AN: Okay so this is my first time writing a OTH fanfic and I'm really excited. This One-shot is based of the song "I Never Told You" by Colbie Caillat
Hope you guys like it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
I Never Told You
Haley squeezed her eyes shut as she fought the dream unconsciously, knowing she would wake up soon enough. And the dreams of her hero, past hero, were haunting her mind as she tossed and turned restlessly in her sleep.
"Nathan," she sighed, the name a whisper on her lips as she slept, wanting to hold onto the version of him in her dream for much longer then she knew was possible.
And then it was over, just as she had known it would be. His touch, his scent, his voice, which had all seemed so real in her dream, were gone as she opened her eyes, the bright light streaming through the window waking her.
She gave herself a mental kick in the head for dreaming about him again, even though she really couldn't help it. Every night it was the same; he'd be there and in the dream she'd be perfectly content with their past selves, but her subconscious always knew she would wake up and it kept her from enjoying the blissful dream, because it was just that— a dream, and even when she was asleep she knew that.
To be fair, it had only started up a few weeks ago, after months of silence from him. It annoyed her to no end that she dreamed about him, about the good him, and all she got when she woke up was a painful reminder that he wasn't the same man he had once been, and she was no longer the blissfully naïve girl that he had fallen in love with.
She knew pain now; the pain of heart break, the pain of losing your first love.
"Haley Bob!" Brooke's voice called from downstairs followed by the slamming of a front door. Haley pushed herself up on the pillows as she heard Brooke walk through the apartment and open her door without so much as a knock. "Haley. . ." she trailed off, seeing the distant look in her best friend's eyes. "You had a dream about him again, didn't you?"
Haley had confessed to Brooke that she'd been having dreams about Nathan almost a week ago.
"Yeah."
"Was it dirty this time?" Brooke asked, trying to keep the mood light.
Haley shook her head, obviously not amused. It would make her feel better if she did have a dirty dream about Nathan. Then it would be the physical part she was craving, not the mental.
"Haley, you've got to stop this," Brooke started.
"I can't!" she said. "I can't control my dreams Brooke!"
"I know," Brooke said calmly. "I meant the sulking and pining part."
"I am not pining!"
"You are. Otherwise you would brush of the dreams and just think of them as dreams instead of some kind of spiritual message."
"I do not—"
"Yes you do," Brooke cut her off. "It's understandable. He left and you never told him how you really felt after that night. And now you're having doubts about it."
"I'm not having doubts about it," Haley mumbled. "It was the right thing to do. We weren't good together."
"Yeah, you were perfect together," Brooke snorted and Haley shot her an annoyed look. "What? You were. I've told you how I feel about this. You shouldn't have let him go."
"Well I did," Haley said stubbornly. "And what's done is done."
"Maybe you should change what's done," Brooke suggested.
"Brooke. It's not like he care about me, like he every cared about me, to him it was nothing more than a fling, you know that."
"Haley he was like your best friend for three years, he wouldn't think of you like that," she insisted.
"Well obviously he does. Have you read the tabloids Brooke? He's got a different girl every week and he tossed them like you toss last season's clothes," she declared, throwing the covers of her body.
"The tabloids aren't always right," Brooke said quietly.
"That's true. But Brooke, pictures don't lie."
"They do if they're photo shopped."
"Whatever," Haley brushed it off knowing that the tabloids were in fact correct. "Why are you so pro-Nathan anyway? Shouldn't you be on my side?"
"I am on your side," Brooke said immediately. "I'm defending Nathan because I know the guy, as do you, he isn't really like that. And I want you to realize that you two are perfect for each other."
Haley glared at the girl she called her best friend.
"He hasn't even tried to call," Haley said. "If that doesn't say 'I never want to talk to you again' I don't know what does."
"Haley," Brooke said. "The boy practically told you he was in love with you and you got scared and lied to him about how you felt! So either you quit complaining and deal with the dreams or you get off your sorry ass and go tell him!"
Haley knew Brooke was angry at her for acting the way she did. It was her fault and yet she still complained about it to Brooke, and Brooke was right, she needed to get over him.
