Why am I the leader?"
Red lights flash through her mind. Every cell in her body is screaming that this is a trap but… "You have experience and take on the responsibility of the consequences."
Shit.
His impassive face momentarily flickers into a smirk before becoming blank again. His voice continues to be composed when he speaks again, "So, who should be making the decisions in the field then?"
Oh, no. Not when a boy's life is at stake. "But you sometimes forget how to be human." Her voice grows in confidence, "You hired me to remind you of that."
She almost lets a smile slip, almost, but is able to keep her composure in the end.
Silence thickens the air in the room and suddenly it's hard to breathe. Jack's expression hasn't changed but she feels fury radiating off him in waves.
"You need to learn your lesson, Gwen. Challenge me in the privacy of my office all you want but in the field my orders are the words of a God."
She wants to say something, argue, make him see she was right to fight for that boy but her throat dries and she can't make a sound. She's never seen him this enraged before.
He takes a hard-back wooden chair out of a corner –how had she never noticed it before?—and places it in the middle of the office. He sits and then declares, "You need to be punished for your insubordination but I'll give you a choice, Gwen. You can take a month suspension, no pay. Or you can take a spanking."
What?
Her mind isn't able to keep up with everything… she still doesn't think she needs to be punished. Damnit, she was right to fight for that boy's life!
"You have got to be kidding me."
"No Gwen. Trousers down, over my lap or suspension, your choice."
"No!" She must have backed up because her back is suddenly against the wall.
"Do y-you punish others this way?"
"No." The sides of his mouth turn upwards into an evil grin. "Ianto and Owen have had the cane before for their disobedience."
What?
Her mouth hangs open in disbelief. Did he just say what she thinks he said?
He sighs. "As punishment Gwen. Although Ianto and I sometimes do play… but that's a story for another day. Would you prefer the cane? I was going to be easy on you and use my hand…"
Fuck.
This is really getting out of hand but… but this is Jack. Jack, her Captain, her hero. And if Ianto and Owen… oh fuck! She's really going to do this.
She calms her breathing before taking a few tentative steps forward. She'll do this but she won't apologize and then after he gets this out of his system they can finally talk about it like adults. Then he'll have to apologize to her.
"Fine, spank me." Oh God, did she really just say that? Blush creeps up her cheeks…
Jack gives her that look, the one where his brilliantly blue eyes pierce through every defense, and she stumbles.
"Gwen, trousers down."
"Oh."
Yes, trousers down. She fumbles with the button, hands shaking from nervousness. This is so surreal; she wonders when she'll wake from this dream.
Suddenly, he appears in her personal space and grips her hands with his large, strong fingers. "Steady, Gwen. Trust me?"
"Oh."
Her eyes widen as she stares into his. Jack's hands unbutton her jeans then slowly unzip her fly. His hands burn through her skin as he hooks his fingers under her waistband and all she can think of is his naked body on top of hers. His fingers drag her jeans down her body until they stretch around her knees. She's sure she can feel a wet spot forming on her underwear and hopes he doesn't notice just how turned on this makes her.
Jack squeezes her hand and leads her back to the chair. She waddles behind him, mind blank as his hand provides warmth and comfort. It feels as if she's floating somewhere out of her physical body watching as it follows Jack's every command.
Stumbling, she falls over his lap clumsily as he tries to support her during her descent. Her hands fly out to the ground to find support as he holds her tight. Her eyes focus on ancient stains in the tattered floor. With her arse high in the air, she blushes. Never had she ever been this humiliated. Her parents never spanked her and now her… boss put her in this… position. Oh, God.
He gently places his hand on the small of her back and presses down. "Steady, Gwen." His soothing voice calms her overactive neurons. She settles into his lap wanting this to be over. Now.
He caresses her arse through the knickers she wishes she wore something sexy instead of the 'granny panties' but she hadn't had time to do the laundry. And they are more comfortable when fighting aliens. Feeling the heat through the thin material she ponders the intimacy of this position; if she just moved a little that way maybe she could feel his…
Shit!
The first spank comes down hard and she recoils, trying to move away from the blow. But he holds her tight, steady against the onslaught as his hand falls down again and again and again.
Before she realizes it, tears are falling down her face… sobs escaping her throat… snot plummeting from her nose.
Jack stops.
His hand massages her behind soothing the worst of the pain. Is it over? She regains her composure as her eyes dry out.
He speaks calmly, "Gwen, you said it yourself I am the leader because I have the experience. When I make decisions in the field, I take the responsibility of the consequences on myself."
He smacks down hard on her left cheek as she lets out an audible sob. "The boy was lost the minute the Tuk'atu formed a psychic link with him. His insides started to boil that very moment. There was nothing…" He smacks her right cheek. "…that anyone could have done." He hits her again in the center to emphasize his point. "Nothing."
He continues to spank her a few more times, hard blow after blow in quick succession and she starts whimpering. "Oh, Gwen… if you had even touched the boy…" His voice fades away as his hand soothes her behind.
Her name nothing but a sigh on his lips, "Gwen…"
Then Jack continues.
The blows fall in different spots on her arse increasing in intensity and she doesn't think she can take much more. The brutal assault of her behind has her yelling out in Welsh, cursing Jack's existence, as the tears and sobs and snot break free again. The throbbing pain radiates through her every cell.
Through the confusion and haze and agony she hears a broken voice. "I could have lost you. If you had touched him, you'd have died. Died, Gwen!"
Oh shit.
She didn't know… Oh God, she didn't know.
Her cries die down as silent tears drip from her eyes.
She just didn't… didn't know.
She could have… would have died… if not for…
Oh God.
Silently she grieves for the boy as the fragility of her own life hits her. She doesn't even notice when the spanks stop and the soothing hand is back, relieving her pain.
She could have died… died.
She would have left Jack alone… and Rhys alone… and oh God, she'd be dead.
Jack lifts her body into his lap and wraps his sturdy arms around her, holding her tight. His fingers caress her arms as his face hides in her hair. He speaks with a broken, muffled voice, "I can't l-lose you, G-gwen. Not yet. I n-need you. P-please, you need to listen in the field." The last sentence comes out as barely a whisper, "I still n-need you."
She feels wetness dripping down her forehead and realizes he's crying. They sit for eternity clinging to each other as their tears intermingle. Together they fall down her cheeks and onto his shirt creating a wet puddle.
But neither cares.