To Carry On
by Tokai Central
A/N: When Max's refuses Chloe's request at the beginning of Episode 4, Max realizes she cannot abandon her best friend.
"Just leave. That's what you've wanted to do since you got here, isn't it?" Chloe turned her head away. Max looked down into her lap.
What would happen at this moment if that other Max, that vain, selfish girl suddenly appeared in front of Chloe? Max shuddered at the thought.
At first, the decision was an unconscious one. She realized her plans the moment she closed the photo album and put it back on the shelf. She would remain here, in this reality. The Chloe in front of her didn't need to be saved with time travel. She just needed her friend back.
Max put the morphine injector back upstairs before rejoining Chloe. Chloe had more choice words for her, screaming that she was a bitch and whore and never really wanted to be her friend. The accusations pierced Max's core, but she didn't show the pain. This wasn't Chloe. This was anger, and fear, and loneliness.
Hearing the screaming, William came in to check on them.
"Get her the fuck out of here," Chloe said, her voice failing her. Tears were falling from her eyes.
"William," Max whispered, leading him by the arm into the living room.
"Max," he said, once the door was closed. "I'm sure it was nothing you did."
Max nodded, but kept her eyes lowered. "She just needs some time. I don't think she's really forgiven me yet." Max raised her eyes. "William, I don't have to be back at Blackwell for a couple hours. Could I make Chloe breakfast?"
"Sure, Max, if you think it'd help."
########
"You should eat something," Max whispered, pushing the pieces of cut up pancake around her plate. Done yelling, Chloe had been giving Max the silent treatment for the last half hour. "It's cold, but still good."
Chloe turned to face to Max. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. "I hurt you bad, didn't I?"
"Yeah," Max said, making eye contact. "Wheelchair or not, you can be a real bitch sometimes."
Chloe sniffed, and nodded. "I'm sorry. I really don't want you to leave." She scrunched her face up.
Max leaned forward in her chair. "Promise me you'll talk to William and Joyce today. They don't want to lose you, Chlo. Just listen for once, please." Max forced herself to take another bite of breakfast. It was getting close to when she had to leave. "I'll text you later, okay?"
Chloe nodded. "Okay. And Max? Can I have a bite of that? I'm starving."
########
Max: Hey.
Lying on her bed, Max waited for a reply. Thursday had been spent trying to repair a life that Max didn't recognize. Calls to her parents were full of apologizes for acting like such a brat when texting them. They had sounded shocked, but relieved. They were still her parents, thank dog.
Kate and Alyssa had been harder. The Christian girl had simply closed (but not slammed) the door on her face. Max had spent a good hour writing Kate a letter she slipped under Kate's door. She hoped Kate would read it. Alyssa hadn't gone much better.
Max bit her lip, and stared at her ceiling, the only part of her room that was still familiar. The rest looked like a mishmash between Dana and Victoria's rooms: expensive makeup, designer clothes. The posters were for bands she had never heard of. Thankfully there was youtube for music. Lisa was still there, and her guitar, too.
The light was casting long shadows into her room. Max hesitated to get up. What would it be this time, more snow, another damn eclipse. Taking a deep breath, Max stood and peered outside. No, nothing was wrong. It was a beautiful fall afternoon in Arcadia Bay. Maybe it wasn't late enough, or it, whatever it was, was happened somewhere else than right outside her window. But still, a force enclosed around her heart, and crushed hard.
Had all the universe really wanted was Chloe?
"You'll get her soon enough," Max whispered, fresh tears forming on her eyelids. "I won't...try to save her anymore."
Max's phone beeped. Quickly wiping her eyes, she went back to her bed and read the new message.
Chloe: Hey. Mom had to get me hooked up to my sip-and-puff. Typing still takes a while.
Max: It's okay. Not going anywhere. How's it go today?
Chloe: Hard. Mom, Dad, and I talked a long time. The diagnosis. How it'll all happen.
Max: Did you argue?
Chloe: No, I'm done with that. Max, could you spend the weekend with me?
Max: Of course. I'll be there right after classes get out.
Chloe: ...and bring your best friend a few things she needs? :)
Max: I thought you didn't like emoji ;)
########
"Max, where were you yesterday. We were so worried when you didn't show to the party last night."
Max looked up from the sink, toothbrush still stuck in her mouth. Victoria had just stepped into the bathroom, shower tote in hand.
Max spit into the sink. "I had to go see an old friend, Vic. She's really sick...like sick you don't get better from."
Victoria put a hand over her chest. "That's awful." The emotion was genuine, and Max didn't resist as she was taken into a bear hug by the taller girl. "You know any friend of Mad Max is a friend of mine and the Vortex Club. If there's anything we can do..."
"It's okay," Max said, trying to smile. "I'm gonna be with her this weekend."
"Of course." Victoria left a hand on Max's shoulder as she ended the embrace. "I'll let everyone know not to bother you. But seriously, just text me if you need me, okay?"
Max raised her eyes. "Well," This smile was genuine. "There's something my friend has always wanted to do."
