Okay, so first off; this is a super sad story, the saddest story I have ever written. But! There is a second chapter and this is a story you so have to read to the very last word.
Now about the name, it had just popped into my head, (I had thought about doing 'Love Will Remember') and I named it that. And then I read JesusLovesMarina's chapter 3 of Good Old Days, (Which is a must read by the way! And I'm sorry I have not reviewed yet!) and realized that the phrase "Just A Dream" was in there. Haha! Great writers think alike! :)
Now, please wait for the second chapter, as it is a must read. And I will try my best to have it uploaded by tomorrow, but I make no guarantees. Okay, so, well, read! :)
I recommend listening to your saddest song while reading this. Or just type in "Sad Songs For Broken Hearts" on YouTube. It should show up as a video with a teddy bear looking away from the camera with a phrase saying; "You promised that you'd never leave. Where are you now?" Yeah, kind of weird, but man, it is the saddest song ever! And it's instrumental! I highly recommend checking it out! Or you could do Selena Gomez's "Love Will Remember". Or even Celtic Woman's "Black is the Colour".
Disclaimer: I own nothing of this. Not. A. Thing. Nada. Nope. (Pops the 'p')
Natasha sighed as she played with a lock of her red hair. She was currently sitting in the kitchen on the main floor of the Tower at 3:00 A.M., because no matter how hard she tried, she could not sleep.
Steve, her husband as of three years before, was out on a mission in some classified place. It was supposed to be easy, yet she still had a bad feeling.
She figured it was just because he was out on a mission without her.
And she always hated that.
She smiled as she felt the baby kick. She was six months pregnant with her and Steve's child. She couldn't help but chuckle when she remembered telling Steve that she was pregnant.
"Hey, Steve?" She called out to her husband who was busy doing paperwork on his desk. He looked up and smiled lovingly at his wife.
"Yeah, hun'?" She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what was about to happen. She had found out the day before, and still couldn't quite believe it herself.
She couldn't help the way her hands were shaking, and prayed that Steve wouldn't notice, but of course the ever-so-observant Super-Solder did.
"Nat, what's wrong?" He asked as he stood up and walked over to her. His over six-foot tall frame towered over her as he tipped her chin up with one finger, making their eyes meet.
"Natasha?" He asked softly, worry evident in his eyes and on his beloved face. She took in another shaky breath, trying to ease the nerves in her stomach. Her and Steve weren't planning a child.
In fact, they didn't think they could ever have a child thanks to what awful things the Red Room did to her. She was pretty sure Steve would be fine with it, in fact, she hoped he would be happy about it.
But that little voice that was always in the back of her head, made her fear Steve's response.
She couldn't lose him.
She couldn't live without him by her side. She took in another shaky deep breath.
"I'm pregnant." She blurted out, and watched as shock washed over Steve's features. She bit her lip, waiting for a response.
"I know we weren't planning to have a child, and I don't know what-" She started speaking, but stopped when she saw his eyes lit up and his lips break out into a smile. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace.
She could feel his chest shake as laughter erupted into the room. He spun her around a couple of times, still clutching her to his chest, and she couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm.
"You're pregnant! I can't believe this!" He said as he brought her back down so he could look into her eyes. She couldn't help the big smile that played with her lips, and she knew he had the same thing.
His eyes sparkled with joy and he spoke in disbelief. "I can't believe you're pregnant," He whispered, and she nodded with a small smile. "How long?" He asked.
"I found out yesterday, and the doctor said it's been three and a half months," She said, and laughed as Steve spun her around again in the air. When he brought her back down, his lips were on hers in one swift instant.
She could feel his smile against her lips, and couldn't help but smile herself. Now they could be a whole family, at last.
His hands slowly glided to her waist, gently pulling her closer, and her hands drifted to the back of his neck, softly moving him closer to her. Her fingers played with his golden hair as he deepened the kiss; paperwork long forgotten about.
She smiled softly as she traced the outline of a water ring on the counter. She still couldn't quite believe she was pregnant herself. She brought her fingers up to the chain around her neck.
It was Steve's dog tags.
She remembered when he had given them to her, and couldn't help the small smile that graced her lips. It was on their seventh date, when he was sent out on a dangerous mission.
