Just a one shot I felt like writing. R&R :)
Never Known Love
When she's getting hurt, Blair tends to run. She's running to the safe, familiar place she knows best. She couldn't possibly count the number of times she had to run to feel better, to feel safe again. She doesn't know how to deal with herself, which is always a surprise to the ears of everyone who knows her just enough to realize she's Blair Waldorf, there's nothing she can't cope with. Apparently there is.
She's looking outside the window of the cab; it's snowing, at the wrong time of the year, again. Yet, she finds the winter soothing, she always had a thing for snow. It was white, and perfect, something she always tried to achieve, but failed every single time, until she eventually stopped trying.
That day, four years ago, when she stopped trying, is the day she married Chuck Bass, the same Chuck Bass, the successful often drunk and abusive business man, the same person who made her feel alive but half dead. She'd say she had enough, but that's what she says every single time he's hurting her, and she's always coming back to his arms after he apologizes and buy her a piece of jewelry. She can't admit it, but she's one of those wives, the ones who won't leave their husbands because they can't imagine what it's like to be alone all over again.
Once upon a time, she was Blair Waldorf, the powerful woman nobody even bothered to mess with. Now, she's Blair Bass, the frightened wife of a billionaire who's never home. Such a cliché. She stepped out of the cab and stared at the tall building.
She thanked god he's still single, she couldn't bare to see him get married to someone else but her, even though they barely even speak, she'll never forget the Vanderbilt ring, and the way she smiled at the thought of her finger wearing that ring instead of Chuck's. But she couldn't, she wouldn't, her teenage years were over even before the was an actual teenager, and she might have lost a lot of things that used to make her Blair Waldorf, but her imagination never left its residence inside her head.
She imagines herself in a bridal gown when she climbs the stairs to his apartment; she imagines the whole ceremony the second he opens the door, smiling at her with his unique Archibald smile, making her heart melt. She snaps back to reality when he's greeting her with a soft kiss on the lips. Here it goes all over again.