Chapter I
Upfront?
Moxxie's Bar, 12:09 pm, Friday
Maya, Salvador, Axton, and Zer0 were all sitting in one of the bar's booths, Maya beside Zer0, and Axton beside Salvador.
Axton was on what had to be his fifteenth beer. Salvador was frankly surprised that Axton was still alive.
"And then I said: 'I know you are, so what am I?'" Axton burst out into laughter, pounding the table as though it was the funniest thing he had ever said, even though had technically slurred it.
His laughter was cut off by a series of hiccups, which turned into burps, which ended in him throwing up over the glass, into the booth behind him.
"Oops." He hiccupped again. "My bad."
"Yeah." Salvador grumbled, glancing into the unfortunate booth. "Your bad."
"It's not my fault I can't hold my liquor!" Axton complained, the slur more prominent.
"You drank fifteen bottles of alcohol, Hombre. Almost no one can hold that much liquor." Salvador protested, looking to his teammates on the other side of the booth for support.
"Axton, go home. You're very drunk." Maya said, barely paying attention. Instead, she was reading a novel.
Axton looked to the two, and hiccupped. "Why do we bring either of you? Ever? Maya barely participates in social interaction, and Zer0…" The Commando hesitated. "Zer0, you don't do anything."
The Assassin recoiled, as if hurt. "Dick." He muttered.
Axton immediately shot up from his seat, leaning across the table. "Watch it, four fingers!"
"Hey," Salvador protested, trying to pull Axton back into his seat. "Calm down."
"Wanna know something?" Salvador groaned, knowing full well that the bill was probably going to go to him if the bar was destroyed. Again.
"I can count all my fingers. / How 'bout you, Soldier?" Axton's eyes narrowed as he held up his hand.
"Shit…" He cursed as his fingers seemed to blur, first there were six, then nine, and so on.
Axton abruptly closed his hand and made to punch Zer0, but his fist's progress halted, his arm being pulled back by Salvador.
"You wanna-" He hiccupped. "You wanna fight, short-stuff?"
Salvador looked stunned. "Short-stuff? That was the best you had?"
"It's better than whatever you got." Axton burped, and Maya leaned away, just in case their booth was the unfortunate booth this time.
"I bet," Axton continued, "That I could beat you in a fight. The…Therefore! For, like, the next year, it's…it's battle royale, bitch! Or, at least until you give up." Axton finished the statement with a fit of hiccupping.
Salvador looked grim. It was time for Axton to face the consequences of being this smashed.
"It is on, Amigo." He growled, shaking Axton's hand.
"So. How do you think / this will go, Siren. Best guess? / Money's on Axton." Zer0 whispered to Maya, his head never turning away from his unfinished drink.
"Putting money on Axton when he's fighting Salvador is like putting money on you when you're fighting me." She whispered back, not noticing the crimson "o_o" that had appeared on the Assassin's faceplate.
"May I interject?" Zer0 asked, tapping the table.
"Holy shit, guys! Zer0's doing something!" Axton exclaimed, leaning in close.
Zer0 grunted, before continuing. "The Siren and I would like / to join this battle." Zer0 finished, a smiley face appearing on his visor.
The mentioned Siren was baffled. "You are signing me up, to try and kill my friends, for "Like," A year?" The Siren looked thoughtful. "Sure."
"It has been decided!" Axton announced, standing up. "The Woman and Salvador versus me and Zer0!"
Maya looked appalled. "The Woman?"
"Don't question my antics, Woman!" Axton argued, dropping into his seat. "I'm so drunk, it's pointless."
That was something that could not be argued with.
"Holy shit you re-wrote it!"
Indeed, dear reader (Assuming I'm not talking to myself)
I have re-wrote it! Simply due to the fact that it was such shit before! Still short, though.
More to come,
-Caecus Discord