"Steve, do you have to go?" She whispered as she held onto him with a death grip, tears silently cascading down her porcelain cheeks. He sighed as he placed a kiss on the top of her head and wrapped his arms back around her.
"I do, Natasha. You know I wouldn't if I didn't have to." He said softly and she sniffed with a nod.
"Okay," She said quietly and he pulled back as he looked down at her and tipped her chin up gently.
"Nat, look at me," He whispered and she slowly obeyed. "I love you, Natasha, and I want you to have these," He pulled the dog tags out form underneath his shirt and took them off, before gently opening her hand up and placing them over.
He slowly moved each of her fingers over it to cover it until she was holing it in the palm of her hands. She looked up at him, slight shock mixed with the tears in her eyes.
"Whenever, you see it, I want you to think of me, okay? And when you do, it'll be a silent prayer for extra protection for the both of us. Whenever you think of them, just think of me." He said and she just stared at the tags in her hands, fear filling her at the thought of losing Steve.
He tipped her chin back up and smiled softly, as he gently kissed her tears away. His lips moved down to settle on hers for several moments, before he slowly pulled away.
"I love you, Natasha." He whispered before slowly breaking the embrace and walking away. Suddenly, her mind caught up on what was happening and she called out his name to stop him.
"Steve, wait!" She said, and he slowly turned back around. She ran towards him and caught his lips in a passionate, yet soft kiss. They slowly pulled apart after a little bit, and she sighed as she brought a hand up to run through his golden locks.
"Just...come back alive, okay?" She said and he smiled.
"I don't plan on coming back any other way, ma'm." He said, before giving a small kiss once more, and disappearing into the shadows, leaving her to clutch onto the tags crying, and to pray.
She smiled softly as she thought about Steve's mannerisms, and how his love had changed her life completely.
Steve was the perfect husband.
He was always so amazing, he was kind, sweet, gentle, understanding of her past, loving, just all around perfect. Sometimes he would surprise her with little things, or like cooking dinner; a lot.
He would sometimes buy her flowers, have surprise dates, and give her massages.
He was literally the perfect husband.
Yet he was super modest, and surprisingly pretty insecure about himself. She didn't understand how someone so amazing could think so lowly of their self. He didn't say much about the reason why, just little things.
He'd say something had happened during his childhood. And finally, a few months before now, he'd told her the reason; he was abused.
She couldn't believe he had been abused as a child. It made absolutely no sense.
And she knew that he was going to do anything and everything to make sure that their child would have the best childhood. She glanced up at the clock and blew out a breath of frustration when she saw that it was only 3:23.
She didn't understand why it was taking him so long to finish the mission. He should have been back two days ago. He'd already been gone three weeks. She looked over at the table where a few papers and stuff laid.
They had been looking for a place to buy ever since they had found out about the little bundle of joy that was on it's way. And were hoping to have a place bought before the baby came.
So far they hadn't found anything, and it was starting to look pointless; which the rest of the Avengers who were residents of the Tower, were a tad bit more happy about than they should be.
She heard footsteps and was immediately snapped out of her thoughts. She looked up and smiled slightly when she saw who it was.
"Hey, Wanda. Couldn't sleep?" She asked, smile still on her lips, but frowned when she saw the terrified look in the young girl's eyes. "Wanda?"
She asked as she got a little closer and realized she had been crying. Her eyes were wide with unshed tears, and she looked like she was in a state of panic.
"Wanda?" She asked a little more forcefully when she didn't respond.
"I-it's S-Steve," She choked out, and Natasha ignored the fear that spiked up within her, and grabbed the stuttering girl's arms, forcing her to look at her.
"Wanda, what happened?" She asked, and the girl put her hands on Natasha's wrists.
"He's, he's hurt. I keep getting this weird feeling, and-and I couldn't sleep because of it." She stopped to look up at Natasha.
"He's hurt. Badly. I keep getting this sensation of pain in my chest, a-and, my lungs, they feel like there's water in them. My chest almost feels like I've been s-shot. I didn't understand, but then I remembered how I synced up with Steve before the mission, so I'd know if he was in trouble. I keep feeling some of the pain he's experiencing. God, it's horrid, Natasha."
Natasha tried to ignore how both of their hands were trembling, but fear for Steve's life still filled her.