########
"Have a good weekend, Mr. Madsen," Max said as she stepped off the bus. David nodded, and smiled at Max before closing the bus' door.
Overnight bag in one hand, and plastic sack from the convenience store in the other, Max made the short walk between the bus stop and the Price home. Just like previous night, the weather was beautiful, the sky a haze of orange, yellow, and red. The autumn had finally found its bite, and Max pulled the cardigan closer around her chest, and picked up her pace. No storm was coming. Despite the cost, Max was grateful.
"Evenin', Max," Joyce said as Max stepped inside. "I set up the rollaway in Chloe's room for you."
"Thank you," Max said, hugging Joyce. "I got what Chloe asked for at the store." She held open the bag, revealing a bunch of snacks the girls had loved as tweens. At the bottom was a box of blue hair dye. Joyce took it out of the bag and examined the instructions. "If that's what she wants. Shouldn't be too hard, just like washing her hair."
"The person at the store said it sets really fast. So that's good."
Joyce nodded, and put the dye back in the bag. "You two visit for a while. I brought some leftovers from work, so we can have dinner whenever you girls want."
"Thanks, Joyce."
########
"Miss me already?"
"Such a dork," Max said, grinning as she set her bags down next to the rollaway. Joyce had put it on the side opposite from Chloe's respirator. Though not perfectly aligned, the two would still be able to see each other's faces at night.
"How was Blackhell today?" Chloe asked as Max sat on the edge of the bed. It made a terrible squeaking noise.
"Not bad. Ms. Grant gave a test today. I felt like such an idiot when it was over." Max shook her head, and sighed.
"Grant's a good one. She actually called Wells an asshole when he didn't let me come back after the accident."
Max chuckled. "Good for her." She made a mental note to thank Ms. Grant.
"So did you get the dye?" Chloe sounded like it was Christmas morning. She was practically beaming.
"Yeah, party girl, I got it." Max showed her the tube. "You'll be ready for the mosh pit after tonight."
"I can't wait!" Chloe leaned her head back. "Tonight's gonna be awesome!"
"And Chloe," Max's face was turning into a blush. "I got that other thing you asked for."
"No, really?" Chloe's voice turned into a whisper, lest Joyce and William hear her. Max nodded, opening her purse. The black vaporizer was the size of a highlighter. "Victoria, my friend..." the phrase still sounded strange to her. "She lent it to me. She said the pot inside's really mellow."
Chloe was almost giggling. "I can't wait. We'll do it tonight, after mom and dad go to bed. At least we can't spill it all over the carpet like the wine."
The two girls laughed loudly.
########
Even reheated, the fried chicken, mac and cheese, and mashed potatoes were delicious. So full, Max's stomach groaned at the thought of all the snacks in Chloe's bedroom. Though she hadn't eaten as much, Chloe sighed in contentment.
"Wonderful, mom," she said, smiling at Joyce.
"You're welcome, honey." Joyce stood up from the table. "Max, want to give me a hand with Chloe's hair dye."
"Of course."
Chloe's bathroom had been set up with a black salon sink. "It was donated by the barber shop you and Chloe went to as girls." Joyce explained. "They said it was the least they could do. William hooked it up, of course."
"He did a great job," Max said.
"Would you support Chloe's head up while I remove the headrest? William and I usually do this together."
Max nodded, and felt herself blushing as she placed her hands on Chloe's face. Though Max could feel the strength that remained in Chloe's head and neck, she didn't argue with Joyce's request.
"Don't squish me." Chloe chuckled, and made a fish face. Max made one back at her.
Joyce placed a towel around Chloe's neck. The wheelchair leaned back like a recliner. Max gently let go of Chloe as Joyce turned on the water to a steady stream. "So this is your girls' show. Max, what do we do first?"
"Oh," Max ran in the other room for the dye. She read the instructions. "First it says to get Chloe's hair damp."
Joyce ran a few handfuls of water through Chloe's hair and rung out the excess moisture. Drying her hands, she reached for a box of latex gloves on the upper shelf. She handed a pair to Max. "I don't want Chloe mad at me if it doesn't turn out right," Joyce said, grinning.
"That's right, it's all your fault no matter what," Chloe teased.
Max took a deep breath, and put on the gloves. Reading the instructions three times, she began to apply the dye to Chloe's scalp.
"It'll be fine no matter what, Max," Chloe said, feeling the trembling in her friend's fingers.
Max calmed down, and finished applying the dye. Joyce left the girls alone for the fifteen minutes the dye needed to set.
"Thank you so much for doing this," Chloe said, grinning.
"You'll be stunning."
It was Chloe's turn to blush.
Returning, Joyce donned her own set of gloves before washing the dye out of Chloe's hair.
"Not bad," Joyce said, patting Chloe hair with a towel. "Really brings out your eyes."
"Let me see. Let me see."
"Not until it's dry," Max said, reaching for the hair dryer hanging on the wall.
Joyce brushed out the knots out of Chloe's hair as Max worked the dryer. The final product ready, Max held up a hand mirror. The impish grin that spread across Chloe's face...there was the girl Max knew, the one she'd grown up with. It was as if the chair, the respirator, all of it disappeared for a brief moment.
