I posted a false story of a ghost haunting a cemetery and torturing woman who come there to visit their loved ones. I also have a recording of a woman screaming at the top of her voice in terror to lure them in. I hid the stuff in a cache of trees nearby so the boys would not see them.
They are not happy with me at the moment so I had to take drastic measures to get them here for this episode of Salt and Burn with the Winchesters. It will be worth it in the end, I'm sure.
Oooh, here they come. Now, press 'play'. There we go, they should hear that. I will be over here, shhh!)
"Sam, I heard it over here somewhere." Dean insists, he did hear a scream.
"Really? Why would a woman be out visiting a grave at this time of night? This makes no sense." Sam asks, it sounds off to him.
Man, that man is too smart for his own good sometimes. Hopefully Dean doesn't listen to him.
"I don't know, maybe she was taken earlier during the day and now it is torturing her." Dean surmises.
"Yeah, maybe." Sam agrees reluctantly but still mutters, "but unlikely."
"Wait, shine you light over there. Into those trees, I heard it close to there." Dean says and Sam's flashlight hits me right in the eyes, blinding me momentarily. That is light is sure bright!
"It's you!" They growl at me and I shrug innocently. I give them a small wave and hope they don't kill me.
"Yes." I motion behind me. "I got some stuff to burn again and thought you could help me with that."
The boys come close, glaring at me, but start to look over the items I have collected. They take their time inspecting them and then approach me.
"Fine, we will burn them." Sam spits out.
"Where the hell did you get those things?" Dean growls, eying the items with distaste and a hatred I had not seen in his eyes since the yellow-eyed demon.
"Here and there. I have my sources." Dean growls again menacingly.
"What sources?" He asks softly, his voice cold. His eyes tell me he is willing to torture me to find out exactly what sources and he will take great joy in doing it. I gulp.
"I promised not to say." My chin comes up and I stand my ground when my brain screams I should run. "I just want to burn them with you guys."
"Fine, let's just do that." They throw me a meaningful look.
"No, you can't throw me in with them." I assure them. I could tell they were thinking it.
"Pity." Sam and Dean say, doing their double mint twin thing. They are so cute when they do that. I won't say that now but maybe later.
"Cool. How about over there?" I point to a large unused area behind them.
"Sure. Let's get the stuff." Sam goes to get the stuff, Dean follows.
I let myself breathe again, I thought they were going to kill me that time for sure.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for another episode of 'Salt and Burn with the Winchesters'. This is Sam and Dean Winchester. Got your salt and accelerant? Sam holds up the salt and Dean hold up the oil. His lighter is in his front pants pocket.
Well let's get started then shall we?
Here are the items we will be burning tonight:
1) The Minivan Dean had to drive when the Impala was totaled at the beginning of season 2. (He glares at it and salts it on the spot. He hates that thing! Hey, Dean, I have soccer practice later, would you drive me if I waited to burn it. Hey get a sense of humor! Ow, that hurt!)
2) The pictures I snuck of the boys after I tried the green and red colored dog collar on them in their sleep. (Don't worry ladies, I kept the negatives. No I don't have them on me, guys. I have them in a safe place…away from you. Don't worry, the sheets almost cover every inch of your bodies, almost. Yes, I drugged your beer last night and no, I am not sorry. No, that is not a hickey, Sam. I burnt myself on the curling iron, hee hee. What you don't remember can't hurt you. Yipe, I will be back! No salting and burning me,that would be murder! I'm an innocent, I'm an innocent, I scream as I run as fast as I can across the cemetery! Boy those boys are camera shy, geez!)
3) The little trolls with funny hair. (The boys cringe at the sight of them. Nice to know I'm not the only one who hates those things…gah!)
4) The fuzzy dice Sam had put in the car before Dean returned from Hell. (Dean tosses it into the fire, mumbling something that sounds like an exorcism. Poor Dean, losing his mind at such a young age.)
5) Dean's surplus condom supply. (It was Sam's idea. You kept him up with that redhead and her sister all night long last week. He feels you need to take a break from sex for a while, or he needs a break from your sex life for a while, either one works. I'll get you some more later, I whisper to him and he leers, Sam looks suspicious and I give him my most innocent smile. He suspects something and doesn't like it.)
6) The recording of a woman screaming I used to lure them here. And the remains of my unfortunate boombox after they emptied a clip into it, both of them. (Now they are smiling really big, and I pout, 'I need a new stereo now.' They shrug and continue smirking, I grunt in annoyance then a happy thought occurs to me. 'How do you feel about werewolf howls and the sounds of bats taking flight?' They glare and I just smile. That is for destroying my boombox.
7) The doll from the episode where Dean burned the doll's hair to save Sam and Sarah from the creepy little girl slasher. (I swiped it after they left town and placed it on the nightstand between their beds last night. They asked the same thing they ask everytime: How did I find them again? How do I keep getting in? I just smile, I will never tell. Threatening to kill me will not help, it is in my power. I really need to stop antagonizing men with guns, maybe it's related to Dean's uncontrollable urge to piss off witches?
8) The dvd movies, It, GroundHog Day, and Wizard of Oz. (I drugged the boys with a paralytic last night and sat them up. I then made them watch all three movies with me all night long. They were so mad and freaked out that I had to agree to salt and burn them. Here are the reasons I figured out from what they shouted at me as I ran away at that time. They are as follows: It (Sam hates clowns, and I don't mean in the 'I just don't like clowns, they are just weird kind of way' but more in the 'What the hell kind of clown is that! Dean, we have to go hunt this bitch down right now!' kind of psychotic kind of way. I don't see his problem, its my favorite movie. I never knew one man could hate a movie so much! Who knew? Hee hee!
Ground Hog Day (Dean hates the idea of things that keep repeating over and over again for some strange reason. Sam says it reminds him of the time they were stuck in a time loop while investing something called the 'Mystery Spot' whatever that is. They both insisted that this movie had to be burned with a vengeance, I thought it was stupid so that is cool with me.)
Wizard of Oz (They were puzzled by this choice of movie until I explained that the part where Dorothy notices that the evil witches feet and ankles are sticking out from under her house, apparently the house crash landed right on top of her, squishing all but her feet and ankles flat. I then reminded them that Dean's feet looked the same way when the piano fell on him in the 'Mystery Spot' episode and showed him that video afterward to illustrate my point. Dean and Sam went pale and mumbled something about never looking at it that way before and then saying they were going to kill me if they ever got their hands on me again. They always threaten this, It doesn't faze me anymore.
I hid the 'Supernatural' videos from him at that point. I was not going to burn those. They would have to burn me first. Then again, they might just be happy to oblige me on that suggestion.
No, I am not a stalker, I am a really really reaaally devoted fan(girl))
(Please read and review. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. I am always up for new ideas.)