A/N: Alright people, I apologise, but I love this pairing! No, actually, I don't apologise! They're perfect together, and who cares about the age difference? Well, here's my take on a very special moment they share. Oh, and.. this is my first real one-shot..

Summary: It's Christmas, and as the Potter-Weasley family gathers, but one is missing. Lily is torn up about Teddy's absence, even though she's well aware of the reasons; Victoire, her fiancé and full moon. Lily feels smothered, and wants out. But when a Teddy makes a surprise visit on Christmas Day, her mood changes, and she decides she will force him to see her. However, all of her efforts are ignored by them all. All, except for Teddy.

Please, tell me what you think! :)

Enjoy!

All Except Teddy

Christmas at the Potters. Forgive me if I'm not the first to cheer, but this occasion doesn't seem very cheerful, unfortunately.

It's not that I hate my family. I don't even dislike them. I love them all. It's just… well, the fact that we're the Potters, that's what's bothering me. Being a Potter means being followed by inhumane expectations. I have to be the best, the prettiest, the smartest, the strongest, just because my entire family is famous. My brothers, James and Albus, have never seemed to mind the expectations, and have thrived with them. James, though being the troublemaker in school, graduated Hogwarts with brilliant marks, was Prefect from his fifth year, was the captain of the Quidditch team and had been adored by every girl, in every house, in every year. Even the female teachers had a soft spot for him. Albus was the brightest student in his year. He scored the highest on his O.W.L.s and on his N.E.W.T.s, and he was appointed Head Boy. He was the most grounded person in the family, and had already, two years after graduation, been offered an apprenticeship with a famous Magika philosopher and wandmaker in Paris, with ambitions of studying wandlore. I was the only one who hadn't scored perfect, hadn't been appointed Head Girl or Prefect and hadn't done anything remarkable, whatsoever. I got into the Quidditch team. That's about it. And not only does the Potter family exceed the public's expectation, but they also like to talk about their achievements, which I have none.

So, Christmas was one of the worst holidays ever. Why? Because it was 'family time', and in the Potter family, that meant encouraging ambitions and achievements. This was my last holiday break, and since my N.E.W.T.s were coming up, that would be the centre of attention this year. Oh, and not to mention; the entire Weasley clan was coming, as well. Dad had made several extension spells around the house to make it big enough, and when all the Christmas decorations were up, even though they were pretty, I felt chocked in my own home.

Half the Weasley clan, with granny and granddad and most of my uncles and aunts and cousins, came at Christmas Eve, and the house was in chaos. People were everywhere, there was always someone talking, and every other minute, an argument broke out somewhere in the house. Dinner was excruciating. Everybody talked over each other, and there was no possibility for a conversation. Not even my own room was safe, because Rose and Roxanne had taken over it, and they were chatting away like never before at bedtime. And as I entered the room, I was forbidden to leave it. They needed to know everything about Hogwarts these days, but instead of letting me answer, they kept talking. And yet, I couldn't leave.

"Did you hear?" Roxanne suddenly said. "Teddy isn't coming because Vicky's here with Andrew."

While Rose gasped, half horrified, half amused, I stiffened. Teddy wasn't coming? What? He wasn't coming to spend Christmas with his own family? I looked at Roxanne. "What? Are you sure? How do you know? Who told you that?"

"Well, I heard dad talk to Aunt Ginny about it," Roxanne said. "But I'm not entirely sure, that's just what I heard… wouldn't surprise me though, if you think about it. She broke his heart."

"Well, he broke up with her," Rose said. "She was cheating."

"Yeah, well, fact remains, he's still torn up about it," Roxanne retorted.

"One would think he'd already moved on," Rose said. "Being such a nice looking bloke, and all."

"Yeah, but how do you move on from someone like Vicky?" Roxanne was rather amused. "She does set a certain standard. I mean, being partly Veela… how can any girl compete with that?"

