A/N- For Kassandra27 who just left me around 75 reviews : ) And for everyone else who reads and reviews my stories, I really appreciate your feedback, keep it coming.

Just as a warning, this fanfic is going to be full of drama, and the characters will most likely be OOC often.

Set at the start of the summer Rory was in Washington, only she never kissed Jess and something else stopped her going to Washington.

Broken Hears and Shattered Lives

Chapter One

Rory's eyes glazed over as Miss Patti spoke to her, she couldn't care less what the older woman was saying, she couldn't care less what anyone was saying to her today. It was hot outside and the sky was the brightest blue, and somehow that only made Rory feel more broken. Across the square she could see her boyfriend, Dean Forrester, walking towards her. She snapped and without excusing herself from the table in the square, where she was sat with Miss Patti, Kirk and Babette, she got up, took off the uncomfortable heels and ran. She'd never been known to run before, but now she felt like she never wanted to stop. Her black skirt flapped about as she ran, the black chiffon blouse with tiny blue flowers printed on it, was starting to stick to her because of the sweat. Tears had streaked her mascara down her face, but she didn't care how she looked, she didn't care about anything. She felt numb as she stepped onto the bridge, the one place she could come for solitude. She pulled her hair down from the neat bun she had it in, and let the strands of hair fall messily around her shoulders. As she looked down at her reflection in the water she cried harder, wishing she could stop this pain. After a deep breath Rory jumped off the bridge, hitting the cool water and sinking beneath the surface.

The next thing she knew a pair of arms had encircled her waist, and she was being pulled onto the grassy embankment.

'What the heck were you thinking!' Jess' words were harsh, he wasn't the type to act different with her, he wouldn't be gentle and compassionate with her, not even today, and strangely that made her feel a little better. She knew he wouldn't let her get away with anything stupid, like everyone else in town was doing for her, they excused whatever she did, Jess wasn't like that. He'd still call her out on it, even though they hadn't known each other that long. She registered his words and looked over at him.

'Nothing, I wasn't thinking anything.' Rory shrugged her shoulders.

'Clearly, you could have drowned! Is that what you were trying to do?' Again his words were sharp, and she knew without a doubt that if anyone else had found her, they would have wrapped her in hugs, and soothed her and made her feel worse.

'No, I just wanted to feel something other than grief, something other than this sadness. I wanted to feel the rush of being pulled under the water…I wasn't trying to….I would never…' Rory shook her head. 'I'm sorry.'

'You know you've got some really messed up ways of making yourself feel…jeez…' he trailed off and looked at her with sadness. She was broken, he knew that much because he'd been broken before. In a different way but still broken. 'Are you ok?'

If anyone else had asked her that today, of all days, she would have hated them for it, she would have screamed at them, how could she possibly be ok, but it was Jess, and she knew that he didn't mean it the way everyone else did, he wasn't struggling for something to say. He was simply asking her how she was coping, asking her in his own way if she wanted to be left alone, and she understood his subtle language and rested her head on his shoulder.

'I don't think I'll ever be ok.' Rory said because she knew she could rely on him, not just to understand but also not to come up with some clichéd response, the kind of thing she'd heard all day, the it'll be okays, and the just give it time. She knew he wouldn't say anything like that, because she knew that he'd know it wouldn't make her feel better.

'Come on I'm taking you back to the diner, you're staying there tonight.' Jess said taking her hands and pulling her up, it wasn't a question that required a response, so she simply let herself be led towards the diner, because he'd read her mind, that she was scared to go back to that house, scared to sleep there knowing how empty it was.

'Jess?'

'Yeah?'

'I never even got to say goodbye.' Rory said quietly. Jess looked at her sideways and put an arm around her waist, this girl was so strong most of the time, but today she looked as though she would fall down without his support.

'I know.'

'It was harder than anything else…I got to the hospital and she was already….'

'I know.' And she knew that he did know, so she just leaned into his side and followed him through the town, past all the townspeople, who looked at the soaked pair with curiosity in their eyes. Their stares were met with the tired, uncaring gaze of the seventeen year old girl, and the hard "back off" stare of Jess, as he led her into the diner and up the stairs, away from their prying eyes. As they entered the dark apartment, the curtains drawn to block out the sun, Jess noticed that Luke was sat on the couch in the dark. Today had been hard on him as well, more than he'd let anyone else see, but Jess was good at reading people, he knew how much Luke had loved Lorelai, even if he'd never admitted it to anyone.

'Hey…Rory? What are you doing here, is everything…?' He trailed off knowing that for this girl nothing would be ok, he rubbed his head and looked at Jess for the answer to his unfinished question.

'Rory's going to stay with us for a while.' Jess replied guiding Rory to his own bed, and letting her lay down before indicating for Luke to follow him to the hall.

'What's going on?' Luke asked closing the door behind him.

'She can't face going back to her house.'

'She said that?'

'She didn't have to…did you know that last night she slept at the bridge?' Jess asked.

'No! She said she was staying with her grandparents.' Luke said in shock.

