I know my country isn't perfect. Which country ever was? Every country deserves a chance at failure and correction. I'm only nine and I already know this. Why, you ask? Because my Dad is a Senator, one of the few that have earned our glorious Elector Primo's real trust.
The Elector is really sick right now. The Senators have already been told to start listening to Anden, his son. They hate it, since Anden is only a "boy." I don't know, but he seems way older than me.
Since my father is a Senator, one of the two that are in charge of the biochemical weapons for the war between the Republic and the Colonies, I literally live at the development camps. The development camps are where, obviously, they create their weapons and things. I visit frequently, and know every nook and cranny that even the hundreds of soldiers milling about have no clue about. I knew everything about the camp, the whole lay-out, the stations of each and every soldier, and even which lab was for what kind of warfare weapons.
You can imagine my surprise when one day, seemingly out of nowhere, a new basement popped up. I wouldn't exactly call it a basement since it isn't underneath anything, but there is a trapdoor at the back of the electrobombs making building.(steel alloy, bronze bolts, fake dust luster, as if someone was disguising it's newness.)
I had only been gone for about two days, so how had they built something so new and my father hadn't told me about? My father always wanted me to know every single detail about the camp, since he wanted me to do well on my Trials, next year. He says memory is very important, which is why I memorize nearly everything, and observe all around me.
There was an entry code at the handle. I hacked it in less than ten seconds, and swung the door open with a lot of effort. (Even if I am super smart, I am still a nine-year-old.)
On the inside of the door was painted a weird symbol. Like a red X with another line through the middle. What does that mean?
I creep in; careful to check I can still get out, and climb down a narrow ladder, into the darkness. My eyes slowly adjust to the dim lantern-light illuminating the tunnel. I inch forward, keeping an eye out for soldiers on patrol. I could get in a lot of trouble if they found me down here unaccompanied.
I finally reached a metal door, with another keypad and a glass window beside it. (Thick, bulletproof from the inside, with an intercom in the middle.) There is a desk and several beeping machines a few feet away from the window. One glance tells me that the machines are monitoring someone's breathing and heart pulse. I peer through the window, expecting an adult to be in there, either doctors or soldiers, but all I see is a boy around my age lying on a metal procedure table.
I look over my shoulder before tip-toeing closer to the door and opening it. I observe that it isn't locked; from the inside or the outside. Good. That will make it easier for me to get out again.
I walk to the table quietly, afraid to disturb the boy that looks like he is sleeping soundly. Once I get closer than a foot though, his eyelids flutter open and I find myself staring at his irises. They're purple.
Not just any purple, the reddish purple that looks like pooled blood. At closer examination, I realize that his eyes are probably tinted with real blood. Why would his eyes be bleeding?
"Hi," He croaks, a nervous smile sitting on his lips. His eyes are to the left of me, so I'm guessing he is going blind. I relax a bit. That means that if someone interrogates him about me, he won't be able to describe me. Then I feel terrible for wishing a boy my age to go blind.
"Hello." I answer.
"Who are you? Are you getting me out? Please, get me out. I want my mom. And my brother, John. And- and I want Daniel too." The boy's eyes are darting around aimlessly as I walk around him, trying to pinpoint my location. I can tell I am getting him nervous and anxious, so I pause at the foot of the table. His gaze is now angled to the right.
"I'm Gwyneth." I say, the only answer I can provide. What is he talking about? Dad would never take anyone against their will, unless they are criminals. So, shouldn't he be willing to be here? "What are you doing here?"
He sighs, and looks down at his hands. I can see them trembling. "They're doing some kind of tests on me. I have a different type of plaque, and they are trying to develop it into something they can use in the war."
My eyes widen. "So, they're using you to make a chemical weapon? Are you here as a volunteer?"
He shakes his head rapidly. "I'm not a volunteer at all!" His voice turns disgusted. "Don't you know anything?"
I immediately turn defensive. "I know lots." I protest. "I'm perfectly prepared for my Trials."
He barks a laugh, but ends up coughing. "You're just a stupid little kid." He says. "You don't know anything about this, and you should be glad about it."
"I'm not stupid. I know lots." I repeat. This boy was very rude. "You don't even know who you're talking to."
"Yeah?" He says. "Well, I do only know your name. Who are you? What is your title?"
