Summary: Where the one you like has someone else he likes.
learning to accept
It's funny and a little weird but he'd always tell his problems to me. Maybe he does that 'cause we've been friends for years. Even if we got separated at one point, we somehow managed to become friends again. But of course, after coming back, I learned that many things had changed. I've been gone for a long time after all. There's nothing I could do to remedy the time we've lost. I just have to adjust.
So yeah, he just confessed the fact that he has a girl he likes. Who wouldn't be surprised? Considering that it's him that we're talking about. I already know who he was talking about though. I'm glad he finally realized his feelings.
The conversation flowed like usual, me teasing him about it, him pouting and snapping like a cat but suddenly it was turned to me. He shifted the topic without preamble and asked.
"Hey, do you have someone you like?" His face looked genuinely curious as he said those words.
I realized that it's his way of getting back at me, after teasing him about his'. He probably wants to make me feel embarrassed.
But that's not how I felt. How easy it would've been if that was the case but sadly, it's not. Still I plastered on my best smile. "Of course I have. Why ask?"
"Well, I was thinking of a time when you opened up to me like that. And guess what? I can't think of one. So, what's he like? More importantly, who is he?"
"Well, it won't matter anymore if you asked now. I'm over him."
"Hey! Over or not, tell it to me. It's unfair. I said mine to you!" He complained and as usual, it reminded me of a child who was throwing tantrums. How cute.
I shrugged, "It's not like I pushed you to tell me that. You're the one who just blurted it out."
"I wouldn't open up to you anymore," he stated, clearly expecting me to take the threat and confess.
"Let's see if you can." My lips curled up in a smile when I saw him slouch, realizing that he wouldn't be able to.
"But yeah, the feelings you have for her feels true. I'm not really sure what others think but as I saw the two of you together. You look really in love. So don't doubt your feelings." I managed to convey what I truly think about his attraction to her. Yes, it was an attempt to regain the normality in our conversation. He probably wouldn't notice it anyway.
"Thanks for saying that," he said, his onyx eyes twinkling with sincerity. "But who said I doubt my feelings? I'm sure that she's very important to me for a while now, I just didn't realize how deep it is."
I smiled once again, seeing his relaxed form beside me, basking in an almost different light from where I could see. My heart throbbed, happy and at the same time sad at this growth that I didn't get to witness beside him. That I didn't get to cause.
"How about you?" He asked, and for a moment I got lost gazing in his eyes. "Who is your crush?" I snapped out of my stupor at the question. He is being oddly persistent. I'm really surprised that the topic about me still hasn't ended.
"Well, I do have many crush."
"Seriously?" His eyes widened and looked panicky at me. "Are girls always like that? What if she's like that?!"
I shook my head at his silliness. "Don't worry she's not like that. I had many crushes but many of the feelings I felt are just infatuation. Those feelings fade over time."
He raised a brow. "Aren't you sad that they aren't the one? Do you even have that someone you really like?"
"I did have one," I answered in a small voice, hoping that he wouldn't hear it to no avail. "But I didn't ask him out so it's now too late."
He gave a noncommittal hum before asking, "So who is it?"
"Who is what?" I asked pretending to not know what he was asking about.
"You know, the boy you like?"
I let the silence continue, turning my head away from him. I know that I should answer, so I could have closure but... I still couldn't. I'm slowly but surely getting over him now. It will just be my secret. I swore to myself that I will not tell it to anyone. Maybe not until I'm sure that I'm totally over him. And now's not the time.
"Hey!" He raised his voice to catch my attention as he waved a hand to my face.
That was when a noticed a figure walking not far from us. "Ah," I let out a short gasp in surprise. What a nice timing.
"What?"
I focused on his face again, running my blue eyes on his scrunched up brow to the frown on his lips before pointing my fingers behind him. He, in curiosity looked back to find no one there.
"Lisanna," he warned, tone filled with a hint of annoyance.
I laughed and pointed at his back again.
"No! I'm not gonna be fooled again," he said as he crossed his hands.
I continued to smile as I wait for her to approach. Thanking her in my mind for unknowingly helping to spare me that question. My smile widened when she was finally close to reach and touch his shoulders. The show would be interesting again, seeing the expression on her face says that she was not so happy.
"Hey, Natsu," she started menacingly, a dark smile on her face. "I thought you'll be back after buying snacks." He flinched at the tone of her voice. "And look? You still haven't buyed anything?"
"L-Lucy?" He asked, slowly turning his head as if to prepare himself from the blonde's wrath. With his empty hands, it was obvious that he still didn't do his task, his only task too apparently.
She smiled at me. I understand that it was her greeting. I returned it as brightly as I can to match hers.
"Don't think that you'll be saved for doing that project just because I'm your partner."
"But Lucy I was just asking her about something important. Right Lisanna?" Natsu looked at me with his best sparkling eyes, begging me to agree, to back him up.
"Nah, we just finished talking. You can have him now," I said giving it more than one meaning. She looked confused for a second but she beamed nonetheless. At the prospect of scolding him too probably.
"You're so cruel Lisanna! I thought we're friends." Natsu shouted as he got dragged away.
"Good luck," I smiled waving at them which Lucy returned.
Their playful banter can still be heard at the place where I am. They were loud like usual. They headed back to the library, forgetting the food as punishment for Natsu and would just continue doing their project. Together. He was lucky that he got paired with—no. Actually, he was lucky that Lucy accepted his offer to pair up. I don't have to ask why she did.
He's lucky she reciprocates his affections. Although it was a common knowledge to everyone, it was unknown by the two. I let myself smile, feeling a lot lighter than I've ever did after releasing a deep breath.
I hope the two of them can eventually say what they really feel for each other.
As I've said, I had different crushes but it really did fade over time. The one that stayed in my heart now have the one he really likes. I'm not gonna ruin their future together by getting in between them. I also know that I don't have a chance. I would endure the pain of not saying anything than ruin the friendship that we have. I would stay strong until I can find the one that can make me fall all over again. I really look forward to the day where I can laugh about the fact that his childhood friend liked him.
That I liked Natsu.
notes: Thanks for reading!
It's actually inspired by a fic about SakuSyao where the character that tells the story isn't revealed at first. Well, the story is definitely not the same. So I guess it's alright. Right? xD
Feel free to say what you think. :3
09/13/17