Notes: Please let me know if you see any mistakes. I switched the tense I was writing in about half way through and I'm not sure if I fixed everything. Please review!
Timeline: Takes place at the beginning of the second book. Remus has been living with Fenrir on and off for several years, and spends a lot of time looking for Harry. All of his letters are sent back unopened and where this story begins, he's given up trying to find him. When he meets Harry, it's the summer before second year. Basically, this story diverges from canon in two ways. He spends a lot more time out of the house and in a small bookshop owned by a woman named Ada. This is where he meets Remus. And instead of being rescued by the Weasley's, he's rescued by Remus and Fenrir.
Warnings: Dubious consent Remus/Fenrir, illusions to sex, suspected child abuse/neglect, altering of Harry's name at the beginning before Remus knows its him, mild violence, mentions of blood, mild language
Pack
Some nights, Remus pushes at his chest, pushes away from him.
"I like it when you fight me," Fenrir says, biting Remus's shoulder hard enough to draw blood. The sensation makes Remus groan, half in pain, and Fenrir laughs against him.
Other nights, Remus is submissive. He lays back, compliant, limp. He lets Fenrir do exactly as he likes.
"Merlin," Fenrir growls. "Do you have any idea what you look right now?"
Remus draws in a quick breath, fists clenched around the sheets, as Fenrir rakes his nails across Remus's chest.
"Mine, aren't you?" Fenrir grunts.
Remus bares his throat in submission and stares up at the ceiling.
With every person Remus cares about either dead or locked away, he finds his comfort in bed. Specifically, Fenrir's bed.
It isn't something Remus is particularly proud of.
Fenrir is a killer, a sadist. He has raped and turned children younger than Remus when he was bitten. And the worst part is, Remus knows exactly what the other man is. And he wants him. He still wants him.
Remus is also good at being exactly what Fenrir wants. It doesn't even feel like losing himself. It doesn't feel like anything at all.
Remus Lupin is used to a certain amount of harassment. His condition invites it, practically ushers it in, no matter the ways in which he tried to hide it. He's spent most of his life living as an outcast in the wizarding world, even more so now that he's out of school and alone.
But never once has Remus experienced any sort of discrimination over his sexuality.
That's why it comes as a surprise when a man reels back in disgust at the sight of Fenrir pressing Remus up against the alley wall.
Granted, Fenrir is in the process of shoving his hand roughly down Remus's pants, and Remus's strangled, "Alpha," probably doesn't help the matter, but the last thing Remus expects is the words from the man's mouth, and he certainly didn't expect the sting that accompanies them.
"Sick fucks," he says.
Fenrir turns on him.
Still panting, Remus leans his head back against the wall and thrust his hand between his legs. He watches, horrified and aroused, as his alpha rips into the man, a flurry of claws and teeth. The scent of fear and blood floods his nostrils, as does the smell of Fenrir's increased arousal.
Remus lets out a quiet moan, feeling only a touch guilty as he does so.
Under normal circumstances, Remus doesn't think he'd be caught dead in an alley with Fenrir, not to mention getting off to the sight of Fenrir turning a man, nearly killing him, but it's only hours away from the full moon and he isn't exactly thinking straight.
He never can on a night like this. And Fenrir really does have something of a public sex kink.
It isn't a very clean bite, and when Fenrir drops the man and turns back to Remus, his clothes are spattered with red.
Remus whimpers when Fenrir suddenly pushes him to his knees. The hand in his hair is sticky with blood and Remus isn't sure if the feeling in his stomach is hunger or lust or both.
After the full moon, he wakes up naked on a pile of furs. Fenrir's bed. Fenrir's house. Guilt and shame flood him and he nearly chokes. "I can't do this," he says hoarsely.
Fenrir's rough hand trails up his back and his fingers wind through Remus's hair. "You have to." He tugs Remus against his chest, far from gentle, but no less comforting. "You have to."