I pull myself up tall. "I am Gwyneth Malto, daughter of Senator Joshua Malto." One look at the boy tells me he knows that name.
"You're his daughter? No wonder you're so stupid. But shouldn't you know more, since your dad is a Senator?" His voice starts out loud and rude, but his face falls and a blush dusts his cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm not normally like this. I hate being rude." He lies on his back and stare at the blank ceiling. "I miss my brothers." His head swings to my direction. "Can you find out about them? Please?"
The sorrow I hear in his voice is enough for my heart to clench. Why was he down here if he wasn't willing? The least I could do was to find out about his family. I nod solemnly and glance behind me. "I should get going. There must be a guard coming by soon" I turn to the door and hesitate. I look back at the boy. "I still don't know your name."
He stares back at me and I can't figure out why my heart clenches when his gaze can only fix to the left of me. "My name is Eden. Eden Wing."
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I've visited Eden for the past few weeks, even when I have no information on his brothers. I heard the one named Daniel had died, but then I overheard Father talking to another Senator about how it was the wrong brother, and Daniel was still alive. John was the one that died.
When I told Eden, his face contorted into a horrible expression, one of uncontainable pain and sorrow, one of despair and desperation. But being the optimistic boy he is, he grimaced a smile and tried to steady his voice. "It could have been worse." He had said, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "It could have been both of them. Daniel could have died, too. But he didn't, so there's still hope.
Then his purple eyes turned on me and desperation leaked into his voice. "Right?"
All I could do was nod and hug him, then quickly leave, knowing he needed some time to himself to get over it. Before the door was even closed, I heard him let out a heart-breaking sob.
I overhear lots of things from Father. He talks as if I'm not there, as if I cannot hear a word he says. But I do, and I remember every word. I remember the day that June Iparis was discovered. The Senators were in chaos. They were organizing a plan, something I didn't understand. Something about the Elector Primo's son.
It is official. The glorious Elector Primo has died, leaving his son, Anden, to lead his country. Father is upset. He constantly has fits, ranting about the insufficiency of Anden and his ideas. He says Anden is just a boy and he doesn't understand the way of the world yet. I don't speak out loud, but on the inside I think, Why do you speak of the world when all we ever see is the Republic? I have never seen a world map in all my nine years, not even once. Not even when I looked in Father's heavy books he keeps locked up in his study.
Eden gets better every day, and his attitude to the things he encounters has changed drastically. Before, every time I went to go see him, he'd beg me to let him go. He'd cry and get angry, but there was nothing I could do without risking my own safety and we both knew that. Eventually, he started laughing more; smiling as soon as the door opened and he heard my voice.
"One of the doctors told me the new Elector is going to free me," Eden squeaks onetime. I feel happiness for him, but a deep foreboding, too. If he leaves, I will not have anyone to speak to anymore. I have no friends; they are all frightened of my father.
"That's great." I say, a painful smile etched on my face. I'm glad for the first time that he cannot see me. Knowing him, he would worry, and I would have ruined his happiness.
"I'll finally see…"His voice cracks at the end, forcing him to break off, but we both know what he was going to say. I'll finally see Daniel. I'm angry he can't look forward to seeing his oldest brother or mother, too.
"I…" My voice starts hoarse and I realize I'm starting to cry. I wipe my eyes quickly and clear my throat like Father. "I'm happy for you." Eden reaches his hand out to me and I grasp it.
"I'll miss you," He whispers. His fingers are damp with sweat and trembling. I think I hear a trendily of remorse in his voice. I smile and rub circles on the back of his hand. He'd told me his mother used to do that.
"Promise you'll find me after?" I ask, clamping my other hand on top of his. His right hand joins the cluster and he squeezes.
"I promise, Gwyn,"
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Today is the day Eden's leaving for Antarctica. I have finally seen a world map. I'm ten now. His brother Daniel- Day- and him are leaving today at noon for the balmy country of Antarctica. I hear rumors all around about them. I close my ears to these voices; thinking of Eden will only make my heart ache more.