"Now what will your grandmother think?" William joked as he entered the bathroom. "Lookin' good, Chloe." He bent down to kiss his daughter on the cheek.
"Thanks, dad."
########
Soon after Joyce and William retired for the evening. Max changed into her pajamas and set the snacks at the foot of Chloe's bed. Chloe gladly accepted the Chips Ahoy cookie Max offered her.
"What do you feel up for tonight?" Max asked while looking over at the television.
"Something funny." Chloe leaned back on her pillow. Max rummaged in the DVD drawer for an old comedy.
For twenty minutes the two happily watched the film, snacking on cookies and chips before Chloe asked, "Max, I want to try the vaporizer now."
Max went to her purse for the vaporizer. Remembering what Victoria had taught her, she pressed the small button on its side. A red light appeared; it was getting warm. Green meant it was ready.
"You sure?" Max asked, more of a question to herself than Chloe
"Let's do it." Chloe's excitement calmed Max's nerves. The light was green. Bringing the tip to her lips, she pulled air into her mouth. There was no taste, only the slight sensation of...something. Leaning close to Chloe, she blew the vapor into the older girl's face.
"Well?" Max's mouth suddenly felt dry, a slight fuzziness creeping over her mind.
"I think you got most of it," Chloe said, grinning. "Your eyes are like half-closed."
"Oh, in that case." Max held another mouthful of vapor, and leaning closer, pressed her lips against Chloe's. At the ventilator took in air Max pushed the vapor down into Chloe's lungs.
"How was that?" Max asked.
"Good, real good," Chloe replied, her eyes starting to glaze. She grinned. "Again would be better, Max."
Max obliged. This time she didn't let herself pull away from Chloe. The blue-haired girl pushed forward into the kiss.
"Max," she said as the two separated. "Was that real?"
"What do you mean?" Max rested her head next to Chloe's.
"That kiss...was it just the pot?"
Max wrapped her arm around Chloe's waist, and looked her in the eyes. "Not for a minute." She pressed her forehead against Chloe's, and closed her eyes. "I'm never leaving you again, Chloe. I mean it." She leaned in again for another kiss, which Chloe gladly accepted.
The movie and snacks were forgotten. When it came time to sleep, Max crawled into the rollaway. "It's just not safe for me if you stay up here," Chloe said, already half asleep.
"I understand," Max said, turning off the light.
########
"Have fun last night, girls?"
Max and Chloe awoke to the sight of Joyce standing at the foot of Chloe's bed.
"Mom," Chloe groaned, "too early."
"It's noon, young lady," Joyce replied, checking on the ventilator and IV.
Max slowly sat up and yawned. Her mouth felt like a desert, her mind still a little fuzzy around the edges. She wondered if Chloe felt the same way. "Max, William needs a little help this afternoon. I need to be here with Chloe when her nurse gets here. You can use the upstair's bathroom to shower and..." she took her first look at Max. She swallowed. "And make sure to clean your face."
Max reached for the hand mirror. Her lips and cheeks were smeared with Chloe's lipstick. So was her pillow. "Oh dog," she whispered, she and Chloe looking at one another.
########
An hour later Max and William set out for the hardware store. As Chloe heard her mother say goodbye to them, she silently wondered what Joyce would have to say about earlier.
"Where'd they go?" Chloe asked as Joyce came in the bedroom. In her right hand was a magazine, in her left a cup of tea.
"To the hardware store. Dad just needs another pair of hands to get a few things he needs for a job site." Joyce sipped her tea.
"Oh." Chloe continued to wait, but soon the anxiety began to eat her up. "Well?" she asked in a small voice.
"Well what, honey?" Joyce asked, looking up from her magazine.
"This morning...the lipstick." The last part was barely audible.
Joyce nodded. She chose her words carefully. "After we talked the other day...Chloe, I'm always going to be your mother, I'm always going to want to protect you. But considering the circumstances, right now you do whatever the hell you want." She smiled. "If you told me today that you and Max were engaged, Dad and I'd drive you both to California or Washington to get married, your choice."
"California, of course." Chloe smiled.
"I figured as much. Oh, and Chloe, I know about the pot."
"How?"
"Max called to ask permission."
Chloe laughed. "That's Max Caulfield for you."
Joyce took Chloe's hand. "Did it take the head pains away, honey?"
Chloe nodded. "I don't get woozy on it, either."
"Dad and I will get you a prescription for it on Monday. To be honest, I never liked what the morphine did to you."
"Thanks, Mom." Chloe bit her lip, lest she get all mushy again. "For everything."
########
Chloe and William returned late that afternoon. As Joyce took William upstairs to tell him about her conversation with Chloe, Chloe did the same with Max in the backyard.
"I can't believe how cool Joyce is with all this," Max said.
"At least you won't have to smuggle for me anymore," Chloe said. "I'll have my choice of the finest ganja in the western U.S."
"Ms. Pothead in Training." Max smirked. "You'd be the envy of the Vortex Club, that's for sure."