"Fine," she muttered willingly not rising her own temper. "I'll quit complaining."
"Oh no," Brooke said. "You aren't getting off the hook that easily. You're going to call him."
"But you said—"
"I lied," Brooke said easily. "That was for dramatic effect," she pulled the phone next to Haley's bed and pressed it into the blonde girl's palm. "Call him."
"I can't," Haley said. "Brooke. He would laugh at me."
"No he won't."
"He will," Haley said convinced. "He's not the same guy anymore Brooke. He's got a life, he's a super star, he's not the Nathan Scott we used to know."
"Yes he is," Brooke insisted, pressing the phone harder into Haley's hand. "He still loves you, I'm sure of it."
"Then why did he leave?"
"Don't give me that Haley," Brooke said in an annoyed voice. "You told him you didn't feel the same way and practically kicked him into the NBA. He would have stayed for you if you'd asked. You know that."
"No he wouldn't have," Haley protested.
"Haley, call the damn number."
"No."
"Haley."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Fine, I'll do it," Brooke snatched the phone back. Her fingers quickly darted around the phone pad and before she could protest Brooke had the phone held up to Haley's ear and it started to ring.
"Brooke!" Haley hissed, trying to push it away and hang up before he answered.
"Nope, Haley! Haley! Stop it!" she yelled as he girl started to claw at her.
"Hello?" a deep familiar male voice answered and Brooke and Haley realize one of them had accidently put it on speaker.
Haley quickly went silence and looked at Brooke with a glare and shoved the phone in her direction.
Brooke scowled and took it then said, "Hey, Nathan?"
"Brooke?" he asked, clearly surprised. "What do you want?"
"No need to be so rude," she snapped. "I wasn't the one calling," she said, looking pointedly at Haley.
"Oh," Nathans said with a pause. "Then who is?"
"Hay—" Haley reached over tackling the phone away from Brooke and quickly hitting the hang up button. She breathed a sigh of relief.
"Haley!"
"I can't do it Brooke," she said. "I can't."
"Yes you can, and you will—" Brooke was cut off by the ring of the telephone. "Now or never," she said, looking at the caller idea. "Haley the only way you're going to feel better is if you talk to him."
Haley sighed, before realizing Brooke was right. The least she had to do was talk to him.
"Hey, Nathan?" she answered.
"What just happened?" he asked.
"Oh, nothing Brook just tripped when she was walking to give me the phone, sorry." Brooke glared at her before getting up and leaving the room, giving Haley her privacy.
"Oh," Nathan said, and she couldn't tell if he believed her or not. "So why are you calling?" he asked and she could tell that he was slightly annoyed.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I shouldn't have, I know—"
"Haley," he cut her off before her rambling could start. "Get to the point."
"I wanted to see how you were," she lied, not willing to tell him why. Hey Nathan Brooke's forcing me to call you because I've been having dreams about us for the last month and a half, no. Not happening.
"Really?" he asked. "Seven months after I left. Now you give me a social call?" His voice was surly and annoyed and she knew he didn't want to talk to her.
"You didn't try and call me either," she replied, choosing to retort then to let his sour tone hurt her feelings.
He laughed bitterly. "Whose fault is that?" he was about to continue before Haley answered the rhetorical question.
"Yours."
"No," he said. "It's yours. You're the one who pretty much told me to get lost? Did you really think I knew I was supposed to call you?"
"I never said I thought you were supposed to call Me."
"You didn't have to."
"Nathan—"
"Why are you calling me Haley?" he asked. Haley took a breath, trying to get more oxygen to her head to think more clearly. The truth was, even the sound of his voice was making her thoughts go fuzzy and she couldn't think properly.
She mustered up enough courage to say, "I missed you."
And what did he do at her confession? He laughed. She knew he would laugh.
"Funny one Haley," he said dryly and she noticed he'd called her Haley, instead of her cherished nickname. Funny one Hales, she could practically hear it in her head.
When she didn't answer he said, rather impatiently, "Why are you telling me this now?"