My father has been executed for plotting against Anden. He and Commander DeSoto and several other Senators were plotting to assassinate the Elector Primo, but June Iparis had intercepted. She and Day had led the country to trust the Elector and stay on his side, to fight the Colonies. The war with the Colonies was long, but too short for me to forget about my father's death. Every day, I see him behind my eyelids, his looming figure and his whispered rumors about the Elector. Mother is still devastated.
The first time I met June was at a party celebrating the Republic's victory over the Colonies, and the well-timed help of the Antarcticans. Mother had dressed me in one of the nicer dresses I owned, worth 3,ooo Republic Notes. It was a pretty blue dress with silk and gauze layers. June was wearing a scarlet dress, something too gorgeous to describe. From the moment I laid eyes on her, I knew she was the one I would always look up to.
Mother had gone to the restroom, telling me to go find some other kids to speak with, and I had run into June instead. We talked, and I had asked her if she knew Day and Eden. Her face fell, her smile disappearing and I almost cried for her.
"I'm sorry," I had said, "I didn't mean to make you feel bad,"
She told me it was alright and she led me to some chairs and told me all about Day and Eden. I had listened intently, wanting to suck up every detail she knew about them, and every detail that could help me on my quest to be like her.
Mother came back and they talked, June asking if she needed help taking care of me. June offered to have me over as company on weekdays so Mother could work peacefully, and she had agreed. So, every weekday for the next eight years, I have gone over to June's apartment, up until my nineteenth birthday. I finally stayed home by myself every day, although I visited June often enough.
Now, she treats me like her friend, less like a younger sister. I'm the one who she talks to about her relationship with Anden, and the one that supported her when she decided to break up with him. I'm also the one that June called over on her brother's death anniversary to visit his grave. I have never met Metias before, but from the stories June tells me, he was a pretty awesome guy.
I wish I knew him, as much as I wish I knew Day or knew Eden better. I wonder every day what Eden looks like now. They've been in Antarctica for 12 years now. I hear rumors about them, but rumors change and shift like the ocean tide. I can't believe anything I hear, and that makes me long to see Eden even more.
My earpiece buzzes and I press into the button. "Hello?" I say.
"Gwyn, it's me." June says. I can hear her voice, all tight and breathless.
"June," I say, "How are you?" I look at my watch. "Since the half hour I have left you for,"
"Gwyn, I saw Day," She says.
"Okay- What?" I ask. My voice hitches. "He's- they're- back?"
"You haven't seen the Jumbotron announcements? He's back with Eden since Eden is applying for a job in engineering. I just met them on the street a minute ago." June says. She sounds worried.
"Did he recognize you?"
"I don't think so, at least, not yet." June says, her voice just a whisper. "But someone's bound to accidently tell him about our past. I don't want him to hate me again." Her words sound of pain. "I don't ever want to see that look in his eyes." I know the look. She's told me about it several times, every time she starts to miss him and needs convincing what she did was right. Normally, no one would even dare to think of June as someone needing comfort, with her strong personality and wit. But on sensitive things like Day, she always needs someone to talk to.
"Don't worry about it," I say, "There's nothing you can do, and even if he finds out, I'm sure he won't blame you for what you did. The past is in the past, and everyone needs to move on." I hesitate before speaking again. "Is- Is Eden there?"
She laughs. "Yes, he's coming to dinner, too." She pauses. "I already asked Tess if it would be alright if I invited you to come. Could you come? For me? To see Eden?" I hear the rare vulnerability in her voice and I smile.
"Of course. What time?"
"Six," June says. "I can't believe Tess invited them! I'm so flustered, Gwyn, I'm so grateful you're coming."
"I understand," I say, a laugh working its way out of my mouth. "But I'm doing this for Eden."
She huffs and I can practically see her smooth her high ponytail with her right hand and pressing the other to her ear. "Well, that's fine, too, I suppose."
"I'll see you at six at Tess's apartment, alright? I'm almost at mine, and Mom's waiting for me. If there's nothing else, I'm saying good-bye."
"Okay," June says. "Really, thank you, Gwyneth."
"It's not a problem." With that, I click my tongue and switch the microphone off.
I reach the front door of our apartment and I enter the key to let myself in. "Mom?"
"In the living room, Gwyn!"
"Mom, June just gave me a last minute invite to Tess's for dinner at six." I say, unlacing my boots and kicking them off. I pad into the living room and find Mom on the couch wither paperwork from work spread across the table.
