This! The short 3 chappie Valentine's Story I should have been done with WEEKS ago! YAY! but sorry...too busy watchign the Hidan show on YouTube...Look it up sometime! it's by aug325!
"Your mission is to go check out the activity in Yumagakure. Take Tobi with you. He's getting on our nerves." Deidara thought of the words the Akatsuki Leader, Pein, had said to him. He sighed to himself. He understood the mission, but how could Pein stick him with Tobi? He was such an ADD deject. Deidara continued walking through the dirt path of Yumagakure trying to ignore Tobi's random sayings and his constant ~sempais~. Why couldn't he just check out the 'activity' himself? The activity they were checking out was the jutsu fair.
Ninjas from all over gathered in Yumagakure to exchange techniques of sorts. Pein wanted them to check some of them out. Why couldn't he send someone else? Well, he couldn't send Hidan because this was his town. Kakuzu wouldn't come unless he was getting paid. Itachi was too busy being emo, and Kisame wouldn't come without Itachi. Zetsu would…eat people. Sasori refused to come out of his workshop. Konan seduced Pein, so she didn't have to come. Pein was just too damn lazy. Deidara, well, he was just the she-male whom everyone took advantage of. Of course he could go! Deidara mumbled angrily.
"~sempai~!!! Why so angry, huh? Oop! You're probably mad because you got sent to Yumagakure!"
Deidara glared at the orange masked buffoon. He was so tempted to grab some clay. Tobi danced around him.
"Tobi hit the money, didn't he? I KNEW IT!! It's alright ~sempai~. At least you've got me!"
Deidara groaned loudly at that. That was the main reason he was so bummed! They continued to walk. Tobi ran over to a stand.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Look at this! ~sempai~!!!"
Deidara reluctantly walked over to where Tobi was. They were scrolls for super secret techniques. Deidara raised a brow when he saw them. Tobi skipped around like a kid who just got a bag full of candy. Deidara knocked him down and stared at the scrolls intently. They looked so beautiful folded up on the bright blue and purple table they sat on.
"Are you interested?" The seller asked. Deidara nodded.
"What are they, un?"
"Super secret."
"Yes, but what are they, un?"
"Heh heh heh. You'll have to buy to try."
Deidara stared up at the wrinkly faced old man. He had a smirk on his face. Deidara pointed at the man.
"You're trying to con me, hm." He said with a tone. The man shook his head.
"I would never lie about super secret techniques." He snickered. Deidara tapped his chin. Tobi hopped up, nearly giving Deidara a heart attack.
"TOBI THINKS YOU SHOULD BUY ONE!!!!!!!!!" He shouted. Then he danced around begging Deidara to buy one. The seller winked at Deidara.
"Yer little friend is a smart one. Go on, kid. Buy one."
Deidara gulped. Did he really want to? He reached out to grab one but pulled his hand back. He repeated this until Tobi got serious.
"Sempai?"
Deidara looked at Tobi. He waited in silence for Tobi to say something. He jumped up and down.
"BUY TWO!!!!!"
"That's the spirit!" The seller laughed.
"PLEASE, don't encourage him, un." Deidara groaned. It was getting really hard to think now. Tobi kept up his dancing while the seller laughed. People all around them chattered. Deidara covered his ears. He finally exploded and grabbed two random scrolls.
"I'll take these, un!!!" He said. The seller bagged them up, took, the money, and laughed.
"All sales are final!" He said shooing them away. Deidara looked at the scrolls in his hand.
OMG…un…what did I just do…? He thought.
"Yippee!! ~sempai~ brought two scrolls! Pein will be so happy!"
Deidara froze. He wasn't looking forward to this homecoming.
"YOU DID WHAT!??!?!??!!!!!!!?!?!!?!?!!?!!" The booming voice of Pein shook the whole base. Deidara tapped his fingers nervously. He was afraid to make eye contact with the shadowy leader. Tobi was hiding behind Deidara. Pein put his hand on his head and breathed in and out.
"I tell you to go check out the fair, and you come back with two scrolls that you have no clue about?"
"Erm…y-yes, u-un?" Deidara said closing his eyes.
"I won't say anything…I won't say anything…I won't- HOW COULD YOU BE SO DAMN STUPID!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!!!!!!" Pein yelled again.
