BARRYLAWN PRESENTS
ACE ATTORNEYS IN THE WOODS: THE FIC THERES NO MOVIE THEY SHOULD PROBABLY MAKE ONE
BY BARRYLAN
chapter 1 true love
gaspen payne got home after a long day of being yelled at bye pheonix wright and losing his case for getting two many penalties. he went into his bed and landed on detective ema skye
lol jk it was actually gummy.
"hey pal" said gummy and payne gasped in pain and asked
"what are you doing here" and gumshoe said
"im looking for a home" and payne said
"oh." they slept together all night and gaspen woke up in a hug with gummy who was still unconscious from the alcohol gaspen kept downstairs. he smelt very funny. gaspen winced in payne and slapped him until he died. there was a knock on the door and maya walked in maya said
"im here to channel gummys spirit" and she got on the bed and channeled gummy and gummy said
"yay im alive hi gaspy i missed you pal." he looked exactly like the man lying in bed because hes sleepy. gummy then huggen gaspy and he said
"i love you" and payne said
"i dont" and gummy said
"why not" and payne was tired so he said
"i love you" and they didnt hug again because they were still hugging. there was a knock on the door and shelly de killer came in and he said
"I have a duty to protect my clients" because hes important and deserves proper grammar. gummy screamed like a 20 year old spirit medium and payne gasped in pain but de killer just walked in and took gaspens glasses and put them on
"I need to be able to see, you see" he said and left the room. aw gaspy you can have my glasses said gummy giving gaspen his glasses and gaspen said thank you and put them on. they then lived together as a happy couple who did nothing but laugh at rookie defense lawyers like pheonix wrong and apollo jester and athena psycho and drinking at the bar every night one night they even broke into the wright nothing agency and laughed at trucy for having crap company.
shelly de killer then came in with his fancy glasses and murdered pheonix because apollo wanted to have another game of his own.
"what game" asked trucy but de killer didn't answer because hes badass.
"court is now in session for the trial of apollo jester" said judge and everyone laughed except athena psycho because shes a defense lawyer and they're boring. "gaspen payne give us your opening statement" said judge and gumshoe said
"good luck pal" and payne said
"okay. the defendant hired shelly de killer to murder mr pheonix wrong because he kept stealing the spotlight from him."
"de killer you say?" said judge. "i remember him, he was the one who murdered adrian andrews back then and juan corrida was accused and maya fey accused matt engarde of the murder" he said and payne said
"i believe so" and gummy said
"yeah pal." payne said
"we also have evidence, this is a quote from this fanfiction shelly de killer then came in with his fancy glasses and murdered pheonix because apollo wanted to have another game of his own." legit quote added to the court record "but i have an organizer" said payne but gumshoe said
"it's okay pal i will never leave you out of anything" and payne said
"thank you." judge said
"well i suppose there's no reason to prolong this trial i find the defen" but athena said
"objection and said i have a duty to protect my clients" and judge said
"you're right" and payne and gumshoe groaned.
"fine" said payne "the prosecution calls wendy oldbag to the stand."
"ooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh edg- wait WHERE'S EDGEYPOO" shouted oldbag and payne sweated and oldbag said "well when i was your age i always used to say oooh i want to be a witness and i would go in and edgeypoo would be there next to me fighting that NASTY BLUE SUITED DEVIL MAN with his strong words and his echoey OBJECTION! and he never said a bad thing to me except that one time when i was a big hit on tv but that was okay because he was in shock from having the grace of seeing his wendypoo again after so many hours and then he"
"can we please get on with the testimony" moaned payne
"agreed witness give us your testimony"
"okay judge."
WITNESS TESTIMONY
what i saw
"well sonny, last night i was looking for edgeypoo and decided to look in his agency so i went in and saw the gummy detective who likes edgeworth and"
"HOLD IT!" said someone and gumshoe said "hey pal, i like prosecutor payne okay pal" and oldbag said
"oops" but that didnt matter because the judge penalized payne for it. oldbag continued
"i then saw mr doe walk into the agency and murder pheonix wrong. trucy was crying because of this."
"OBJECTION!" athena pointed and shouted "ms old granny trucy was crying because gummy and payne were laughing at her" and then granny screamed in pain and payne raised an objection and said
"only im allowed to scream in pain" but the judge gave him a massive penalty.
"ms granny, you hired shelly de killer" said athena and granny shrieked but not in pain.
"good" said payne and the judge was deaf so he didnt get penalized. granny cried and cried and cried and fell onto the floor dead.
"this court finds the defendant apollo jester LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH not guilty."
payne stormed home and cried and cried and cried and cried now that i said it four times he cried more than old granny. gumshoe kissed him on the forehead but saw he was dead.
BUT HE WOKE UP!
"I AM IMMUNE TO DEATH" shouted payne.
"gaspy your okay" said gummy and payne said
"gummy we shall not stand for this bullying" and gummy said
"what do you mean pal." payne took gummys hand and they teleported right into leifa killing her.
"who was that pal" said gummy but payne shrugged and waved his hand and leifa came back to life like payne.
"welcome to kingdom of kurain" said leifa "you are our king gaspen payne" and payne gasped in pain because thats how he has to gasp (thanks capcom). payne became the king even though he already was and won every case because defense attorneys were silly in kurain and nobody could take the bar exam he was so happy but then he heard
"igiari" and asked
"what does that mean" and then he saw pheonix wrong at the defense bench
"wrong i thought you were dead" said payne and wrong laughed.
"i am immune to death mr payne." but payne laughed back and got the defendant guilty and then confetti fell from the ceiling and payne looked up and saw gummy throwing it down happily. pheonix became the laughing stock of the country and nobody had any igiaris to payne taking him as his slave.
"i still dont know what that means pal" said gaspen.
MEANWHILE IN JAPANIFORNIA (thats what people call phoenixs home for some reason)
apollo jester was in tears. athena was murdered by shi long lang and trucy was kidnapped by the moon and pheonix left him responsible. apollo thought and thought and got an idea and he ran into the woods where nobody would ever find him but taka grabbed him and flew him to basequill, the base of simon blackquill the twisted samurai who was busy fucking dee vasquez.
"what do you want justicedono" yelled blackquill throwing an empty bottle at him it hit him in the head and apollo said
"ouch. why did your feathery... BIRD abduct me from the forest ow" said apollo as taka pecked him in the eye.
blackquill laughed "oh justicedono taka is a gentleman" he said
"a gentleman you say" said professor layton.
"yes" said blackquill "hes very nice."
"does he like puzzles" asked luke and blackquill said
"yes hes very smart" so professor gave taka a puzzle named the knights tour 4 which taka solved in 3.4 seconds.
"he didnt even use a hint coin unlike us" said layton.
"hmph" said blackquill "the ransom is paid you may now go justicedono" and justice yelled in victory with his chords of steel.
TO BE CONTINUE
AN hey guys what do you think of my NEW SERIES? tell me in the reviews and ill make more tomorrow!