"We need to find him. I-I think I can f-figure out where's he's at." Wanda stuttered and shook as she spoke.
"I'll get the team ready, just figure out where Steve's at," She said as calmly as she could manage. She quickly turned around and headed towards the door as fast as she could.
"Natasha, I-" Wanda started, but Natasha interrupted her.
"Now!" She yelled as she spun back around to look at her. Wanda's eyes widened for a split second before she quickly closed them; red beginning to circle the tips of her fingers and when she opened her eyes again after a moment, they were red.
Natasha knew she was trying to figure it out, so she took off towards the gear room to get her stuff; but not before telling J.A.R.V.I.S to alert the others.
She couldn't help but feel a bit of guilt for yelling at Wanda. She knew the girl was doing her best, but Steve was in danger, there wasn't any extra time.
She also knew how Wanda had secretly started treating Steve a bit like her new brother. And she knew how awful Wanda had to be feeling right now, physically and emotionally, but she didn't really care.
Steve was in danger, and rescuing him was all that mattered.
Natasha's fingers tapped anxiously as she waited for the Quinjet to land. Steve had to be okay.
He just had to be okay.
She couldn't live without him. He's the center of her world. She sighed and rubbed a hand over her face, before she looked over at Wanda who was inconspicuously clutching her chest and breathing hard; a glowing red entering her eyes every once in a while.
The Avengers had tried their best to keep Natasha from going on this mission; one reason being, she was six months pregnant for crying out loud, and the other reason being, they weren't sure exactly what condition Steve would be in.
But there was no way in heck she wasn't going on this mission.
Natasha was so on edge, she never even noticed Clint and Tony sit down beside her; Tony on her left, and Clint on her right.
"He'll be okay, Natasha. I know he will," Clint assured her and she just nodded slowly, while gently holding the tag around her neck in her hand; not completely buying it.
"Look, Natalie," Tony began, "We're talking about a guy who disobeyed his orders and rescued hundreds of prisoners from a Hydra base. A guy who, who got frozen in ice for seventy years. A guy who has been through way too much to even begin a list. And I know how much he loves you, I see it every day." Natasha glanced up to meet Tony's eyes.
"He is the most stubborn person on the face of this planet when it comes down to the littlest of things; I know he will be fine. Especially when he's fighting for you." Tony said, lightly patting her on the shoulder. She swallowed hard and looked down; nodding slowly.
"Come here," Clint said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him and closed her eyes, silently crying. He rubbed her arm, and somehow, she knew he did that because of Steve.
Whenever Steve would hold her and comfort her while she was upset, he'd rub her arm in a gentle and soft way.
The way Clint was doing now.
"Okay, guys, get ready, we're landing now," Bruce said from the front of the Quinjet, and Natasha literally jumped up and was out of the doors of the jet before they were even completely open.
The rest of the Avengers were close behind, weapons drawn and at the ready. Wanda had figured out that Steve was at some hidden Hydra underground base, so the Avengers had quickly found the coordinates and left immediately after.
They had all discussed what the plans were while they were riding on the Quinjet. Since Steve wasn't there to lead them and direct them, they had all taken the role of Leader.
Several guys showed up with guns, but Natasha made quick work of them with a bullet to each and every head. Anger filled her and took control, causing her to not care how many lives she took, just as long as she got Steve back safe and sound.
"Natasha!" She heard Clint shout, and turned around just in time to see a guy holding a knife behind her fall to the ground with an arrow in his chest. She glanced up at where Clint was on the building keeping cover and nodded once.
"Thanks!" She shouted back, before going back to fighting. Since she couldn't really fight with hand-to-hand combat, she relied heavily on her teammates, Widow Bites, and guns. There was a brief opening into the building, and she knew she had to take it.
"Tony, cover me!" She said into the comms, before taking off running, only stopping to shoot a couple of Widow Bites at people who got in her ways. She couldn't help but smirk as she saw several of her assailants fall to the ground ; courtesy of Iron Man.
She burst into the building, knowing there was no need for the element of surprise, and shot several Hydra guards before they could even react. She grabbed one of them however, as he was dying, by the front of his shirt.
"What did you do to Captain America!?" She yelled at him, but he only smirked.
"I will never tell," He choked out, and just laughed as she got even angrier.
