Based on the film Taps with Sean Penn, Tom Cruise, etc. Had to watch it for NJROTC, this was the result. ;) I do not own!!!

"Signal Fire"

Homosexual love did not exist in their world.

This was considered an illegal action and as a result, you could and would be court marshaled and discharged; however, in light of the academy, you were merely severely disciplined until you wished you truly were female and had never been admitted to Bunker Hill.

Still, it didn't stop; it just had another name. This other thing still held the need of an emotional fulfillment, the sexual desire and of course, jealousy. The same basic thing, just different.

Loving another man in the military, Alex knew was stupid. Especially if that person was your commanding officer whom wanted into West Point to eventually do great things. In the military. Without him.

Many times Alex had to remind himself just because he was a fuck up and didn't give a damn about what the military thought; it didn't necessarily mean Brian felt the same. Actually, Alex knew undeniably what Brian's feelings on the matter were. So, instead Alex merely resolved to just being Brian's confidant and friend.

He tutored the other man. Despite the fact it took away from his time and put Brian ahead of him in the running for commanding officer. It wasn't like it mattered anyways. He liked spending time with Brian and at times would feel warm – like maybe Brian felt the same. He wasn't dumb enough to actually let himself believe in it, but the warmth of his blood was still nice. And being commanding officer would make Brian happy; it wasn't exactly a steep price to pay.

Alex enjoyed sharing his room with Brian. Brian shared things with him; let down his walls. The fact he got to see the other man's body had something to do with it as well. Brian wasn't exactly shy and Alex enjoyed the fact, but at times averted his eyes politely or kept his gaze on his blue eyes to stay polite.

His eyes were beautiful in a serious way like the blue field of the American flag. Alex was fonder of them when they crinkled and brightened like the vast robin sky.

And then the assault happened and everything went to hell.

David was an ass and kept pushing him. In hopes of remaining to look over his friend during this trying time, Alex remained despite all his common sense screaming at him. The love (or whatever) in his chest told him otherwise and while on a 0200 watch, he finally figured out why everyone hated love.

David was still getting on his nerves. He was Brian's fucking executive officer and counseling the commanding officer was his fucking job thank you the fuck much. Alex really wanted to kick David's ass but refrained for Brian's sake.

And then the shit really started to go down.

Brian wasn't listening anymore. Alex tried reaching out to him but pride seemed to be the only counsel he held now. He felt desperate. He didn't want to walk away. He had no want to. Except to save the children dressed as soldiers he just might have to. To save Brian he may have to. He tried enduring, he really did. Tried harder than anything else he ever tried to do in his life, but David got in the way.

Again.

He lashed his fury at the drill team commander. He let poison fall from his lips and felt like Judas. Alex expected the fist to his face but that didn't make it hurt any less. Purely out of shock at Brian attacking him, Alex went limp. The hurt in his heart hurt more than his bleeding face. When Brian told him not to stay because of friendship, Alex said something back but he wasn't really clear on what he anymore. His head pounded too damn much.

Then the general was dead and Alex found he couldn't walk away. He bitterly wondered if he ever truly could have.

From there, death escalated. Charlie died for his friend's cowardice. Died too young. Died for no reason other than pride and fear.

Alex found Brian in the general's office minutes before the National Guard's deadline. He looked drained and sorrowful and the most beautiful Alex had ever seen him. Alex turned off the projector and leaned into the other boy's personal space.

To Brian's credit, he only blinked.

Alex kissed him.

It was rough. Full of his wants, rage, helplessness, happiness, sadness, defeat. Filled with everything from the past two years, of his love and hate and hurt. It was messy but perfect because it was finally all coming out.

All of it.

Tears slid down their faces (just let go, let go) and Brian gave in with just as much feeling. Just as terribly.

Brian mentioned something about fraternization and Alex laughed a watery laugh full of humor. Of course that was what Brian decided to focus on. Not the fact he was male, but that he was a lower ranking officer.

They admitted defeat (Brian finally listened to his begging, so much begging). It was called off, the assault.

And still Brian died.

Alex had tried so hard to stand by his best friend (and maybe something else – no lover wasn't it—but still so strong) and finally when he had broken through to his loverbrotherfriendeverything, he was taken away.

Alex, the executive officer of Bunker Hill Academy, cried. He cried hard. He was so close.

When Alex carried Brian's body away from the school (away from hell, away away away), he remembered the parade. They'd all been so beautiful.

How easy. How dumb.

Fucking David; fucking military; fucking life; fucking happiness; fucking loyalty.

Just fuck it.

All of it.