Summary: We didn't cheat on each other, we just fell apart.
Mindless
Watching his harried Amy, groan in frustration and slam her locker shut once more, Ben felt twinges of regret. Regret for a lot of things. He should have made more of an effort last year, especially if he wanted to get into that university in New York. He should have made love to the pretty Italian girl. He should have had more respect for himself last year. Ben regretted a lot of things.
Like Amy.
She was his and he was hers without a doubt, except they both held each other back – hurting themselves and each other.
"I hate getting up in the morning," Amy said finally, showing Ben her tired eyes again.
"I know you do, sweetheart," Ben answered automatically as he leaned in to kiss the corner of her mouth like always. Like the routine of their daily lives. "How was John?" He already felt like a married man, a man only capable of talking to his wife about their child.
"He cried most of the night after Ricky brought him back." Amy shrugged, brushing shoulders with him every so often as they walked to health.
"Oh," Ben paused.
These pauses often happened. There was no other way for the subject to continue without making Amy upset, he knew, so he didn't say anything at all in hopes of having a calm morning. In the silence Ben had come to welcome, he sat next to his love without further complaint as she gingerly smiled at him before closing her eyes.
Ben in return, faced forwards. His face was slack he knew, and he is not sure how his life ended up this way. He was dead.
Death was kinder than Amy anyways.
Seamless
Nothing kept them stuck together except their own sheer stubbornness. He was truly beginning to regret that. So absolutely much. But Ben trudges on.
He holds her limp cold hand in his own. Ben wonders if she even feels anything when they do this. Staring into her eyes, he can seen Amy somewhere else. Far away.
He almost feels like he's waking up from a long sleep. He starts to notice the world again and how he's just floating in it with this stranger he calls his "wife."
Her eyes scream at him in their dullness. He makes her unhappy, he realizes with wonder. Wonder at how she lets this farce continue. They're brown, brown eyes like his eyes.
Ben strangely enough doesn't feel the rage that usually came crashing on his head at the thought. He is merely…observant of what is. He sighs again.
"I'm gonna grab something to eat," Ben finally says. He isn't positive she heard him. Her eyes are still faraway and she barely nods.
As he walks away, he nods to Ricky.
He knows what's going to happen next. It strangely enough feels like he's floating.
Wide Eye
They finally break up.
Ben smiles at her frowning lips but sparkling eyes. She knows then too. She knows that they've finally reached their end and she's just relieved as he is. He knows they'll never be friends. Never.
But he'll be taking a piece of her with him for the rest of his life, Ben knows this. Just like he knows he'll be with her always.
He ignores the way she loves Ricky with her eyes, because even if their cycle is done with, she was still Ben's for a moment – she was always Ricky's.
But now Ben belonged only to Ben.