This is his life. He's chosen it.
Later, when Remus gets to work in the morning, there's a kid loitering outside.
He's scrawny, all skinny arms and legs just barely pulled together by a worn out green sweater that about swallows his thin frame. The sweater is loosely knit, but warm looking, especially so for the summer, and very faintly, Remus can see the outline of the letter H. The ratty blue jeans he has on barely hang onto his hips and his black hair falls into his eyes.
"Good morning," Remus says kindly.
The kid looks startled. "Uh, morning," he says, staring. He worries his bottom lip between his teeth, seemingly uncomfortable with Remus's greeting.
Remus unlocks the front door of the tiny bookshop and pushes the door open. A little bell chimes overhead. "Were you waiting for us to open?"
The kid turns bright red and mumbles something, so Remus walks inside, flipping light switches as he goes and changing the closed sign to open. A moment later, the boy darts into the shop as well.
When Remus settles behind the counter, the boy stares up at him through his long bangs. "You're not Ada," he says, almost accusingly.
Remus shakes his head, a little bemused. "No. Ada's daughter is in the hospital, so she has to take care of her grandson until she heals up."
The boy looks worried again. "How long will that be?"
Remus shrugs a little helplessly. He has never been particularly good with children and he is at a loss as to how to soothe the boy's worries.
The kid looks around wild eyed for a moment. "Does that mean I can't stay here?" he asks, a little desperately.
Remus blinks at him. "Well I'm certainly not going to make you leave," he says, a little blankly. "What's your name?"
The boy hesitates for a moment, like he really has to think about it, and it makes Remus frown. "Hayden," he says. "Hayden Briggs."
"Remus Lupin," Remus returns.
After the initial awkwardness of Hayden lurking around the shop and Remus trying not to stare too hard at him, Hayden starts showing up every morning at precisely nine o'clock. He stays till closing and doesn't do much of anything except browse titles and later, after what Remus assumes is a great internal debate, he starts coming up to the counter to ask Remus questions about the books.
The second week, Remus is sitting behind the counter with a book in his lap when Fenrir walks in.
He hasn't seen him in a few days, and the sight of Fenrir's husky and well-built frame is, surprisingly, a relief. Even as far away as Remus sits, he can smell the forest on him. He smells like pine and musk and something innately wild, and Remus is already shrinking back in submission.
Alpha, his wolf grumbles,and Remus clamps his mouth shut.
"Lover," Fenrir declares, throwing his arms wide.
Remus tucks his feet underneath his chair and frowns at him. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Hayden peering around one of the shelves. "I have costumers," he says.
Fenrir scoffs and comes closer. He catches Remus's chin in his wide hand and pulls him into a wet, scratchy kiss. Remus doesn't push him away, but he doesn't respond either. He sits placid, hands in his lap, while the older man plunders his mouth. Fenrir doesn't seem bothered by his lack of response.
"Hm," Fenrir says, pulling away. "I hope you get tired of playing human soon," he says, leering. "You look so much better in my bed. Perhaps I ought to keep you there."
Hayden's eyes widen and Remus turns pink. He clears his throat. "Yes, well."
Fenrir rolls his eyes and smacks Remus lightly, and if Remus didn't know better, he'd say the gesture was almost fond, playful. "Come over tonight" he rumbles. It's not question. As he walks past, he gives Hayden a considering look. It's an expression Remus knows well, one Fenrir often wears when he is sizing a child up to be turned.
"Don't," Remus says, before he can stop himself.
The look Fenrir gives him is equal parts cross and amused. "Careful, boy," he says. "You wouldn't want to overstep your place."
"No," Remus says immediately. "Of course not." The word Alpha almost slips out, but he reigns it in at the last second. In the back of his head, his wolf whines piteously. He wonders, not for the first time, if Fenrir can hear it. If the look the other man gives him is anything to go by, he can.