"Tell me now, or I'll snap your neck!" She threatened, but the guy just smirked again.
"Hail Hydra," Were his last words, and she threw his worthless and lifeless body back onto the ground and went on her search.
She noticed a room that was once heavily guarded, and took off towards it, wasting no time on killing the last of the people in her way.
She grabbed the handle and tried to open the door, but it was locked. As difficult as it was for her to do so, with being six months pregnant, she kicked down the door and charged her way in.
"Steve!" She yelled as she frantically searched the overly large and dark room. She saw a flash of blue and ran towards it; heart skipping a beat when she saw his Shield laying on the floor, along with his body.
"Steve!" She yelled again as she ran over to him. She knelt down beside him. "Oh, thank God we found you," She whispered in relief of seeing her husband.
She hadn't noticed until now, as the light got a little brighter for some odd reason, the overly huge amount of blood on his chest and on the ground around him.
She swore her heart stopped beating for a few moments as she noticed the blood on his face and around his lips; lips she had once kissed so passionately. His face was pale.
Way too pale.
She brought up a shaky hand and pressed two fingers to his neck. "No..." She whispered when she felt nothing. Fear bubbled over the edges of the container she had stuffed it in, and began to take over.
She pressed her fingers to his neck harder, before leaning over his mouth to see if she could feel his breath. "No, no, no, no, no!" She yelled, tears leaking over the brim of her eyes.
"No, this can't be happening!" She sobbed. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him, trying to get some sort of response from him. "Don't do this to me! God, please, please don't let this happen!" She sobbed as she laid him back down and covered her face with her hands.
"You said forever! You promised!" She shouted at his limp, and dead body. She tried to resuscitate him, hoping that she could bring him back, but deep down she knew it was too late. "Why!? Why did this happen!? Why you and not me!?" Her voice broke and she sobbed uncontrollably.
"I-I could have saved you! I failed you," She cried harder than she ever had in her entire life. He couldn't be gone. He was just here. She could still feel his lips on hers, hear his laughter, hear his beloved deep baritone rumbling as he wished her a good morning.
She could still hear the worry in his voice about how she was overworking herself. She could still feel his arms wrapped around her, his breath on the back of her neck as he held her close at night.
She could even still hear him whispering, 'I love you'.
Now, she realized, she wouldn't hear him ever say it again.
She shakily took his hand in hers and wept silently now. She leaned over until she was above his face.
His beloved, yet lifeless face.
She could still see the smile on his lips as she told him about the baby, or the twinkle in his eyes that only showed up as he looked at her.
She smiled sadly, bottom lip trembling, and reached up to cup his cheek; not removing her other hand from his while doing so. A single tear slid down her cheek and dripped onto Steve's cheek, sliding down until it vanished just as quickly as it showed up.
"Goodbye Steve, I-I love you," She whispered, voice breaking. She gently pressed her lips to his, before slowly pulling back. She couldn't control the tears that came and flowed down her cheeks in a steady stream.
She broke down and sobbed uncontrollably. And that's just how the Avengers found her; sobbing while holding Steve's lifeless hand.
Today was a day Natasha dreaded immensely, spending the morning sobbing quietly in her and Steve's bedroom.
She kept waking up in the middle of the night, reaching out to the side for Steve; only to be zapped back to reality and realizing, he wasn't there.
It had been four days since his death, and today was his funeral. She looked out at the sunrise that was slowly rising, almost in a mournful way.
Storm clouds started to roll over the sunrise, darkening the sky and turning it a dreary grey.
She ignored the tears that leaked from her eyes and onto her cheeks, as she went to her closet and pulled out some of her black clothes.
Out of all the times she wore black, she never dreamed one day she'd wear it because of this. She was still wearing his dog tags underneath the dress; she hadn't taken them off since his death.
She glanced out the window and smiled sadly at the sunrise.
She remembered how only a few weeks before today, Steve was sitting right here by the window, trying to capture the beauty of the sunset.
Natasha slowly woke up to the sound of a pencil scratching against paper. She blinked several times before tiredly getting up; rubbing at her eyes as she did so.
She looked over towards where the noise was coming from and saw Steve focusing on something intently.
He grabbed a red colored pencil to replace the light yellow one in his hand and began sketching again.
