I never thought I'd be the one taking the lead, or the one to carry all the responsibility, but eventually I did. Then again, I had never been the oldest. I had three older brothers, not like I hated being the youngest brother. I just never liked having responsibility, it just wasn't how I was. I was laid-back, not really serious at times.
I had never really taken the responsibility, always having three older brothers to rely on. And frankly I always thought it would be hard to be the one taking the lead. Turned out, it really wasn't. The moment I became aware of the situation I had immediately taken it upon me to after them. I knew that it was my job as the oldest to look after them.
But it wasn't the moment the door had opened, and my brothers ran into the room I noticed how much responsibility had rested upon my shoulder, a burden that was suddenly lifted from my shoulders. I knew it was finally over. And now I understood Leo's drive to protect all of us, even after he got injured or anything along those lines, because he was responsible.
Just as I was responsible for them.
I have no idea how long it'd been since that day, but I've heard the fireworks some days ago, so I roughly knew how much time had passed, roughly. But it hadn't mattered, two weeks, 2 months, 2 hours, it always felt like an eternity. Especially when you had to look after people you grew to care about. People that had been taken away from you countless of times.
I knew I would never forget the look on my brothers' faces, the horrified looks when they saw the state I was in, when they saw my face, so I did the only thing I could think of.
"Took you long enough dudes, I've been waiting" Joke. I could hear Raph snorting, immediately pulling me into a crushing hug. I blinked past the tears that were now threatening to slip past my eyes. Despite my blurred vision I could see paramedics standing in the door opening. I wasn't deadly injured, none us were, so they left us alone for now.
"Let's get out of here bonehead, you reek"
This time I was the one to snort at Raph's comment. The obvious concern and relief was a dead giveaway that he didn't really mean what he just said, but it wouldn't have mattered, I knew my older brother, I knew how much he cared. I reluctantly released him, punching his shoulder lightly and giving him a smile. Doubt flashed in Raph's eyes, and his green orbs scanned me briefly.
I knew what he wanted to know though, how I could still be so calm after everything that had happened. And to be honest, I didn't really know myself, probably the euphoria of having my brothers with me. I didn't feel panic at the moment.
"Don't touch her!" Until now. My hand was on top of my mouth not even seconds after the sentence left my mouth, even muffling the last letter slightly, but I was too late. Leo's hand immediately froze mid-way, flashing his eyes towards me. My heart was loudly beating in my chest but I pushed past it, and past my older brother.
Uncertain shuffling was behind me, and I knew that Leo was slowly backing away but I ignored it.
"Hey.. wake up" I whispered, shaking Allison's shoulder lightly, the bed she was on creaking slightly at the movement. How she hadn't woken up from all the commotion is a mystery I most likely won't be able to solve. She blinked a couple of times, rubbing her eyes with her tiny hands.
"Daddy?" She questioned and I smiled slightly.
"Yea, I'm here" I could feel eyes burn into my bruised back but I ignored them. I gently brushed Allison's fair hair out of her face, placing my hands under her armpits and easily hosting her up. She whimpered slightly and buried her head in my shoulder. Her hair tickled slightly against my shoulder but for now I needed it, I reminded me of the responsibility I had taken upon me.
And that I hadn't failed her.
I turned around, looking into my older brother's eyes while completely ignoring the stares I was getting from Don and Raph, Leo was also looking at me with that look. But unlike Don and Raph, he was trying to cover it up, the keyword being trying. Because I could see right through him. They were all struggling to hold back their tears.
"Did Rachel sent you?" I ask straightforward, walking towards the door, just wanting to get out of this place. Raph, although still confused about what is happening, puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. I smile at him, knowing it's finally over.
"She did, she's outside waiting for you two. She's physically okay though, bruises and some scratches and tired, but she insisted on going with us" That's why I preferred Raph during these times, as much as I appreciated Leo and Don wanting to protect me, I hated when they danced around the subject. Right now I just wanted to know how Rachel was doing, and I was glad Raph was honest with me.