"Oh, that's wonderful," She looks up, an apologetic look on her face. "I didn't have time to cook today, so you'd have to make something for dinner, but if you're going out, I won't worry about you at the meeting."
I give her a kiss on the cheek and she smiles. "It's June's birthday isn't it?" She asks. "Did you get her anything?"
"Yes, I've had it ready for almost a month now." I say, standing up and checking the hologram clock on the wall. It reads 1730 hours. "I have to go get ready; the ride to Tess's house is about 15 minutes." Tess lives on the far side of Ruby sector. We live in Emerald Sector.
"Alright, wish me fun, and I'll wish you," She says, chuckling. She knows her meetings will never prove to be fun.
I laugh with her and enter my room to change into casual clothing. My official uniform is a little physically restricting which isn't a good thing for a military job, but fine for someone training to be a Senator, like me. I change into a sleek, black pencil skirt with a tiny slit on the side and a loose-fitting white blouse. I add a thin gold belt and a gold necklace. I hate wearing earrings. I slip my feet into comfortable boat- shaped high heels and walk out of the room with a light dusting of make-up. I don't normally dress up like this for dinner at Tess's, but I can't get Eden out of my mind.
"I'm leaving, Mom!" I call, passing by the living room and grabbing my purse off of the table in the hall. "Have fun!"
"You too," She says, and the door shuts. I walk swiftly down the street and down the stairs to the subway. My train arrives seconds after me and I step on. Ten minutes later, it stops at the station underneath Tess's house and I get off, climbing the stairs to the open air and heading to Tess's apartment.
I ring the doorbell and I hear voices on the other side, hesitant laughter and Tess's bright voice above everything else. It sounds like she's trying to strike up lots of conversation. The door finally opens and I look up with a smile and a greeting sitting on my tongue.
"Hi-" My voice catches when I realize who it is. He's much taller, about ten inches taller than me, with shaggy blond curls falling into his face. His eyes are still kind of purple, but there's less of the purple and more of his original striking blue. He's wearing a light purple dress shirt, tight-fitting so I can see the muscles of his abdomen, and dark jeans. Eden.
"Hi, you must be…" I can tell he doesn't actually know my name.
"I'm Gwyneth Malto," I say. I'm relieved my voice doesn't squeak. "You must be Eden Wing,"
He nods and smiles. "Come on in, I'm sure June will be happy to see you." Uh-oh, does that mean she's having a hard time with Day?
I step into the apartment and can immediately smell a lovely aroma and the tension in the air. I see June sitting on the sofa in the living room and Tess on the loveseat beside that. A man that looks strikingly like Eden, without the purple eyes, sits on a chair across from June on Tess's other side. That must be Day. They all turn to look at me when I enter.
I offer a small smile. "Hello, I'm Gwyneth Malto," I say, extending a hand to Day. He shakes it in a friendly manner and his smile seems genuine. I glance at June. All the tension must be from her then. "Very pleased to finally meet you, uh," I clear my throat. "I was just wondering what you'd like to be called now," Behind me, I feel June perk up, as if she hadn't thought of the question.
"I'd prefer Daniel," He says with a laugh. "But old habits are hard to break."
There is a lull in conversation and everyone is awkward. "June, can I speak to you for a moment?" I ask. I don't wait for her answer and tug her into the next room. "This isn't like you at all!"
"What can I say? I told you he makes me a different person." She leans against the wall. "This was a total mistake. I should have stayed home."
"You are not going to back down now." I say fiercely. "Make conversation; talk about him, or even about yourself! You are not wimpy normally, so show him that! I know you're still hurting about letting him go, but he's here now, and you two can start over again. He's seems wonderful, June, you're just shutting yourself away from him. Don't do that, show him who you are, and everything will be fine."
She sighs and closes her eyes before nodding sharply. "I can do this. Come on,"
We go back to the living room and discover that Tess went into the kitchen to save the turkey she's cooking. Eden is sitting where Tess used to be and June and I sit together on the sofa. "So, Eden, where do you want to apply to?" I ask.