I couldn't speak, so I just let them ramble away. It hurt that they said that, and not because I didn't wish him the best, but because… well, they were right. Even though I had struggled to deny it, I had had a crush on Teddy Lupin for years. It wasn't something I was proud of, but it wasn't anything I could do anything about. It just… was. And knew I really shouldn't feel that way about him, since he was practically my brother. But that's just it; he wasn't. He had never been like my brother, because I had, in a sense, always had these feeling towards him, even as a child. I looked at him with the highest of admirations, and as I grew older, the affections grew stronger. However, I knew he was the one man I would never have. To him, I was probably just his little sister, and if not, at least just a little kid. He was ten years older than me. He had finished Hogwarts long before I'd even begun. And yet, I had these feelings. To hear Rose and Roxanne talk about Vicky and her Veela heritage was heartbreaking. I knew I would never be as pretty as her, so it didn't matter if I was a Potter or not.

"Lily, do you know anything?" Roxanne suddenly said.

"Know what?" I coaxed.

"If he's met someone new?" Rose urged.

I shook my head. "I haven't seen him for months."

"I don't think he has," Roxanne said. "Otherwise, he would bring her."

I rose from my bed and excused myself, claiming I was making some tea, just to get out of there. The commotion downstairs had settled down. It was late, and most people had gone to bed already. I wanted to cry, but I had promised myself never to cry over Teddy Lupin, because those tears would just be a waste of time. As I entered the kitchen, I wasn't entirely surprised to see my father sitting by the kitchen island, working. He was scribbling down things on paper, goggling through books and re-reading old documents, his black hair wilder than ever, and his green eyes glittering in the dim light from the Christmas lightings. When he saw me, he cracked up in a smile.

"Hi, sweetheart!" he said. "Merlin, it's been so much commotion here today, I've barely seen you at all! How are you?"

"Dad," I started, "is it true that Teddy isn't coming?"

With a heavy sigh, he closed his book and motioned me to come sit next to him. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this, Lils." He looked at me. "I've talked to Teddy, and we've decided that it's best if he comes when the rest have gone home. Then we can have our own, quiet family time and celebrate New Year's Eve together. That doesn't sound so bad, does it?"

"Is it only because of Vicky?" I stared him boldly in the eye. He knew I treasured Teddy higher than my own brothers, and he had to look away.

"It's full moon this Christmas, Lily," he said. "You know how he gets at full moon. That, the fact that Vicky brought her fiancé, and liquor is not a good blend. Someone is going to get hurt."

"He can control himself!" I spat.

"Honey, you haven't been around when he's lost it," dad warned. "I have. I do not want to put any of you through that. Not at Christmas."

"So, we're going to sit here, enjoy granny's food, having a god time, and he's not invited?" I was trying really hard not to shout, but I think dad got the message.

"I know it seems unfair," he said, "but it's for the best. He even said so himself."

"Why can't Vicky go, then?!" I spat. "She could go with Andrew!"

"This is not a debate, Lily," dad said sternly. "Victoire is here, Teddy's not. That's how it's going to be. Now, go to bed. It's a big day tomorrow, and I need to work."

When dad set his foot down, I knew it was pointless discussing any further, so I dragged my feet back to my room, where Rose and Roxanne were exploring Rose's new smartphone.

"Dad still doesn't get it," she said. "He claims it has to run on some kind of magic."

"Well, no offence, but Uncle Ron has never been a genius," Roxanne laughed.

"Hey, guys," I cut in. "Um, well, it's late… maybe we should get some sleep?"

They agreed, and when all three of us had gotten to bed, we let the lights out, and within fifteen minutes, all were sleeping. All except me. I had Teddy on my mind, with his shifting hair and wolf-like gaze, his tall frame and well-built figure. He was… perfect. Just perfect. And totally unavailable. Oh, I don't even want to try to guess how many nights the thought of Teddy had kept me awake. Like last summer, when we went to Brighton, the image of him coming up from the water, his then blue hair soaked, and water dripping down his chest and stomach got stuck on my retina… I couldn't sleep for a week. Then, I wished I didn't have to see him ever again, fearing I would go all tomato-face whenever he looked at me, but now… the fact he wasn't coming was devastating. My Christmas was ruined.