"I still don't get why you got involved with them," Chloe said. "It doesn't seem like you at all."
"I know." Max reached within herself, wondering what part of this reality led her to become best friends with Victoria and her crew. "Victoria's decent, Chloe. She wanted to help you so much. You should meet her."
"Maybe," Chloe said, rolling her wheelchair through the grass. Stopping in front of their childhood mural, she said, "I had physical therapy today. Mom says I don't have to do it anymore. The nurse is kind of a bitch, but...I don't want to stop doing it. Does that even make sense?"
"I think so." Max kneeled, and rested her head next to Chloe's. The older girl leaned in before turning her face to kiss Max.
"This is still real, right?" Chloe asked as Max broke away. "Not your pity, or fear, or regret?"
Max knelt, and placed her hands on either side of Chloe's face. Her smile was small, but pure. "I'm yours, Chloe Elizabeth Price. Forever."
########
Chloe fell asleep shortly after dinner. Max sighed, feeling the exhaustion of the last few days overtake her own body. Chloe softly snoring next to her, Max nearly collapsed on the squeaky rollaway. She checked her messages.
Victoria: Max, how are you doing? Did the pot help your friend?
Max: Yeah, Vic, it really helped with her pain. Her parents are going to her a script.
Victoria had kept her word. Besides one supportive message from Nathan (Him of all people?) other members of the Vortex Club had left her alone. Besides her parents' messages, there was only one other...from Kate.
Kate: Max, I read your letter. Your change of heart gives me hope. I tried knocking, but you weren't in. Victoria said you were away for the weekend. Please see me when you get back.
Max smiled, a heaviness lifting from her heart.
Max: Thank you so much, Kate. I know you like tea. Let me bring you some on Monday afternoon. We'll talk. :)
Max turned off her phone. Putting it in her purse, she turned off the bedside light.
"Night, Chloe," she whispered.
########
Max knocked softly. "Kate, it's Max."
Kate opened the door. "Hey Max," she said, trying not to avert her eyes.
Max held up a small box. "I brought cinnamon spice tea. I hope you like it."
"It's one of my favorites. How did you know?"
Max tapped her foot. "Lucky guess." She stepped inside Kate's room. Looking around, the room was tidy, but still less alive than what Max remembered. A thin layer of dust covered Kate's violin case. Alice looked happy in her cage, though, munching away on a piece of lettuce.
Kate turned on her microwave. "I put some water in there earlier. It should be ready in a minute."
"No rush," Max said, sitting on the edge of Kate's bed while Kate sat in her desk chair.
"Max, I know you were sincere in your letter, but I was still worried about inviting you. Vortex Club members...usually aren't so nice to me."
Max looked down at her feet. She didn't want to lie to Kate, but explaining the truth would probably be too much for her, too much for anyone.
"About two years ago my best friend was in a terrible accident. Since then she's been in a wheelchair, and can't move anything below her neck. Until last week I didn't visit her. I was a coward, Kate. When I did see her on Wednesday, she told me she doesn't have long to live."
"That's awful, Max. No one deserves that."
"I know. I wasn't there for her for so long. I hurt her, Kate. I...the Vortex Club we've hurt you...so many people. I don't want that to happen anymore." Max couldn't help but sniff.
The microwave beeped. Kate briefly set her hand on top of Max's before preparing their tea. For the next few minutes they sat in silence, and only after taking their first sips of tea did Kate speak.
"Max, thank you. I sensed you were always different than the others. I think something that was always in you is finally coming out."
"I hope I can inspire the others to do the same." Max sighed. The tea was comforting. The last few days had felt like a lifetime. "Thank you, Kate."
########
"There's my Super Max." Chloe grinned. It was Friday night once again, and Chloe beamed at seeing Max enter her bedroom.
"Missed you, too, Chlo," Max set down her bags before giving Chloe a quick kiss followed by a slow, passionate one. Chloe's mouth tasted of chocolate.
"Did Joyce make cake?"
Chloe blushed. "No. My new script, actually. Pot comes in candy bars these days. Though if you have Victoria's vape again, I wouldn't mind a repeat of last week."
"No, not this week, Chlo. Is it making the pain go away?"
"Yeah. Dad got me the strong stuff. A little piece knocks me out." Chloe yawned, highlighting dark circles under her eyes.
"We'll take it easy tonight, then."
"How was your week? Science still kicking your butt?"
"You know it." Max smirked. "Glad to be back here."
"You're getting me all mushy."
"If you're mushy I'm a mush-ball."
"Ew..." Chloe scrunched her nose. "That doesn't sound too good. Oh, speaking of grub, I ate a little bit earlier. Mom left you some food in the fridge.
"In a little while." Max took off her shoes. "Charlie Brown Halloween comes on tonight. How bout you take a nap. I'll wake you up when it comes on."
"Sounds good." Chloe was already half asleep.
Max made sure Chloe was tucked in before going to make herself a bowl of pasta in the kitchen. There she found William drinking coffee at the kitchen table.
"Morning, Max, or is it evening?" William tipped his mug to her.
