Warden Amell and Varric
Varric: You aren't what I expected, Commander.
Amell: *chuckles* I never am.
Varric: It isn't a bad thing, but your story has just been slightly exaggerated.
Amell: What do you mean 'exaggerated'?
Varric: Well, I heard the Hero of Ferelden was taller than most men, built like a Qunari warrior, and had a face chiselled and defined by years of battle.
Amell: …
Varric: They also say you have a facial tattoo, and a shaved head.
Amell: Anything else?
Varric: Oh, and you have a deep and manly voice. Turns out the glowing eyes is the only accurate description.
Amell: Wow, whoever told that story had a wild imagination.
Varric: Hey, my imagination isn't that wild.
...
Amell: So you knew my cousin pretty well?
Varric: Who, Hawke? Yeah, we got into some trouble together, back in the day.
Amell: I have only seen her a few times, I wish I could get to know her properly. Haven't had more than a fleeting conversation with her.
Varric: She felt the same way, when she learnt who you were.
Amell: Did she know we had actually formerly met? Back before the Blight hit, in Lothering.
Varric: Don't think she ever mentioned it. But, Hawke was a lady who kept things to herself mostly.
Amell: Seems to be a family trait.
...
Varric: So, since you aren't very pleased with my original interpretation of your story, would you allow me to retell it? With only the facts of course.
Amell: You want to write a story… about me?
Varric: Yep, and all your heroic deeds.
Amell: Why…?
Varric: Call me sentimental, but I like a good adventure where the hero overcomes all odds and gets the girl.
Amell: I didn't get the girl, she was never a prize.
Varric: My apologises. Still...?
Amell: Sorry Varric, I have already sworn the story to Leliana.
Varric: Damn, I'm a pretty red head, but not that pretty.
...
Amell: Hmmm
Varric: What? Why are you staring at me?
Amell: I have met many dwarves in my life… and you are the first to not have a beard. One that was old enough to have one, anyway.
Varric: That's because it fell onto my chest.
Amell: Interesting…
...
(If Inquisitor attempts a romance with Varric)
Amell: Are you alright, Varric?
Varric: Ah, yeah… just thinking.
Amell: Anything I can help with? You have been overly quiet… which is unusual for you.
Varric: *sigh* Just thinking of those I've lost and continue to lose…
Amell: I see. May I say something?
Varric: Sure.
Amell: You don't have to always push everyone away. Sometimes the past can be too hard to handle, but that's what friends are for. If you can trust just one person, they can make all the difference.
Varric: It's complicated. Not everyone's life ends up in a fairy-tale romance. We aren't all as lucky.
Amell: My life isn't perfect Varric. No one's is.
...
Varric: I want to apologise, Amell.
Amell: Over?
Varric: I know your life isn't perfect. Shit, you probably have had it harder than I can possibly imagine. You were just trying to help.
Amell: Don't worry about it. It takes a bit to get under my skin, nowadays.
...
Amell: Varric, why do you only refer to my cousin as 'Hawke'? She has a first name you know.
Varric: I know, force of habit. It was something the gang used to do. It's like when people call you Commander or Warden.
Amell: She never minded?
Varric: Shit yeah she did! She used to bitch and moan all the time over it. Especially to that broody elf she was with.
Amell: You don't talk about her lover much. I would have thought that would be something you'd want to tell tales about. Or is romance not your thing?
Varric: Oh I can do romance. Haven't you read 'Swords and Shields'?
Amell: Err, I don't count that as a romance…
Varric: Casandra probably doesn't either.
(if Cassandra is present)
Cassandra: *disgusted noise*
Varric: Well… let's just say, that what they had when I knew them…. It wasn't much of a love story. Can't say I know how they are now, hopefully they are less broody.
...
Amell: Varric! What the Fade is this shit?
Varric: What? You don't like it? You wanted me to write a romance.
Amell: Not about me and my wife though!
Varric: Call it a 'friend-fiction'.
Amell: But really Varric? "The Tainted Lover?"
Varric: What's wrong with it?
Amell: What's right with it? I also said to not tell stories about me!
Varric: About your adventures, not your romances.
Amell: "The redheaded seductress stepped closer to her broad shouldered leader. They both knew what they shared was wrong, forbidden. He was a Warden, and a mage. Romance was not an option. But nothing could dampen the flames of their passion."
Varric: I fail to see the problem.
Amell: "She ran her slender fingers through his thick mane of glorious chest hair. Damned be to the rules, and damned be to the Blight…"
(If Sera is present)
Sera: Don't stop! You're getting to the good bits!
(If Dorian is present)
Dorian: You should let me proof read Varric. Sera edits it with an overdramatic voice.
Varric: I think it's tastefully done.
Amell: Varric… you are lucky I am not roasting you right now… If Leliana reads this, I doubt she will be quite as calm.
...
Amell: So you knew Alistair? Err, King Alistair?
Varric: Yeah, we got up to some mischief a few years back. I can tell you the story some time, if you're willing to hear it.
Amell: I'd like that. I miss him. We hadn't always seen eye to eye, but he was practically my brother.
Varric: He spoke highly of you. I think he would miss you as well. You should try and find him.
Amell: I'm not the same man I was when we knew each other. I doubt he hasn't changed, either.
Varric: I hear that.
...
Amell: Varric, who's Bianca?
Varric: My crossbow.
Amell: That much I gathered. But surely there is an origin to the name?
Varric: Can't I name my weapon without everyone thinking it's named after some lost lover? You named your sword.
Amell: It's called Starfang. That's hardly something worthy of questions. It's made from star material, and shaped like a tooth. Star-fang.
Varric: Least Bianca is slightly more tasteful and original.
Amell: Hey!
...
Varric: So, any plans on settling down with the wife? Raising a few baby mages?
Amell: You just want info for another one of your Maker awful smut novels.
Varric: I'm hurt…. It isn't awful.
Amell: *sigh* To answer your question, yes we are considering it. But, it's too dangerous right now. The Breach must be stopped if we want a better life for our children. So many years have passed us, I fear our time together grows shorter. I would rather not leave this earth, having not given my all to our life together.
Varric: Geez, I can't decide if you have the makings of a poet, or a bullshit artist.
Amell: Can it not be both?
...
Varric: So, am I assuming you two have decided now is a good time to have a family?
Amell: Sorry?
Varric: Well it's just the noises I heard echoing from your room last I night I simply thought-
Amell: We are not having this conversation!
Varric: Shit, I owe Sera five Sovereigns.
(If Sera is present)
Sera: Told you the mighty Commander blushes brighter than a tomato!