Christmas morning was almost worse that the evening before. Kids running around, teenagers brawling, grown-ups stressing about, presents being opened… it was complete and utter chaos. There were so many things we would have to do, so much that needed to be prepared. It was crazy. It was only eleven in the morning, and I was already exhausted. The turkey had to be roasted, the puddings had to be made, the pies had to be baked. The kitchen was in a frenzy. Granny was in charge, yelling orders to every person stepping its foot inside the kitchen door. I kept in the living-room, watching granddad and Uncle Ron do some more extension charms for the rest of the family that was to arrive at noon.

When they arrived (my uncles Bill, Percy and Charlie, my aunts Fleur and Audrey and my cousins Dominique, Louis, Molly, Lucy… oh, and Vicky and her fiancé Andrew) I really, really felt chocked. They were all good people, but I just… didn't feel like celebrating anything. I didn't really want to. And when they came, Christmas lunch was served.

Vicky's fiancé was ridiculously handsome, rich and successful. He worked at the Ministry, and was highly esteemed. They all loved him, and he didn't seem to mind. I bet marrying Vicky for her was only half the reason; he wanted to be a part of the famous Potter-Weasley family. He wanted a bit of our fame-cake, and his manipulative, Colgate smile fooled everyone around our giant table. Everyone but me. Oh, I could see right through him, and I loathed him. But seeing him and Vicky together, they looked ridiculously good. However, since everyone was so bloody interested in him and his success, no one cared about mine and Hugo's N.E.W.T.s, which was a good thing.

I made it thought lunch, and then James, Albus and I went with dad to his parents' graves, like we always did on Christmas day, and I must say, it was a relief to get out of the house, even though it was freezing outside. Dad conjured a beautiful Christmas wreath and then we lighted some candles. When we headed back towards the house, a weary feeling ran wild in my stomach, and I realised that I didn't want to go in there. I guess I was just in that phase of my life. Had I been a couple of years younger, I would enjoy it, and had I been a couple of years older, I would enjoy it also. But as it was, I was in a bad place, and if I could choose, I would rather spend Christmas together with Albus's best friend Scorpius Malfoy and his stiff-upper-lip family.

The day went on rather slowly, to be honest. I had to take a walk halfway thought the afternoon to get some peace and quiet, but when I returned, it seemed as if they were all stuck in the same conversations, rows and jokes as when I left. And all I could think about was Christmas Eve last year, when the only guests we had were Uncle Ron, Aunt Hermione, Rose and Hugo. And Teddy. Teddy was here, and we had such a good time, it hurt to think about it.

But then, there was a rapping on the door.

Aunt Hermione was the one to open, and all I could hear was, "everybody! Teddy's here!"

My heart stopped. He was here? But he wasn't supposed to come! He was supposed to get here when everybody else had left. Was it really him? I had to stand on my toes to get a glimps of him, but I was overrun by people hurrying to greet him. I could see dad across the room, and he looked puzzled, and a bit worried. Then I saw him, when granny had let go of him, and he looked so different. His hair was brown – still messy, though, but brown – he had stubble and he just looked… not as his usual, happy self. He seemed weary and there was a bitter gloom about him. But at least, the smile was the same as always, and I could see dad move towards him, and when they met, they embraced each other. They exchanged some words, and I could see a flicker of worry in Teddy's face, and then him and dad walked into the kitchen and closed the door. I followed. But I was smart enough not to stand by that door and eavesdrop, but walked around the house to stand by the back door inside dad's old office. I stood in the darkness and pressed my ear against the door. Had dad known he was coming, or was he throwing him out?

"Ted, my boy… it's nice to see you," dad said.

"You too, Harry," Teddy replied. There was a moment of silence. "I'm sorry to just pop in like this. I know we made a deal."