It surprised me actually how calm my bros seemed, after all this time. I could see they wanted to cry, I knew they wanted to attack me with hugs, hugs I had missed so much during my 'captivity'. But Rachel had probably told them about everything, and they had most likely seen what they shouldn't do with someone who has been through so much.
"And .. uhm .. you know." I said, feeling panic bubble up inside of me again.
"The police caught them just before the border, don't worry, they won't be able to hurt you anymore" I nodded again, blinking as bright sunlight hit my eyes, sunlight that I hadn't seen for a while. I shook my head slightly, looking down at the 8 years old child in my arms.
I was never afraid they'd hurt me, I was afraid they would hurt her, them.
"I want my mommy" She whispered, too afraid to raise her voice. Afraid that they might hear her. I gritted my teeth, wiping away the tears in my eyes as I walked over to her, awkwardly picking her up. She immediately nestled against me, which made me smile despite the situation.
"I know you do, but I can't get her right now" I whispered to her, making myself comfortable. Not like I was able to get comfortable. I fearfully glanced over to the other bed, where Rachel was seated. Her hands were bailed into fists and she was shaking, although she was trying to cover it up, the fear was radiating off of her in big waves.
She swallowed harshly, not moving a single muscle apart from the light tremble. I knew it was coming, but still I practically jumped out of my skin when the door opened again, revealing a woman with blond hair, the one that knocked me out a few hours ago, kidnapped me. I swallowed harshly, reminding myself that she wouldn't hurt us if we behaved.
If we pretended.
She walked over to Rachel, sitting behind her. Rachel stiffened when the bed moved under the added weight but she never moved, never dared to make a single sound. She had told her not to move, she had threatened her, she had hit her, so she didn't move. She obeyed.
"What did you do to your hair Maddy?" The woman said, shaking her head as she started to brush it gently. Rachel had winced a couple of times when the woman put a brush through her hair but never said anything. Didn't say anything about how it hurt, or that Maddy wasn't her name. She didn't say anything, she behaved like Maddy would.
"Now you're beautiful again, my daughter" The woman said after a while, smiling as her fingers brushed through Rachel's brown hair. I had to shut my mouth to stop myself from calling out, telling this crazy woman that she wasn't her daughter, and that Allison wasn't her daughter, and that I wasn't her son. That her children were dead.
TMNT
They tried to take Allison from me, they tried to coax Rachel into going with them, but none of them left my side, ever. Not after everything we've been through with the three of us. Not after all the shit they have put us through. Like hell they were going to separate me from them. We were currently in the hospital, and doctors were constantly running in an outside the room, and it annoyed me to no end.
I just wanted to be left alone right now.
But I couldn't really blame them at the same time. I had refused to look at my face but I knew, and I had heard, how it looked. My whole left side of my face was filled with bruises and my eye was coloured red. My ring finger was currently taped to my middle finger, apparently I had broken it when they beat the shit out of me. I was glad they did, it was worth it.
It wasn't until they had completely assessed our wounds that they finally left us alone.
"What is gonna happen now?" Rachel whispered, her bright blue eyes flashing over to me. She was huddled tightly inside a blanket, a blanket I recognised from home. One of my bros must've brought it with him. Her arms were bandaged but the scratches weren't that bad luckily. I sighed, rubbing my head slightly with my free hand.
"I don't know.." I said doubtfully. "But we're going to get through this together, I promise" I added when Rachel's face fell. And it were moments like these that I remembered that this girl was only 12 years old, and had been put through so much already. Of course it hadn't been easy for me either, but I was 4 years older, I was a trained ninja, but unfortunately they knew that as well.
There was a soft knock on the door, causing both of us to look up, and I wasn't embarrassed to admit the fear I felt for a split-second at the sudden noise, the same noise the woman would make when she entered the room. However I immediately relaxed when I saw my dad standing in the door opening.
"Hey dad" I said, tearing up slightly. Maybe that was the biggest difference between me and Leo. During the time I was gone, I found out what Leo had to go through on a daily basis, being our big brother and all. But unlike him, I wasn't afraid to show when I was down, or to show my fears. It was something I learned when I was with those people, we helped each other. Rachel had often comforted me back there, heck even Allison had.