"Evening, William. You feeling all right?"
"Night shift, Max. Really just an odd job for a friend down at the docks. It'll be all night. I'm outta here when Joyce gets back from the Two Whales."
Soda in one hand, pasta in the other, Max sat across from him and began to eat.
"Lot of homework this weekend, Max?"
"Yeah."
"I don't got to leave for an hour. How bout you get a head start on it out here, and I'll go spend some time with Chloe before I go?"
"Sure, William, but she's sleeping right now."
"That's okay." William refilled his mug before going to Chloe's room.
Quickly finishing her pasta, Max started on her homework. William remained in the back of her mind. Why was he still taking these extra shifts? At this point what did it really matter? She sighed, and wanting to distract herself, checked her phone. There was a single new message, from Nathan.
Nathan: Hey, haven't really seen you since last week. Vic only said you were going through some stuff. I'm free all weekend if you want to talk.
Max bit her lip. All that she knew about this Max's relationship with Nathan came through Victoria. "He really crushed on you hard in August," the blonde had said. "He knows you probably don't like him the same way, but he's a cool guy." She had gone on to describe their childhood friendship, how big of a sweetie he really could be when his father wasn't getting inside his head.
Maybe Nathan, Max wondered, this Nathan, anyway, is someone I can go to for help. Max crafted her message.
Max: Yeah, been going through a lot of stuff. I'm free tomorrow from 2-4PM. Two Whales for coffee?
His text came almost immediately. Smiling, Max put away her phone. Maybe Nathan, and the Prescotts, could do a little good in the world for once.
########
With Joyce at home with Chloe for physical therapy, an unfamiliar young woman took Max's order at the Two Whales.
"Just coffee, please," Max said. She had lost count of how many cups she had consumed in the last twelve hours. She had been up half the night with Chloe. After Charlie Brown, Chloe's coughing had started again. Water hadn't helped, and after an hour her eyes watery and bloodshot. Only when Joyce attached a nebulizer directly to Chloe's respirator did she calm down enough to sleep.
Thankfully Max didn't have long to mull these events before Nathan showed up. Max took a deep breath as he smiled at her, quickly closing the distance between the front door and her booth.
"Hey, Max," he said, slipping into the bench across from her. "Long time no see."
God, he was different, almost like Warren. Max forced a smile. "Yeah, feels like forever."
Over coffee Max told a story similar to the one she'd given Kate earlier in the week. At the end she added:
"Nathan, I'm not asking for me, but Chloe is my best friend. Her parents deserve to be with her every moment they possibly can."
"Max, I don't have any money. That's my family, not me."
"Please, Nathan, just ask your family." Max looked at her watch. "I gotta go. Chloe's out of her appointment in a little while." She began to gather her things.
"I'll try," Nathan whispered as Max stood. "For you, Max."
"Thank you, Nathan." She hugged him.
########
"Gotta be quiet Max," William whispered as he answered the front door. "Joyce is napping upstairs. Want to help Chloe and me with dinner?"
"Of course." Max set down her purse on the coffee table before entering the kitchen. Chloe was up in her wheelchair. Supported by metal arms was a tablet computer suspended in front of Chloe's face.
"Check it out," Chloe said, Max standing next to her. "The sip-and-puff lets me control it."
Tube in her mouth, Chloe scrolled through the open window, the recipe for that night's dinner.
"You got mad skills, Chloe." Max kissed her on the top of her head. Only after a week blonde roots were visible on Chloe's scalp.
"So what do we do now, honey?" William asked, a large pot of water up to a full boil.
"Let's see. Juice of half a lemon goes in...one bay leaf...one half of an onion, cut up or whole. Some peppercorns if we got em."
"Okay, all done."
Chloe reviewed the recipe. "That's it for now. We can finish when mom gets up."
"Sounds good. Want to keep using the tablet?"
"I think I'm okay for a while, Dad."
William detached the computer and sip-and-puff. Chloe led Max into her bedroom.
"Sorry about giving you such a scare last night," Chloe said as Max closed the door.
Max sat across from her. "You have nothing to apologize for, Chloe. We just won't let it get that bad again, okay?" She stroked Chloe's face.
"I was scared, Max, more than ever. It became so real." Her voice was trembling. "What's going to happen to me when..." she trailed off, her voice finally failing her. There were no tears, just silence.
Max didn't know how to respond. Up until now they'd just been having some fun, pushing aside the truth.
"My dreams the other night were awful too. I was dead, but I could still see you all looking down at me at the funeral. And then..." she trailed off, only to start up again after her voice chocked twice. "They burned me. I felt it. Everything." Chloe's head slouched down. "I know it really won't be like that, but..."
"My sweet Chloe." Max held the older girl as tight as she could. "What can I do?"
Chloe rolled over to her computer. "I found this online the other day." Chloe pulled the sip-and-puff into her mouth. Open on the computer was a PDF, the phrase 'My Choices' printed on the first page in cursive script.
"It's called 'End of Life Planning'," Chloe said. "This one's made for people around our age. I've only filled in a little, but have a look."