For a few moments Fenrir stands gazing at him, and Remus has the worst feeling that the werewolf can hear everything. The wolf in his head with its pressing need for Fenrir's attention. The nervous flutter of his pulse, like a trapped thing.
Fenrir's parting smile is sharp. "Don't be late," he says.
When he's gone, Hayden inches up to the counter. "What did he mean, playing human?" He looks up at Remus through half lidded eyes, suspicious. Hopeful.
"Er. Well, you see I – oh, Merlin... "
"I knew you didn't look like a Muggle!" Hayden cries, triumphant. It's the first real emotion he's shown in the past two weeks and Remus falters.
"I – "
But Hayden plows on. "You're not a vampire, are you?" he asks, wearing a blazing grin.
"Werewolf," Remus croaks, and Harry's grin widens.
"Seriously?" he asks. "That is so cool!"
It's the last thing Remus expects. After that, Hayden is a lot chattier. He spends the next few days at the front with Remus, asking him questions about magic and telling him about Hogwarts.
"I'm a Gryffindor," he says, puffing out his chest a little.
"I was too," Remus responds, grinning wryly.
After that, Hayden stops showing up, and Remus worries.
Fenrir is reclining on the sofa, flipping through channels on the Muggle television he had installed. Once in a while, the volume spikes and the screen blacks out. Normally it wouldn't, but Remus is kneeling on the floor with his head against Fenrir's knee and the man's hand in his hair, and his anxiety is making his magic flare.
"You ought to take up meditating," Fenrir says, when the screen doesn't flicker back to life. "Yoga or something. I hear it works for the humans."
Remus sighs and leans back into Fenrir's hand as he scratches Remus's scalp. "Do you think it would help?" he asks.
Fenrir squeezes the nape of Remus's neck and he tries to hold still. "You don't want to know what I think."
"I do," Remus says, and Fenrir squeezes hard enough to choke him. Remus shifts, but doesn't move away.
"It's not healthy to separate the wolf from the man. There is no distinction. You are the wolf. If you meditated, you could still undo the damage, become one in your mind."
"I don't want to lose my humanity," Remus says, when Fenrir lets go.
Fenrir laughs. It's a sound that gives Remus chills. "Come up here," he says.
When Remus stands up, he's shaky. He hadn't realized how long he'd been kneeling there. He sits down next to Fenrir and stretches out his legs with a groan. Fenrir tugs him closer, settles his arm around Remus's shoulder. When he speaks, his lips brush Remus's ear.
"I want you on my side," he says.
"I am on your side," Remus responds immediately.
Fenrir nuzzles his throat. "What you are is a liar," he says. "You sing whatever tune I want to hear, but you don't agree with me. You don't trust me. And if Dumbledore called, you'd go running."
Remus doesn't respond to that. They both know he's right. It's happened before.
"Tell me how to win you over," Fenrir says.
"Harry Potter."
Fenrir kisses his neck. "Want me to find him?"
Remus shifts. "I think I've already found him."
Fenrir pulls back to look at Remus.
"The boy at the shop," Remus says. "He asked me if I knew any spells to move a scar to a different location on his body. Such as from his forehead to his hairline."
"What do you want me to do?"
Remus lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "I think his relatives are abusing him," he tells Fenrir. "I haven't seen him in a few days."
"Will you let me take care of it?" He leans over Remus, his expression unreadable. Their lips brush once. "Trust me?"
Remus kisses him. He doesn't know what prompts the act; he doesn't usually initiate any sort of intimacy between them. He usually sits back and lets Fenrir take. The kiss is a little desperate, and he can feel Fenrir's triumphant smile against his lips, sharp and dangerous.
"Yes," he breathes. "Please. Please take care of it." It feels good to give this up to Fenrir. It eases the tight coil of anxiety in his stomach, and his shoulders slump in relief at Fenrir's next words.
"I will."
When the full moon is hours away, they find the Dursley's house. It's not as difficult to find as Remus assumed it would be. He's heard Harry mention 'the Dursley's' in scorn, and he's surprised he never connected the names before now.