Dad didn't say anything, and silently walked up to me. He was cautious, I could recognise his movements, and I hated it. Of course he knew what had happened, maybe he was afraid to be a dad to me, since my previous 'dad' hadn't been too kind to me. But I didn't feel the same way, that man had never been dad to me, no matter how many times he had called me his son, no matter how much I had pretended to be Peter.
Rachel seemed to notice my dad approaching and she carefully reached out for Allison, taking her from me. I shot her a grateful smile before I wrapped my arms around my father, burying my face in his shoulder. And I cried. Before the kidnapping, the beatings, and the psychological torture, I would've been embarrassed to cry, right now I truly didn't care.
Not at this moment, not ever.
I still don't really know how we got our hands on the knife, but at that time it didn't matter anymore, because we had a knife. We could've stabbed them of course, after all the shit they've put Allison and Rachel through I had no problem with killing them if that meant setting them free. The only problem was the fact that they knew what we could do.
Ever since my failed escape attempt they were cautious, never entering the room with the two of them. Or even the fence that was placed in between the two doors. One door leading to our room, and the other one leading to the staircase. They always closed it when one of them came to us. And one always stayed behind.
So we came up with a plan to sneak one of us through the fence.
It had happened one time before, but that a complete accident. Two weeks after I had been taken, I had gotten really sick, and they had taken me upstairs to look after me. It disgusted me to think back actually, being fed, being bathed after I had vomited, and all the cuddling. But when we got the knife I saw it as a blessing.
Because they had left me alone.
I knew they'd leave her alone when she got 'sick'. Watching how Rachel had put a finger inside her own mouth certainly hadn't been pleasant, but I knew it was necessary, it had to look convincing after all. The woman had, as predicted, immediately taken Rachel upstairs after she came downstairs.
"Daddy, will it work?" Allison whispered against me. I knew she was worried about Rachel, just like me. We never liked it when we were separated. We were like family right now, Rachel and Allison were my little sisters, and I was their big brother. But it had to be done right now, I'd rather be separated if it meant getting us out.
So we waited.
A smile tugged on my lips when I heard screaming upstairs after what seemed like hours. Frantic voices, calling out for their daughter, calling for Madilyn, Maddy. It was that moment that I knew it had worked. And I knew they were going to blame Peter. It was a part of the plan I hadn't told Rachel, because she would've never agreed to it if she knew. And that's why I never told her.
It was also the reason I had agreed to her getting 'sick'. Not because she could pick locks with just a knife, because I could do so to, but because I knew what they were going to do once they noticed one of their children were gone.
"Hey, I want you to sit on the bed, and cover your ears for now okay? Don't look until I tell you to" I say, putting Allison down. She nodded in confusion, not knowing why I was asking her to do such a thing but she wouldn't question me, ever. With stiff muscles I walked over to the middle of the room, giving one assuring nod to Allison before turning to the door.
My little sister was huddled in the corner, folding the blanket around her. Her hands were on top of her ears but as soon as I had turned towards her, she had closed her eyes. Through the door I could see the fence, and the door leading to the staircase, but most importantly Mr. Lewis coming right through the door, and unlocking the fence.
"Where is she?! What did you say to your sister?!" Mr. Lewis bellowed, unlocking the last door. A strong hand reached for my collar, pulling me closer.
"I haven't told her anything, dad" I told him calmly, the last word mockingly. Mr. Lewis narrowed his eyes, and so did I.
"TELL ME THE TRUTH PETER! WHERE IS YOUR SISTER?!" He roared, and then the first hit came. His fist harshly hit the left side of my face and my head snapped to the right. Tears of pain jumped in my eyes but I bit them back, looking back.
"She's not my sister you sicko. She isn't even your daughter. Maddy is dead" I responded, my voice still oddly calm. The second hit followed soon after my comment, and I fell to the ground. I knew it was pointless to fight back, they wouldn't care. The woman wouldn't care, they only cared about their children.
