Stay or Walk Away?
He sat in silence, the stillness of the dark room around him. Eyes focussed blindly on the woman in the bed in front of him. He didn't have to look at the undulating line on the screen just beyond her its movement peppered with the rhythmic beeping of the machine, the mechanical rise and fall of her chest to know that she was dying. He could hear each dragging beat of her heart as it struggled on. Hands clasped under his chin, shoulders hunched, he closed his eyes against her image, trying to stop the memory of what had happened clawing at him – the guilt growing inside of him.
Outside of the room, beyond his solitude, he could hear Schanke talking to the nurses. Trying to convince himself as much as them that what had happened had been beyond their control, that they hadn't seen it coming. Who could have guessed that when they'd answered the homicide call that the killer would be lying in wait for them? In the chaos of the crime scene who would have seen him emerge from the darkness, arm extended, gun raised? Who would have known that he'd open fire? How could they have known that before they'd taken him down one of the bullets would hit one of their own?
"Natalie," He breathed her name, breaking his silence and drowning out his partner's voice for an instant. Lending an identity to the woman in front of him, breaking the barrier he'd risen against the memories that flooded his mind. Taking him from the room, sending him back to the rain soaked alleyway, the flashing lights from patrol cars ricocheting around the walls around him. The body lying on the ground, a halo of blood around her head – its fragrance stirring the beast within him. His jaw clenching against the feel of his fangs stirring.
He was back amongst the police officers cordoning off the area, the mumbling of his partner as he surveyed the scene. He could hear the familiar sound of her car drawing up to the scene, the smile she gave him as he turned around and their eyes met through her windscreen. The way her eyes dropped momentarily, shyly acknowledging that he could hear her heart quicken as he returned her smile. He heard the grating of the key in the ignition as she turned off the engine. His eyes followed her as she exited her car, his hand brushing her elbow as she moved past him to inspect the body. He watched her kneel down, reaching into her bag to pull a pair of gloves on. Tracing the movements of her hands as she inspected the body and listening to her as she surmised what had happened. Just beyond the rich tones of her voice he heard the barrel of a gun click….
The sensation of a hand on his shoulder brought him back into the hospital room. The warmth of the touch stirring a momentary reaction from the Vampire. Quelling it with age old skill he opened his eyes, looking up to see a Nurse standing in front of him, sympathy clear on her face. Could she see how this was affecting him? Could she see his guilt?
She said nothing as she stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her and leaving him again in solitude.
He turned himself again to the weak beating of the heart of the woman that had promised him what he had sought for hundreds of years, a cure for his affliction. Was it this that drew him to her? How close had she been? Her attempts had failed before but still he found himself inexplicably connected to her, more than the thousands of mortals he had seen pass through his eternity – mere glimmers on the surface of the oceans of time. Inexplicably tied to the hope that one day she would end his torture and heal him of the Beast that dwelled within him.
But what if she died?
He knew he could help her, as he had her brother. Richard. A brother he had spared from death as he lay on the brink, his body failing from the damage caused by the gunshot that had ripped through him, giving him life as he had been given it.
Life he had had to take back.
But could he condemn her to face the eternity that enslaved him? To continue searching for a cure that might not be. With all that had come to pass between them, with the love he held for her, the love he knew she held for him, would eternity with her be more bearable – existing as the creature he hated? Would she come to resent him as he resented his master?
He clenched his jaw against the sound of her heartbeat, rasping, faltering – her time running short. Along the immortal string that joined him to his master he could feel a stirring, a sense of understanding, an acknowledgement that if he was going to act it had to be soon – it had to be now.