He perks up and leans forward, brushing his sleeves up his arms. "I used to think about going into weapon design, but I'm thinking that… Well, you know, my past experiences with those camps aren't exactly the brightest." My throat dries when he mentions that. I wonder if he at all recognizes me. "So then, I was thinking about architecture, like designing new buildings with amazing functions. But buildings are so boring. I think I'm definitely going into technology inventions, like fingerprint scanning pens and other cool things. Things that could help the officers solve crimes faster and help in basically everything that goes on these days. Everything relies on technology."
"That's interesting," June says. "Gwyn is training to be a Senator with control over technology regulations." Eden's eyes brighten even farther and he turns to me.
"That's really amazing," I love the sincerity of his voice. "You'll give me special passes for my inventions, right?" He laughs and I do too.
"I haven't secured the position. I'm still in training with other candidates. There's a chance I won't be picked." I say.
Day- Daniel – finally speaks up. "What did you say your last name was?"
I flush and look down. "Um, Malto," Oh, god, now they'd remember what my father did.
Before any of them can say anything, June speaks. "Her father was one of the Senators that tried to assassinate And- the Elector Primo. But Gwyn is nothing like her father. She's sweet and has a confident personality."
I lift my head hesitantly and smile awkwardly. "Yeah, my dad was kind of screwed up."
Eden nods. "I know what you mean. It's okay. I've met lots of people who had parents or relatives with bad influences on the country, but were still good people." He looks as if he's in thought. "Malto, you said?"
"Yeah," I reply. Is he remembering me? Do I want him to remember me? Of course I do. My hands clutch the sofa.
"Did you… Was your father…. He was a Senator?" Eden asks.
"Yes," I say. My heartbeat quickens. His mouth opens with realization – I hope- and I'm waiting for him to say he remembers me and that he wants to be friends again. But Tess calls out.
"Dinner's ready! Come on down to the dining table."
June stands up and smiles. "I'll show you two down."
"I-" I stammer, "I'm going to go help Tess with the food. I'll meet you there." June casts me a concerned look. Normally I hate helping to carry dishes, but I need to get away from Eden for a moment. I can tell he was going to say he remembered me, and I need to collect myself from the interruption.
I step into the kitchen and nearly run into Tess carrying a platter of turkey. Steam rises off the glistening turkey skin and it smells delicious. "I can carry that, Tess." Tess is still rather short, even at 26, and her muscles are still nonexistent. I take the platter from her and she walks behind me with her other plates of food to the dining table. June, Eden, and Daniel gush over the turkey.
"You outdid yourself, Tess," June says, touching Tess's arm with gratitude. "I couldn't have a better birthday dinner."
"You said that last year." Tess laughs. I set the turkey on the table and Tess sets the other plates down. "Enjoy,"
I sit down in the only empty seat left; next to Daniel. June must have been scared to sit next to him, so she sat beside Eden and left me a seat across from Eden. We pass the plates around and shovel food onto our plates. All of it looks and tastes delicious; proving Tess' skill has improved since they last met her. Although, when they last saw her, she didn't even know how to cook. I think it's this realization that makes Daniel and Eden eat in silence.
"So," Tess says. "What were you guys talking about when I left?"
"Eden's job applications." June says. She's always the first one to answer questions; she's used to everyone expecting her to know the answers. She looks at Eden. "You were going to say something, Eden, before Tess called us to dinner?"
Eden flushes and glances to me. "Uh, yeah." He finishes chewing and swallows. "I was just going to say, uh, you just look really familiar." I'm a little disappointed he hadn't straight-out said he knew who I was – I can tell from his eyes that he does- but I understand that with Daniel here, he doesn't want him to be all protective. Da- Daniel seems like the kind of brother that would get protective about his little brother coming close to someone with such a bad past.
Daniel laughs. "I could say the exact thing to June,"
June's smile is small, and I can feel the tension behind it, but it's genuine. "And why would you say that?"
"I already told you." Day says, leaning across the table. "When I saw you, I felt like I found something I had lost." June's face flushes when he says this and I can tell it makes her happy. June never shows her emotions this obviously. Day must be really special. Instead of answering, she looks down at her plate.
"So," Tess clears her throat. "Day- Daniel-"
Daniel interrupts with a laugh. "You should keep calling me Day. It seems like no one can change their ways."
I smile. "Oh thank goodness; I have to correct your name in my head and it's ruining everything."