So even if I had her husband at gunpoint, she wouldn't open the fence. Even if I put a bullet through his head, she would never open the fence. She would wait for days, until we were too thirsty, and too hungry to fight back. So I let him, taking the beating as some twisted victory. Because every punch reminded me that Rachel got out.
"It isn't bad, besides, it was worth it" I tried to assure Rachel, wincing as her fingers traced along the bruises that decorated my face. Rachel suddenly recoiled from the touch, bringing her hands back to her lap.
"You got hurt" She whispered, mindlessly playing with the white blanket that was covering her body. She refused to look at me, staring at her own hands instead.
"I did" I said in a soft tone. "But I don't regret it, you got out, you managed to get to the police station. That's why we are here right now. Free" Finally she dared to look up again, our eyes meeting. Two pair of bright blue eyes. The same eye colour Maddy and Peter had.
"I'm sorry it took me so long Mikey, I really tried.. but we were so far from everyone… I was scared so I hid from every car that approached me. It wasn't until I recognised New York that I dared to approach someone" I nodded at her story, feeling regret burning in my stomach. I had sent a 12 year old to walk all the way towards New York, she had walked for 2 whole days before she arrived.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Rae, you got us out" I said, smiling. She luckily smiled back, only to be interrupted by a loud yawn. "Get some sleep, it's been a long day" I tell her, before standing up and walking up to the door. Of course she'd be tired after everything. She hadn't slept in a long time. She arrived at the station at 4 in the morning, not having slept since the previous night.
And it took them 2 hours to calm her down, and for her too give them enough information to work with. She didn't know where they kept us, so she had to describe the place. The police eventually managed to pinpoint the exact location after an hour, not based on the description of the house, but because they could match the names, Peter Lewis, Madilyn Lewis and Jessy Lewis.
But Rachel was strong, and she got us out. I was so relieved she made it. But in no way did it make up for all the deaths that the family had already caused, and all the loss.
Not physical loss, but they took away our time. Allison was the lucky one here. She had been here for only two months. It seemed like such a short time. Rachel had been taken when she was 11. And here I stood, walking along the hallway to the room where my family was. They had changed, but I had instantly recognized them.
Even if I had been 12 the last time I had seen them.
I cried, and so did my brothers. Wet tears were staining my shirt, wet tears were staining their shirts. And none of us cared. We cried for the loss of time, 4 whole years. I finally broke down right then and there. Allison had been reunited with her mother, Rachel was finally asleep, the responsibility wasn't there anymore.
So I finally broke down.
It never occurred to me to cry, and even when Leo, Don and Raph had wrapped their arms around me did I think of crying. It was only after I felt the first tears that I suddenly broke. Suddenly something broke, and I wasn't even aware that it could break until it did. I didn't know that I had built all those tears, all those years.
I cried.
I cried for Rachel, who hadn't been there to say goodbye to her grandma, her only family. I cried for Allison, who had been taken for 2 months, I cried for Maddy, Peter and Jessy, who had died when they were kidnapped 7 years ago. I cried for the previous 'Peter's', Boys I never got to know, who were killed before Mr. and Mrs. Lewis needed a new one.
I cried for the 2 Jessy's I will never see again, I cried for the 3 Maddy's who didn't live long enough to get the knife. I cried for the remaining family who finally knew who killed their kid. I cried for myself. For my brothers who had to live without their little brother for 4 years, who didn't know if I was still alive, I cried for my father, who had sworn that he would protect the four of us when mom died when we were toddlers. I cried for my family.
I cried tears of joy.
Okay after watching and old episode of Criminal minds I just had to write this. It wasn't even the episode where this was based on, but it suddenly reminded me of the right episode, and I just wanted to write it so badly.
True story though, after I had written it I wanted to look for the episode again to see if I could add something, and then I actually found out that the little girl was really called Allison… no joke. And it's been .. I don't know.. 5 years since I've seen that episode? The episode is called Mosley Lane, for anyone who is interested.
And please tell me what you think! :D