'Yeah and she told them she was staying at Lane's, she told Lane she wanted to spend the night in her own home…but none of it was true, she couldn't face going back to that house and she couldn't face being around anyone.' Jess replied. 'She can't go back there yet.'

'Ok…and she wants to stay here?'

'I think so.' Jess replied. 'I'm pretty sure she needs to be somewhere that she can just grieve…without all the fussing and concern.'

'So we're not concerned?' Luke crossed his arms over his chest.

'Of course we are! But Rory knows how much you loved Lorelai, she knows that out of everyone you're probably feeling almost as much of this as much as she is, so she doesn't have to explain it to you, you'll just get it…and I…'

'Yeah I know, I've noticed it. You understand her like nobody else could, Lorelai noticed it as well, before….' Luke looked like he was about to break down.

'She hated me.' Jess said leaning against the wall.

'No she didn't, she was just scared because of how well you and Rory connected, she told me once.' Luke said smiling slightly. 'So…why are you both soaked?'

'Oh…Rory went swimming.' Jess shrugged going back inside.

'Huh?' Luke shook his head, deciding that they'd tell him in time if they wanted him to know.

(&)

Rory's eyes adjusted to the gloomy light around her, she sat up in bed trying to remember where she was. She looked down and saw herself dressed in a Metallica t-shirt and some sweatpants, and she remembered changing into them last night, Jess had brought her here to sleep. As she got out of bed she saw Jess, sleeping on the blow up mattress that had been his bed when he first got to town, Luke wasn't anywhere in sight so she assumed he'd gone out. She was surprised that she'd slept at all the night before, it was the first time since her mothers death that she'd managed to sleep for more than half an hour. There was something about this place that made her feel safe, slowly she wandered into the bathroom, where someone had hung her clothes from the day before, they were still wet so she went back into the main room, pulled open one of Jess' draws and picked out a black button down shirt and a black t-shirt with The Clash written on it, returning to the bathroom she turned the shower on until the water was scolding hot, then stepped under the jet of water, letting it burn her skin. Twenty minutes later she stepped out and towelled herself off, dried her hair and brushed it but left it hanging loose. She took the t-shirt and pulled it over her head, and then picked up the shirt, buttoned it up and tied the arms round her waist, turning it into a knee length skirt, she was pleased with her make-shirt outfit and returned to the main room. By the time she was out, Jess had woken and was making breakfast, the smell of bacon, eggs, toast, sausages and coffee filled the air, along with the pancakes that he was currently cooking, and suddenly Rory thought about how disappointed her mom would be, if she knew that she hadn't been eating since the accident. As Jess looked over at her with a smirk as he took in her outfit, she offered him a weak smile and sat at the table.

'I like the look.' Jess said placing a plate of food in front of her, watching her carefully to make sure that she ate it, though he kept busy pouring her coffee so she wouldn't know he was watching.

'Thanks.' Rory said taking a bite of her pancakes, they tasted so good but she just kept thinking it wasn't right, she should be sat down in the diner with her mom eating this, getting ready to go shopping and making summer plans. 'Where's Luke?'

'He said he had an appointment.'

'Oh…'

'I don't know where.' Jess said sitting down opposite her. 'You staying in today?'

She nodded her head in response. He'd figured as much, and he also knew that before long there would be a line of visitors for her.

'Seeing anyone?'

'No!' Her eyes went wide and she shook her head.

'Ok I'll keep them all away.' Jess said calmingly, she nodded her head slowly.

'You can stay…I mean if you want.' Rory said quietly, and Jess understood. This was Rory's safe place, she felt protected here and she didn't want anyone besides herself, him and Luke entering, it would shatter the bubble for her.

'I'll stay then.' Jess said. 'If you eat your breakfast.'

'I want too but…'

'You don't need to feel guilty Rory, she wouldn't have wanted that.' Jess said quietly, and then it was ok, he'd said exactly what she needed to hear, it was almost as though he was giving her permission to eat the food. She nodded again and started to eat. Jess relaxed a little.

(%)

Luke entered the apartment and found the two teenagers sat on the couch together, the curtains had been opened and the windows were pushed open letting in the summer air. Both Rory and Jess were reading books, Rory had her head rested on Jess' lap and Luke knew that being here was a comfort for her. They hadn't noticed him enter so he cleared his throat, Rory moved her book and looked over at him, sitting up as though she was embarrassed to be found so cosy with Jess. Feeling guilty that she was acting as though nothing had happened, but she shrugged it off, knowing neither Jess or Luke would see it that way, they'd know she was just trying to cope.

'I need to talk to you both.' Luke said sitting at the table, his tone was serious and the two younger ones looked at one another, Jess was first to move going over and sitting at the table, Rory followed slowly sitting next to Jess.

'Is this about the appointment you had?' Jess asked.

'Yes.' Luke nodded.

'Was it…a doctors appointment? You're not sick are you?' Rory felt panic sweep through her, she'd just lost her mother, she couldn't cope if she lost her father figure as well.

'No, no I'm fine.' Luke reassured her. 'I was called in to see a lawyer,'

'Oh?' Rory looked at him in confusion.

'You're mother left me something in her will.' Luke said swallowing hard.