"I'm not angry with you," dad said. "And you know you're always welcome. I just want to make sure you won't do anything you'll regret."

"I know, I know, and I won't!" Teddy groaned. "I'm over Vicky, and I'm not going to let her ruin my Christmas. I wanted to see all of you."

"But it's full moon," dad pointed out.

Teddy chuckled. "Come on, Harry, it's not like I'm going to attack someone!" When dad wasn't laughing, Teddy sighed. "Look, I'm drinking Wolfsbane Potion, and it usually keeps me at bay during full moon."

I heard my dad sigh. "Fine. As long as you don't make a scene."

"I promise."

Then they left the kitchen. My heart was racing. Teddy was here. He was here! My Christmas was officially saved. Suddenly, my outfit wasn't good enough. He hadn't seen me, he wouldn't know if I changed. So, as invisibly as I could, I went up to my room to get changed. My heart was hammering away in my chest, and I was nervous. Not that I knew why, I mean, I knew he would never even look at me like that. But it was nice to know that I would feel pretty. I ripped out dress after dress, garment after garment, but nothing seemed to suffice. But then I pulled out a dress I didn't even remember having. It was a green, cute little dress I bought last summer, but never worn. It would match my eyes perfectly. It was simple and pretty, yet sophisticated, edging on inconspicuous seduction. I was a woman, and it was time for him to realise that. So I put the dress on, I put on some simple make up, and I fixed my hair. Roxanne had taught me a useful little spell to curl ones hair, and tonight, it was my best friend. When I was done I looked myself in the mirror. I knew I was never going to be as pretty as Vicky, but this was as good as it was going to get. I took one last deep breath before I headed down the stairs and into the thick of people, who were laughing, talking, drinking, playing… and no one noticed me. No one noticed I had dressed up.

No one, except…

"Hey, Lils!" Teddy's voice startled me, and I turned around. "There you are! I've been looking for you." He eyed me, with grey, dangerous eyes and I felt my cheeks burn. "You look really pretty. Very Christmas-y" He gave me a hug, and I didn't want him to ever let go.

"Thank you," I murmured. He thought I looked pretty. He had been looking for me, and he thought I looked pretty. Could this get any better?!

"So," he sneered and leaned a bit closer. My heart was beating so loud, I was afraid he would hear it. "Andrew Mondue… what a joke!"

I giggled. "So you've met him?"

He nodded and sipped on a glass of firewhiskey. "I think neither of them is happy I'm here. Anyway, maybe she deserves him. I've never met a drier person in my entire life."

"Yeah. Oh, you should have seen him at lunch. He couldn't stop talking about his mansion at the Riviera and his famous uncle who discovered the Becok tree. So boring!"

"He did not discover the Becok tree," Teddy huffed amused. "Come on! If he's going to lie, could he at least make it a tiny bit believable?!"

I laughed. "I know, right?! Oh well."

"Alright, everybody!" Granny's voice echoes through the living-room, and I guessed she used a volume spell to be heard over the mass of people. "Dinner's ready!"

Teddy and I followed the stream into the kitchen and took our seats by the table. By accident, I saw Vicky's glares towards Teddy, and Andrew's disgusted looks. But if I wasn't mistaken, there was something else than just disgust… if I wasn't imagining things, I thought I saw a flicker of worry in Andrew's handsome features. No matter how handsome he was, he was nothing compared to Ted Lupin, and he just realised that. Or I was reading too much into things... a smirk spread across my face, and my spiteful thoughts made me wonder if I might have been better off in Slytherin than Gryffindor.

With Teddy around, things got easier. He, not being a real real part to this family, could crack jokes the others wouldn't dream of, but they all laughed. He had this special ability to sense when someone was uncomfortable, and he would immediately change the subject, like a knight in shining armour. He had saved me hundreds of times when mom and dad started to get on about that I should aim higher in school and in life in general. Today was no different, only, I wasn't in the line of fire. The party had still not had quite enough of Mr Mondue, and asked him all sorts of questions, which he happily answered. However, as everybody started to realise he was very vain and self-centred, no one had the audacity to tell him off. All except Teddy.