The rest of dinner is full of conversation, Day asking about Tess' hospital job, June asking Day how Antarctica was, and Eden talking to me about the advancement of technology in the Republic. It is a wonderful feeling to have my best and only friend from my childhood back. Eden still laughs that same way and has that large right dimple every time he smiles. He gestures when he talks, sometimes pushing back his sleeves to have more range in motion.
Finally, June interrupted the talk. "I have to go. I have a meeting early in the morning and I still have to look over some files."
Tess frowns. "Why didn't Anden give you a day off like he always does?"
"He did, but I didn't want one. Its-" June sighs. "It's hard this year. I need something to take my mind off of it for a bit." Tess and I both nod in understanding. She means that this year, she is officially older than Metias' ever was. We both know it's really hard for her.
I push back out of my chair. "I should leave, too."
Day stands up too. "I'll walk you back." He says to June, and looks at Eden. "You can get home alright, right?"
Eden nods and looks at me. "Um, yeah. I can walk you, if you want?"
I just nod wordlessly and step out into the hall. June and Day are ahead of me, Eden beside me, and Tess follows us asking if we have everything.
"Thanks for the dinner, Tess. It was delicious." I say, picking up my purse and handing June hers.
"That was nothing," Tess says, winking at Day and Eden. "You should see the food I make for holidays."
We file out the door, each chorusing our goodbyes to Tess and thanking her for the "wonderful dinner" and "lovely company." Those were mostly from Eden and June; Day wasn't exactly the gushing type. Day and June split off to the left and Eden and I go to the right, heading for the subway stairs. I can still hear them laughing as we walk down the quiet street and feel even more conscious about the silence floating between us.
"So, I-" We speak at the same time, then I blush and look down.
"Sorry-" Again; at the same time. Eden gestures at me. I shake my head.
"No, you go first." I say. He looks down and then up at the night sky.
"I know who you are," he says to the sky, "you're that girl from the labs; the one that always visited me. Gwyneth Malto. You were the only friend I'd ever had as a child. Sure, the reasons we met were rather horrible," he looks at me now. I can feel his eyes on my face, but I don't dare to turn my head. "But I'm glad I met you."
"Eden," I say, and then stop. The look on his face is the same as when I told him about John dying. Sad, worried, and utter confusion. He must be remembering everything I ever told him. "I'm sorry, Eden. You should never have met me. I was so horrible to you; I should have gotten you out on day one, but I didn't and I can't tell you how sorry I am for that. And every day I just pretended that what was happening to you in the labs wasn't happening. I'm so sorry."
Eden shakes his head. "No."
"No?" I finally turn my head to look at him. His blue eyes are streaked with pale purple, a beautiful reminder of his plague. I can feel all my memories threatening to flood into my vision so I look away from his eyes. "No?" I say again, softer.
"No." He agrees. "We were both so young, Gwyn, you had no power over anything, and were lucky things played out the way they did."
"I could have done something." I insist. "I'm still the Senator's daughter."
"You would have just been a meddlesome child. Why would he listen to you? What would he do after he found out that you were hanging around with me? At best, he would have lectured you and discarded your ideas. At worst, he would have punished you, and made it worse for me. You did the best you could do." He reaches out and takes both of my hands in his. I stare at them, my hands numb, and my nerves not registering the enclosing heat upon them. "Gwyneth, look at me." I look up. "You were my friend," He says softly, his eyes searching mine, "at the time I needed one the most. You made all the difference in the world."
"Eden," My voice trails off as I swim deeper into his eyes.
"Okay?" He asks. He tugs on my hands.
"Okay." I tug him back.
"We better get you home," He says, looking at the sky. "It's getting late." I nod and we continue walking, then boarding the subway. We're almost at my home before I realize we're still holding hands. Eden doesn't seem to mind, at least he isn't showing it, but who knows, he might be too nice to break it off. I gently tug my hand out as we walk, but he grasps it back.
"Until you're home," He says, answering the question in my eyes. "I…" He blushes. "I just want to know you're still here, and I've still got a friend."
I smile at him and we walk all the way back home with our hands clasped. I'm home alone; the lights all off, before I feel the warmth of his palm fade away. I fold my hands over each other and hold them to my chest, pressing the warm palm over my skin.
"He's back," I whisper into the shadows. "He's back,"