Name: Chloe Elizabeth Price
Date of Birth: March 11th, 1994
How I Want to be Comforted
My Favorite Music/Food Is: Amanda Palmer, Bright Eyes, Waffles, Bacon and Eggs
The Kind of Stories I like are: Adventure stories, stories about the ocean, science books.
Thoughts I have about making me comfortable: I don't like being reminded about my condition.
I would also like: Showers, nice smells (vanilla, jasmine)
How I Would Like To Be Supported
The people I want with me are: My parents, Max.
I especially want these people with me when: Just after I wake up and just before I go to bed. It's hardest those times of day.
Things that I would find comforting to have in my room are: TV & Movies, Snow globes, my stuffed animals.
If people are upset or crying, I would like them to: Share their feelings with me.
When the end of my life is near, I would like: To die at home.
Max paused and hugged Chloe. "Looks like you've thought a lot about this."
"It's good therapy, I think." She put the sip-and-puff back in her mouth and scrolled to the next page. "Mom won't get up for about an hour. Want to get started on the next part? I talk, you type?"
"You're on."
########
By dinnertime Chloe had planned her entire life's celebration: "No one dresses up. I hated doing that as a kid. Don't let them put me in a dress. Jeans, tennis shoes, and my Arcadia Bay sweater, please."
"Anything else?"
"We might come back to that. Anyway, mom can have any pastor or priest she wants if it makes her happy. After the service I want everyone to go to the Two Whales and stuff themselves. You think mom's boss would name a dish after me?"
"I would hope so, we ate there so many times. And slow down, you're giving my hands cramps."
Chloe grinned. "The 'Chloe': all you can eat waffles and bacon."
Max couldn't help but giggle. "You'll be fondly remembered by Arcadia Bay truckers, that's for sure."
"Smart ass."
"It's company I keep," Max said innocently.
"Clever smart ass."
The girls were called in for dinner: fresh crab William had bought down at the docks after completing his night shift.
"I'm glad you have an appetite tonight, honey," Joyce commented at the end of the meal. "You've eaten almost a whole one all by yourself."
"Been a busy day." Chloe nodded her head. "Max and I have been working on important stuff. I know you work tonight, so we could all talk tomorrow morning before Max heads back to Blackwell?"
"Sure, honey."
The conversation the next morning went better than Max or Chloe could have predicted. Though Joyce had to constantly wipe her eyes, even she laughed at hearing about the idea of a 'Chloe' special at the diner.
"I'll bring it up to Mark my next shift. I'm sure he'd go for it."
Chloe printed out a copy of her wishes for her parents. There would need to be a notary for some of it, certain medical decisions and gifts after her passing, mainly. As Max went back to Blackwell that afternoon, it was with the assurance that Chloe finally felt back in control of her own life.
########
It was the following Thursday, almost midnight, and Max was pouring over her Calculus homework. There was a quiz in less than nine hours, and she still did not understand the concepts. Her phone beeping was a welcome distraction.
Chloe: U up?
Max: Yeah, you're up late. Everything okay?
Chloe: Had another attack. Bad. Dad put me in my chair. Easier to breathe.
Max: That's good. Feel better?
Chloe: Yup. Might fall asleep sitting up. Wouldn't be the first time.
Max: As long as you're comfortable.
Chloe: How are you? Week going okay?
Max: Studying for a math test tomorrow. I wish you were here to help me.
Chloe: I've forgotten so much. Don't know how good I'd be.
Max: Better than my dumb butt, I'd bet.
Chloe: You said butt. Telling!
Chloe: Max, the reason I
There was nothing else. Max furrowed her brow, and was about to see if her connection was still good when her phone rang. It was Chloe.
"Hey," Chloe's voice was soft, but happy.
"Chloe, why didn't you just call me first?"
"I know...you're not usually a...night owl."
"Chloe, you sound..."
"That's why...I called...after the attack...hard to talk. I'm not going to...go anywhere for a while...but I just wanted to say...just in case...I love you, Max."
"Chloe...I love you, too. And I'll be there as soon as I can tomorrow. Okay?"
"Okay."
########
"How is she?" Max asked the moment William answered the door on Friday afternoon?
"Resting," William said, the light in his eyes dimmed somewhat. "The doctors gave her some antibiotics to prevent pneumonia. She'll be out of it until morning. If you want, you can head back and..."
"No." Max's tone was resolute. "She wants me to be here when she wakes up."
William nodded. "You're a good one, Max Caulfield. I wish I could see what the two of you would do together in another life."
"Me too," Max said, stepping inside.
Carefully opening the door to Chloe's bedroom, Max found her girlfriend still asleep, her head tilted towards the window. Her face was gaunt and pale.
"Oh baby," Max whispered, sitting on the edge of Chloe's bed. The blunette groaned, caught somewhere halfway between sleep and consciousness.
"I'm here," Max said, tucking Chloe in. Feeling more than useless, she looked around the room for something to put Chloe back to sleep. On the nightstand was a well worn copy of Cosmos by Carl Sagan. Joyce or William much have been reading it to her.