"So," he said, his voice amused. "The Becok tree, you say?"

"Yes," Andrew nodded.

"That's interesting," Teddy mused. "I remembered Professor Binns talking about how he used the sap from the Becok tree when he was young… and I mean, Professor Binns is, what? Two? Three hundred years old? That must mean, and tell me if I'm wrong, that your uncle must be very old?"

While some around the table cracked up in giggles, including me, Andrew did not. He glared at Teddy, but even in the stare-down, Teddy won, with his wolf-like gaze, and with that dangerous intensity. Andrew looked away.

"Well," he said, nervously, "there are… plenty of types of Becok. My uncle discovered the now most useful."

"And tell me, what exactly do you use Becok for, that is so common?" Teddy asked boldly and narrowed his eyes.

Andrew stared back, just as boldly. But there was anger and resentment in his gaze, as well as some sort of fear. Then a smirk spread across his lips, a smirk I didn't like, at all. "Well, it's often used as a protection against dreadful and shameful abnormalities. Lycanthropy, for example…"

"Alright!" Dad suddenly cut in loudly. "Molly, the food is delicious!"

"Oh yes!" many others cut in as well, breaking the tension building between the two young men, but I saw that the tension wasn't broken one bit. It was building.

I tried to involve Teddy in a discussion Albus and I were having about certain Muggle things, but he was detached from us, and I noticed him drinking more and more glasses of firewhiskey. Dad's words form the night before popped into mind; full moon, Vicky's fiancé and liquor is not a good blend. Someone is going to get hurt. And from the look of it, Teddy was ready to smash someone's face in.

But we made it through dinner as well. When granny served the pudding, we had all moved to the extended living-room, where the Christmas party continued. Dad had found an old Christmas record form the forties, and it played on our gramophone. I enjoyed a drink with Rose and Roxanne, and we talked about everything and nothing. We laughed and gasped and frowned and laughed, and drank some more. The grown-ups drank a lot more than I'd ever seen before, and soon enough, dad's glasses sat loop-sided on his nose, and Uncle Ron's ears were as red as his hair. Mom was very loud, and Aunt Hermione's hair was wilder than ever. They were all having a great time, and so was I, actually, but then I looked over at Teddy, who stood alone by the piano, glaring venomously at Andrew Mondue. I excused myself from Rose and Roxanne and made my way towards him. He didn't really notice me.

"Are you okay?" I touched his arm, but he didn't even look at me.

He raised his glass and took a large sip of his firewhiskey. "I don't even understand how Harry let that slimy git into his house."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Me neither."

"The two of them deserve each other."

I sighed. "So why do you still care so much?"

He snapped his head at me, and the intensity in his wolf eyes made me look away. He wasn't sober, but I had never seen him this sharp. Ever. "Lily, that flaming twat is the reason I can't sleep at night, out of anger! He had an affair, with my girlfriend, for two years – two years, Lily! – before she dumped me."

"So," I said carefully, "why aren't you angry with her?"

He laughed, darkly and morbidly while taking another sip and looking over at them again. "I am. Trust me, I am."

"Why are you being so hateful towards him and not her, then?"

He scoffed. "Because I've had that conversation – or fight – with her a thousand times. Though, I've never met him." He sighed. "Right." And with that, he drank the last of his drink and cleared his throat before he took a step to walk right up to them. I was quick. Real quick, and managed to stand in his way before he could go anywhere.

"Think this through, Teddy!" I hurried to say. "It's full moon. It's full moon, you're, well, drunk, and you're angry. Not a good combination."

"Oh, sod off, Lily," he muttered and tried to walk around me, but I mirrored him.

"I'm serious, Teddy," I said. "Don't do anything you'll regret!"

He glared at me, his wild gaze burning right through me. "Get out of my way," he growled and easily pushed me aside.

But before he could make his way over to them, Vicky rang in her glass, and demanded everybody's attention. Teddy stopped, and I held my breath.