'She did? What'd she leave you?' Rory asked.

'The house, and her savings…' Luke said quietly. 'With the condition that I put the money into a trust fund for you…and she…'

'What Luke?' Rory asked.

'Uh…she…left me you.' Luke replied.

'Wh…what? How…I mean…' Rory couldn't think straight, her mind was spinning.

'Your father agreed that in the case of her….death….he'd allow her to pick a guardian for you, he was there today and he'd assumed that she'd choose either himself of your grandparents…but she made it clear in the will, she wanted me to take care of you…goodness knows why.' Luke shook his head, 'But if you want to live with us then you can, we can all move into your house, or if you'd prefer we could sell it and get a new house…or rent it out and find somewhere else to live if you don't want to get rid of the house….it's your choice and there's no rush.' Luke explained. 'And there was this.' He handed Rory a letter that was addressed to her in her mothers handwriting, tears sprung to her eyes as she took the envelope and held it gently.

'I'm just going to…' She pointed to the door and Jess and Luke nodded their understanding, she headed out onto the stairs and sat down at the top, carefully opening the envelope.

My Darling Rory,

So, Luke? Yeah you may be wondering if I'd lost my mind, I guess you're head is a little muddled trying to work out what's going on. Though I guess if you're reading this you're thinking more than just my sanity.

Honey I never wanted you to read this, I was hoping that when I died you'd been old and wouldn't need a guardian, but the best laid plans never work out.

So listen I don't want you to be sad, it'll sound stupid to you at the moment, but I want you to live your life, I don't want you to stand still and forget all your plans because I'm gone. I love you too much to expect that kind of devotion, although I do deserve a little devotion don't you think…did I get a smile? I hope I did.

Anyway I digress, back to Luke, you probably thought you'd go and live with your dad right, or your grandparents. Perhaps you hadn't even thought about it, but you're smart so you've probably given it at least a fleeting thought, and now you have this news and you find out that your crazy mother has left you to the diner owner. Let me tell you why, your father isn't a father…ok that's stupid he's obviously you're father but he isn't father material, otherwise when I spoke to him about who would get you in the event of my death, he would have said I was stupid and of course he'd take you, but he didn't, he told me I could pick, and that told me all I needed to know. He loves you kid, but he didn't know how to raise you. As for your grandparents well, I knew you'd want to stay in stars hollow, and I knew that they'd drive you crazy. So you're probably wondering why I didn't pick Sookie, or Mrs Kim, or one of the other hundred people in that town who would be more than willing you take you in. Well here's the thing kid, I love you enough to know that you'd be best off with Luke, he's the father you always deserved, he loves you like he's your real father and he'd do anything to protect you, he also cooks really good food, oh and he makes coffee. Besides that he's the person I trust most in this world, I know I can always rely on him to do what's right, I know he'll always be there, and I love him. Boy I never thought I'd write that, there it is though, maybe I won't die young and I'll get the courage to tell him that, if not I've written him a letter as well and I told him, he deserves to know. I hope you understand my reasons, besides that I have one other reason, in the form of a sarcastic, annoying, jaded, bad tempered seventeen year old nephew that Luke has, that's right I'm writing this after he's got to town, you probably though I'd written this when you were really little, which is true, I've known I wanted to leave you with Luke for a long time, but I update the letters each year, morbid? I suppose, but I eat tonnes of candy while I do it to balance it out, and then I watch a comedy.

Anyway back to Jess, I know you'll need someone to lean on right now, and however much I hate to admit it, Jess is going to be that person for you, he gets you babes, more than anyone else so he'll know how to help you, let him in, but don't forget you have a wonderful boyfriend, don't push Dean away, he may not be able to comfort you like Jess can, but he's doing his best, and as for the town, they love you and when you're ready they'll be there waiting with open arms.

I love you baby, and I'm so sorry if I've left you before you're grown, if you get this letter then I never saw you graduate high school, or college, I never saw you get married and have kids, but baby believe me you'll be ok. I'll always love you, you're going to do great things and I know one day your name will be in print.

Before I put this letter away there's one other thing I want to say. It's about the house, what you do with it is entirely your choice, I know Luke will agree with that, but honey don't be scared to go back there, remember that memories are in your head, so even if you hide away all the stuff that reminds you of me, you'll not forget me, so don't make yourself miserable, remember all the good stuff, and there was a lot, and please baby girl remember to smile and laugh, don't feel guilty to be happy.

I love you always,

The best mom in the world : )

Xxx

Rory gripped the paper tightly and cried, the letter was so Lorelai, filled with serious stuff but mixed in with jokes to make her laugh. Rory's whole body shook with sobs as she tucked the letter, written on hello kitty stationary, into it's envelope and laid it beside her.

After about fifteen minutes, Rory stood up with the envelope in her hand and brush the dust off her makeshift skirt, she wiped her eyes and stepped back inside the apartment. Jess and Luke looked up at her tear stained face with concern.

'Can we go to the house?' She asked quietly. Luke just nodded in response and the three of them left the apartment.

A/N- Ok so it's different from my other fics but I hope you like it, please review and let me know what you all think. xoxo