"Okay, Chloe," Max said, opening the book to the bookmark. "I know I'm no book on tape, but here we go: The nitrogen in our DNA, the calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors of collapsing stars. We are made of starstuff."
"Wow," Max murmured. "Oh, sorry, that wasn't part of the book." Max grinned before continuing.
Max read aloud for over an hour. By the end of it, when her voice was horse, Chloe was soundly asleep. Kissing Chloe's hand, she switched off the light. Max slept in the living room that night, but set her alarm for 5am. She would be there when Chloe awoke, no matter what.
########
"Hey, sleepyhead."
Max's eyes fluttered open. She had woken up at five, but had soon fell asleep again when going back in Chloe's room.
"Chloe..." Max sat up on the rollaway. "I was going to be up when..."
"It's okay...I heard you reading to me last night, nerd." Her voice was still horse.
"It was actually pretty interesting."
"Yeah." Chloe yawned. "Sagan is one of my favorites. You should read his stuff, Max. It's really good."
"It's almost..." Max couldn't find the right words. "Religious."
Chloe laughed. "Sort of. He's just so eloquent. I wish I could have met him, Max."
"Sounds like you have a crush," Max teased, leaning in for her morning kiss. Chloe happily obliged.
"You sound better."
"That's modern medicine for ya. Gives me a little more time."
"Therapy today?"
Chloe averted her eyes. "No, regular doctor. He's making a house call at noon. Max, I want you to be here.
The doctor was a kind older man from Arcadia Bay's spinal center. A full head of white hair, he even carried an old leather doctor's bag. "How's my best patient today?"
"Fine, doc." Chloe's tone was relaxed, surprising Max. "This here's my girlfriend, Max Caulfield."
"Well, fine to meet you, young lady." The doctor shook Max's hand. "I'm happy to see that Chloe has finally settled down."
"Hell if I'm going to let anyone tie me down," Chloe smirked as the doctor got out his stethoscope.
Max remained silent as the doctor listened to Chloe's chest. His face became more serious. He even closed his eyes. He then felt Chloe's neck, and looked in her eyes.
"Well, Ms. Price," he said, removing the stethoscope from his ears. "It's time for a choice. The nebulizer medication has kept you from coughing, but it's drowning your lungs. Using it consistently, you can expect about two more weeks. Without it you'll feel worse, and your ability to speak will fade, but you'll have another month."
Chloe looked at Max. The brunette only smiled at her.
"I want the medication, doc."
"My recommendation." The doctor got out his prescription pad. "I'll fax it over to the pharmacy right away." After packing up, he looked at Chloe in a way he hadn't before, as if she were his granddaughter. "And Mr. Price, Chloe, if there's anything you want to do..."
"I know, doc...soon." Chloe grinned.
"That's it. Sooner rather than later. That's how we should all be living." He shook Max's hand again before leaving.
"Oh dog, Chloe, two weeks..." Max rested her head against Chloe's.
Chloe turned to Max, and kissed her. "Hey, wanna skip school on Monday?"
"For what?"
"Road trip."
########
Late Monday morning Maxine Caulfield married Chloe Price in Crescent City, California, in front of a city judge. Chloe insisted in signing the marriage application herself, even if it meant having a pen in her mouth.
Chloe slept the entire ride back to Arcadia Bay. Max slept as well, leaned against her bride.
It was late that night, 2am Tuesday, when Chloe whispered to Max, "Hey, you awake?"
"Hmmm?" Max groaned, raising her head. She switched on the bedside lamp. Blinking to clear her vision, she found Chloe wide awake. "You okay?"
"Show me our marriage license again."
Max stood and stretched. On the dresser was a manilla envelope. Next to it was the remains of their wedding reception: A half-eaten chocolate cake and an empty bottle of sparkling wine.
Lying next to Chloe, she carefully took out the paper inside.
"State of California," Chloe read aloud. "Del Norte County..." she mouthed the rest as Max did the same.
Resting the paper in Chloe's lap, Max lifted Chloe's left hand with her own. The wedding bands were simple stainless steel. After all, Arcadia Bay had only one jewelry shop, and anything but the simplest rings would needs days to resize. Though Joyce had measured three times, Chloe's ring was still a bit loose.
Max kissed Chloe's hand. "When we were kids, did you ever think we'd do this?"
"Never in a million years," Chloe admitted, nuzzling her...it was too new a word...wife. "Hey Max."
"Hmmmm?"
"You know...we still need to...consummate our marriage."
Max's eyes snapped wide open. Chloe's were half closed, but not from fatigue. It was that same look Max remembered from the pool...that other Chloe gazing over at her from water's edge.
"I've been doing a little research," Chloe continued before Max could start mumbling. Her voice was low, and dare say it, sultry. "You're going to have to do the work, but it's been sooooo long, you really can't screw it up."
Max swallowed hard, and listened to Chloe's instructions. She sat up to remove her pajamas. Wearing only her bra and panties, she laid on her right side, and draped Chloe's left arm over her neck and shoulder. She started by peppering Chloe's face with soft kisses. Whenever Chloe groaned, she focused on that area.