"Pein, go easy on him. He's a kid. He got conned. It happens." Konan walked into the room. Deidara looked at her, looked at Pein, and nodded hard. Pein sighed.
"Okay, fine. Maybe I was being hard on Deidara (not really). Fine, you're off the hook Deidara, but you have to keep those scrolls and find out what they do."
That's easy enough un, Deidara thought with a smile. Pein pushed him out of his office.
"Wait! Pein! Tobi wants to talk to you!"
"Tobi, who even let you in Akatsuki?"
"Leader let Tobi in Akatsuki because he's a good boy!"
Pein banged his head on the door frame quickly and looked back at Tobi. Tobi saw the thin blood line running down Pein's face, but he just took it as a warning to leave.
Deidara had locked himself in his room. He put the scrolls on his desk and stared at them. What did they do? He could just open them. He grabbed one. Just as he peeled it, he set it back down quickly. He exhaled. Why couldn't he do this? It was so simple. Open, look, report. That was all. He picked it up again. This time he did open it. Pheromoa-jutsu…for clay users. Deidara smiled. This wasn't so bad especially if it utilized his art. So, what did he have to do? The picture on the scroll showed a heart. A heart? Make a heart with his clay? Easy!
Deidara took a wad of clay out of a jar he had sitting on his desk. His hand gladly accepted the clay and chewed on it diligently until it was ready to be formed. He made the heart. Okay, so now what? Fill the heart with special pink chakra? How do you get that? He tapped his chin. He looked at the other scroll. Maybe, just maybe…He took and opened it. Pink chakra…to complete Pheramoa-jutsu. Deidara smiled again. He was good at picking scrolls. This scroll said…think peace, quiet, tranquility and let it control your chakra. Um…weird, but okay. Deidara concentrated on happy thoughts. He had to fill the heart, so he put his hands on it. The chakra flowed through the clay to fill the heart up. Success! The heart glowed pink. Deidara smiled at his success.
"Awesome, un! I did it!" He stared at the pink thing. How did it work? He looked at it from all different angles. Hmm…still nothing. (Gee, Deidara, why not look at the scroll?) Deidara pondered this. The door to his room swung open. Tobi ran in and jumped behind Deidara's bed.
"TOBI! What did you do, un?"
"Tobi was in Konan's room! Tobi sprayed some perfume on himself! ZETSU CAME AFTER ME!!!!!!!" He cried. Deidara froze. Zetsu? Was coming here? For Tobi?
"Get out of my room, un!!" He yelled frantically. Tobi shook his head. Konan came into the room and grabbed Tobi.
"You used my special perfume!! I'll kill you!!!" She yelled choking Tobi.
"B-b-but…T-T-obi's…a…g-good…boy!!" He said between gasps for air. Deidara looked at them both, but was worried about Zetsu. When he got hungry…shit happened. Kisame pushed Itachi into the room. They both took a deep breath.
"Zetsu's gone CRAZY!"
Deidara really got scared now. Kakuzu ran in the room with Hidan's head. Deidara swallowed hard.
"What happened to Hidan?" He asked in a low voice.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED!? THAT FUCKING PLANT ATE MY BODY!"
"I grabbed Hidan's head off his body before Zetsu could eat it too. All the while he said 'where's Tobi?'"
Tobi let out a yelp. Pein slid into the room with Kein and Dein and Sein. They closed the door behind them.
"WHO MADE ZETSU HUNGRY!!!!!?" They yelled angrily. Everyone pointed to Tobi who was still being choked by Konan.
"We're hungry!" Zetsu said from behind the door. Everyone let out a shriek.
"No one panic." Pein said shakily. Zetsu knocked on the door. Pein shrieked again.
"Okay, everyone panic! We're going to die!!"
Deidara looked at them and at his heart. Pein looked at Deidara. When he saw the clay, he smiled.
"Deidara, you can save us all. You just have to detonate that clay you've got right there, right?"
"Detonate it, hm?" Deidara blinked. Why hadn't he thought of that before? All he had to do was blow it up! Well, it was a good thing he hadn't because now he needed it to save everyone's lives. Zetsu broke open the door.
"GET IN MY BELLY!!!!!!!!!!!"
"HOLY SHIT!!! DEIDARA!!!!!" Everyone yelled. Deidara put his hands together and… BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!