Sirius?
Yes?
Why am I in your bed wearing a pink bra and slightly too small thong?
Well your not actually in my bed. I'm imagining you here.
Still; a pink bra? Do you really think that's healthy?
You're probably right. What about a black corset and leather pants?
Sirius! If you like women's underwear why don't you fantasize about girls then?
Because I only want to fantasize about you
Will you at least imagine me naked or something normal like that?
FINE!
….
You know Sirius, you really are a pussy.
What, why?
It's your wet dream and I'm totally taking over it.
No you are not.
Yes I am.
You always have to be so frigging right huh?
Well technically, you are right, as I am in your head and you're actually talking to yourself
You know what! I have it just about enough! You are ruining everything. I'm just trying to have a good wank here, not make a whole diploma out of it.
Fine, fine. Well, Sirrrrius, what do I do in your dreams?
Well first of all you do not talk. You only moan.
Oh.
See? Better.
Well, actually as it's dark I can not see anything nor did you show it to me so this statement doesn't make any sense at all.
It's a phase moony, get over it. And didn't I tell you to stop being such a smartarse?
Sorry, sorry. Continue
It's kind of sexy though.
Oh really? Do my intelligent talk make you want to lose your brain through you eyeholes?
Ohh yes. . but I'm feeling so – sOo slee-
Sirius woke up to something banging on his door the next morning.
-ion Black! If you do not move you piece of merlin's pants arse out of your bed to the bathroom immediately I will hex your mattress into snakes and don't you think I will cry a tear when they strangle you.
Arghhh.
…
That's it! I'm coming in you filthy little shit, wake up! What are your trousers doing on floor and what for merlin's sake is your hand doing in your pants?