"I. . ." Keep having these weird dreams about is. No, Haley thought to herself; let's let him think I'm actually sane. "I really don't know."
"I really don't know," he mimicked and Haley could hear the dry sarcasm in his voice. "That isn't an answer Haley. Tell me why you're really calling."
"I do miss you," she protested, and she knew it was the truth and hoped he did to. "That is why I'm calling you," she said, and it was partly the truth.
"Seven months," Nathan said again. "Seven months of silence."
"How do you think I feel?" she asked, her feeling hurt because she thought of it the same way but the opposite way round.
"I wouldn't know," he said coolly. "It's not like you've called to check in or anything."
"It's not like you have!"
"I call Lucas once a week to make sure you're okay," he admitted in a flat voice and for the first time Haley could hear how much she'd hurt him and how much he wasn't over her.
"Really?" She squeaked, unable to think of anything else to say.
"Yes," he sighed. "Haley is this going to take any longer? I'm busy."
Maybe he didn't care as much as she started to think.
"Sorry for interrupting your day."
"Tell me why you didn't call before," he ordered out of the blue. Haley thought he sounded exactly like the old Nathan, her Nathan. He said it just the way he would have said 'Tell me what's wrong' if she were upset.
"Nathan—"
"Don't give me an excuse Haley. I want the truth."
"I didn't think I knew you anymore," she answered simply. It was the truth, even if it was only part of it. "I thought you changed into a completely different person."
"Why would you think that?"
"Because of the news Nathan. Do you see the things they write about you?"
"You believed them?"
"Not at first. I didn't think you could be like that . . . but the pictures Nathan and when you were on TV with another girl almost always draping over you."
He laughed humorlessly. "Why would you care? It's not like you cared when I want to be with you."
"Nathan. . ."
"What?" he answered irritably.
"I did want to be with you," she admitted after taking a long breath.
This time Nathan's tone was curious and stunned, "what?"
"I loved you then too. I was just. . ."
"Just? Just wanted to break my heart," his voice was stony again. "Again."
"No!" she took a breath. "Nathan I loved you then, and I didn't say so because I was scared. I'd never been in love before; it scared the hell out of me so when you told me how you felt I sent you packing. It's my fault your like this. It's my fault, that you hate me," she mumbled, a few quiet tears traveling down her cheeks. "And I deserve it."
There was tiny glimmer of hope that he might say something like, of course it wasn't your fault. It was mine. But that was a very slim chance.
"You're telling me this now?" he said.
"Better late than never, right?" she asked, trying to joke but it fell flat on the tip of her tongue.
"Are you kidding me?" Nathan choked out something that sounded similar to a laugh. "How the hell am I supposed to move on knowing that you did, at one point love me back?"
"You're not," she felt braver then she had before as she said the next words, "don't move on. Come back to me."
She held her breath as she waited for his reply, only to be met with silence. After a few seconds she called, "Nathan? You there?"
There was no answer and she glanced at the phone, only to see he'd hung up. And then she felt defeated, as though she'd given all her effort and ended up losing anyway. He's hung up on her because he wanted nothing to do with her.
And she really didn't know how to accept that.
"Hales?" Brooke called from the other side of the door. "You done?"
"Yeah," she choked back, wiping her tears and trying not to sob.
Brooke opened the door and took one look at Haley before wrapping the other girl in her arms.
"Hales," she said comfortingly, calmingly. "What happened?"
"Like you were listening to every word?"
Brooke laughed softly. "I didn't hear what Nathan said."
"You were wrong," Haley said. "He doesn't want anything to do with me. He laughed."
Haley sat in bed for the rest of the day and the next, Brooke and Peyton happily keeping her company as the watched chick flicks on the TV at the foot of her bed.
There was knock on the outside apartment door and Peyton quickly shot up to get it. "I'll get it!" She said, walking quickly into the other room.
Haley and Brooke hear muffled voice from the other room before Peyton came back in, dragging Lucas, her boyfriend behind her.
"Hey Hales," Lucas said to her, smiling at her, instantly wrapping her in a brotherly hug.