"Alright," Vicky said, her voice singing. "As you all know, Andrew and I are getting married this January, but we have another big announcement!" The party was silent with anticipation. "We're having a baby!"

While the whole room exploded in cheers and congratulations, Teddy turned on the spot and left the room, unnoticed by the cheering crowd. My heart was pounding. I was worried. What was he going to do? Was he getting his wand? Was he going to kill Andrew? I tried to remove myself from the crowd as quickly as possible to follow him, but it wasn't easy. Once I reached the hallway, his shoes were gone. He had left the house. I hurried to put my coat and shoes on, and then I headed out into the dark December night. I could now feel that I might have had too much to drink, as I was getting dizzy. Snow was coming down, and some had already settled on the ground. And thank Merlin for that, because I could see Teddy's footprints in the snow, and they led towards the church. I looked over my shoulder to make sure no one saw me, and then I followed. It was cold outside, and the church was dark. But the door was open. Teddy must have gone into it. I pulled the door open and stepped into the church. My feet echoed in the empty silence, and as I walked into the darkness after closing the door, it seemed suspiciously empty. But there, on one of the benches, I saw Teddy sit. I made my way to sit next to him, and none of us said a single word. He had taken an entire bottle with him and was drinking from it before he, still without a word, offered me a sip. I accepted, and took a big sip. I coughed, but took another one, before I gave it back.

"You know," he said, "I never saw myself as a bitter man holding grudges, but apparently, I am."

"Are you angry because they're so happy," I asked, "or are you angry because the baby… could have been yours?"

He chuckled. "Neither," he admitted. "Or both... oh Merlin, Lils, when did I get this old and… cranky?"

"It's full moon," I smiled and looked at him. "You're entitled to be a bit cranky."

He looked at me, and his eyes locked on mine. I shivered. It was the first time in a long time I was completely alone with Teddy Lupin. And this time, we were far away from everybody else, and the falling snow would have covered our tracks by now. We were completely and utterly alone. His eyes tore from mine, only to focus on my lips for a second and then back at my eyes.

"When did you grow up?" he asked. "And how could I miss it?"

I smiled half-heartedly, shrugged and looked away. "You haven't been looking, I guess."

Slowly, I felt his fingers put some of my red hair behind my ear, and I shivered again. His touch was intoxicating, and left trails of fire on my skin. "Pity. It must have been one hell of a show."

I chuckled. "Well, I don't really think it was that special." I looked up at him, but when those wolf eyes observed me with that intensity, I had to look away.

"No?" he asked softly while placing another strand of hair behind my ear. "I don't believe you."

What was happening? Was he hitting on me? Teddy? My heart hammered in my chest so hard I was afraid it would explode out of my chest and land on the church floor. My breathing increased, and my hands started to sweat. Was this really happening? "Believe whatever you want," I chuckled, trying to break the tension.

He didn't seem to notice my fail attempt to do so, though, and kept stroking hair behind my ear. "You look really beautiful tonight, Lily. Almost… enchanting." He had leaned a bit closer, and I breathed even faster now. His lips were so close to my ear, I could feel his warm, whiskey filled breath on me, and he whispered raggedly, "it's a bit dangerous."

I gasped loudly as his lips touched the sensitive skin under my earlobe, and I automatically pulled away.

"I'm sorry," he hurried to moan and sank down on the bench, with a horrified frown upon his face. "I shouldn't have done that. I'm drunk and not really myself."

A tight knot was forming in my stomach as I realised I had just messed up the only chance I might ever get to kiss Teddy Lupin. I was going to try to settle things, when he suddenly exploded.

"You can't—you can't just walk around in a dress like that!" he shouted at me, and his angry voice echoed in the church. "What are you playing at, Lily?!"

I just stared at him, wide eyed, without really knowing what to say. But as the words sank in, I blushed violently, embarrassed, and looked away, pulling my coat tighter around myself. I had never felt so humiliated before.