"Steve?" She asked, before she glanced at the clock, realizing how it was only quarter after six in the morning. He looked up from the papers to her.
"Oh, good morning, Nat. Didn't mean to wake you," He said apologetically. She shrugged as she threw off the covers and got out of bed.
"It's not a big deal," She stated as she walked over to him. "Whatcha' doing?" She asked as she looked over his shoulder at the colorful page in front of him. He just shrugged as he went back to sketching.
"Just trying to catch the sunrise," He paused and sighed happily, "It's amazing." He said and she smiled as she looked down at him.
"Yeah," She breathed, "It is." She said, not at all talking about the sunrise; but instead the man in front of her. She carefully took the sketchbook out of his hands to look at the pictures. She saw the hesitation in his eyes, and curiosity spiked through her.
She started going through the pages and was left breathless at the pictures. All sorts of ones, including his old friend Bucky, Howling Commandoes, Peggy, Howard, the Avengers, but the one that left her breathless was of her.
There were probably over a dozen sketches of her. She looked up at him in shock, and he just awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.
"I've been trying to sketch a picture of you, but just can't quite seem to catch your beauty." He said sheepishly and she smirked as she handed him the book back.
"God, you're such a sap." She said and he chuckled.
"Yeah, but you love me anyway," He retorted with and she laughed.
"Yes, I do." She said before wrapping her arms around his neck and bringing his lips to hers for a sweet, yet passionate kiss.
But now he was gone, and she'd never see him again. She choked on a sob as she looked out the window one last time.
"He was a wonderful man; the greatest man I ever knew. His life was taken away far too earlier. And I think that right now, he's probably watching us denying everything we're saying." Tony huffed with an amused smile.
"'Cause that's who he was; modest, and just downright amazing." He said, before sighing as he walked off the mini-stage. He used to love stages, but not this one.
He glanced over at Natasha and sighed. He knew how bad she was feeling, he only hoped she'd be all right. Because he knew how he'd feel if anything would ever happen to Pepper; he'd probably just go into a drinking world and spiral downwards after that.
He sent up a silent prayer for Natasha, before returning to his seat, as she went up.
Natasha took a deep breath as she went up to the stage. She knew she wouldn't cry; not when she was speaking. But this would most definitely be the toughest thing she'd ever have to do.
She walked up the small flight of stairs going up the side of stage, and the only noise to be heard was the distant roar of thunder, and the clicks of her small heels.
She came up before the podium and took a deep breath.
"Steve Rogers was by far the best person I have ever met. He is, he was," She reminded herself.
"Gentle, sweet, kind, caring, loving, and just perfect. I've sometimes wondered what I did to deserve him, because I often think I don't. He was the best husband I could have ever have imagined, and I know he would've been the best father, too."
Her hand subconsciously came up to rest on her rising stomach.
"I loved him, and I still can't believe that something like this happened. He didn't deserve it. He deserved a long life without pain and suffering," She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself, but her voice still broke.
"But we couldn't give him that. This world is full of pain and heartache and death. But he chose to fight for this country, this world, so that we could all go to bed at night with a smile on our faces; safe and secure." She sighed.
"I only wish for him and his bravery to be remembered; because Steve Rogers wasn't just any man, he was my husband. And he was the best one I could have ever have asked for."
She took a deep breath before walking off the stage in a lot more confidence than she felt. Rain started pour down on everybody and they all rushed inside, leaving Steve's closed casket out in the rain.
She slowly walked over to it, trying not to cry. She gently placed her shaking hand on it and sighed brokenly as her other hand came up to clutch the dog tags around her neck.
"Why Steve? Why did you leave me? We could have been a family." She choked on a sob and looked up at the sky.
"I love you, Steve, and I know you're in Heaven now. Maybe someday I can get there so we can be together again." Her voice broke as she started sobbing again, looking back down at the casket one last time.
"Why Lord? Why, oh, why couldn't this be, just a dream?"
Are you crying your eyes out yet? I know I was when I was writing it...
Now remember, there is a second chapter so please wait for that!
Okay, remember, I absolutely love reviews! Any reviews, I just love them. Reviews=:)=3=World Peace.
Okay, so you see that three there? That was supposed to be a heart just so you know...
Anyway, until hopefully tomorrow my lovelies!