Realisations
Stephanie POV
"I can't do this anymore." I whispered against his lips. Ranger and I were back in the alley, doing what has lately become a routine – fondling and kissing, always in the shadows, always hiding. I am tired of it. Morelli and I have been done for three months and nothing has changed with Ranger.
"What babe?" he murmured as he nibbled against my neck. I gently pushed him away to look into his eyes.
"You don't want me in your life, then I'm not going to force myself into it, but I have the right to an open, healthy relationship. I always seem to force you into telling me tibits of information. I had to follow the GPS before I found out that you were the owner of a security company and a band of Merry Men. I don't know where you live, I met your parents only because you were hurt and your daughter because she was kidnapped. I've never been welcome to openly ask questions about your life and you know what – keep your secrets, I don't want to know. I'm done with this bullshit." I was in tears by the end of my speech.
Ranger seemed to be in shock, his mouth hanging open as he tried to form a coherent thought.
"Babe…" he seemed to be pulling himself back together "You know I love you… I just find it difficult to voluntarily give out my personal information. You know I'm a very private man…" his words drifted off.
My eyes flashed in anger as I countered his argument "Three years, you've known me for three years. We've slept together twice, kissed countless times, solved many cases together and you still don't trust me with your privacy. Where does that leave me?"
He groaned as he rubbed his hands over his chiselled face "May I remind you that for the past three years you've been on and off and on and off and on and off countless times with Morelli. Am I supposed to take home a woman who belongs to another man to meet my parents?"
I was close to my breaking point by now and knew that if I spoke above a whisper I would break down right in front of him "I thought you considered me your friend at the very least. How many times have you been to my parent's house for dinner? How many times have you picked the lock to my apartment and let yourself in? You want me to bare my soul in front of you while you hide under your man of mystery mask? I don't even know your favourite foods or your favourite colour, your favourite movie, actor, singer, author. The list goes on. You know every intimate detail about my life. Frankly I deserve better." I sighed, this is an uphill battle and I'm getting exhausted, we are getting nowhere.
Ranger looked as if he was about to explode "I have lent you cars, men, money, jobs every time you needed it. I provide you security and safety… what more can I do? Sing love sonnets? Show up with a ring in one of your 'off' phases?"
"I've never wanted your money, all I ever wanted was your attention…you. I guess that's asking too much." I looked down at the dirty pavement. I was tired of all the back and forth I want to settle down, not with marriage and babies, but at least a stable relationship. I deserve that and so does he. I guess I'm growing up.
"You've always had me." He lifted my chin to meet his intense gaze
"No, I've never had you. I've had Ranger, I've never had Carlos. I don't want the mask, I want the man." I finally realised how much time of my life I had wasted pining after him. It's time to make some changes, changes hurt but eventually the hurt heals and fades away. I turned away from him afraid he'd see the misery on my face at the thought of having to let him go.
"Babe" he whispered pleadingly at my back.
"Did you realise that I call you by your work name because I'm afraid that if I try to get closer than you might run away from me. How pathetic am I? I love you with all my heart, but I can't do this. I want someone who can give all of themselves to me, not just parts. I hope I find that one day." With that I walk away, unaware of the tears pouring down my cheeks.
XXX00XXX
I felt him before I saw him as he entered my bedroom, unannounced and for once unwelcome. I met his gaze as he stood in my doorway, his bulky figure blocking the light from the hallway. I pulled my blanket over my chest, well aware of how dangerous his gaze can be.
He moved closer and sat on my bed, pulling my uncovered feet into his lap and gently massaging the sole.
Keeping his gaze on my feet he kept up his massage as he talked "You are the closest anyone has ever been to me emotionally. You already know that I find it difficult to share information about myself. This might sound stupid and completely ruin my image but the truth is that I'm afraid, afraid that if the mystery is gone, you'll no longer find me interesting. You'll move onto someone else." He was silent once again, then almost as if in a trance he continued "I cherish every moment I spend with you. I keep trying to find excuses to call you, see you, touch you… kiss you. I have never been in a relationship and I know that we already have a relationship whether we accept it or not. I will try to open up more if you are still willing to give me a chance. Please give me a chance babe, please." His looked towards me pleadingly as he made his case. The moisture in his eyes made me want to pull him into my arms and never let go.
I sat up and moved towards him on the bed. "If I agree will that mean that we will be publically dating?"
"Yes." He stated simply
"You will answer questions, even voluntarily let me know bit about yourself?"
"You may have to push me a bit, but I will try as open up more."
"That's all I ask for." I looked down, suddenly feeling shy "Can I call you Rick?"
"Babe" he growled and pounced onto me, kissing like there's no tomorrow. I took that to be yes. I already had Batman, now I get Bruce Wayne and I couldn't be happier.
XXXOOXX
This story is a stand-alone. This is the result of me procrastinating instead of doing my work, I hope you like it. Please review
I will update Unexpected Encounters soon (hopefully) but please have patience I'm in university now, and free time seems to not exisit…
All mistakes are mine but the characters are not, so just ignore the mistakes, it's a pain to edit chapters after they've been uploaded. Have a great day!