"Why did you follow me here, Lily?" he spat. "Why?!"

"Because you were upset," I whispered. "I wanted you to be happy again."

"And you figured that this was the the best way to make me happy?" he sneered. "You keep dancing around me, like you're some sort of... some sort of thing, pulling tricks like—"

"Am I pulling tricks?" I gasped angrily. "You started! I never asked you to keep stroking my hair behind my ear!"

"Oh," he laughed scornfully, "right, as if you didn't want it?!"

The tears were thick in my throat as I rose. "You don't think that highly of me, do you? And why would you? I'm just little Lily." Then I shook my head and headed for the door. Perhaps Teddy Lupin wasn't the man of my dreams, as I'd thought for so long.

I heard him huff loudly. "Lily, wait."

But I didn't wait. I didn't want to. I wanted to get back to the others and enjoy whatever was left of Christmas, and forget this whole thing.

"Lily, don't go!" He had risen as well and followed me. I could hear his footsteps, but I didn't turn. I walked with determined steps towards the door, but when I was to open it, it was locked. Strange, I didn't lock it when I entered.

"Let's talk about this."

I turned. Teddy stood with his wand in his hand, and I gasped silently. He had locked the door. He didn't want me to leave. I didn't have mine with me, so I couldn't do a thing. He walked towards me, and for the first time in my entire life, I felt uncomfortable and frightened in Teddy's company. As he'd said, he wasn't himself. Not entirely. Full moon did things to him. He would never be like this any other day of the month. Only during full moon. Dad believed it to be a weird mutation of Teddy's father's lycanthropy, almost like Uncle Bill only eating his meat rare since he was injured by that werewolf. I watched his face as he closed in on me, and his eyes were still dangerously enchanting. He placed his one hand above my head and leaned forwards, his eyes flickering from mine to my lips.

"There's nothing to talk about," I said, trying to sound brave, but failed miserably. He must have noticed my discomfort, right?

"There is," he insisted. "I'm sorry, again. I didn't mean what I said." He huffed. "You—I—what happened to you? One minute you're still a kid, and the next… you're a woman. It's confusing, that's all."

"I've never been confused," I said. "I've always known what I want."

He smiled and looked me in the eye. But his smile quickly vanished as he raised his hand to caress my face. "You don't want to be with someone like me, Lils. I'm not a good person."

I shook my head. "No, you're the best person I know."

He caught my chin and leaned closer. "No, I'm not. How could I be, when I'm here with you now?"

I didn't understand. Did he want me or not? This was confusing, if anything! And as much as I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself after what he'd said, I just couldn't. My body worked against me, and embraced his approach. Deep inside, I think my mind did as well, and my heart certainly did.

"You see," he murmured, only inches from my lips, "if I was a good person, I wouldn't stand here now, inside an empty church, with you… thinking the way I do…"

"Then don't," I breathed. My cheeks were probably deep scarlet by now, and my legs turned to jelly. I was trembling. He was so close…

"But, you see, that's the problem: I want to," he whispered, and his voice was so ragged, it made me moan silently. In the end, I couldn't take it, and I reached up to kiss him, but he pulled away, only slightly. "Calm down, little Lily, calm down."

I breathed heavily. Was he playing with me?

He caressed my lower lip with his thumb, and he seemed almost unable to contain himself, as well. He kept a steady gaze at my lips and leaned in closer. "If we do this," he started, his lips almost touching mine, "it will have to be our little secret. No one has to know."

"No one," I agreed, so weakly, it was close to pathetic.

