I wandered down the hallway, my Head Girl badge gleaming on my robes. I was so proud of myself. I knew all the Slytherins were stunned that a muggle-born got the badge. James Potter, who was supposed to be patrolling with me, was nowhere to be seen. He had been acting more responsible, and just as soon as I thought he might be taking the job seriously, he went missing. Typical Marauder.
I heard sounds coming from behind the door of one of the more seldom- used classrooms. I sniffed. It was probably Amos Diggory with his newest catch of the week. That boy was such a player! He had even asked me out once! Of course I had refused. I flung open the door- and froze.
Inside was James, snogging a random Ravenclaw, Tiffany. They turned around after hearing the sound of the door opening. The girl just stood there, her lips swollen. She smirked at me and tossed her hair over her shoulder. James took a step toward me. "Lily," he breathed.
"Detention for a week." I said coldly, my voice betraying none of the pain that was shooting through me. I spun on my heel and walked away.
Slowly, though, my walk became a run. I ran and ran and ended up in a deserted corridor. I collapsed in a heap and began to sob into my knees. How? How in the world was he able to send all this pain, all this emotion, all this sadness into me?
Yes, I had rejected him for six years straight. But did he ever stop to think, really think, why I refused him. I told people it was because he was a toerag, that he was an arrogant, egoistical, brat. But did he ever think it might be because I was afraid?
Afraid to say yes?
Afraid to become just another one night stand?
Afraid of getting hurt?
Afraid of falling for him?
I laughed mirthlessly and tilted my face up. I had handled my parents divorcing, my sister despising me, countless boyfriends breaking up with me… I had even been able to take my best friend, Severus, calling me that despicable name. But I couldn't take this. I couldn't!
I prayed for the pain to stop, for the tears to stop, for it all to stop. It wouldn't. Tears kept pouring down my face. My heart felt like it was split in two.
I heard footsteps and panicked, thinking it was him. But when, I looked up, it wasn't those hazel eyes I loved looking at me, but silver eyes filled with pity. As I looked into the face of Sirius Black, I could feel sobs racking my body. He took me in his arms and started rocking me back and forth.
"Why me?" I wept, my voice muffled into his chest. He took a shaky breath, and I knew he was crying too.
"I don't know, Lily. I don't know." He choked the words out and pulled me a little closer. And I couldn't do a thing but let the tears flow.
I am Lily Evans. I am in love with James Potter. And my heart is shattered.