"Hey Luke," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder.
"You shouldn't mope," Lucas said, briefly touching the red rings around her eyes. "It's not a good look for you."
"I know," she sniffled. "Sorry."
"Don't apologize," he ordered. "Brooke, Peyton can we have a sec alone?"
"Sure," Brooke said, standing up and stretching. "I gotta go see Julian anyways," she smiled before giving Haley a quick goodbye and a promise to return later.
"I'll see you later," Peyton said, following Brooke out the door.
"What's up?" Haley asked, collapsing back on her bed, pushing away the empty tubs of ice cream and cookie dough.
"I have a surprise for you," he said smiling. "But you have to promise me you'll stop sulking for the rest of the day and tomorrow."
"I promise," she said, rolling her eyes.
"Good."
"Where's my surprise?"
"You won't find out till tomorrow," he said.
"Lucas," she whined.
"Whining counts as moping."
"Fine," she huffed. "Then what do I do until then?"
"Don't mope," he ordered. "What do you think? We're going to watch kiss ass horror films."
"Lucas."
"Nope. What I say goes."
"Fine," she mumbled before he took The Notebook from the DVD player and popped in something scary.
The next morning when Haley woke up she knew she was alone in her room. She knew because one, she had another dream about Nathan, and the other because Lucas had fallen asleep with her last night and was now currently nowhere to be seen. She groaned, unhappy to have another Nathan dream as she stretched and got up. She heard some banging around in the kitchen and figure Lucas had gotten up before her to make them breakfast as he done several times in the past.
"Lucas?" she called, getting up to walk to her door. "Is this supposed to be my surprise—" she stopped short when she saw a raven head bent over the stove instead of the blonde one she'd been expecting.
Her heart caught in her throat as she really wished she wasn't dreaming. "Nathan?" she asked quietly as he turned towards her.
She couldn't help herself when she rushed forward, pushing herself into his arms even when he hadn't said a word.
She was so relieved when he returned her hug, tightly squeezing her as she buried her nose in his scent. Hoping it was all real.
"I love you," she blurted, saying it because if it was a dream it wouldn't matter, and if it wasn't she wasn't going to let him leave again.
He laughed softly, sending a trickling vibration through her petite body. "I love you too Hales."
"Tell me I'm not dreaming," she ordered.
"You aren't dreaming."
Haley groaned. "That's what dream Nathan would say."
"Dream Nathan?" he asked, looking at her with a cheeky smile. "Who's that? Someone I should be worrying about?"
"No," she said. "Dream Nathan would tease me. He's nice."
"He's also not real," Nathan pointed out.
"That is very true," Haley agreed and not being able to help herself she reached up and kissed him long and hard, full of passion and it felt so good know they felt the same.
"I really do love you," she said. "And I'm sorry I'm such an idiot for pushing you away."
"It's okay," Nathan said. "We're together now. Nothing else matters."
"What about the NBA? You can't just leave! I mean you could but, you shouldn't because you love basketball. I want you to have your dream, even if means we'll have to be apart. I mean we can make it work. Right? We can make it work. I know I can—"
"Haley," he cut off her rambling. "I didn't miss that rambling that's for sure," he teased. Haley hit him playfully.
"But seriously. What are we going to do?"
"I'm going to come back and live with you," he said. "Basketball doesn't matter if I can't have you."
"But it's your dream."
"You are my dream."
"Nathan," she said, practically swooning on her feet. He smirked knowingly at her.
"Yes?"
"You really know what to say to a girl don't you?"
He grinned. "Only to my girl."
"I love you," she said for the third time that morning. Then she remembered something. "Lucas owes me a surprise."
"Hate to disappoint Hales," Nathan said. "But I'm the surprise."
"Oh," she said. "Oh."
"Yeah."
"Okay," Haley smiled widely feeling happy in a way she hadn't felt in a very long time. "That works for me."
I know it's super fluffly but I love to write fluff. I absolutely love OTH and Naley is my favorite couple by a landslide. Please review and give me your feedback.
-Becca