"Maaaxxx right there." Max had just bit down on Chloe's earlobe. "Just don't give me pierced ears."
"K." Max's left hand disappeared under the sheets.
"Be careful of the..."
"Shhhh." Max silenced Chloe with a kiss. "I did some research too, Chlo. Just relax."
It wasn't like what Chloe remembered from before the accident. Heat rushed her cheeks, and her heart raced. Even without the monitor beeping away she could feel in pounding in her head. But this wasn't like her headaches. This was...
"Fucking amazing..." It wasn't as intense as an orgasm, but it would do, and since Max was the one giving it to her, it was better than anything she could have ever imagined.
Sweat beading on her forehead, Chloe leaned in to kiss Max. "I guess everything still works down there." She sighed.
"Almost broke my fingers, Chlo." Pulling a few tissues out of the box, Max wiped off her hands before cleaning off Chloe.
"Wanna go again?"
"I'm about to pass out, Caulfield. You know what'd be hot, though?"
"What?"
"A wake up call with a happy ending."
"I'm sure that can be arranged."
########
The next day Max 'moved-in' to Chloe's bedroom. Just a few bags of clothes and her schoolwork, it all fit under the rollaway. She had just settled in when the sound of crying came from the living room. It was Joyce.
"Mom..." Chloe called out, lower lips trembling. There was no reply. "Max, go check on her."
"On it."
On the living room couch William had his arm wrapped around his wife. Tears were in his eyes, too, but he wasn't sad.
"Is everything okay?" Max asked, standing behind them.
"Yeah, Max," William said as he rubbed Joyce's back. "The Prescott Foundation...they're gonna help us out...with everything."
Max's legs almost gave out at the news. She ran to tell Chloe. Though her eyes remained dry, Chloe's sigh spoke volumes. The heaviest weight the accident had put on her lifted away in a blink of an eye.
There would be no more late shifts (or any shifts at all for a while), no more bills, no more coupon cutting. Chloe would get her greatest wish, her family at her side as much as possible.
Only when the celebration had calmed down, and Chloe down for her afternoon nap, did Max take out her cell phone. She sent a single text.
Max: Bless you, Nathan Prescott.
########
An early winter storm hit Arcadia Bay the following week. The roads too dangerous to navigate, classes at Blackwell were cancelled until further notice.
Midmorning, the sky still dark with clouds heavy with snow, Chloe sat in front of a roaring fire William had built in the living room. Next to her chair was an IV stand. The bags hanging from it provided a mixture of painkillers, antibiotics, and saline. The 'Pirate Power' mix-CD Max had made for her six years ago played from the kitchen stereo. Over the music she could hear the water turn off upstairs; Max had just finished showering.
"Mornin', sleepy head," Max said a few minutes later, her hair still damp. "Warm enough?" Chloe nodded.
"You think you could drink some hot chocolate?"
"Just a little." Her glazed eyes where half closed.
"K. Just a little comin' right up."
Putting some milk on the stove, Max forwarded the CD to the next track.
"I'm sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea..."
Max smiled at hearing Chloe hum along to the lyrics. She continued with her preparations.
"And I'll try. Oh Lord, I'll try. To carry on..."
Max found the syrup in the cabinet. The marshmallows were a little stale, but would plump up well enough in the chocolate.
"But somehow we missed out on the pot of gold. But we'll try best that we can..."
"Chloe, do you want marshmallows in your chocolate?" Max looked up. Chloe's head was slumped forward.
"Chloe?"
########
The March wind tore into Max as she exited William and Joyce's van. Though the Two Whales was only a few steps away, Max zipped up her coat, unconsciously checking that her necklace, a thin silver strand supporting her wedding band, hadn't detached in the gale.
Joyce's boss, Mark, had their booth ready, a little handmade 'Reserved' sign marking the table.
"So what can I get you?" Anna, one of Joyce's coworkers, asked as she approached the table.
"Lots of coffee sounds great as a start," William said, rubbing his hands together.
"And I think we'll all have the 'Chloe'," Joyce added, handing Anna the untouched menus.
"Be right out."
Max grinned, looking up at the framed photo hanging on the wall over the booth. It was one of Max's first polaroids, Chloe sitting in that very spot, no more than eight years old. In front of her was a stack of waffles nearly as big as her. Holding a knife and fork, she was grinning ear to ear. On the bottom of the frame, engraved into a bronze plaque, were the words: Chloe Elizabeth Price, 1994-2013.
Joyce and William reached across the table to give Max's hand a loving squeeze. The coffee arrived, and was hot and good, the waffles and bacon more so. When they were comfortably full, Max boxed up a waffle, two pieces of bacon, and extra syrup for the trip to the cemetery.
"You know Chloe," Max said as Joyce and William gave her a quizzical look. "She'd be pissed at us if we didn't bring her leftovers."
The two parents laughed. William helped Max with her coat.
Outside the wind had calmed down, and the clouds were starting to break up. The sky above them was a brilliant shade of blue.