"Good girl," he whispered, and finally, after all these years, I felt his lips on mine, and a jolt of electricity shot through my body. His lips were gentle yet forceful, and they moulded in with mine so perfectly, I bet it was meant to be. We were meant to be. His tongue met mine, and the sensation was almost overwhelming. He tasted of firewhiskey and desire, and he pressed himself closer to me. I brought my hands around his neck and into his hair, and his hands were on their way to my front to slip off my coat. I had to admit to myself, that I was a bit scared. I had done it before, shagging, but not like this. Not with someone like Teddy. I wasn't sure it would go any further tonight, anyway, but the way he so eagerly took my coat off must mean something, right? His lips left mine and continued down my jaw and down my throat. He found one on my collar bones with his lips and a light sound escaped my mouth. He knew what he was doing. That frightened me a bit. He must have done this with more girls than Vicky, and I had only had half-sloppy tumbles after Quidditch parties. As until now, I hadn't realised what the age different would do to us, but it was evident it did a lot, and now, I wasn't sure if I really wanted to do this. I didn't want him to see me as a disappointment. Perhaps I needed some more experience before I threw myself into something like this. But I didn't dare to stop him, this might be the only chance I'd ever get.

He slowly ran his hands up my thighs, pulling up the skirts of my dress, and I trembled violently. He brought his lips back to mine. "Are you okay?" he breathed.

I nodded. That was all I could do, and when I had ensure that it was alright for him to continue, he clashed his lips onto mine. I felt a hand land between my legs, and I gasped. I had dreamt and fantasised about this moment, but I didn't know it would feel like this and I mirrored his movements with my hips. I closed my eyes. It felt so good, I could barely stand on my own two feet. I felt how he breathed heavily, and his touch and his kisses were considerably rougher than before, more determined. It all felt so good, and it felt so right—even though it felt so wrong. I breathed his name, and pushed myself closer to him. This seemed to tip him over, and he growled as he pulled away from me. For a moment, I dreaded that he had changed his mind, that it had all become too much for him, but as he dragged me along the church aisle to the altar, and then taking a right, I realised he was leading me into the parsons office. He shut the door after us and uttered a spell at the door. He then made sure the windows were shut and covered. He did not want to leave anything to chance, obviously.

"Lily," he said huskily and pulled me close. His eyes were more wolf-like than ever, and yet pleading, and my heart raced. "Are you sure about this?"

I smiled, though nervously, my lips trembling. "Yes… I—I think so."

"No," he growled against my lips. "You'll have to do better than that."

"Yes," I said again. "Yes, I'm sure."

"Last chance to get out," he warned.

But I was sure. I wanted him, and this was my chance. So, I kissed him, and he wasn't late to answer. With a swift movement, he'd lifted me up on the desk and he placed himself on top of me. It was surreal, the whole thing was. Was I really going to do this, with Teddy Lupin? In a second, I was in ecstasy. I was suddenly brave, and I really wanted this. No doubt. He wanted it, as well. He wanted me.

If it was for the same reasons, I would never know.

He was a bit gruff and careless, but soon enough we found the blissful rhythm. His stamina surprised me greatly. I thought mine was good, being an athlete, and all, but I couldn't keep up. That he was more experienced than me was evident, but in the midst of it, I reckon it didn't matter. It was just him and me, me and him, and the world didn't matter. When he pressed out my name – my name – I found my release, and I had never felt anything like it. My body trembled uncontrollably, and I sighed happily. Slowly, his length left my body, and the strange soreness and emptiness that followed was almost a stranger experience than the shagging itself. He kissed me, this time sweetly and softly, and he caressed my damp face.

"Our secret," he whispered.

I nodded. "Our secret."

It was late, but we knew the party would still be going on in the house, and we didn't really have to consider the options when we decided to have another go. The second time was even better than the first, and when we were done the second time, the fact that we had befouled the parson's office hit us, and we couldn't keep from laughing. With a wave of his wand, the office was back to its former state, and we left the church.

The snow was still falling. We walked slowly towards the house, none of us talking about what happened in the church. But he gently closed his hand around mine, and butterflies ran wild in my stomach. We had shared something special, and I knew it was special for him as well. I had to have been. And I had realised that I loved him. Not like a brother, not like a friend. I loved him. I was in love with him—always had been, always would be. But no one could ever know what had happened tonight. I would have to hide my feelings towards him to everybody. To all.

All, except Teddy.