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Sometimes, there's nothing that can be done. Sometimes, all that grounds you to reality is the agony centred within one's chest – the iron fist the crushes the air out of your lungs. Sometimes, the fatal blow is actually the stroke that frees you.
Life was never going to be easy – you learned that quite early. When you were young, you dreamt of a world full of games and laughter; but that dream crashed down around you, and you found yourself alone. You dreamt that there would be people around you, that you would learn new things all your life; but reality proved to be different. Once, you might have tried to talk to someone, to find someone to help bear your burden; but time and experience has since taught you your error.
If life had been different, you might have been horrified at where you are now, at the life you lead. Had circumstances been different, you might have been happy; slept peacefully at night, or spoken without regrets. Calloused by experience, you look at your world as if it were normal – but if it was different? If you were another, would you accept this role?
You're so tired now, so very broken and alone. Once, you reached out into the dark for help; but no one ever answered, and you pulled back from the cold that you did find. The pressure from the world around you crushed you, and you fell into a blackness that you have not escaped. Walled within yourself, you can never bring yourself to open your gates, to let someone inside to save you.
You are broken, shaped by your world; by your life. The choices you have made have been your mold, and the pain in your heart the refining fire. The tears you've shed, the lifeblood of your soul, flood your bed at night – and the memories of regrets suffocate you. The piercing pain will never leave you; it will always remind you of all that's happened.
Sometimes, there's nothing that can ever be done; and the pain that you fear becomes your anchor to life. Some people take joy, or family, or friends – but other have not this luxury. Sometimes, the soul can only see the sorrow to life; sometimes that is the only thing holding one down. The terrors and doubts in the night shape the person, for better or worse – and sometimes the crippling, fatal blow that lands in your back is actually the one to make you stronger and to help you live.
For me, you make that a little bit easier – I just want to be able to do the same for you.
AN: I have no idea what happened to this... Thank you for reading! Gramercy, and God bless you!