'Aunt Petunia'.
Lily's sister. Of course.
He's not exactly sure what happens after that, but when Remus awakens, it's to carnage. At first, he wants to retch, but then Fenrir's mouth is pressed to his and one of his legs drags between Remus's.
Fenrir is filthy. There's blood on his lips. In his hair. Remus is miserably, helplessly aroused at the sight. He sighs and lets his head fall back.
"You should have seen yourself," Fenrir says, and then his teeth scrape Remus's throat, find his pulse point. "So gorgeous. Want to fuck you. Can I?"
The question surprises him. Fenrir never asks.
Remus shifts his hips and pauses to take in Fenrir's moan. "I don't care," he says. The hard floor is hurting his back.
Fenrir's mouth meets his. "Want you to say yes," he growls.
Remus tilts his head back a little more. He can see a man and woman on the couch, both bloody, lacerated, still alive but unconscious. He doesn't know if it was him or Fenrir. Can't remember. There's a blond boy's body on the floor, but he's still breathing shallowly.
"Where's Harry?" he asks instead.
"Upstairs. Locked up. Safe," Fenrir grunts. "Remus." He palms Remus through his pants and Remus lets out a sharp breath.
"Yeah, okay," he says. Fenrir nips at his lips, presses closer.
When they finish, Fenrir pulls Remus easily to his feet, a surprising move on his part, and rather unlike him. "I want to try something tonight," he says, tossing Remus his shirt.
"Sure," Remus says.
But Fenrir suddenly grips his arm. "Don't say that unless you mean it."
Remus tilts his head back to look at Fenrir. "Does it really matter?" he asks. "You can just take what you want."
Fenrir's expression is unreadable. He touches Remus's face. "Not tonight," he says.
Remus presses a kiss to his palm. It's so uncharacteristic, but he thinks he likes the way it makes the other man's eyes flash, like tenderness is something to be afraid of. And maybe it is. "Yes," he whispers, and Fenrir drops his hand.
It doesn't take much to convince Harry to come with them, despite the fact that they're both blood covered. He gathers up his things in his trunk, something like relief in his eyes.
"What about the Dursley's?" he asks.
"Bitten," Fenrir says. "Probably. I'm sure they'll join us soon enough, if they turn."
They set him up in a room in Fenrir's house and Harry collapses on the bed immediately. "I could hear them screaming all night," he tells Remus when the man lingers in the doorway.
"I'm sorry," Remus says.
Harry gives him a hard look. "I'm not."
Later that night, when they're in bed, Fenrir strokes his face lightly. "I'm going to tie your wrists above your head," he says, like he's waiting for some sign of resistance.
Remus just sighs. He's naked, and his back is sore, and he wonders if this will help or hinder the healing process. "I already said yes," he reminds Fenrir.
"You can change your mind," Fenrir says seriously.
Remus stares at him. There's emotion in the air that's usually lacking during their encounters and Remus doesn't know if he likes it. "I want a full body massage when we're done," he says, ignoring the spike of nervousness in favor of concern for his back.
Fenrir looks oddly pleased. He brushes Remus's hair back. "Really?"
"And breakfast," he says, wondering how far Fenrir will take this.
"You trust me," Fenrir says. It's not a question, and the words a spoken with a slight reverence. Remus doesn't know what to do with them.
"Thank you for Harry," he says. He sits still as Fenrir ties a knot around his wrists. It hurts, but it's not the worst pain he's ever felt. He imagines his wrists will be chapped later. He watches Fenrir strip out of his clothes, waits as he lowers himself onto Remus's body.
"I want to hear you tonight," Fenrir says.
Remus stretches, feels his back pop, as Fenrir's hands brush over him. Somethings changed between them, he just isn't sure what. "Please," he says. He's not sure what he's asking for.
Fenrir smiles.
TBC